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Summary
He knew fifth year would be hard. Harry expected nightmares about Cedric, endless detentions and the beginning of Voldemort's return. He was ready to hear the whispers, the unsure looks of caution and the isolation that followed.
What he didn't expect was the relief of skipping dinner, the control he felt when the blade slashed across his skin or just how easy it had become to push everyone away.
After witnessing the murder of Cedric Diggory, Harry begins to find a way to deal with the guilt that followed. Desperate for something to ease the pain, he begins hurting himself in secret. Harry begins to disappear in ways his friends never expected. He cant sleep, he's too afraid to eat, he has no energy to speak anymore. Nobody seems to understand why he is so angry all of the time and Harry doesn't have it in him to tell them because admitting something is wrong feels worse than drowning in it alone.
But Harry cant hide his problems forever, people begin to notice especially a professor he never thought would care. By the time people begin to notice, Harry has sunk so deep into depression that he no longer sees a future past the war.
Disappearing is easy, Recovering is not.