The Very Normal Hollanov Anniversary Tweets

After launching the Irina Foundation in the fall of 2018, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov seek to affirm their newly-announced friendship and get people used to the idea that there’s more to their shared history than is commonly known. They decide that they’ll reveal new details about noteworthy moments in their shared past on the 10th anniversaries of those events.

Chapter 1: first meeting (Dec 2018)
Chapter 2: draft day (Jun 2019)

…

(Or: 5 times Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov tweet about a 10th anniversary before the public knows about their relationship, and 1 time they tweet about a 10th anniversary after being involuntarily outted).

Notes:

Pretty much everything in this story should adhere to the show and/or book canon, with the notable exception that Shane does not come out to his team. But let’s say that the Pikes still find out by late 2018. There will be one big event whose date will be slightly modified (by a month or so) for comedic purpose, but we’ll address that when we get there.

Hope you enjoy! ☺️

Chapter 1: First Meeting (Dec 2018)

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Ilya Rozanov
@ilyarozanov81

10 years since Shane Hollander introduced himself and told me I am awesome player to watch. ☺️

12:34 pm· Dec 28, 2018

379.2K Retweets 9.2K Quote Tweets 2.8M Likes

Shane Hollander @shanehollanderhockeyplayer · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @ilyarozanov81

All you said back was “Yes” 😒

Ilya Rozanov @ilyarozanov81 · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @shanehollanderhockeyplayer

Yes.

Abby
@andtheywererivals

New Hollanov deep lore?! Christmas came late! 🎁

12:41 pm · Dec 28, 2018

31 Retweets 2 Quote Tweets 7 Likes

Johnny
@snowprince24

Is this the feud origin story? Our snow prince said something nice to Rozanov and Rozanov was a dick about it??

12:52 pm · Dec 28, 2018

4 Retweets 5 Quote Tweets 11 Likes

Henry
@hollanovsavestheworld

This is so in character for both of them lol #shanehollander #ilyarozanov

12:48 pm · Dec 28, 2018

1 Retweets 17 Quote Tweets 6 Likes

Pauly 🏳️‍🌈
@hockeyisgay

You don’t see Shane Hollander tweeting about 10 years of knowing Hayden Pike is all I’m saying about THAT.

1:05 pm · Dec 28, 2018

278 Retweets 91 Quote Tweets 718 Likes

Jessie @shaydenforever · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @hockeyisgay

Well, it hasn’t been 10 years yet.

Beth
@iknowplaces2481

My clients are talking about their meet cute!

12:56 pm · Dec 28, 2018

691 Retweets 238 Quote Tweets 2.9K Likes

Jack
@unbearablyrozanov

”Yes” is killing me. 😂

12:48 pm · Dec 28, 2018

0 Retweets 3 Quote Tweets 11 Likes

I can see Russia from
@ilyasbedroom

I know it’s been a few months since the Irina Foundation press conference but it’s still so weird to see Roz and Hollander act like they don’t hate each others’ guts.

1:09 pm · Dec 28, 2018

61 Retweets 128 Quote Tweets 984 Likes

Vera @seeminglygingerale · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @ilyasbedroom

They haven’t acted like that in ages.

Abby
@RussiasMostWanted

Did we know they met that early on? I guess I always thought they met at the draft

12:53 pm · Dec 28, 2018

72 Retweets 118 Quote Tweets 5.8K Likes

👀 @hollanovsightings · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @RussiasMostWanted

I mean, we knew they faced off and shook hands during the 08 JWC but this is the first I’m hearing of an introduction and talk.

Yuna Hollander
@YunaHollander24

I remember asking Shane when he got in the car if he’d had the chance to speak to Ilya and he told me Ilya was “a bit of a dick”lol

1:21 pm · Dec 28, 2018

7.4K Retweets 582 Quote Tweets 285K Likes

Ilya Rozanov @ilyarozanov81 · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @YunaHollander24

Actually I am a lot of dick but he loves this about me 😇

Shane Hollander @shanehollanderhockeyplayer · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @ilyarozanov81

I hate literally everything about you.

Yuna Hollander @YunaHollander24 · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @shanehollanderhockeyplayer

I thought it was funny!

dimples
@hollanderizeme24

Shane Hollander being an Ilya Rozanov fan wasn’t on my hockey bingo card for 2018

1:04 pm · Dec 28, 2018

1.8K Retweets 582 Quote Tweets 6.9K Likes

XXL @shanesjockstrap · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @hollanderizeme24

Nothing these two have done this year was on my hockey bingo card.

dimples @hollanderizeme24 · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @shanesjockstrap

Right? What do you mean they launched a charity? They’re actually friends? Ilya Rozanov cried on camera about his mother?

caught you staring @youwerelookingat81 · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @hollanderizeme24

Saying all of that but forgetting the big one: Roz moving to Ottawa. OTTAWA.

Matty @vodkaonilyasabs · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @youwerelookingat81

Maybe she’s like me and she’s repressed the memory so deeply she’s convinced herself our beloved captain is on LTIR and some clone is playing for Ottawa

caught you staring @youwerelookingat81 · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @vodkaonilyasabs

Honestly that’s lowkey valid as fuck

dimples @hollanderizeme24 · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @vodkaonilyasabs

Hollander’s Hubby
@derekhollander24

Did Ilya Rozanov just make a dick joke at Shane Hollander’s mother????

1:33 pm · Dec 28, 2018

19.4K Retweets 279 Quote Tweets 50.3K Likes

Ilya’s Whore @wh0re4ilya81 · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @derekhollander24

The literal big dick energy 😏

helmet kiss
@hollanderrozanov

Can we all agree it’s at least a little bit gay to not only remember the day you met your archrival but to also commemorate the 10 year anniversary of the occasion?

12:51 pm · Dec 28, 2018

394 Retweets 503 Quote Tweets 4.9K Likes

Ash 🔥
@showmeudeserveit

The fact that Ilyusha has known Shane Hollander since the first time he ever stepped foot in North America.

12:59 pm · Dec 28, 2018

2.9K Retweets 691 Quote Tweets 8.7K Likes

Celeste 🏳️‍⚧️ @addictedtorozanov · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @showmeudeserveit

Wait omg this is so true and so cute

Hockey Robot
@InterpretingHollander

In Shane Hollander Media Speak™ calling someone “a bit of a dick” means that they are a horrendous monster who committed unspeakable atrocities.

1:17 pm · Dec 28, 2018

48.5K Retweets 482 Quote Tweets 65.9K Likes

Bi!Ilya @biilyarozanov81 · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @InterpretingHollander

The “unspeakable atrocity” here being that Rozzy didn’t compliment him back 🤣

sweet baby @sweetbaby24 · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @biilyarozanov81

Even at 17, sweet baby knew that he was Shane FUCKING Hollander and he deserved to have some respect on his name.

Ash 🔥 @showmeudeserveit · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @sweetbaby24

I KNOW you’re not talking about putting respect on the name of the grown ass man you call “sweet baby”

let’s puck!
@hockeyisforeplay

Oh. The girls are fighting.

Shane Hollander @shanehollanderhockeyplayer · Dec 28, 2018

@ilyarozanov81 I hate literally everything about you.

1:06 pm · Dec 28, 2018

4.2K Retweets 716 Quote Tweets 27.5K Likes

Ilya’s Chain @rozanovdynasty · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @hockeyisforeplay

Their whole “we’re friends we do charity we care about mental health”rebrand lasted less than 3 months lmfao

Ilya’s #1
@mobbozzroz

Everyone is saying Roz acted like an asshole but nobody is considering how weak his English was back then. Dude was fighting for his life in those early speaking appearances.

1:31 pm · Dec 28, 2018

27.5K Retweets 471 Quote Tweets 59.2K Likes

Zoe @greatscotthesdoneit · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @mobbozzroz

Okay, you’re right but the sentence “you’re an awesome player”is pretty easy to grasp.

Ilya’s #1 @mobbozzroz · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @greatscotthesdoneit

Unless you don’t know the meaning of the word “awesome” lol

Ilya’s Armpit
@ilyasarmpit

Shane Hollander: “you’re an awesome player”

Ilya Rozanov:

Ilya’s #1 @mobbozzroz · Dec 28, 2018

Unless you don’t know the meaning of the word “awesome”lol

1:42 pm · Dec 28, 2018

582.8K Retweets 1.8K Quote Tweets 1.7M Likes

Ilya’s Armpit @ilyasarmpit · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @ilyasarmpit

Ilya RozANOV LIKE D THIS TWERKTJ

Kelly
@frecklesandmoles2481

Imagine your boyfriend telling your mom on a public platform that you love his big dick.

1:33 pm · Dec 28, 2018

17.5K Retweets 682 Quote Tweets 48.3K Likes

Frank @franklyfranklin · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @frecklesandmoles2481

I’m pretty sure he meant that he IS a big dick, not that he HAS a big dick.

Kelly @frecklesandmoles2481 · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @franklyfranklin

We’ve seen the bulge. At the very least, he meant it both ways lol

Kayla
@waytoohonest81

So does Roz win the feud if Hollander admits to admiring him as a player? 🧐

1:18 pm · Dec 28, 2018

389 Retweets 103 Quote Tweets 3.8K Likes

Jack @unbearablyrozanov · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @waytoohonest81

Girl they buried the feud ages ago

Abby @RussiasMostWanted · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @waytoohonest81

Was there ever even a feud if Hollander was praising him right from the day they met?

Willa
@hollydaze247

17 year old Shane Hollander: the media says this guy is my arch enemy, I should politely introduce myself in the name of good sportsmanship.

1:48 pm · Dec 28, 2018

5.3K Retweets 139 Quote Tweets 13.1K Likes

2x Stanley Cup Winner @hollanderinblue · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @hollydaze247

LITERALLY

Lucky 🇨🇭
@luckyrozanov81

Normal People Receiving Compliment:
1. “Thank you”
2. *compliment you back*

Ilya Rozanov Receiving Compliment:
”I acknowledge your praise. I agree with it.”

1:26 pm · Dec 28, 2018

176K Retweets 583 Quote Tweets 482.9K Likes

Ilya’s Armpit @ilyasarmpit · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @luckyrozanov81

The way he’s still like this. ❤️

I can see Russia from @ilyasbedroom · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @luckyrozanov81

AS HE SHOULD.

ROZ NATION
@ROZNATION81

Ilya just added “An awesome player to watch. A lot of a dick.” to his twitter bio.

1:41 pm · Dec 28, 2018

42.8K Retweets 482 Quote Tweets 108.4K Likes

Harris @HarrisDroverMedia · Dec 28, 2018 Replying to @ROZNATION81

Ilya no.

Svetlana Vetrova
@sveta_vetrova

10 years since he texted to ask me the English word for “vesnushki.” Which could mean anything, I’m sure.

1:44 pm · Dec 28, 2018

0 Retweets 0 Quote Tweets 3 Likes

Notes:

Oh wow, it’s my first ever publication on AO3. I’m horrendously unambitious about writing, so I never thought I’d make it to this point. I guess starting with a social media fic is a lot simpler lol. No AI was used in the writing process. I don’t even know how that shit works.

I’ve already written the six chapters for the 5+1 things, but there are two additional interludes I want to include; one of those is half done, while the other hasn’t yet been started (which is no good, very bad because it will be the biggest piece of writing in this story lol oops). I do still have to format the written chapters, so hopefully I’ll do that in a timely manner. I’m utterly useless at coding, so I’m extremely grateful for the AO3 twitter post generator made by Aetherath (IDK how to embed the link here lol); I simply would not even have bothered trying to do this without it.

(“vesnushki” = “freckles”)

All comments and kudos extremely appreciated! ☺️

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