Chapter Text
Leona stepped into the Mostro Lounge. It was closed at the moment, but he and his boyfriends had been formally invited for a tasting. According to Azul, “Floyd got bored and Jade is mad that only one dish has mushrooms in it, so I’m asking you so I can get non-biased opinions.”
“Can’t you just ask the other kids in your dorm?” Idia asked, eager to escape socializing.
“I’m not actively making out with the other kids in my dorm,” Azul responded. “Be honored I’m offering you free stuff.”
The others were already waiting for him. He took his seat at the table and Azul explained the situation.
“Because of the upcoming interscholastic games, Crowley has requested I create unique dishes to represent each dorm. I’m not sure if he wants to build school pride or shove our team work in RSA’s faces. Anyway, the last thing I wanted to do was order all these new ingredients for a limited run. But, with help from the twins and furious research, I’ve come up with seven themed dishes.”
He handed them a small piece of laminated purple paper, with the same coral designs as the normal Mostro Lounge menu and “Dorm Specials” written on the top.
“Can I get you anything to drink?” Jade asked, having materialized between Idia and Malleus. He placed a drinks menu next to the special menu on the table.
“I’d like a lemonade,” Riddle said.
“Do you have pink lemonade?” Vil asked.
“Yes we do,” Jade said.
“I’ll have that.” Idia whispered in Vil’s ear. “And Idia will have a vanilla Coke.”
“Cherry soda for me,” Jamil said.
“I’ll just have water,” Leona said.
“Me as well,” Malleus agreed.
Jade walked away. Azul returned their attention to the food they’d come here to try.
“Why are there two spaghetti dishes?” Riddle asked.
“Spaghetti works with many things,” Azul said. “We almost added it to Diasomnia too.”
“But that’s not fair,” Riddle insisted. “Everyone else gets their own pasta shape!”
“Listen,” Azul said. “How about I start with those and you can decide. The pasta all tastes the same, it’s a difference of texture. For example, the twisted fusilli in Diasomnia’s dish better catches the pesto sauce, while Pomefiore’s simple carbonara allows the ravioli filling to shine.”
Riddle nodded. “I suppose we’ll start with Heartslabyul.”
Azul left to grab the dish, while Jade handed out their drinks.
“Thank you, Jade,” Riddle said. “So, how has everyone…” Riddle looked up, for Jade was still standing, watching and waiting expectantly for him to drink. Riddle looked at his iced tea, then at Jade, and then took a cautious sip. “Has a fruity kick to it.”
“That would be the grenadine,” Jade said.
“What’s in grenadine?” Leona asked. “It sounds like a molecule.”
“It’s pomegranate juice,” Vil said. “I assume it’s also in the pink lemonade to give it its color.”
Idia’s eyes widened. Vil smiled and let him take a sip.
“It doesn’t taste like pomegranate…” Idia muttered, going back to his coke.
Azul returned with the first dish. It was spaghetti, bathed in a light, creamy tomato sauce, topped with chopped onions, basil and balls of mozzarella.
Azul handed out forks and Jade placed a small plate in front of each of them, like the appetizer plates.
“Dig in!” Azul instructed. And so they did. Vil spun some of the spaghetti over his fork and placed it on his plate. Riddle and Malleus matched his elegance, and Jamil did to a certain degree. Idia—poor, unelegant Idia—simply grabbed at it with the fork, hopping to tangle it so it got stuck.
“Leona?” Malleus turned to him. “Dear, don’t tell me you’re ignoring it because there’s no meat.”
“I mean, that’s part of it but not the main reason,” Leona gestured to the dish. “There’s onions in it.”
“Oh, you big baby,” Vil groaned. “Why can’t you–”
“I’m allergic to onions,” Leona said, now smug that Vil was angry.
“Oh…”
“Well, not really allergic, but I can’t eat onions or garlic or else I’ll get anemic.”
“That can’t be—”
“He’s right,” Riddle said. “So called ‘onion allergy’ is common in canine and feline beastmen.”
“Jack’s got it too,” Leona said. “Not Ruggie though. He’ll eat anything.”
“Can’t you eat around it?” Jamil asked.
“No he can’t,” Azul finished. “There’s garlic in the sauce. And in the Octavinelle dish’s too.”
“So don’t order this? Got it.” Leona smiled. “I’ll be happy to help with the taste test when you aren’t trying to poison me.”
“Don’t make jokes,” Jamil muttered before going back to his pasta.
Azul sighed. “Alright, fine. But I’m telling you now, Savanaclaw’s the only other dish with meat in it.”
Leona cursed to himself.
“What do the rest of you think?” Azul asked.
“I like it,” Malleus said. “The pasta goes very well with the sauce. And it doesn’t make me want to throw up.”
“Thank you…?” Azul said. He’d forgotten Malleus’ main food reference despite growing up in a palace was Lilia.
“I think it’s good,” Idia muttered. “I’m not a big fan of pasta anyway, but if I was hungry I could finish the plate. B-but I like the little mozzarella balls.”
“It’s fine, I suppose,” Vil said, taking a mozzarella ball with his fork and feeding Idia one. Idia blushed. “It’s very creamy, which I didn’t expect from a tomato sauce dish.”
“Yeah…” Riddle said. “The sauce is almost orange in color. If you themed it after Heartslabyul, I would expect it to be more…red? Taste wise it’s fine.”
Jamil placed his fork down on the now empty plate. “It’s a tad light for me. I expected a much thicker sauce with more tomato in it. I would suggest changing the sauce to something thicker.”
Azul sighed. He expected Jamil to have the most critical feedback, but it was needed.
“A thicker ragu would pair better with the mozzarella balls,” Jade added.
Azul nodded. “Jade, can you get our Octavinelle dish?” He pulled out a notepad and took note of his improvements. “Thicken sauce…”
Jamil took out a napkin and wiped off some sauce in Riddle’s face.
“S-sorry,” Riddle said. “I’m not normally a messy eater.”
“Don’t be,” Jamil chuckled. When I was little, I got curry all over me. I once got it in my eye.”
Riddle laughed. “You describe yourself as some ravenous beast.”
“I was,” Jamil smirked. “I’m glad you’re eating.”
“Me too.”
As Leona put his head down to nap, Jade brought the next plate, also spaghetti, served in a creamier sauce, topped with spinach and sliced tilapia. The boys repeated their routine, making sure they each got a piece of the fish.
“Ooh!” Jamil jumped. “The sauce has a kick to it!”
Azul smiled. “The sauce is made of cream, garlic and lemon juice.”
“I wonder…” Malleus muttered. “Does it necessarily need to be spaghetti?”
“Agreed,” Vil said. “Wouldn’t a shape pasta be better?”
“Yes,” Jamil said. “A shaped pasta could better hold the fish and lemon juice.”
“What about conchiglie?” Jade asked.
“Bless you,” Leona said.
Jade walked into the kitchen and came back with a box of shell shaped pasta.
“That would fit the theme of Octavinelle better,” Riddle said.
“Of course it would, we use it so much already,” Azul muttered.
“The whole point of this was to make sure we can reuse as many ingredients as possible,” Jade explained. “Surely using the Mostro Lounge’s signature shape would help.”
Azul sighed. The signature pasta dish placed at the top of the pasta menu was conchiglie in a buttery-creamy seafood sauce, with ricotta, mushrooms and salmon. He didn’t want to mirror it too much. But…well, this one had garlic and it was tilapia, not salmon. Completely different.
“Okay, what’s next?”
“Maybe we should eat the vega option before Leona wakes up,” Malleus said, nudging Leona. The sleeping lion did not respond. Jade left to grab another dish.
“Do you…” Idia narrowed his eyes, “think I’m vegan?”
“Idia, my love, I’ve seen you eat meat in your ramen before. I’m not stupid. I don’t think you’re vegan. I just had to include the option. A lot of RSA students are vegan or vegetarian.”
“I mean, I think like ten kids in my dorm are vegan,” Idia said. “Real tree huggers.”
“Your vegan pasta!” Jade called out. He placed in front of them a plate of yellow, green and red rotini (a spirally shape) in a creamy sauce, topped with basil and mushrooms.
Leona looked up. “Oh good, I can go back to sleep.”
Azul tugged on Leona’s hair. “Absolutly not. You promised.”
“Do you have that in writing?” Leona asked smugly.
“Quit being a little bitch and eat the pasta,” Vil chastised. “Your boyfriend invited you here to give you free food and you’re wasting it. And you know how hard it is for Azul to give free things.”
Jade leaned closer to Leona’s face. “Eat the pasta or I’m putting onions and mushrooms in the Savanaclaw pasta.”
Leona sat up, taking a fork full of the pasta. “It tastes kinda off.”
“All vegan food tastes off,” Jamil said. “I don’t think it’s bad, just a bit different.”
“The tricolor is a nice touch,” Vil said. “What exactly makes this vegan? Is the rest of the pasta not vegan?”
“The pasta itself is dried for long-term storage, so yes it’s vegan. It’s either the sauce or the cheese that makes it not vegan. All other dishes on this special menu contain cheese or meat of some kind.”
Vil nodded, going back for a second bite. “I do quite enjoy this one.”
Idia concurred. “Again, not a big pasta guy, but I like it, I guess.”
“What’s the sauce made of?” Malleus asked.
“Cashew cream.”
Riddle nodded. “I think I’ve had this before. It’s much better on pasta.”
“What do you think Jamil,” Azul asked, wrapping his arms around Jamil.
Jamil took another bite, slow to respond just to make Azul angry. “Could use some pepper.”
Azul placed his chin on top of Jamil’s head. “You’re impossible.”
Riddle placed his fork down. “We should move on. What else is on the menu?”
“Can’t we take a break?” Idia asked. “I feel like I’m about to explore from over eating.”
Azul nodded. “A ten minute break sounds fine.”
Leona stood up to stretch. His back curved like a cat, and his mouth opened in a large yawn. When his back straightened again, Vil had appeared behind him, wrapping his arms around Leona’s waist and placing his head on Leona’s shoulder.
“Be nice,” Vil said. “This is basically a date and you’ve been MIA the whole time.”
“A date?” Leona asked. “We’re just free labor.”
“Are we?” Vil turned him around. Leona saw Malleus giving Jamil a kiss on the cheek.
“Are you enjoying it, dear?” Malleus asked.
“I am,” Jamil said. “Getting a bit full though. Carbs are very filling.”
“Well, if you need me to eat some extra, I’d be happy to!” Malleus kissed him again. “Same for you, my darling rose, but I advise you to please eat as much as you can. I worry for you sometimes.”
Riddle nodded. “It’s rude to turn down such hospitality.”
On the other side of their room, Azul was watching Idia as he did some quick logins.
“Ooh, he’s pretty,” Azul said. Without missing a beat, he looked up at Idia. “Not as pretty as you.”
Idia blushed. “Aww.”
“I’m sorry I’m stuffing you full of pasta. There’s only so many people I can trust.”
Idia kissed Azul’s forehead. “It’s fine. Ortho said I could gain a few grams.”
“Pleasure to help,” Azul said. “Happy Ortho, happy boyfriend. Happy boyfriend, happy me.”
Leona looked back at Vil. “What exactly do you want me to do?”
“Stop being a little bitch and have fun with us.”
Riddle returned from his bathroom run and sat down with the others. “Have we picked our next sampling?”
“We’re between the Savanaclaw ziti or the Pomefiore ravioli,” Jamil said. “You’re the tie breaker unless you want Diasomnia’s.”
“Let’s get the meat out of the way,” Riddle said.
Jade left and quickly returned with the plate. The ziti (a tubular shape with diagonal ridges) was coated in a deep red tomato sauce, and covered in simmered beef. You could see the drool coming out of Leona’s mouth.
“The sauce is a modified bolognese,” Jade explained. “Traditionally it has ground beef in it, but I found the meat was a bit overwhelming.”
The boys took their servings, and Azul pulled out his own fork and took a few bites.
“Well, look who’s decided to join us,” Leona teased.
“You’d think I’d be sick of pasta by now,” Azul said. “What are your thoughts everyone?”
Idia shrugged. Most of the meat was still on his plate. “It’s a bit too meaty for me. But the sauce is fine.”
“Could use some cheese,” Jamil said.
Malleus nodded. “I agree. It would help break up the flavors.”
“Parmesan is offered with all pizza or pasta dishes, and on request,” Jade reminded.
“I consider this one a home run,” Vil said. “While it is a bit heavy on the meat, I enjoy it.”
“I like how you’ve picked out dishes that fit a wide variety of wants,” Riddle said. “Not just dietary restrictions, but also personal preferences.”
Azul smiled ear to ear. “I’m happy to hear that.”
Jamil looked over their menu. “I’m noticing the Scarabia themed plate has optional paprika and red pepper flakes.”
Jade smiled. “The sample we cooked does not have it but if you’re all fine with it, I can add it.”
Jamil looked up at his boyfriends with pleading eyes. Riddle sighed. “Fine.”
Idia shrugged. “I’ve had spicy food before. It’s just paprika.”
Jade nodded. “Azul will bring you the ravioli while I mix that up.”
Azul looked at Jade with indignation but did as he was “ordered.” He returned with a plate of large circular raviolis, covered in a yellow sauce and plenty of parmesan cheese.
“There’s a noodle for each of you,” Azul said. “Dig in.”
Jamil, Riddle and Vil placed a noodle on each plate. At this point there was a variety of sauces and leftover noodle or meat bits on each of their plates. It was a mess.
Jamil used his fork to split the ravioli in half and took a bite. Riddle and Vil matched his elegance. Leona stared at the ravioli like it was his archnemesis, before finally taking a bite. Idia and Malleus, quite unelegantly, picked up the whole ravioli with a fork and took a bite, the rest of the ravioli dangling on the fork prongs like a corndog.
“Do you need mommy to cut it up for you?” Leona teased.
Malleus smirked. “Are you going to be my mommy for the day, then?”
Leona chuckled. “Nah, but I’ll be your—”
Jade appeared behind the two, bonking them both on the head with a rolling pin.
“Watch it, punk,” Leona grumbled. “Just because you’re my boyfriend’s friend doesn’t mean I won’t fight you.”
“Just because you’re my friend’s boyfriends doesn’t mean I’ll allow you to sex talk at my tables,” Jade said, the rolling pin disappearing back into the aether where he found it. “What do you think of the ravioli?”
“It’s good,” Leona said. “This whole dish feels a bit light.”
“The cheese’s texture adds to the whole experience,” Vil said. “I suppose if I had to pick a dish to represent Pomefiore, it would be this.”
“Pretty on the outside, gooey on the inside,” Malleus said.
Vil scoffed. “I’m beautiful on the inside too.”
Jamil looked at Vil skeptically. “You tried to poison someone.”
Vil dramatically placed a finger over Jamil’s mouth. “Shhhhh.”
“Bite his finger,” Leona encouraged.
“Do not bite his finger,” Riddle scolded.
“Bite his finger,” Leona repeated.
“Guys,” Idia moaned, “not in front of my ravioli!”
Azul smiled. “You like it Idia?”
“Soft and cheesy,” he said smiling. “I can feel my HP restoring now.”
“I’ve noticed this has begun to go cold so maybe we should move on.”
“Yes,” Jade said, taking the now empty ravioli dish and replacing it with a beautiful penne mac and cheese, covered in tiny red speckles. Each of Azul’s dear beloveds took a sample before Malleus slid the rest of the plate to a very happy Jamil.
“Are you going to eat that whole thing?” Idia asked.
“No,” Jamil said, still smiling. “If I eat too much I’ll pop.” Still he grabbed his fork and started eating.
“There are four types of cheese in this dish,” Jade explained, “Parmesan, ricotta, mozzarella and fontina. The cheese has been melted and mixed together, and of course absolutely filled with paprika and red pepper flakes.”
“Partially because of the gold and red color scheme of Scarabia,” Azul added, “and partially because of Scarabia’s reputation for spicy food and lively energy.”
“You can just say it’s because your boyfriend likes spicy food,” Jade said. “I don’t judge.”
“You do judge, you just do it quietly.”
Jade kept smiling. “What do you think?”
Leona nodded. “The spices are nice.”
“It’s a little light on the spices for me,” Jamil said. “I assume if someone’s adding the spices they want spicy. So maybe add cayenne peppers and nutmeg?”
Idia gulped. “This spice level is fine but I doubt I could take much more.”
“I can feel the inflammatory response,” Vil groaned. “But the rest is fine. The cheeses go well together.”
“Let’s move on,” Leona said. “What’s last? Diasomnia?”
“Ah, I’ve been waiting for this!” Malleus said excitedly. “I’ve never heard of pesto before.”
“It’s not for everyone,” Azul said.
Jamil handed Jade the rest of the mac and cheese plate. “Take this from me before I make a mistake.”
Jade left and returned with the final dish: twisty fusilli covered in green pesto sauce, with ricotta chunks, sliced olives and cherry tomatoes.
“Oh…” Leona managed. “It’s green.”
“It’s green,” Riddle said.
“It’s green,” Idia repeated.
“Is this really all you can say?” Azul asked.
“It’s green,” Vil said, just to be annoying.
Azul looked over to Jamil, hoping he’d have something intellectual to say. Instead, Jamil looked Azul dead in his stupid face, and said “it’s green.”
Malleus took his sample and the others followed suit.
“It’s…” Malleus began. “Um…”
“It certainly has a taste,” Riddle said.
“Tastes like plant vomit.”
“I don’t mind it,” Vil said. “Not something I’d eat regularly but I could eat it again.”
“The pairing is nice,” Jamil said. “And the toppings are nice.”
Jade looked over to Azul. “Have we gathered sufficient data?”
Azul nodded. “Yes we have.”
“Great,” Vil stood. “I’m going for a walk. I feel like I’ve eaten my weight in pasta. I need to burn these calories.”
“I’ll go with you,” Leona said. He stood and walked after Vil.
Malleus turned to Idia. “What about you, my darling flame?”
“I’m going to go lay down,” Idia said. “I’m…so full.”
“I hope neither you or Riddle plan on skipping a meal because of this,” Malleus said.
“Don’t worry. I’ll eat dinner, I just might eat it a little late.”
“You actually shouldn’t lay down,” Azul said. “It slows digestion. Leona and Vil are on the right path.”
“What if I go back to my dorm and sleep in my chair?” Idia asked.
Azul shrugged. “That’s fine. Can I convince you to drink some tea first?”
“Nope,” Idia stood. “But I bet Riddle and Malleus would like that.”
They nodded. The trio went into the kitchen to prepare the tea.
“Jamil?” Azul asked. “Are you leaving?”
Jamil followed them. “Is there anything I can package for Kalim later?”
“Yeah,” Azul helped Jamil pack some leftover mac and cheese. Jamil and his remaining boyfriends exchanged a few kisses and then left.
“Are you mad at me?” Leona asked.
Vil turned to him with a frown. “I wish you’d engage more with us.”
“Listen, Queenie, I’ve had a long day, and I just ate so much pasta.”
“I know, but you could have interacted more. Been more romantic.”
“What’s so romantic about eating noodles?” Leona grumbled.
“Anything can be romantic if you try!”
“Queenie, listen. I don’t feel the need to show off how much I love you guys. I expect you to know.”
“But we don’t know,” Vil said. “Just…show me in the future that you actually care.”
Leona placed a kiss on his cheek. “I will.”
Vil grabbed his face and kissed his lips. “Don’t be a coward.”
As Azul and Jade cleaned up, Floyd stomped into the lounge.
“Azul! I’m hungryyyyyyyyyyyyyy.”