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For whatever reason, Saihara chose to spend his free time with Iruma in her lab.
She’s not exactly displeased at his decision, but nevertheless eager to share her brainy ideas and inventions. After all, she does live up to her title of Ultimate Inventor.
“Shyhara! Look at this beauty!” She whips around to reveal one of her favourite inventions, pointing it directly at him.
His brow furrows, unclear if it’s at the object being presented or the nickname. “Is that a sensor?”
With an overexaggerated gasp, her jaw drops. “I’m shocked you figured it out! But can you guess what kinda sensor!?”
“I’m not sure.” He confesses.
“Ha! Not even a guess!? Fine by me.” Iruma turns the machine to display a name tag on the side. “I call this baby the Hookup Counter!”
“Hookup Counter?” He repeats, hoping for an explanation.
She groans, “It counts how many people you’ve fucked or how many have fucked you! It’s literally in the name, dipshit!”
Quickly, in hopes that Saihara won’t intervene, she directs the sensor towards the boy and scans him. Fortunately for her, by the time he took notice, the job was already done.
“Hey! Don’t point that thing at me!” He says, accusingly.
“Too late!” She sticks out her tongue in mockery. “Let’s see the result, shall we?”
After a moment, the screen flashed zero, to no one’s surprise.
“Hahaha! You fuckin’ virgin! I don’t know why I bothered to check!” She continues to laugh to herself as she places it back into its original spot.
Even though Saihara expected it, Iruma’s humiliating reaction kind of stung to hear.
The next hour was spent taking Iruma’s verbal abuse and learning about her inventions. Even though she was a strange person, Saihara enjoyed the time getting to know about Iruma’s products and how they were made.
~
Three Days Later
The air between the students this morning sat heavy in the wake of Hoshi Ryouma and Toujou Kirumi. Even when Ouma attempted to stir up some chaos, no one seemed to have energy to refute it.
With no food prepared by Toujou, they were all forced to remember once again that two more of their friends had died.
Although most of the class didn’t eat, everyone took a seat anyway. The ones who ate did so in silence while the others would create irregular small talk.
Something that was brought up was the absence of a bold personality, Iruma Miu. She wasn’t one to skip these meetings like Harukawa so some got increasingly worried.
“There’s no way something happened to Iruma this fast… right?” Yumeno murmurs.
Shutting the girl’s negative thoughts down, Chabashira shakes her head. “She would most definitely fight back against a degenerate male! I know she’s safe!”
“What if it wasn’t a male?” Shirogane interjects.
Momota rubs his temples. “Or what if she’s just late?”
As if on cue, Iruma busts through the entrance door with a mechanical object carried underneath her arm, clearly unscathed.
“Enter; the whore bitchlet.” Ouma declares, creating a dramatic gesture towards the door.
The insult makes her pause as she approaches the table, legs abruptly trembling. “B-bitchlet!?”
“What’s with the hold-up, Iruma-chan? Busy committing some crimes?” He continues.
Her early demeanor promptly disappears as she yells back at Ouma, “Shut your face hole! I was busy choosing an invention to show you all, so be grateful!”
“An invention?” Saihara inquires.
“Oh, don’t worry your pretty little head about it, Shyhara! After all, you’ve already seen it.” She teases as she pulls out the invention, baring it for the group.
And of course, it’s the infamous Hookup Counter.
Saihara grumbles as he recalls the interaction he had with Iruma regarding the machine.
“Gonta don’t know what that is.” Gonta tilts his head, puzzled.
“If you weren’t illiterate, you would clearly see that it’s my beautiful Hookup Counter!” Iruma scoffs, as she underlines the label on the side with her finger.
“Your what!?” Almost everyone shouts.
“Atua did warn me this morning that Miu would pull something dirty today.” Yonaga chimes in.
Iruma gives her the finger. “I’m blessing you all with my gorgeous invention to make everyone’s morning better since you’re all still miserable! Don’t make me regret it, kooky bitch!”
Attempting to keep the peace, Kiibo steps in. “I would appreciate it if everyone listens to what Iruma-san has to say so there aren’t any future disagreements. Could we all make an effort to pay attention?”
Everyone reluctantly nods and turns their attention to Iruma, whose eyes had gone wide on her blushing face.
She barely manages a reply. “Uhm, th-thank y-you.”
Clearing her throat, Iruma delicately places the sensor at the head of the cafeteria table.
“This is the magnificent Hookup Counter!” she announces. “This baby can tell you the name of whoever you scan and how many times they’ve gotten laid! Even if it’s the same person every time, the number will still go up!”
“Fascinating…” Kiibo mumbles to himself, blissfully unaware of what ‘getting laid’ and ‘hooking up’ means.
“So like… what’s the point of this thing?” Momota asks, as if he would rather be anywhere else.
“Does there have to be a point, dumbass!?” Iruma roars. “Anyways! Who would like to go first!?”
To no one’s surprise, the room is silent.
Aside from Ouma’s laughter after he sees that there are no volunteers.
“Nee-hee-hee! No one wants anything to do with you and your useless inventions!” he torments gleefully. “But that comes as a surprise to no one, does it?”
There’s no response from Iruma except for an overtly sexual whine that escapes her mouth.
“Gonta cannot stand for Ouma-kun being mean to Iruma-san!” Gonta asserts towards the class.
Iruma’s eyes light up, her body suddenly filled with hope. “Does that mean you’ll let me test it on you?”
“Gonta don’t want to say no, but Gonta don’t want to say yes either…” He trails off, hoping Iruma will understand where he’s coming from.
Luckily, she doesn't hold it against him and moves on. “Fine then. I’ll just have to choose one of you myself!”
Scanning the room, Iruma sees mostly everyone either hiding their face or visibly worried. Everyone except for…
“Momota!”
Skeptical, he raises an eyebrow. “Me? What’d I do!?”
“Nothing.” She raises the sensor towards her victim. “I just chose you.”
Rushing towards Iruma, he knocks the invention out of her hands before she can read his number, the machine clattering to the floor.
“What the fuck, dickcheese!?” She lashes out at him before kneeling down to pick up her, hopefully, uninjured invention. “Oh thank god! It’s not broken, it’s even got a read! Haha!”
Shocked, Momota leans closer to Iruma to see the number. “Really!? Whose is it? I knocked it on the ground before you could get me so it’s not mine!”
They both read the number on the screen.
One.
Momota glances back up at the group, who are now huddled closer than they were before the debacle. “It says one! Someone in here got laiiiiiid!”
“Oh! Oh! I say it’s Shirogane-chan! She’s a cosplayer, right?” Ouma keenly guesses. “They’re into all that freaky shit!”
Yumeno rolls her eyes. “No way! Iruma totally scanned herself.”
“Hmm, Atua is telling me it’s Korekiyo! He mentioned the ladies saying he was good with ropes!” Yonaga says, as if it's a matter of fact.
“You guys don’t have to keep guessing, you know,” Saihara interrupts the ongoing assumptions. “Iruma-san said the sensor reads the name of whoever got scanned. Just check the name.”
It seems that no one had remembered that small detail except for him, unsurprisingly.
“Saihara’s right! Iruma, whose name is it?” Momota asks, passion clear in his voice.
Iruma’s face contorts into perplexment. “It’s… Saihara’s.”
As soon as those words left her mouth, Saihara’s blood ran cold. Why did it have to get him of all people!?
Much to his dismay, almost everybody started cheering upon hearing the news.
Momota approaches him and claps him on the back. “I didn’t know you had it in ya, buddy!”
“I must say, I’m quite surprised. Saihara-kun seems to be one of the most reserved students after all.” Shinguuji snickers.
“Who cares!? I wanna know which of you fuckers banged him!” Iruma exclaims, snapping out of her dazed state.
Following her words, the students turned to look at her, confusion etched on their faces.
“Why do you say that it’s one of us?” Shirogane asks.
“You know, it doesn’t really matter—” Saihara attempts to shut the conversation down, however, it was in vain as Iruma interrupts him.
“I scanned him three days ago and it read zero! So that means he fucked one of you cum rags!”
“WHAT!?” The room erupts into chaos.
Saihara sinks further into his seat, wishing he could disappear.
“Atua thinks it’s Himiko as she’s been awfully quiet this morning.” Yonaga speculates.
“There’s no way I would let a degenerate male put their filthy hands on Yumeno-san!” Chabashira says, holding her hands up in a fighting stance.
Iruma jumps excitedly. “I bet it’s Harukawa! She probably doesn’t attend breakfast since she can’t walk properly in the mornings!”
“Why are we just guessing girls? Saihara-chan could’ve banged a guy, y’know.” Ouma smirks as he glances at the red-faced boy.
Momota slams his hand on the table. “There’s no way! Saihara would definitely tell me if he was gay! He’s my best friend!”
Rolling her eyes, Iruma groans. “You sure about that? No one even knows if he’s gay! He could be bi!”
“Well, I would know either way! He’s my best bud, alright?” Momota says as he leans back in his chair and places a hand on his embarrassed friend’s shoulder.
Once again making waves in the conversation, Ouma points at Saihara. “Why don’t we just ask the man himself?” Turning his attention towards the detective, he looks him in the eye. “Hey, who got you laid!?”
“Yeah c’mon Shyhara! Who was it!?” Iruma shouts.
Subconsciously, he goes to pull down the brim of his hat, before realising it’s not there. Times like these make him wish he never stopped wearing it.
“Uhm… well, you see… I-I, uhm,” he miserably stumbles over his words, desperate to find any excuse.
“T-the reading must be wrong! Nothing has changed since I was last scanned so that has to be it,” he eventually decides.
Clearly, no one believes him after hearing the boy stutter his words more than once.
“I would like to believe you, but it is plain to see you’re creating an excuse.” Kiibo says, his voice filled with as much sympathy as a robot can have.
Saihara goes to defend himself, but is once again cut off by Iruma. “I could always scan ya again! Then we’ll see if your hypothesis is correct, detective!”
“There’s really no need for that, Iruma-san!” Saihara panics as he quickly stands from his seat and backs towards the entrance door.
She picks up her invention and turns to aim it towards him. “Oh I’m sure there is, Shyhara!”
As she hovers the sensor over his body, he flees from the dining hall with no intentions of returning.
“Did ya get it? Did ya get it!?” Multiple voices desperately overlap from behind Iruma.
She spins around to face the group again. “You bet your asses I did!”
“What’s it say?” They all ask.
Iruma snickers, “One.”
~
A Few Hours Later
Monokuma visited the students earlier that day to alert them of the new unlocked areas around the school. As always, they split up to explore and cover more ground.
Saihara decides to investigate with Momota and Harukawa.
Due to the reveal of her true ultimate ability yesterday, no one wanted to be anywhere near Harukawa. With the exception of Momota of course.
It didn’t seem like she wanted to hang out with the two, but since Momota wouldn’t leave her alone, Saihara figures she was forced to roam the school with them.
On their way to the Ultimate Aikido Master’s lab, the guys converse while Harukawa stays silent, deliberately walking further ahead of them.
“Momota-kun, I don’t think I’ll be up for training tonight.” Saihara says, nervously.
The other boy frowns. “What’s up, man? Are you sick?”
He rubs the back of his head. “Uhm, yeah something like that.”
“It’s alright, Saihara!” He flashes him a thumbs-up. “Focus on getting better so we can train extra hard tomorrow!”
Part of him already knew Momota was going to say that since he’s so strict on Saihara getting stronger. He’s already dreading the next time they train due to his friend’s words.
Momota softly elbows him in the side and lowers his voice, “I was thinking of inviting Harukawa to join us, but maybe it’ll be better if it’s just her and I at first, y’know? Since she’s not exactly a people person.”
Saihara was certainly not expecting that. Ultimately, it was meant to be just them, but it’s not like he’d mind her presence. It’s just that having another person watch him struggle to do a hundred push-ups is kind of embarrassing.
Saihara’s not sure why he’s worrying about the matter since there’s no way Harukawa would want to train with them anyway.
“What are you two girls whispering about?” Harukawa looks over her shoulder at the boys, eyes icy cold.
Momota laughs at the petty insult. “I was actually wondering if you would like to train with us from now on, Harumaki. Saihara won’t be there tonight so it’ll just be us!”
“God, no,” she says firmly, “And don’t call me that.”
“Call you what? Harumaki?”
She grumbles as she storms off into the ultimate lab they’ve now arrived at.
“I’d say that went alright.” Momota says, carefree.
Saihara shakes his head and laughs as they both step into the Ultimate Aikido Master’s lab.
~
After Nighttime
Somehow, Momota managed to convince Harukawa to train with him tonight. He’s not sure if it was because of the amount of times he complained about training alone or him knocking on her door unrelentingly.
As usual, he attempted to say he didn’t need to do a hundred push-ups by using his regular excuse. However, Harukawa didn’t let it slide like Saihara does.
“You drag me out here for training and you’re not even going to do it?” She said, heavily irritated despite her monotone voice.
When she spoke, Momota knew he couldn’t fight back against her. In the end, they both ended up completing their set of exercises. Of course, Harukawa finished first by a large margin, which was expected after discovering that her ultimate ability wasn’t childcare.
After their training was over, they both sat facing the moonlight reflecting off of the school. Momota was panting and coughing incessantly next to the silent girl, who seemed to not be dripping a sweat.
She glared at him next to her. “I didn’t know you were so unfit, Momota.”
“Yeah, I guess I’m,” he pants, “not exactly used to doing a hundred push-ups in a row.”
After hearing him cough a few more times, Harukawa feels a tang of worry. “Are you ill or do you just usually have a coughing fit after training?”
He shakes his head. “I’m fine, I’ve just got a sore throat. That’s all.”
Seemingly pleased with his response, they continue to watch the night sky in silence. That is, before Harukawa realised that she’s now allowed to head back to her dorm.
Standing up, she wipes the dirt off her hands onto her skirt. “I’m going back to my room.”
“Wait!” Momota reaches his arm out to grab the assassin’s arm. “I wanted to talk to you about something!”
“What?” She replies, snatching her arm back immediately.
“I was wonderin’ if you thought Saihara was actually sick.” He says, standing now.
“What are you talking about?” she disregards. “It’s none of my business.”
He sighs while shaking his head. “I mean, do you think he’s not training because of what happened in the dining hall this morning?”
“Momota, I wasn’t there this morning.” She almost feels like laughing at his stupidity.
“I keep forgetting that you don’t show up in the mornings! You totally should from now on though! I’ll be there!” He says, forgetting about the original topic of conversation.
“No.”
“C’mon, Harumaki!”
“Weren’t you meant to be explaining what happened this morning?” She reminds him.
“Oh yeah!” he smiles, thankful that she remembered what he was going to say. “Basically, Iruma used one of her inventions to see how many people Saihara has slept with and it read one, but when she scanned him three days ago, it read zero. So everyone was guessing who he slept with and he ended up getting overwhelmed so he ran back to the dorms.”
Harukawa couldn’t come up with something to say for a long while. Eventually, she could only mumble a quiet wow.
“He’s likely not sick then. He’s just avoiding extra social interactions.” She assumes.
“That’s what I was thinking!”
Growing impatient, Harukawa turns on her heels to face the dormitory. “Was that all you wanted me for?”
Momota rubs his chin, trying to recall if there was anything else he needed to say. “I think so.”
“I’m heading back to my room then.”
“Night, Harumaki!” He calls out, waving although she has her back turned to him.
As she disappears into the building, Momota figures he should head back too, considering he’s exhausted from all those push-ups.
He steps foot into the area and considers checking in on Saihara. If it was anyone else, he wouldn’t attempt to bother them this late, but since he knows his friend is a bit of an insomniac, he figures it wouldn’t hurt to try.
Instead of running up the metal staircase to his room, Momota stops in front of Saihara’s. He gingerly lifts his fist and knocks on the door, careful not to wake anyone else up.
There’s no response. It’s not like his friend’s the quickest person to get out of bed so Momota waits for a minute. And eventually that minute turns into two.
He knocks again and waits for another minute. Still nothing.
Maybe Saihara’s actually getting a deep sleep tonight? He thinks to himself.
Settling for that answer, Momota turns around and makes his way towards the stairs. He figures he’ll just have to check up on him tomorrow.
As he trucks up the steps, he hears a click to his left. Catching his attention, he rotates to capture the source of the noise.
What he sees is certainly unexpected as he locks eyes with a disheveled Saihara.
It almost looked like he was considering going back into wherever he came out of before Momota approached him with a toothy grin.
“Saihara! I was just at your door!” He says a little too loudly once he stands in front of his friend.
“Uh, yeah sorry.” Saihara replies, looking sheepish.
Still smiling, Momota looks up at the name plate of the dorm Saihara had exited out of. However, his smile vanished, replaced with a bewildered expression.
“Why were you in Ouma’s room?” he quizzes. “I thought you were sick.”
Saihara startles as his face goes red at the question. “Well, I uhm… needed to, uh, get—”
The sound of a door swinging open and a voice cuts off the detective.
“Shumai, what’s all the ruckus about!?” An annoyed, worn-out Ouma appears in the doorway, shirtless.
Once he sees that Saihara isn’t alone, he snaps out of his tired state, eyes going wide. “Momota-chan!?”
Momota stares blankly between the two boys, gaze flickering to Ouma, then Saihara.
Wait, could they be—
As soon as the thought occurs to Momota, his jaw drops and he lets out a jarring gasp.
He jabs a finger at Ouma, still astonished. “Oh my god, it’s you! You’re—! It’s—! You’ve been—!”
Saihara brings his finger over his mouth. “Momota-kun! Shush!”
Ouma swiftly shuts the door on the situation after whispering a mischievous ‘goodluck’ to Saihara.
In an attempt not to wake the entire dormitory, he forces himself and Momota outside the building.
“Momota-kun!” Saihara snaps, interrupting his short, shocked reactions. “Please don’t be mad. I know Ouma’s a boy and I realize some people aren’t comfortable with—”
“What? Saihara, I don’t care if you’re with a she, he, or they. I’m happy for you, really.” He says as he raises a supportive hand on Saihara’s shoulder.
Saihara seems visually taken back by his friend’s words. “But, what about all that stuff you said—or were trying to say—earlier?”
Momota laughs, “I’m just really surprised that the person you’re sleeping with is Ouma! I mean, I think you can do better than him, but that's just me.”
“I thought you might say that.”
The two stand in a comfortable silence for a while, despite the chaos that had occurred not even a minute earlier.
“Please don’t tell anyone about this.” Saihara pleads.
“Pfft! You don’t have to worry about that! I promise, it’s just between us,” Momota pauses. “And Ouma, I guess.”
They chat for a bit longer and eventually decide to head back to their rooms. After the events that have transpired tonight, Momota’s ready to pass out as soon as his head hits the pillow.
As he enters his dorm, Momota only thinks one thing with the newly discovered information fresh in his mind.
Goodluck, Saihara.