Chapter Text
It had all begun with a burp. A tiny one. Barely audible. Unfortunately for Harry and Ron, Hermione noticed everything.
The golden trio sat in the Gryffindor common room on a Wednesday afternoon when classes were finally done for the day. Ron played Wizard chess lazily by himself and Harry was reading an old Quidditch magazine. Meanwhile, Hermione was busy writing notes from her potions textbook when her stomach ached for the third time that week.
At first she ignored it, trying to focus on highlighting a very important section on handling explosive potions. Until a suspicious little burp escaped from her.
Hermione immediately covered her mouth, startled by the sudden noise. Harry noticed her reaction.
“What?”
Hermione blinked. “I think I just… burped.”
“Congratulations.” Ron said, looking deeply unimpressed.
Hermione ignored him completely as her eyes began to narrow thoughtfully.
“That’s strange.”
Harry went back to his reading. “You’ve definitely burped before,” he said bluntly.
“No, I never burp.”
Ron snorted. “That can’t possibly be true.”
“It is,” Hermione said, sitting up straighter. “I have an excellent digestive system.”
Harry lowered his magazine slowly.
“You can’t possibly be proud of that.”
“I am proud of that,” she said with a sharp glare.
Ron set the pieces down, looking personally offended.
“Everyone burps, Hermione.”
“Not randomly.”
Running his hand down his face, Ron tried not to laugh. “You literally just did.”
Then, Hermione went still, a deep thought forming on her face. Harry immediately recognized it. She was giving the look. The dangerous one. The one that led to hours of terrifying research to the point where Fred and George started betting on how long it would take her before the library basically became her new home.
“Oh no.” He muttered under his breath.
Ron looked alarmed. “What?”
Hermione suddenly sat up from the couch and began pacing around the room.
“There are hormonal changes associated with unusual digestive symptoms,” she muttered.
There was a deafening silence. Harry and Ron both blinked in confusion until they shouted: What?!
Hermione suddenly stopped pacing and gasped. “I need to go to the library.”
Ron nearly fell off the sofa laughing.
“Hermione, you burped! You’re not dying!”
Hermione pointed at him accusingly. “I never said I was dying.”
Harry stared at her suspiciously.
“...Then what are you trying to say?”
She hesitated and that seemed to terrify him more than he thought it would.
After a moment, Hermione spoke carefully: “There are documented cases of early magical pregnancy symptoms including nausea, fatigue, heightened magical sensitivity, and digestive irregularities.”
There, of course, was another heavy silence. Ron’s jaw fell to the floor and Harry froze like his soul left his body. Everyone else in the room was left stunned.
“Are you saying you’re… pregnant?” Harry said.
Hermione suddenly became defensive, crossing her arms.
“I’m simply acknowledging the possibilities.”
“A burp does not mean you’re pregnant, Hermione,” Ron wheezed into the couch pillow.
“It was unusual.”
Harry stared at her in complete disbelief.
“Loads of things cause burping.”
“Yes, but combined with recent fatigue–”
“You stayed up until 3 AM revising your notes!”
“That’s unrelated. A-And explain the nausea!”
“You ate expired pudding!”
Hermione gasped dramatically. “It was only slightly expired.”
Ron turned bright red with laughter.
Harry rubbed both hands over his face.
“Hermione, I love you, but I really think you’re overthinking this.”
“I’m not overthinking this,” she said firmly, though her voice sounded slightly softer now. “The point is magical pregnancies can present symptoms very early.”
“You’ve had one symptom,” Harry argued weakly.
Hermione folded her arms.
“And increased appetite.”
Ron looked scandalized.
“You ate two biscuits!”
“That’s more than usual.”
“Hermione,” Harry said carefully, “I watched you eat half my chips yesterday.”
“You offered me those.”
Another thoughtful expression crossed Hermione’s face suddenly.
“Oh dear.”
Harry felt immediate dread. “What now?”
“I cried during Charms earlier.”
Ron blinked.
“You yelled at Seamus for breathing too loudly.”
“Yes, and afterward I felt emotional about it.”
Harry stared.
Ron stared harder.
Hermione gasped suddenly.
“And my sense of smell has been odd.”
“Hermione,” Harry said slowly, “you are describing being a human being.”
She pointed at him accusingly.
“You’re not taking this seriously.”
“Because this is insane!”
“I’m being logical.”
“You think you’re pregnant because you burped!”
Hermione looked deeply offended by his tone.
“Honestly, Harry, I expected more maturity from you.”
Ron made a sound suspiciously close to dying.
Hermione grabbed her bag and began to walk towards the door.
“Where are you going?” Harry asked, starting to get worried.
“I’m going to the library.”
“Hermione—”
“I need medical texts.”
“Hermione!”
But she was already marching toward the portrait hole with terrifying determination.
Harry watched her leave helplessly and muttered to himself: “She’s absolutely overreacting.”