Chapter Text
You took solace in the sun. The breeze flowing softly that calmed you in a way nothing else could. It almost made you forget that you had 8 unwanted roommates.
Almost.
The pain in your ankle was a constant reminder of it.
Distantly, you were aware that Diavolo was freaking out about a bee that was buzzing near him as Doppio was trying to calm him down. Dio was complaining about the nature and Pucchi was trying to accommodate him. While also holding an umbrella to make sure his master didn't combust into flames. You were also vaguely aware that Kira and Hol Horse were walking along side you. They were also probably trying to ignore the cacophony of weirdos behind you.
How the hand fetishist, and cowboy were the most normal out of the group, you had no clue.
You let out a small groan, placing your head in the palms of you hands. "There is no reason for them to be complaining this much on an outing.
"I told ya you shouldn't bring them," Hol Horse stated rather blankly.
You placed your hands on your hips, an expression of wonder on your face. "Really?! As If I didn't know either??" Your face fell into a scowl. "Kars was getting real annoyed at them. I couldn't exactly say no to him." You shuddered, remembering just how intimating he is.
Kira let out a small hum, possibly in agreement. In that moment, the pink haired man fell to the ground, tumbled into a drain and didn't move. "Oh. Seems Diavolo had died. Well, nothing of value was lost." The businessman shrugged in indifference as Doppio began to panic.
The fucker was like William Afton. Or Kagamine Len. He'd die and always come back.
You let out another small sigh, thinking back to the night everything had changed for you.
It was about a month ago...
You woke up to an awful sound. It was like between a cat dying and a loud thud. It was probably those damned foxes rummaging through your bins. Grumbling angrily you grabbed the baseball bat you kept underneath your bed. It was only then you realised how thirsty you were. Welp. A glass of water wouldn't hurt before you scared off those pesky foxes.
Stomping your way downstairs you entered into the kitchen only to stop dead in your tracks.
There. Right in front of you was an almost naked, bulky man. You stood there, like a deer frozen in headlights. As your eyes adjusted to the darkness of the area you noticed... more. More individuals in your kitchen.
"Oh fuh naw." Was the only words you could utter before you bolted for the front door. In your haste you had dropped your bat, leaving it clatter as it contacted with the ground.
You had made it quite far out of the house before you heard a "ZA WARUDO" and you collided with a large body. Almost immediately the impact knocked the wind out of your lungs and made you ricochet. You fell onto the ground at a weird angle, falling on your left leg. How you managed that, you had no clue. Immediately recovering you were fully ready to fight before you blanched.
Right there. In front of you, the moonlight creating a perfect backdrop was "DIO FUCKING BRANDO?!" You yelled, in complete and utter shock.
The British vampire let out an amused chuckle. "Ah, so you are aware of me?" His eyes crinkled in amusement.
Yeah, no. Not even the best cosplayer could replicate him perfectly. This was the real fucking thing.
"Nope, nuh-uh. I'm too young to deal with this." You immediately tried to stand up only to fall back to the ground. It was only then you could see and feel the warm pool of blood escaping from your ankle. And the pain. HAD HE FUCKING DAMAGED YOUR ACHILLES TENDON?! The World was too strong.
"Lord Dio!" You heard a distinct voice call out. Pucchi. That fucker! You immediately glared when you saw the priest run out to assist his... to be honest you didn't understand the relationship between Dio and Pucchi but Dio needed a friend he had full trust in, so friend.
"Ah Pucchi," Dio's voice was warm in a way that completely unnerved you. Good to know his weird androgynous rizz didn't affect you. Red glistening eyes pinned you down. "I believe you were going to explain how you know of me and how we got here. After all, it would be quite rude if you didn't.
You let out a slight noise that was between a growl and a snark. "I'm aware of you but I certainly don't know how you got here. Frankly, I don't want to know how you got into my house. After all, it is quite rude that you broke into it."
Pucchi was stunned before he let out something akin to a snarl. "How dare you talk to Lord Dio-" you can only assume he summoned Whitesnake because you felt pressure on your cheek and you blacked out.
When you woke up you were on the couch. You could hear the soft ticking of the clock on the mantlepiece. Your eyes slowly drifted across the living room. It seemed like nobody was there. You let out a deep sigh. You had probably just dreamt of the JoJo villains breaking into your house. God knows you had worse dreams.
"Ah. You're up." Pucchi's voice practically echoed throughout the living room.
So. Not a dream, nor hallucination. You felt sick.
"I must say I've never had someone be unconscious for twelve hours after I removed their DISC. Not to mention you don't have a Stand DISC, so we can rule out you being the reason we were all summoned here." He spoke as he... had a washcloth, bandages and tub in his hands. He examined your ankle before he started to remove the wounds. "It's interesting. Technically, we're all fictional characters to you," Ah. He found out about that. "Yet what we went through is very much real. That much is true."
"Question." You stared at him. "Is this before or after you obtained Made In Heaven? Because you used Whitesnake on me."
"After." He spoke clearly. "I clearly remember Weather Report killing me when suddenly I was here. Alive, unharmed."
You let out a small hum, watching the priest take car of your injury. "And where exactly is... everyone else?"
"Well, Kira has gone outside. The man known as Kars has taken up residence in your attic. Diavolo and Doppio are... somewhere. Hol Horse is actually in the kitchen and Lord Dio is in the basement."
"I don't have a basement."
"You do now."
You let out a tired groan. "I'm guessing you aren't leaving anytime soon?"
He shook his head. "No. As far as we are concerned you are the only person who knows of our existence and can help us navigate this unfamiliar world."
You could only stare at him, silently mourning your bank account. Actually, speaking of your bank account... "Shit! What time is it?"
"Nine in the morning?"
"Fuck! I'm late for work!" You lept up, wincing as you felt your entire leg hurt. You let out a verity of curses at the pain.
"You... have an occupation?" Pucchi questioned as you tried to steady yourself.
"I do." You hissed out as you limped, trying to not aggravate your injured leg. "And frankly, I would like to keep it."
Coming back to reality you saw Diavolo wake up once again. You couldn't help but have some slight pity towards the former mafia boss. Almost. It was very minimal, but he did often look like a sad, sopping wet cat after he died and GER flung his soul back into his body. It was actually pretty sad watching him get constantly killed an revived but it couldn't be helped. You chose to continue walking, trying your best to complete your walk before your ice cream store closed for the day. It was a nice reward, and you deserved it for dealing with the parasites.