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Yuuji was really happy that movie nights had become a staple. No matter what happened, they had their weekly appointment to unwind.
Him and Fushiguro, that is. Sometimes Kugisaki liked to tag along, but it mostly depended on the movie they were watching, she could be really selective. Megumi, on the other hand, never turned down Yuuji's proposals. Sure, he could give him an occasional eye roll when Yuuji picked a rom-com, but then he sat through it anyway. It hadn't been the case when Yuuji's choice had fallen on The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, but he hadn't looked ecstatic either.
Still, they were now sitting on Fushiguro's bed, Megumi balanced the laptop on his legs and Yuuji paused the movie from time to time, making sure he wasn't missing any key points of the plot.
"There are many kisses for an action movie," Megumi flatly pointed out.
"I told you, it's not just an action movie, romance has its relevance."
Yuuji had to restrain himself from giving a detailed explanation about how the kiss in the beach scene was trivial in Katniss and Peeta's relationship, since he feared it might completely fly over Fushiguro's head.
Megumi scoffed.
"Whatever."
Yuuji wasn't buying that. Nobody could be so indifferent towards love, no matter how distant or nonchalant they tried to act. And Yuuji knew Fushiguro could be very chalant. Meaning, he cared very deeply about those he loved, he just had his own way to show it.
Yuuji found himself wondering if Megumi would act the same way with someone he loved romantically. If he would somehow keep the distance or shower them with attention.
Didn't know where that thought came from, but Yuuji's mind was already racing to the next one.
Had Fushiguro ever had a crush? Yuuji could imagine other people crushing on him left and right, given that he was a handsome guy and the smartest person he knew, but the other way round? He couldn't say for sure.
Maybe growing up a sorcerer forced him to focus on other things from a young age and demanded all those carefree youthful experiences in return.
Yuuji looked at him.
He tried to sit straight, his back supported by a couple of pillows, his hair fell in unruly strands over his forehead and his eyes were trained on the screen, a blue-ish hue glowing on his face.
He looked normal, like an average teenager, but what else had he missed out? Had Megumi ever kissed someone?
Okay, pause. Why was he thinking about Fushiguro kissing people, when he had Jennifer Lawrence right on his screen?
And, most of all, why was the thought of Fushiguro kissing someone unknown making him feel uneasy?
No, that couldn't be. It must have been something he ate for dinner that was making his stomach act up.
He tried to go back to the movie and let go of the hypothesis on Fushiguro's love life, but somehow the thought kept itching his brain. He wanted to know more.
Even if he had kissed someone, it was okay. Good for him. Yuuji had kissed someone too, back when he was still in high school. Sure, it was prompted by one of those silly games, but that didn't take away the fact that it still happened.
"Have you ever kissed anyone, Fushiguro?"
His brain ultimately highjacked his mouth and the words rolled out of his tongue before he could stop them.
Megumi tensed up, the laptop almost falling off his legs, and Yuuji could swear his eyes were seconds away from jumping out of their sockets.
"What?"
"Nothing, forget I asked."
He slumped deeper into the pillows, wishing they could swallow him whole in that very moment. He felt bad for having caused such a reaction, he never meant to make his friend feel uncomfortable. But he was oddly fascinated by how easy it was to get lost in thought fantasizing about his love life. There were so many questions he wanted to ask Fushiguro, out of curiosity of course, but he didn't want to overstep his boundaries.
He needed to get his priorities straight, forget about all that, and-
"No," Megumi cleared his throat, putting the laptop back in place. "Keep talking."
A green light. Forget about priorities, that was all Yuuji could wish for.
"Well," he shifted on the bed, turning to face him.
"I was just wondering, since living as a sorcerer can be quite hectic, and you've been doing this for a while, I guess it's not easy to fit the ordinary teenage experience into all that."
"The what?"
"The ordinary teenage experience. I had my share before coming here and I just wanted to make sure you weren't missing that out."
"I'm fine, thanks."
Yuuji groaned, throwing back his head. "Come on, Fushiguro."
"What do you want me to say? Getting non-sorcerers involved is off the table and your fellow sorcerers could die in their next mission. What's the point?"
Damn. That went pretty dark pretty soon.
"You're not wrong. But you can either think like that or seize the day."
Megumi kept his head low, plucking loose threads from the hem of his shirt.
Yuuji shifted closer without thinking.
"I mean, we shouldn't feel guilty for wanting what's normal for everybody else."
That made his head shot up. When he turned to look at him, his eyes were wider and twinkled with something Yuuji couldn't quite pinpoint.
"Right."
Yuuji smiled at him, and for some reason he found himself wanting to reach for him. To hug him. Maybe because they just shared a moment.
He pushed that feeling away and leaned back against the headboard, his hands suddenly unable to stay still. He promptly shoved them into his pockets before Megumi could notice.
"So..."
"Itadori."
"The ordinary teenage experience."
Megumi sighed.
"What about the movie?"
Yuuji pressed pause. "We'll pick up from where we left next time." He then proceeded to shut the laptop and put it on the ground.
"Now, if the kissing question was too direct, we can start with something easier. Like-"
"No." Megumi cut him off. "It just never happened."
Oh. Good.
Wait, why was Yuuji smiling to himself? Was he... relieved?
"Maybe having someone you actually want to kiss, like a crush, would make things easier."
Megumi sighed again. He looked so done.
"Itadori, I really don't care whether it happens or not. Unless it's-" He bit on his lip, looking like he had just stopped a though mid-sentence, his cheeks darkening quickly.
"Don't tell me, there is actually someone?" Yuuji smirked, pretending he didn't notice how his voice had sharpened slightly.
"You are pretty inquisitive today," Megumi muttered under his breath.
"You can say I put the pretty in pretty inquisitive," Yuuji said smugly.
Was it weird that he had just indirectly made Fushiguro call him pretty? Right when the ghost of his crush was summoned? Judging by his frown, he could mark down yes as the answer.
"Sorry," Yuuji smiled apologetically. "I just want to help."
Then an idea flashed through his mind. Equal parts crazy and genius, like all his best ideas.
"You should kiss me."
"What?!"
He could swear Megumi's voice had just climbed up an octave.
"Just for practice, so when the time comes with your crush you know how to make it feel special," Yuuji explained.
"That's insane."
No, that was a Twice song. Yuuji knew that, he had it on his playlist, could do the fanchant and everything. But that wasn't the point.
"No, it makes sense."
Megumi crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow to him, clearly waiting to be enlightened.
"Listen, first kisses are always a little awkward. You're just going to waste all that awkwardness on me, so your crush will never know how terrible you actually were."
Megumi smacked him on the back of his neck.
"I told you, I just want to help!" Yuuji protested.
"Seeing how I've already kissed someone once, I can give you tips."
Megumi looked uncertain as he gnawed again on his lip.
"But... if we kissed now, wouldn't that make you my first kiss?"
"Nah, it's just practice. And we're friends, so it doesn't really matter," Yuuji said, waving dismissively.
It was a selfless act, purely dictated by the kindness of his heart. He wanted to help a friend, there was no reason to make things awkward.
Megumi averted his gaze, dropping back into the pillows.
"I don't think it's going to work."
"It is! If you add a great kiss to your quiet charm, your big brain and your magnetic eyes with those thick pretty lashes of yours, your crush will have to fall at your feet! Do you trust me?"
Wait, where that came from?
Megumi raised his brows at him, a faint shade of pink dusting his cheeks. It lasted only a few seconds, but Yuuji was sure it was there. How unusual for Fushiguro.
Then he exhaled loudly, shaking his head.
"What the hell. Sure."
He shifted on the bed, sitting cross-legged in front of Yuuji, who clapped his hands before quickly assuming the same position.
"I still don't understand how your input is going to be helpful, though. Haven't you admitted to only having kissed someone once?"
Yuuji's jaw slacked open. He was flabbergasted.
"It's not a matter of how many, it's a matter of how they're done. And, on top of that, I watched a lot of movies where they're done incredibly good. You'll see!"
Megumi leaned forward, his knees brushing against Yuuji's.
"Care to demonstrate?"
Yuuji suddenly felt aware of the space between the two of them. Or, better yet, the unusual lack of it. The thought of getting even closer to Megumi made him strangely dizzy. But he had a job to get done, he couldn't disappoint his friend.
"Yeah. Uhm, so..."
He grabbed Fushiguro by his forearms and placed his hands on his shoulders.
"You should initiate contact. With their consent, of course, you want to be respectful. But I have a feeling you're going to be. I mean, I know you are. Just..."
His throat worked. Which was an an odd way to put it, since nothing about him was suddenly functioning the way it should.
"This," he patted Megumi's arms. Had they always been that toned?
"Will help you establish a connection between the two of you. It can be anything, really. Brush hair away from their face, cup their cheek..."
He started to picture Megumi doing that to him and his throat went even dryer.
His gaze dropped to Megumi's lips. He never noticed how they were bottom heavy. And that they looked incredibly smooth.
The room started to feel insanely hot, there must have been some problem with the ac. He made a mental note to signal that to professor Gojo.
Fushiguro needed his help, he needed to focus. Yuuji cleared his throat.
"Just don't keep them still at your sides, it'll look weird."
Megumi adjusted his position, bringing his hands closer to Yuuji's neck. He felt the warmth of his fingers cupping his nape over his sweatshirt and his breath hitched in his chest.
What was happening to him?
"Then what?"
He gulped.
"Then you start getting closer. You lean in," he instructed, his heart beating faster.
"Do I have to lower my voice too?"
It sounded like a genuine question, but the sly glint in Megumi's eyes made it almost look like he was... teasing him?
Yuuji didn't realize he was doing that. Talking in a lower tone, that is.
"It's not... necessary. No, not really."
And now he was stuttering. And he also felt strangely out of breath. He needed to have a word with his brain, because what was that? Malfunctioning in the middle of something important was definitely not cool.
"What's next?" Megumi asked, his face so close Yuuji could now feel his breath tickling hot on his lips.
"The kiss. You go for it," Yuuji whispered.
He didn't expect Megumi to oblige right away, lounging forward and pressing hard his lips against his own. Surprise, that must be the reason why he felt his stomach tangle.
Yuuji gently pushed him away.
"Wait, not like this," he chuckled.
"More like..."
The words died on his lips as he tilted his head to the side, watching Megumi do the same. Before he could think about what he was doing, Yuuji reached out and stroked his cheek. He noticed Megumi's blue eyes grow wider, then he leaned in and closed again the distance between them.
Megumi's lips were smooth indeed. And soft. He didn't know why it was important, but Yuuji couldn't grasp that the first time they kissed, because Megumi was pressing them together pretty harshly. Now they were parting and moving alongside Yuuji's, following his lead, leaving him mesmerized by how quickly he adjusted to the rythm, his fingers steadily cupping his nape. It was a bit too teethy at times, but Yuuji still felt like he could die in that moment.
What an odd thing. They were friends, best friends who were unexpectedly kissing, but nevertheless he shouldn't feel-
Megumi sucked on his bottom lip and his thoughts, his questions and all those new feelings he was struggling to understand momentarily came to an halt. He could only think about him.
His Megumi. Just Megumi. Fushiguro.
Something rooted in the deep pit of his stomach began to grow, slow and steady, taking up all the space inside him until it bloomed right in his chest.
He would have never imagined that kissing Fushiguro would feel so ecstatic.
He pulled him closer and kissed him more, eager, until they both ran out of breath.
That was no ordinary practice. It was more like the last practice before a huge sporting event that could potentially change the trajectory of your life. Not that he was an expert on the matter, but he had consumed a fair share of media about it.
When they parted, Yuuji couldn't bring himself to open his eyes right away. He wanted to linger in that moment a little bit longer, before his thoughts could come crashing back about what it meant.
When he finally opened his eyes, he found Megumi slowly blinking at him, and it made his heart leap in his chest. He felt insanely dizzy.
"This." He breathed, still inches away from Megumi's face. He had to fight against the pull that was drawing him again towards his best friend. That was crazy. Why would he want to kiss Megumi again?
He didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to do now, his thoughts speed racing one another in his head.
What was happening to him?
They usually sat comfortably in silence, but now he could feel it grow thin and stretch out between them like a rubber band about to break.
"Thanks. It wasn't..." Megumi paused, as if to search for the right words. He was always so keen and precise, Yuuji wouldn't expect any less of him.
"That awkward," he concluded.
He was right. Kissing him felt right, not awkward at all. And Yuuji was trying not to have an existential crisis right then and there about it, unsuccessfully.
"Anytime! Not that we have to repeat it. Unless you want to, of course." Yuuji laughed hysterically.
"But I don't know if that would be ideal, especially if your crush comes into the picture. I don't think they'd be too pleased knowing you're kissing another guy."
The knot in his stomach tightened. His jaw did too. He really wasn't a fan of this mysterious someone.
"Itadori, are you okay?"
Megumi cocked his head, a thin line wrinkling his forehead. He looked so pretty with his hair ruffled. And his lips... They were parted and looked swollen and Yuuji desperately wanted to kiss them again.
"Yeah, I'm very okay. Absolutely, one hundred percent," he lied. Oh, the existential crisis was definitely winning.
"I'm just... tired, I suppose? I should go to sleep now."
He launched himself off the bed, quickly put on his shoes and headed towards the door, before any other brilliant ideas could occur.
"Goodnight, Fushiguro."
Megumi's puzzled expression was the last thing he saw before exiting the room.
Yuuji closed the door behind him and slumped against it, clutching his chest, his heart threatening to jump out at any given minute.
So many thoughts were flooding his brain and he didn't know where to start to unravel all of them.
Later that night, as he laid in bed staring at the ceiling, a sudden realization dawned on him, shocking him to his core.
He knew why he felt that knot twist his stomach whenever Fushiguro's crush was mentioned.
He didn't want Fushiguro to kiss anybody like that. Anybody but him.
He could toss and turn all he wanted, but nothing could stop the heat wave taking over his body everytime that kiss flashed through his mind.
He thought nothing would come out of it, it started as an innocent offer, and he certainly never expected for it to turn his world upside down.
Because the only thing that could explain all that inner turmoil, all those thoughts and doubts and concerns, was to admit that he had feelings for Fushiguro. Romantic feelings.
It was scary and soothing at the same time, to name things.
He had feelings for Fushiguro. For Megumi. And he definitely didn't want him to have a crush on someone else.
He needed to do something about it. ASAP.
Yuuji needed help.
"I have a question."
Yuuji dragged the chair across the floor, bringing it close to where Nobara was sitting, and slumped on it.
A week had passed and he had managed to do absolutely nothing. He still didn't know who Megumi was crushing on, if they had somehow gotten together, and how to hide his newfound feelings towards him.
He didn't know how long he could go without Megumi noticing he could now hold eye contact for a grand total of three seconds and a half (Yuuji timed it once) before his face started to catch fire (he would have appreciated the irony, if he wasn't trying to navigate an existential crisis on the daily).
Truth is, he didn't know how to act normal around him anymore, because everytime they were together all Yuuji could think about was kiss him again. And he wasn't quite sure that was what his best friend wanted.
He even had to come up with an excuse to skip that week's movie night, because he didn't know if he could sit still beside him for two hours without his body betraying him, giving away how nervous that proximity made him feel.
Getting by the whole ordinary teenage experience was way harder than he thought.
That's why he turned to Kugisaki. She either had the answers he was looking for, or she could give him the brutally honest advice he needed. He asked her to talk after class, and had to promise he'd carry all her bags on her next shopping spree, but he was sure it was worth it.
"Please, don't hold back."
Yuuji pretended he couldn't hear the sarcasm in her voice.
"Theoretically speaking, what would you do if you realized you have feelings for your best friend after you kissed them?"
She dropped the magazine she was lazily flipping through.
"You what?"
"Theoretically speaking."
Nobara rolled her eyes.
"Sure. Did something happen between you and Fushiguro?"
Yuuji was stunned. How could she had already figured it out?
"I didn't even say his name!"
"I know, it was a hard guess. Also, you can literally cut the tension with a knife everytime the two of you are in the same room. Especially in the last few days. And you both look physically sick whenever the other's not around."
She was really good indeed.
"Wow, you are incredibly perceptive, Kugisaki."
"Too much for my own good, apparently. So," she clapped her hands on the desk, finally ready to give him her full attention. "How did that go? He finally stopped pining after you or-"
"What are you talking about?"
Yuuji had to cut in, because that last sentence was a bit confusing. What did she meant by stopped pining after him? Why would Megumi pine after him out of all people, when he already had his hands full with his crush?
Well, at least not literally, he hoped.
"Just tell me what happened."
He would realize later how her deflection was clear as the sun in the sky, but in that moment he couldn't bring himself to go against her.
He sat there, feeling like something big was floating around, flying just out of reach everytime he tried to catch it.
"Itadori, I don't have the whole day. I have things to do and places to be."
"Right, sorry," he quickly apologized.
"Well, it's not what you think. Or maybe it is, I don't know. Anyways, we were watching a movie and the main leads kissed, and that's how the topic arised, so I asked him if he needed to practice and he said yes, so-"
"Oh, I'm sure," Nobara grinned wickedly.
"Why are you making that face?"
"No reason. Go on."
Again, that feeling of missing just one little puzzle piece to get the grand scheme of things. Yuuji pushed it to the side and did as she said.
"So I offered to share my knowledge on the matter. You know, so when he and his crush get to it, he's prepared." His stomach flipped again, he was now getting used to it. The thought alone of Megumi kissing some other guy made his skin itch.
"How thoughtful."
He couldn't tell if Kugisaki was being sarcastic or not.
"But then we kissed and boom!" Yuuji mimicked an explosion with his fingers, bringing them near his temples.
"Everything changed! I started to feel all this things inside, and not only because the kiss was good. Let me tell you, he was particularly skilled for a first timer, he did this thing that-"
"I don't need to know all the details, Itadori."
"Right, sorry. Got carried away." Yuuji scratched the back of his neck.
"Now I think I have feelings for him. I don't know, maybe they were always there and now I just realized what they are and what to call them," he confessed. He suddenly felt lighter, like a huge load had been lifted off his chest. What a relief was to say that out loud.
"That's good. Better late than never." Nobara shot him an encouraging smile. It looked genuine.
"Yeah," Yuuji laughed bitterly. "But I think I might be too late. He already has a crush on someone else."
"That's impossible." Kugisaki cut short.
"Why would you say that? Just because he isn't very communicative about his feelings, doesn't mean that he can't have a crush."
"That's not-" Nobara exhaled loudly. She looked exhausted.
"Let's just say I wouldn't worry too much about a third person being involved, if you know what I mean."
"I don't, actually."
Nobara tilted her head back, groaning in frustration.
"Look, you should talk to him. It's the best thing. For everybody."
"But-"
"No buts, you asked for my help, now you make it work. Oh, and do it fast, because if I have to sit through another day of you two pathetically yearning for each other, I will genuinely combust."
She gathered her things and got up, patting his back on her way out.
"Good luck."
The next step to solve all his ordinary teenage problems (and avoid Kugisaki's wrath) was to talk to Fushiguro.
He stood outside his door, unable to raise his hand and knock.
Yuuji knew it was the right thing to do, he couldn't keep up with whatever was going on between them, especially because since the kiss Megumi had been more distant, and that only made Yuuji more of an emotional mess.
He missed just being able to hang with him. It didn't matter how big and messy his crush for him was, Megumi was still his best friend, and Yuuji couldn't bear the thought of potentially losing him over something he initiated himself.
He took a deep breath. What really mattered now was to be honest. And hope for the best.
Yuuji was finally about to knock, when Megumi's door flung open.
"Itadori?"
Megumi stood in the doorway in his gym attire, a grey t-shirt over black sweatpants, the afternoon sun poking through his window, casting a warm halo around him.
His sight alone almost took Yuuji's breath away.
"Hi. Do you have a minute?"
"I'm supposed to meet with the second-years for training, but..."
Megumi scratched his head uncertain.
"Come in." He moved aside to let Yuuji through.
Megumi's room was clean and tidy as usual, Yuuji could definitely learn a thing or two from him.
His gaze landed on the bed, and he was immediately teleported back to that night. To the kiss.
Heat started crawling on his neck, spreading across his face and reaching up to the tip of his ears. No matter how hard he tried to push it to the side, the thought kept popping into his head. Each time more vivid and... detailed.
"I thought you wanted to talk."
Right. Talking. That was what he was there for.
But he didn't prepare a speech. Oh god, he should have prepared a speech, because when he panicked he tended to ramble, and that only led to more confusion, when all they needed was clarity, and-
"Itadori, you're walking in circles. Are you sure you're okay?"
He didn't even noticed his body had began to move, but now Megumi had his hands outstretched towards him, his brow furrowed in concern, like he was ready to catch him. Then his fingers curled slowly towards his palms as he lowered his fists down to his sides, right when Yuuji forced himself to stop.
"I'm sorry, Fushiguro. And no, I'm not," he admitted.
"I just have so many things I want to say and I don't know where to start."
Megumi's gaze softened.
"Maybe try from the beginning."
The beginning. Right.
He took a deep breath, trying to let out all the nerves on the exhale.
"The other night, when we, you know, kissed..." the last word came out half-choked against his will.
Megumi's breath hitched, his face flushing.
"I felt something. Something special that I've never felt for anybody else before, so it kinda freaked me out at first. And also later on, because it made me realize why I was getting so jealous about your crush and it blew my brain out, leaving nothing inside to process all that. Some may argue that it shouldn't make a huge difference, since it's how it normally is. My brain, I mean. But I'm getting off track," he chuckled nervously.
"The point is that I like you, Fushiguro. Like, a lot. More than a best friend should, anyway. And by saying this I don't mean to get in the way of you and your boyfriend-"
"Itadori."
"Or girlfriend! That's okay too, I shouldn't have assumed it's a guy, I guess it was just wishful thinking 'cause I may have been projecting and..."
"Itadori."
Megumi reached for his hand, his slender fingers curling around his wrist. He was cold. Yuuji couldn't quite grasp how Megumi could be freezing cold at any given time, even in full blooming spring. His touch pulled him away from his growing spiral of thoughts, bringing him back to the ground.
"Yes?"
"It's you."
Yuuji blinked at him.
"What?"
He wasn't sure he heard it right. Or maybe there was some sort of misunderstanding, because otherwise that would mean...
"It's you. It has always been you, all this time."
Megumi intertwined their fingers, giving his hand a little squeeze, and Yuuji felt so happy he could cry. The puzzle piece, the one he needed to get the grand scheme of things, finally clicked into place.
"What do you mean?" He already knew it in his heart, but he still needed to ask. He needed to be sure.
Megumi sighed, but the corners of his mouth curved upwards into a smile.
"There is no one else. I only have feelings for you. But I wasn't sure I could allow myself to let them out, not until you said that..."
Megumi bit his lip, averting his gaze.
Yuuji reached out and cupped his face, inching closer, making their eyes meet again.
"That I like you?"
Megumi nodded, his cheeks flushing red. He looked so cute when he was embarrassed.
Then he grabbed Yuuji's hand and nuzzled gently into it, keeping his eyes shut. Yuuji was sure his heart melt right then and there.
"We shouldn't feel guilty for wanting what's normal, right?" Megumi asked, his voice low and warm.
"Yep. That's part of the ordinary-"
"The ordinary teenage experience, I know."
Yuuji smiled. A smile so big and bright that lit his whole world from within.
"Fushiguro, I'm so happy I could literally kiss you right now."
"Good thing someone gave me tips on that, so it's not going to be awkward," Megumi smirked.
"Really?" Yuuji played along, pretending not to know what he was talking about.
Megumi nodded, his eyes never parting from Yuuji's, then he took his hands and placed them on his waist.
"Don't keep them still at your sides, it'll look weird," he said, his voice a whisper as he slided his arms around Yuuji's neck.
Yuuji smiled, pulling him closer.
"Then what?" He leaned in, all up in Megumi's face.
"Then you go for it."
He grabbed the front of his hoodie and pulled him in for a kiss. Yuuji's brain turned mushy again, like the first time they kissed.
Yuuji kissed him and kissed him and kissed him again, until he felt lightheaded and his lungs burned, melting into it as the world around them swirled away. And he was sure there was nothing ordinary in that, because it was the closest he'd come to his heart exploding.