Archive of Our Own

Gokudera turned his spare key in the lock and quietly slid Hibari’s door open.

He still wasn’t sure what had compelled him to do this – he knew it was a bad idea the second he thought of it. But he had to do something. He couldn’t focus at all on his training for the fight against the real Six Funeral Wreaths, his brain instead returning over and over again to Hibari, the future one, the one that loved—

He flinched away from the thought. Even though he’d thought it over and accepted it—sort of—he still couldn’t wrap his head around it. How could they live together? How could Hibari feel something like that for him? How could he feel something like that for Hibari?

Eventually, he’d decided that he needed to see it for himself, to put his mind at ease. Hibari had already swapped with his younger self, so he didn’t have to worry about him being there, looking at him so warmly that it made Gokudera flush from head to toe…

But there was still the risk that the younger Hibari would be there, so Gokudera cautiously poked his head into the house, glancing around the living room. When he saw that it was empty, he stepped into the room, shut the door behind him, and started to investigate.

There was nothing immediately obvious in the living room. It was almost completely devoid of furniture, for one thing, and there weren’t any pictures on display. But as he looked closer, he started to notice unsettling details: the fancy ash tray sitting on top of one of the low dressers that couldn’t possibly belong to someone who didn’t smoke. The coffee machine, clearly used, on the counter that couldn’t possibly belong to someone who only drank tea. The two pillows laid out on the floor, so close together that it made Gokudera blush just looking at them. The litter box in the hallway closet; the cat tower in the corner next to the full-length window; the cat bed alongside a small writing desk that had papers with very familiar handwriting on it.

This was clearly Gokudera’s space, carved out and allowed to fit within Hibari’s.

For a moment, Gokudera just stood there in the middle of the room, overwhelmed with emotion. This house, this home was really his…?

He started to explore the rest of the house, desperate to find something, anything, that proved this was all an elaborate prank. But every room only supported the increasingly inescapable fact that he and Hibari lived together. And when he slid the door open to the last room, and saw what was inside, his breath strangled in his throat.

Taking up the entirety of the room was a piano. But not just any piano – it was his mother’s piano, he was sure of it. He’d recognize it anywhere.

He took a shaky step towards it and then collapsed onto the bench, running his fingers gently down the keys. He’d left this piano behind at his father’s house – it was the one thing he regretted leaving. But of course it wasn’t practical for an eight-year-old to take a piano with him while running away from home. He had resigned himself to never seeing it, or playing it, again.

So what was it doing here, in Hibari’s house?

That, more than anything else he’d seen or heard, convinced Gokudera that his future self really did live here. This piano wouldn’t be here if he didn’t.

But the how still eluded him – how had his mother’s piano ended up here? Did his future self bring it here? And how had he and Hibari even gotten to this point, where Hibari was okay with and made space for him to live here with him? In a house so solidly Hibari’s, it was hard to believe that something like this, a room just for Gokudera, even existed.

But it did.

Gokudera looked up from the keys and realized he’d somehow missed an entire collection of framed photos sitting on top of the piano. Seeing them felt like a punch to the face: they were of warmth, they were of family. There was a Vongola Family shot, with everyone Gokudera knew and cared for and even some people he didn’t recognize, laughing at the camera. Another photo showed Gokudera, the Tenth, Yamamoto, Kyouko, and Hana graduating from what looked like high school. There was one of Hibari and Kusakabe, Kusakabe holding a college degree in his hand while Hibari looked at him with pride. There was one of Gokudera and Hibari sitting in their living room with I-Pin and Lambo in the foreground. I-Pin was grinning and holding up a bowl of ramen, Lambo was stretching out his cheeks and blowing a raspberry, and Gokudera and Hibari watched them, both looking exasperated yet fond.

There were some photos featuring the piano, too: in one, Bianchi sat next to Gokudera, the two of them playing a duet together and actually smiling. Gokudera felt ill, from a different kind of nausea this time, when he realized that Bianchi wasn’t covering her face, and yet his older self wasn’t unconscious. In another, Hibari sat with him on the piano bench, turned sideways so that his back pressed against Gokudera’s arm as he played. Both of their eyes were closed as they got lost in the music together.

The photos that were the hardest to look at, however, were the ones of just him and Hibari. They were so…warm. One was a picture of Gokudera kneeling down in the mud to measure the length of a footprint that looked as if it could belong to Sasquatch, while Hibari was next to him scribbling in a notepad. They looked like they were still in high school. In another, he and Hibari were older, proper adults now, and they were sitting with their backs against a wall, splattered with multi-colored paint like they’d been in a paintball fight. Gokudera was laughing, his smile bright, and Hibari… Hibari was looking at him like there was nothing else in the entire world. It was such a soft picture, and they looked so goddamned happy that it made something uncomfortable squirm around in Gokudera’s stomach. 

The photos held so much love. Gokudera, as he was now, didn’t think he had anyone who loved him that much, and it made him feel so hollow that he could hardly stand it.

But according to the letters Bianchi had given him, his father had loved him, at least. And if he of all people was capable of that, then wasn’t it possible that someone else could be, too?

He averted his gaze, blinking sudden tears from his eyes. He felt like he’d seen something he shouldn’t have. He wasn’t supposed to have this knowledge of a potential future, especially when it seemed like such a good one. If his own future didn’t turn out this way, he could easily see himself thinking about these damn photos, the life that could’ve been, for the rest of time. They would utterly destroy him.

He suddenly regretted coming here. Why had he wanted to know any of this? What had he wanted to see so badly? Was he just curious about this life he’d managed to build for himself, with someone he never would’ve predicted? Had he just wanted proof? He’d been so convinced that what the older Hibari had told him couldn’t possibly be true, but now that he knew it was he felt even worse. Why did he think he could handle knowing this?

He desperately wanted to play the piano – he needed to play. That was the one thing music had always done for him, providing a type of catharsis that little else ever achieved. It was also exactly why he hated playing in front of crowds – he’d never wanted anyone to see him like that, stripped bare and shaking.

Why did he let Hibari see him? his mind whispered, but he pushed the thought away as he glanced at the sheet music on the rack. It was a song that Gokudera had never heard of, something his future self must be trying to learn.

But Gokudera didn’t want to play anything that version of him was playing – he was so beneath who that person was that it felt meaningless.

So he started playing Moonlight Sonata instead, a song that had always resonated deep within him.

The second the music resounded out of the piano, he felt like he’d been sucker-punched in the gut. He gasped, tears building in his eyes again and his hands starting to shake. The piano sounded just like he remembered – just like his mother. All his memories of her came flooding back, her kind smile, the warmth of her hands, the vibrant, rich sound of her playing.

It was like she was still here, sitting on the bench beside him.

He was so overwhelmed by it that it startled him badly when the sliding door next to him suddenly opened. “Hayato-san—?”

He turned to stare with wide eyes at Kusakabe kneeling before him, who looked back at him with just as much surprise. Gokudera couldn’t remember a single time he had even talked to Kusakabe in their normal timeline, so hearing his first name come out of his mouth was decidedly weird.

“Oh, forgive me, Gokudera-kun!” Kusakabe said hurriedly, bowing. “I thought you were… Well, you’re playing the song he always plays for Kyo-san…”

Gokudera just blinked. It took him a long time to pick up on his meaning. “…I play this song? For Hibari?”

This was so much worse than anything else he’d uncovered. Hibari knew everything about him – he knew about his mother, he knew about her piano, he knew about Gokudera’s grief, passion, his very soul. Gokudera hadn’t performed for anyone in years, couldn’t even imagine the thought of it, and yet he regularly played Moonlight Sonata for Hibari?

Kusakabe smiled uncertainly. “Yes, you—”

Just then, the door facing the rest of the house slid open so harshly that it nearly cracked in half as it hit the side jamb. Hibari stood there, the younger one, his eyes blazing with anger and his posture stiff as he growled out, “What are you doing here?”

Gokudera scowled at him, feeling prickly and defensive. There were still tears stuck in his eyes, and he fiercely wiped them away. He knew now that his future self apparently let Hibari see all of this, but hell if he was going to do the same. “Playing the piano. My piano.”

Hibari’s eyes narrowed. “This is my house.”

So he didn’t know yet. Gokudera was pretty damn sure he shouldn’t tell him, just escape while he still could. He started to stand, but his motion drew Hibari’s attention to the photos sitting on top of the piano, the photos that revealed every fucking thing.

For a moment, it was completely silent. Hibari’s face had completely frozen over, his eyes flicking back and forth between Gokudera and the photos, his fists slowly clenching tighter and tighter around his tonfa.

Kusakabe’s hands trembled slightly as he held them up in a placating gesture. “Oh dear… Perhaps I should’ve put those away when Kyo-san—”

Hibari suddenly lunged forward, his arm swinging backwards, his expression murderous. Gokudera didn’t know what the fuck he was even aiming for, but his mother’s piano was right there. He quickly moved to block Hibari’s path, getting a tonfa right in the face. He gasped as pain radiated up his jaw, but he forced himself to move, grabbing Hibari’s collar and shoving him back into the hallway.

“If you break that piano, I’ll fucking kill you,” he snarled, barely even recognizing his own voice. All five of his rings were blazing, the heat of the flames licking at his skin.

Hibari’s eyes narrowed even further, his own ring flaring to life as cloud flames coated his tonfa. He sprang toward him, aiming blow after merciless blow. “Then it shouldn’t be in my house.”

“That’s not up to us,” Gokudera spat, stumbling down the hall toward the living room as he tried to avoid Hibari’s attacks. He needed to get out into open space to have any hope of holding his own against Hibari. “Didn’t you see the photos? Our future selves have a—”

Hibari smacked him so hard that he flew back into the kitchen, slamming against the bar counter. All of his breath left him in a pained gasp as he crumpled to the floor. He was still injured from his fight with Gamma, and his wounds splitting open again was pure agony. He must’ve blacked out for a second, because when he looked up again Hibari was right above him, swinging his arm back and—

Gokudera rolled out of the way just in time, Hibari’s attack landing on the bar counter instead, cracking the granite. The two of them spilled out into the living room, but just as Gokudera was about to shove his ring into his box to open the Sistema C.A.I., Kusakabe suddenly grabbed the backs of their shirts, yanking them apart. “Enough! I know this must be a lot for you to take in, but I can’t allow you to destroy Kyo-san’s and Hayato-san’s home. If you want to fight, do it outside.” 

With that, he dumped them out into the yard in front of the house and slammed the sliding door shut behind them.

Gokudera stared after him in shock, panting hard. He glanced warily at Hibari, but he wasn’t in attack mode anymore, instead just sitting in the grass with his teeth clenched and his eyes burning. Hibird was on the bird feeder dangling from the porch awning, and she chirped a greeting as she fluttered over to nest in Hibari’s hair.

The domesticity of it was decidedly uncomfortable. Gokudera slumped onto his back, putting his arm over his eyes. “…Fuck, this is so strange. I was in the house so I could try to make some sense out of it, but it just… I mean, you and me?”

“…I can’t think of anything more revolting,” Hibari snarled, standing up and stalking off into the woods without another word.

“Same fucking here,” Gokudera grumbled, ignoring a twinge of hurt at Hibari’s words. Why should he fucking care what he thought? They weren’t in a relationship, and Gokudera didn’t want to be just as much as Hibari apparently didn’t.

He thought of the photos, and how fucking happy his future self looked, and groaned.

--

Gokudera tried to forget about what he learned in the future, but even once they got back to the past, he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

It consumed him whenever he wasn’t doing something to distract himself. He didn’t even know why his mind was so stuck on it, but he kept ruminating on the photos and what the older Hibari had said over and over and over again. Maybe he was just trying to find the punchline in it, because it had to be a joke, right? Why would anyone love someone like him, let alone Hibari? Hibari, who desired solitude more than anything else?  

He just couldn’t comprehend it. But he couldn’t deny that the older Hibari had saved him, so many times – he obviously cared for his counterpart quite a bit. Not to mention that they shared such a loving home, a loving life together. Though the younger one had saved him, too – back in the Millefiore base, Gokudera had briefly regained consciousness, just long enough to realize that Hibari was carrying him out while muttering something about owing him a favor. And if that was the case, then was it possible that the younger one also maybe…?

Gokudera shook his head violently to dispel his thoughts. What the hell was he thinking? Hibari had made his feelings about him abundantly clear – and Gokudera didn’t give a rat’s ass about him, either! So there was absolutely no reason to read into anything.

But his mind kept turning it over. Over and over and over again.

He started to avoid Hibari. He just couldn’t deal with the anxiety and confusing storm of emotions that overtook him every time he saw him. Thankfully, it was easy to do because Hibari seemed to be avoiding him, too. Every time Gokudera thought he caught a glimpse of him, there was no one there when he turned to look. He’d even stumbled upon groups of disciplinary committee members, confused looks on their faces and sentences half-finished in their mouths as they looked around for the person they’d been talking to who was suddenly no longer there.

Gokudera almost wanted to ask Hibari why he was avoiding him, but then he’d have to explain why he was, so it was probably for the best if they just never saw each other. Ever. If the Tenth wanted them to work together, then he would, but for now, he was content to never encounter him in any fucking capacity.

And this worked out just fine for the two of them until the twelfth anniversary of the day Gokudera’s mother was killed rolled around. That evening, he was lying in his tiny, cramped bed in his tiny, cramped apartment, immobile with grief, when he realized that the memories of his mother that had seemed so vivid while he was playing her piano in the future were now almost completely out of reach. He couldn’t remember the sound of her voice – he couldn’t remember her smile. He couldn’t remember what she fucking looked like.

All he remembered were her songs. And he couldn’t bear to forget them, too. 

So despite the risks, despite the fact that Hibari would definitely be there, he broke into Nami Middle and made his way up to the third floor music room. Shockingly, he made it there without a single problem, despite the fact that the doors to the front gate had opened like a grand fanfare announcing the arrival of some king.

Maybe he was in luck and Hibari wasn’t here tonight.

As he sat down at the piano, however, he started to have doubts about the whole thing. He thought about that photo from the future, the one where he was playing while Hibari sat next to him, listening. He thought about how Kusakabe had said that he played Moonlight Sonata for Hibari, as if that song didn’t flay him open every single time. Was this how everything had started for them, Gokudera breaking into the music room and pouring out his grief, only for Hibari to show up and take it all in? How could he allow himself to be so vulnerable if that was the case, if he knew that Hibari could come down at any moment and confront him?

…But he needed to play his mother’s songs. It wasn’t about whoever might be listening – it was about her, and the grief that seemed about to consume him every time he breathed.

So he played.

He poured his entire soul into it, tears streaming down his cheeks, his hands shaking so badly that he could barely even play Pavane for a Dead Princess correctly. But he played it, his grief flowing through his fingers, into the piano, and out into the air around him.

And when he finished, he looked up and saw Hibari in the doorway. A pit opened in Gokudera’s stomach as his whole body tensed, but Hibari was just standing there, staring at him, his hands loose around his tonfa. Something seemed off about him – he was almost…fragile.

For a second, Gokudera thought he would leave him be, allow him his grief.

But then Hibari’s face changed, his teeth clenching as icy anger took over. His fists tightened around his tonfa. “Get out.”

Gokudera’s lip curled. He wasn’t done yet. He needed to do this – he needed to remember and honor his mother, and he wasn’t going to let anyone or anything get in his way. He reached for the Vongola box tucked into his belt. “Make me.”

Gokudera ended up in the hospital for a few days after that. During that time, he decided furiously that his future self must be deranged to see anything at all in someone like Hibari fucking Kyouya.

--

After that, they started running into each other constantly, getting in worse and worse fights every time.

Gokudera was still sorely missing his mother, so he continued to sneak into Nami Middle’s music room at night, regardless of what Hibari did to him when he found out. Sometimes he got away with it, and could wallow in his grief in peace, but Hibari caught him most nights. He was always ferociously angry, each beating worse than the last, but there was something else in his manner too, that same fragility that Gokudera had seen the first time.

What was it about Gokudera’s music that affected Hibari so deeply? And was that another reason why he was so adamant about making sure that Gokudera didn’t stick around, so he wouldn’t see him like that?

Had his future self let Gokudera’s future self see it?

Just the thought of it upset him, to the point where he always reacted explosively to Hibari’s anger. Strangely, though, as they continued to fight, Gokudera ended up in the hospital less and less. He must’ve been improving, as he couldn’t imagine Hibari going easy on him. But what was even stranger was that now that he could more or less hold his own, he was starting to find the fights…fun. It was interesting pitting his strength against Hibari’s, testing out new techniques, and learning how to read Hibari’s attacks.

And it almost seemed like Hibari was starting to find them fun, too – he always smiled when Gokudera withstood his attacks, like he found it exciting, before tearing into him with even more vigor.

But that thought was somehow even more unsettling. Fighting an angry Hibari was normal – fighting Hibari for fun was not. And what if this was how their future selves had started out on their relationship, rather than the piano-playing – what if they’d fought each other over and over in frustration until it suddenly became something more? Gokudera didn’t want to be influenced by them, or the lives they’d led, but the anxiety of it was always there in the back of his mind. 

Though it didn’t stop him, either. Instead, he just overthought every word, every fight, every look, all while continuing to sneak into the music room at night and fighting Hibari whenever he ran into him.

Several weeks into this new routine, Gokudera was sitting on the roof of Nami Middle, his notebook on cryptids and the field guide Secrets of the Underground Creature spread out in front of him as he peered through his binoculars. A few days ago, seven new students had transferred to Nami Middle, and one of them was definitely not human. Her bizarre appearance, equipment, and language had all convinced Gokudera that she could only be a UMA, and he had since devoted himself to studying her.

He watched her for a moment and then flipped through Secrets of the Underground Creature. Her baldness, long limbs, and dark sunglasses that hid her eyes—or perhaps lack thereof—perfectly matched descriptions of Crawlers, which was why he believed that she might have come from the depths of the Earth. But no Crawler sightings that he could find mentioned anything like the strange inflatable rings she was currently using to dangle out of a third-story window. He had a theory that she was keeping guard over what she deemed to be her territory, but so far he hadn’t observed anything to support or deny it. 

How did those inflatable rings of hers work, anyway? Gokudera wished he could study them up close, but he had yet to figure out how to communicate with her, and she ran away every time he tried to approach her. Maybe he could try—

The door to the rooftop suddenly banged open, startling him. He glanced over his shoulder, scowling when he saw who was stalking towards him. Just fucking great.

“…What are you doing?” Hibari demanded. He seemed pissed, but that was to be expected – everyone had heard about his ongoing war with Adelheid, another one of the transfer students. Gokudera secretly found it amusing that she had decided to settle into her new school by immediately trying to take over Hibari’s club, of all things, but he wasn’t going to tell him that. He wasn’t in the mood for a fight right now.

“…Studying Shitt P’s behavior,” he said, looking through his binoculars again. It was rare to have an opportunity to study a cryptid in the city, let alone his very own school – he was not going to let Hibari ruin this for him, like he always tried to ruin his chances at playing the piano. “I don’t have time to fight right now, and last I checked, sitting on the roof wasn’t against the rules.”

Hibari was eerily silent at that – too silent. Gokudera started to lower his binoculars, bracing himself for an attack, but his attention was drawn away by sudden movement at the window. Someone inside the classroom was handing Shitt P a USB drive – Gokudera wondered what could possibly be on it. Files related to a school project? Or maybe some secret information she was supposed to send to others of her kind?

Before he could consider it further, to his utter astonishment, Shitt P took the USB drive and stuck it up her nose.

“Amazing!” he shouted, scrambling to grab his notebook and sketch out what he was seeing. “I thought she used language to pass on information, but maybe she’s able to transmit it directly through brain waves! Of course, that would have to mean that her nasal cavity is structured differently than ours, or maybe there’s some other method of transmission via her nostrils that’s never been observed before—!”

Gokudera stopped, suddenly remembering that Hibari was standing right next to him. Why was he telling all of this to Hibari of all people? And, more importantly, why was Hibari letting him?

When he lowered his binoculars and glanced over at him, Hibari was staring at him, his eyes wide. But he didn’t seem angry, for once, just…surprised. Flushing with embarrassment, Gokudera stammered, “A-anyway, as you can see, there’s a lot to observe! So don’t bother me.”

Hibari glanced between him and the third-story window. Then, to Gokudera’s further shock, he suddenly sat down beside him. He was close, his knees casually pulled to his chest as he kept his attention on the window. For a moment, an eternity, Gokudera was frozen. He could hardly believe this was happening. Ever since they returned from the future, Hibari had been nothing but violent, so this moment of peace now seemed monumental. What had even caused it? Did he have an interest in the supernatural?

As Gokudera just gaped at him in bewilderment, Hibari caught his eye. “…I want to know what’s been occupying my school. Apparently she may be a dangerous creature.” 

Swallowing, Gokudera could only maintain eye contact for a second. He looked down at his journal instead as something warm bubbled in his chest. No one had ever taken his hobby seriously before, and he certainly wouldn’t have expected Hibari of all people to be the first. He wanted to tell him that it was unlikely that Shitt P or her kind posed much of a threat, but he was worried that it would make Hibari lose interest, so he held his tongue.

Instead, they sat there together in horribly awkward silence. Every once in a while it was broken by Gokudera muttering an observation as he jotted it down in his notebook, or Hibari wanting to look through his binoculars.

Gokudera didn’t know what to think. He was so blown away by Hibari actively engaging in his hobby with him that it was almost more distracting than if he had picked a fight with him. Was this even Hibari, or some weird replacement? Could he be an illusion, another UMA? And if he wasn’t any of those things, then why was the Hibari he usually got at night, the vicious, hostile one, so different from this calm, amiable one who was currently sitting beside him?

…And why did Gokudera kind of want to study him, too?

Hibari hummed, making Gokudera jump, worried for an intense second that he’d somehow said all his thoughts out loud. When he realized that Hibari was still watching the window, however, he looked over at Shitt P, only to find that she was no longer there. He scrambled to his feet, quickly scanning the area, but couldn’t see any sign of where she had gone. The speed at which she was able to move was incredible!

“Did you see what happened?!” Gokudera demanded. 

“…She leapt out of the window and landed on her inflatable rings,” Hibari said. “I’d like to take a bite out of one of those.”

Gokudera paused, trying to make sense of that statement, before shaking his head and returning to his notebook. “So she’s able to use them to traverse across incredible heights as well…! I need to focus on establishing communication with her, so we can learn more about those rings. In the meantime, you could look into ways to keep up with her speed, so we can track her even if she—”

Gokudera cut off, realizing with mounting horror that he was giving orders to Hibari.

But Hibari merely stood and turned for the door. “I’ll give it some thought.”

With that, he left Gokudera standing there, just as shell-shocked as when he had arrived.

--

A few days later, they were on the roof again, observing Shitt P.

Hibari’s suggestions for keeping up with her had been ludicrous—renting a helicopter had come up more than once—so after a heated argument they had settled on just continuing their observations at school. And strangely, it somehow allowed them to find a semblance of balance. They still fought at night when Hibari caught Gokudera sneaking into the music room, but it was routine now so they knew how to interact. And now they knew how to interact during their moments of peace too, sitting on the roof with their knees touching as they shared Gokudera’s binoculars. They were both very strange ways to engage with each other, but it seemed to be working for them – Gokudera didn’t feel so tense around Hibari anymore, so uncertain. He knew when Hibari wanted to fight, and he knew when they could be at peace, and he was just fine leaving it at that.

And anytime the nagging thoughts of their potential future together reared their ugly heads, he just shoved them back where they came from and didn’t give them any further thought.

Today, they were observing Shitt P while she ate an afternoon snack, which was, of course, a giant container of fermented beans.

“Her species appears to thrive entirely off of fermented beans – I’ve never observed her eating anything else,” Gokudera said.

“…A herbivore, then?” Hibari asked, his lip pulling back in a snarl.

Gokudera rolled his eyes. “You think everyone’s a herbivore. But in this case, the evidence does seem to support that.”

Hibari sniffed. “Of course.”

“You do realize that mentality of yours doesn’t make any sense, right?” Gokudera found himself saying. “That we’re all just weak herbivores getting in your way?”

Hibari narrowed his eyes at him. “In nature, there are often lone carnivores amidst a sea of herbivores.”

“…Ignoring the carnivores that live in packs or prides, sure. But there’s a sea of herbivores because they’re adapted to survive even in the presence of carnivores. I wouldn’t call that weak. And besides, carnivores can’t survive without herbivores – they wouldn’t have anything to eat. Or bite, in your case.” Gokudera met his gaze defiantly, smirking a bit. “So when you go on and on about that, what you’re really saying is that you need us around.”

Hibari froze. He stared at Gokudera like he’d just told him that the sun revolved around the Earth. Gokudera’s smile faded the longer he stared at him – he’d just been teasing him, really, trying to get a rise out of him. So why was he sitting there, floored, like Gokudera had said something profound?

Uneasily, he turned back to look at Shitt P, but she was gone. Swearing, Gokudera got to his feet and scanned the area with his binoculars, but there was once again no trace of her to be seen. It was insane how quickly she could get around on those inflatable rings of hers.

“…Dammit,” Gokudera muttered, lowering his binoculars. He checked the time on his phone and swore again. “I gotta make it to the suit store before they close, so I guess we’ll just have to find her again later. Do you have everything you need for the Tenth’s inheritance ceremony?”

Hibari stared at him blankly. “I’m not going.”

“…What?!” Gokudera shouted in outrage. “What do you mean you’re not going?! You’re the Tenth’s Cloud Guardian – you have to be there!”

Hibari scowled. “I resent that implication. And I’m not putting on a stuffy suit just to stand amongst huge crowds of herbiv—people.”

Gokudera blinked at him, thrown off for a moment. He’d been about to say ‘herbivores’, hadn’t he – why did he correct himself? Was it because of what Gokudera had said? “Well, I don’t care – it’s our duty, and you have to go!”

Hibari slowly got to his feet. He looked murderous, suddenly, and light flashed off metal as he drew his tonfa out of his jacket sleeves. “Make me.”

Gokudera groaned in frustration. “What’s with you?! Why can’t you ever make anything easy?!”

Hibari’s lip curled into a snarl. “I don’t abide by whatever is or isn’t easy for you. I only do things for myself.”

“Clearly,” Gokudera spat. “Caring about anyone besides yourself would make you too much like a herbivore, right?”

Hibari lunged at him, tonfa swinging viciously. Gokudera fought back as much as he could, but he was so caught off guard by the sudden change in Hibari’s mood that he wasn’t putting in his usual effort. He was thoroughly thrashed, worse than it’d been in a long time, beaten around like a ragdoll and left groaning there on the ground as Hibari stalked off.  

Afterwards, he carefully tended to his wounds before limping off to the suit store, upset and completely confused.

Apparently, the differences between daytime and nighttime Hibari weren’t as clear-cut as he’d thought.

--

On the afternoon of the inheritance ceremony, Gokudera’s stomach was twisted into tight knots.

He was furious about what had happened to Yamamoto, furious and anxious and a little afraid. Things had been bad for the Vongola family before, but the apparent spontaneity of the violence this time made it feel worse. There hadn’t even been a battle or anything – Yamamoto had been attacked in the baseball team’s locker room while he was alone, unprovoked. Gokudera knew the mafia world was cold and uncaring, but this was on a whole other level. It felt personal.

He was determined to help the Tenth find the bastard who did this, but felt a little uncertain of his role. He didn’t know why the Tenth had originally turned down the title of Vongola boss, without even discussing it with him. If he’d had his doubts, wasn’t that something he’d talk to his right-hand man about? But Gokudera hadn’t even known that he was planning to cancel the ceremony until they went to the hospital to check on Yamamoto, and he’d been preparing for it for weeks.

Everything felt like one big mess, suddenly. And it didn’t help matters that Hibari, of course, hadn’t even had the decency to show up. That bastard really was just as cold-hearted as he always claimed he was. Gokudera had expected it, but it was much easier to be angry at him than focus on anything else he was feeling.

While the Vongola mingled with the other families, Gokudera kept a critical eye on each person they talked to, watching for a reaction. Chrome was doing well with her Yamamoto illusion, trying to draw out the culprit, but so far only the Bucking Horse and Squalo had noticed that he wasn’t real, and no one had seemed surprised by the fact that he was there at all.

Gokudera clenched his fists. What if they couldn’t find who did this, before it was too late—?

Suddenly, a murderous vibe flooded through the courtyard. Eyes widening, Gokudera spun around – he’d recognize that attitude anywhere—

And sure enough, Hibari stood a little ways back from their group. He was late, and he looked extremely unhappy to be there, but he was there. He’d even put on the suit he claimed to hate so much.  

“It’s rare for you to come of your own accord,” Reborn commented.

“A student was attacked on school grounds.” Hibari’s eyes narrowed. “I’m just here to bite the culprit to death.”

It was the most Hibari reason, but for some reason it lifted some of the anxiety in Gokudera’s chest. Hibari hated crowds, and suits, but he’d suffered through both to help them find Yamamoto’s attacker, to stand beside them as the Vongola Cloud Guardian. Despite it all, he cared about what had happened to Yamamoto just as much as the rest of them.

Gokudera didn’t understand him – he’d never understand him.

But he was so fucking glad to see him.

As they filtered into the castle where the ceremony was being held, Gokudera was surprised to find Hibari walking next to him. He glanced at him, looking him over – it was strange seeing him in a suit, when all he usually wore was his school uniform. It reminded him, rather uncomfortably, of his future counterpart, who Gokudera thought about way too often. But one thing, at least, was different – Gokudera grimaced as his eyes caught on Hibari’s tie.

Without thinking about it, he pulled him aside. “What the hell’s up with your tie, Hibari? You can’t be fucking disheveled for the Tenth’s inheritance ceremony! And shouldn’t you know how to tie a tie, being a rich kid and all?”

By the time his brain caught up with his mouth, and he realized what he was doing, he was already in the process of fixing Hibari’s tie. His breath tangled up in his throat, his hands fumbling. He didn’t dare meet Hibari’s eyes, instead focusing solely on his task. He fully expected Hibari to kill him—and, in fact, he was kind of hoping he would put him out of his sudden misery—but he didn’t. His gaze was intense, but he just watched Gokudera, letting him tie his tie. They were so close that Gokudera could feel Hibari’s breath on his face, and his heart rate kicked up.

What the hell was he supposed to do now?! Why had he thought this was a sensible thing to do?! Even if Hibari’s tie was crooked, he should’ve just told him and let him fix it himself!

…Though why was he just standing there letting him tie it, anyway?!

Gokudera risked making eye contact, but he couldn’t maintain it for very long. He looked away again, swallowing heavily. The only thing he could do now was distract them both long enough to finish tying the tie and flee. Maybe he could talk about Shitt P, or—

“…Thank you for coming,” he found himself murmuring instead as he tightened the knot on Hibari’s tie. “I…we needed you here.”

Hibari glanced down at Gokudera’s hands. “…I needed to be here, too. No one gets to bite my herbivores but me.”

“…Your herbivores, huh?” Gokudera muttered, but he couldn’t hold back a small smile.

He was still holding Hibari’s tie, though there was no longer any reason to do so. His brain had completely stalled, and all he could think about was the heat of Hibari’s body, the smell of his aftershave, the intense pressure of his attention.

…Why did he kind of want to kiss him?

Hibari suddenly gripped Gokudera’s suit collar, making his breath hitch. He was closer than before, so close that Gokudera couldn’t look away anymore. Hibari’s eyes were dark, his pupils blown wide, and Gokudera found himself leaning forward and—

“Please don’t fight, you guys!” the Tenth shouted, darting up to them with his hands raised placatingly. “Not today, of all days – we need to be united!”

Gokudera and Hibari leapt away from each other like the Tenth had poured boiling acid on them. Gokudera’s hands had still been on Hibari’s tie, so he accidentally took it with him as they put as much distance between them as possible. He hurriedly shoved the tie in his back pocket, his face bright red, completely incapable of even glancing in Hibari’s direction.

“We, uh, we’re not fighting, Tenth, don’t worry!” Gokudera said, his voice unnaturally high. He cleared his throat, and then tried to give the Tenth a reassuring smile. “We were just—!”

Hibari roughly brushed past him, smacking into his shoulder as he went. Gokudera watched him go, clenching his fists at his sides. “…It’s not important.”

The Tenth turned to face Gokudera, concerned. “Are you okay?”

“…I’m fine!” Gokudera said, forcing his smile even wider. “And anyway, we’re here to find out who attacked Yamamoto, right Tenth? That’s all that matters.” 

The Tenth searched his face for a moment and then nodded. “Yeah. The ceremony’s about to start, so let’s keep our eyes peeled.”

“You can count on me, Tenth!” Gokudera shouted, doing his best to shove what had just happened—or almost happened—out of his mind as he followed the Tenth through the crowd.

It was nothing – it was nothing. There was no use in getting all flustered about it.

--

After the inheritance ceremony, Gokudera stood in Nami Middle’s courtyard, staring at his new Vongola Gear belt buckle.

He still couldn’t believe that the Shimon of all people had been the bastards who had attacked Yamamoto. They had all seemed friendly, and got along well with their group, so how could they do something like that…? They even accused the Tenth’s ancestor of murder, of all things!

But one of the worst parts was that Shitt P had been in on it, too – despite all that time Gokudera had spent observing her, he’d never even had an inkling that she was plotting something like this. He’d never noticed anything while patrolling either, and had even gone so far as to plan the Tenth’s security with the enemy!

He clenched his teeth so tightly that his jaw quivered. He should’ve noticed – as the Tenth’s right-hand man, he should’ve spotted their plot right away and foiled it before they got anywhere near him. How had he fucked up so badly?

No wonder the Tenth hadn’t trusted him with any of his concerns about the ceremony.

…He had to improve – he had to become someone who would never let the Tenth down like this.

He activated his new weapon, Uri’s ring resonating along with the belt buckle. She appeared in front of him, adorned with sunglasses on her head that sported the Vongola crest on the nose bridge, flame- and dynamite-themed bangles around her front legs, and a mini dynamite belt looped around her hips.

Gokudera grinned at her. “Alright, Uri! All decked out I see!”

She ignored him and started to gnaw on one of the bangles. Gokudera scowled at her. “Hey, cut that out!”

She glared back at him, her claws sliding out. Before she could lunge at him, he called out, “C-Cambio Forma!” 

She yowled, then transformed into a beam of light that shot at Gokudera. He flinched, startled as  dynamite belts of his own started looping around his chest and legs. He now had a new igniter, powered by storm flames, which meant that he could finally ditch smoking those damn cigarettes while he fought. The Sistema C.A.I. seemed to be built into the new weapon as well, familiar goggles settling on his face and the Bone Loops shooting out in front of him.

He let out a slow breath. Time to figure out what this new weapon could do.

He spent a few minutes exploring the different bombs he had at his disposal, the new ones as well as the power boosts his old attacks had received. The Rocket Bombs, for example, now had honing abilities, and he had a new set of bombs that he could set off beneath him to fly a great distance without injuring himself. These Air Bombs would work well as a defensive maneuver…

Just as he was about to try it out, however, a cold voice growled from behind him, “What do you think you’re doing?”

Gokudera stopped, spinning to face Hibari. He was still in his suit, the primness of it starkly contrasting the furious expression on his face. Gokudera grimaced back at him, though he wasn’t that surprised to see him. He was practicing at the school, after all – some part of him must’ve been expecting, and maybe even hoping for, Hibari to show up. “I’m practicing with my new Vongola Gear.”

Hibari pulled his tonfa out from his suit. “You’re damaging school grounds.”

“How the hell can you care about the school grounds after what just happened at the inheritance ceremony?!” Gokudera shouted, his anger and frustration exploding. “What’s important right now is getting stronger, so we can defeat the Shimon Family! You lost to them too, remember?!” 

Hibari’s face twitched and he started to run towards him without further warning. “If you won’t leave, then I’ll just have to bite you to death.”

“You can try,” Gokudera snarled, tossing his Air Bombs at the ground. The blast shot him up into the air while pushing Hibari back, which gave Gokudera time to launch his Rocket Bombs at him. “Take that, you bastard!”

Hibari darted out of the way, but the Rocket Bombs’ new ability made it so they could just turn and follow after him. As they honed in on him, Hibari released the flails on his tonfa and swung them at the dynamite, slicing them in half. He ran towards Gokudera again, but Gokudera threw more Air Bombs, keeping his distance.

“Aren’t you going to use your new Vongola Gear?” Gokudera taunted him as he landed on the ground again. “Or are you too worried that you won’t be able to figure it out while fighting me?”

Hibari’s eyes flashed dangerously. Roll suddenly appeared on his shoulder, and Hibari scratched under his chin for a moment before growling out, “Cambio Forma.”

Resonating with the Cloud Bracelet, Roll turned into his own ball of light and encased Hibari’s body – it was so blinding that Gokudera had to throw his arm up to shield his eyes. When the light died down again, Hibari stood before him, now wearing a long black cloak with a high collar. His tonfa were also decked out in a black casing, but otherwise, he was about the same.

Which was classic Hibari, actually – Gokudera doubted he would want anything more even if he could have it.

Hibari smirked, cloud flames suddenly blazing around him as chains and spikes flew out of his tonfa, easily crossing the distance Gokudera had put between them.

“…Shit!” Gokudera growled, wrapping the Bone Loops tightly around himself as he threw more Rocket Bombs.

Hibari’s chains smacked into the Bone Loops harmlessly while the Rocket Bombs exploded against the spikes, creating a huge cloud of smoke. For a moment, all Gokudera could see were the chains, which looked like they were made of bone, like a spinal cord. They matched his Bone Loops perfectly – Gokudera couldn’t help but admire them.

Though his moment of hesitation cost him as he realized, too late, that a figure was coming at him through the smoke. Hibari leapt at him with tiny Rolls all around him, the hedgehogs’ spikes piercing through his Bone Loops. The unexpected part, though, was that the cool bone chain was extending, passing through the hole Hibari had ripped open in the Bone Loops and circling around Gokudera. Desperately, Gokudera tried another Air Bomb, but Hibari was now close enough that it just blasted him up too, the two of them suspended in mid-air for a moment.

…Shit! There had to be something else he could do, but he hadn’t figured out how the rest of the bombs that came with his Vongola Gear worked yet! How had Hibari figured out his so quickly?! Had he already been practicing with it somewhere else before he came here?!

A quiet mew suddenly sounded just behind Gokudera as claws lightly sunk into his back. He flinched, worried for a moment that it was another attack from Hibari’s bone chain, before realizing that it had to be Uri. Of course…! Roll had stayed in animal form for Hibari’s Cambio Forma, so it made sense that Uri had as well! She must have some new ability, too – he just had to figure out what it was before Hibari beat the shit out of him.

Her tail flicked over his shoulder for a second, just long enough for him to see the wick attached to the tip of it. A wick, huh…? That was a pretty clear indicator of what she could do, but the main question was how he got her near Hibari without him noticing. It didn’t seem like he’d seen her so far, but if Gokudera threw her like his usual dynamite, Hibari would just swipe her aside immediately. And it wasn’t like she listened to him well enough for him to command her to sneak up on him on her own.

But he did have some leftover catnip in his pocket…

The Air Bombs had bought him enough time to plan, at least – by the time they landed on the ground again and Hibari swung at him with his tonfa, Gokudera was ready for him. He braced for impact, letting Hibari get close enough to land a hit on him as he surreptitiously wiped a small glob of catnip on his jacket.

It seemed to do the trick, as Uri’s claws immediately unhooked from his back. All Gokudera had to do now was distract Hibari while she made her way over to him.

Using the upgraded Sistema C.A.I. Flame Arrow on his right arm, Gokudera loaded a Cloud Tube and shot it out, the resulting storm and cloud flames branching out as they headed straight for Hibari. Hibari whipped his tonfa, propagating more spikes to meet the flames as he slashed the remainders with his chain. The more he destroyed, the more Gokudera sent out, keeping him busy. Uri was almost in position behind Hibari now, the wick on her tail close to the base of her spine – Gokudera did his best not to watch her so he wouldn’t give her position away.

“Is that all you have?” Hibari growled as he slashed at more flames. “The same old tricks, over and over again?”

“Even if they are the same old tricks, there’s enough of them that you seem to have forgotten about one,” Gokudera said, smirking.

Hibari paused, narrowing his eyes at him. “…Where’s that kitten of yours?”

Gokudera grinned. “Now, Uri!”

She pounced onto Hibari’s back and detonated, knocking him to the ground. His jacket seemed to be made of some kind of material that protected him from the worst of the blast, but knocking Hibari down was a feat in and of itself, and Gokudera pumped his fist triumphantly. “Ha!”

Hibari slowly pushed himself upright, but to Gokudera’s surprise, he was smirking. “Hm. Not bad.”

“I have to get better – there’s no other option,” Gokudera said, wiping blood off his cheek from when Hibari had hit him earlier. “…Thanks for letting me practice on you. Your bone chains are cool.”

Hibari’s eyes widened slightly. He didn’t seem to know what to do with that statement, and the longer he remained silent, the more awkward Gokudera felt. Clearing his throat, he decided to change the subject, “I can’t believe that fucking bastard so thoroughly thrashed us.”

“…I’ll bite him to death,” Hibari growled, though his expression softened as Uri climbed over his shoulder, finally making it to the catnip on his jacket. She was so tiny now – the explosion must have used up most of her flames, which meant that Gokudera wouldn’t be able to use her new trick very often. She was purring contently, though, her tail happily flicking back and forth as she licked up the catnip. Just like in the future, Hibari was clearly her favorite. Hibari rubbed between her ears with his finger, incredibly gentle.

Watching them made Gokudera uncomfortable, and he looked away. “Not if I get to him first.”

Hibari ignored him, instead critically eyeing his new Vongola Gear jacket. “…It’s missing something.”

Before Gokudera could ask him what he meant, he stood, carefully moved Uri to the ground, and then started walking away. “See you.”

“Wh—? Wait!” Gokudera shouted after him. “Aren’t you coming with us to fight the Shimon Family?”

Hibari glanced over his shoulder at him scornfully. “With you? Of course not.”

Gokudera’s mouth dropped open. What was this bastard’s problem?! Outraged, he pulled his dynamite out again. “Hibari, you bastard…!”

But he was already gone, disappearing into the school.

“Damn him,” Gokudera muttered, clicking his tongue. “Let’s go home, Uri.”

She ignored him, focused entirely on the wad of catnip in her mouth. He rolled his eyes heavily and reached into his back pocket for more to entice her with, but his fingers caught on fabric instead. Confused, he pulled it out and realized it was Hibari’s tie – after everything that had happened, he’d completely forgotten that he still had it. He’d also forgotten until then that he had it because they’d been seconds away from kissing each other, and might have even done it if the Tenth hadn’t interrupted them.

His face instantly heated up, and he dropped the tie as if it had burned him. Why had he done that – why had they done that?! He’d spent all that time fighting back against the knowledge of their future counterparts’ relationship, and yet here he was trying to kiss Hibari anyway! He must still be influenced by it – he hadn’t even realized that he wanted to kiss him until he was almost doing it, so how could it be something he really wanted to do?

He thought about Hibari’s warmth against him, their shoulders brushing together as they sat on the roof and observed Shitt P. He thought about the way Hibari grinned when they fought, something feral in his expression, the way his eyes burned when he looked at Gokudera…

Gokudera slowly bent down to pick up the tie again, clenching his fingers around it as he pressed it to his forehead. He could barely stop himself from screaming.

Why did everything have to be so fucking complicated?

--

Hibari was in a horrible mood.

Everyone seemed determined to disturb his peace these days. First, there were the annoying transfer students, who did nothing but cause problems wherever they went. Suzuki especially was constantly butting heads with him, trying to kick out the disciplinary committee. It would be one thing if she just wanted to fight him—that could be enjoyable—but wanting to destroy and evict his club was an entirely different, and extremely irritating, matter. Then, Yamamoto had gotten beaten up on school grounds, on Hibari’s turf, right under his nose. And the cherry on top was getting his ass kicked by that herbivore Cozart, that sniveling weakling.

He was furious.

Blowing off steam with Gokudera had helped somewhat, but he was a whole other problem in and of itself. Hibari had avoided him like the plague after witnessing that horrifying future, the one where he apparently became so weak that he allowed himself to want someone, to need someone. That was already bad enough, but that someone then being Gokudera Hayato of all people, the loudmouth who blindly devoted himself to Sawada… He couldn’t think of anything more unpleasant. 

But now, somehow, without rhyme or reason, Hibari was starting to look forward to the time they spent together. Their almost nightly fights had become fun, now that Gokudera was improving, and he’d even found himself enjoying the time they spent observing the transfer herbivore Shitt P. It was…surprisingly nice to be included in someone else’s hobby.

And then there was what had happened at the inheritance ceremony, when Gokudera had worn that suit that was just a tad too tight…

Hibari shook his head at himself, irritated. What was wrong with him? Being the detached, lone wolf he always was had been perfectly fine until the day he’d stumbled upon Gokudera playing the piano in the music room. Something about that song, the way Gokudera played it, had resonated within him, and since then he found himself unable to look away whenever Gokudera was nearby. His emotions were so vibrant, his passion so bright, and yet he’d played something so bitter and aching. Hibari was painfully curious about it, something deep inside of him desperate to know what he’d recognized in that song, and it was infuriating.

He didn’t want to be curious. He didn’t want to take even a step towards that future.

After leaving Gokudera in the school courtyard, burning and hyped up, Hibari couldn’t sleep, so he stayed up all night working on his new Vongola Gear jacket. He probably should’ve been training, instead of spending all of his time meticulously adding a bird wing pattern to the inside base, but after sparring with Gokudera, he was confident that he understood how his new weapon worked and could utilize it effectively.

For now, he just needed something to distract himself with so he didn’t waste his new toy on some low-level punks. His anger was too close to the surface to risk interacting with anyone.

By the time he joined the Vongola on Shimon Island several days later, he was itching for a fight, and Suzuki was more than happy to finally give him one.

She was strong – he’d give her that. She was also stubborn and persistent, like him, which made the fight more interesting. He had a lot of pent up rage, so it was extremely satisfying that he had a lot of targets to unleash it on, her 500 Blizzardroids easy to defeat but time-consuming. It was also nice to have a fight that actually lasted more than five seconds.

By the time he destroyed her Diamond Castle, he finally felt a bit satiated, his frustration mostly gone. Maybe he’d finally be able to sleep now.

As the rest of the Vongola set up camp, Hibari picked a spot as far away from them as possible while still being able to see them and unrolled his sleeping bag. It was actually Kusakabe’s, as Hibari had never gone camping before, so it practically buried him as he climbed into it. It was almost like he was laying in the embrace of a giant, fluffy bear—and Kusakabe was rather bear-like, wasn’t he? He was tall, and cuddly, and he had a gravelly voice like a bear…

…How long had it been since he last slept? 

Hibari was so distracted trying to remember that he didn’t notice someone approaching him until they suddenly sat down beside him. He flinched, rolling around as he tried to pull out his tonfa, but he was so enveloped in the massive sleeping bag that all he managed to do was get twisted up in it, the hood covering his face so he couldn’t see out.

He struggled—embarrassment over whoever the hell had the nerve to sit next to him seeing him like this making him thrash even more violently—until finally his visitor grabbed the sleeping bag and pulled on it, freeing him from his prison.

He glanced up and saw that it was Gokudera sitting there, his mouth twisted like he couldn’t decide whether to laugh or not. “You alright there?”

“…This bear is trying to eat me,” Hibari growled. It made perfect sense to him, so he didn’t understand why Gokudera was peering at him so strangely.

“…Well, I’m glad it waited until after your fight,” Gokudera said, leaning back on his hands as Hibari sat up out of the sleeping bag. “…I thought you weren’t coming. To fight the Shimon, I mean.”

“I never said that,” Hibari said, which was true.

Gokudera glared at him for a moment before his expression softened. “I guess you do always come through for us, somehow. Your fight was impressive.”

“It was too easy,” he grumbled. “But it helped. Now I’m ready to bite that Cozart herbivore to death.”

Gokudera huffed out a laugh. “So long as that bear doesn’t get to you first, huh?”

“It won’t,” Hibari muttered. “I’ll win.”

“What’s your opinion on omnivores, anyway?” Gokudera suddenly asked. “You never talk about them.”

Hibari thought this over carefully. “…They’re cowards. They could be carnivores, if they tried hard enough, but instead they take the easy way out and just eat whatever they come across.”

“Isn’t that smart, though?” Gokudera said. “They don’t starve that way, since they’re not holding out for something better.”

“But they also never get the best food,” Hibari argued. “I could’ve beaten up any old punk on my way here, but I held back, saved up my energy for Suzuki and that Cozart herbivore. It was a much longer wait, but an equally bigger reward.”

Gokudera shook his head, but he was smiling. “Your logic still doesn’t make any sense. But you also think a bear’s trying to eat you, so I don’t know why I even asked.”

“You’re curious about me,” Hibari blurted out. “Like I’m curious about you.”

Gokudera startled, staring at him with wide eyes. His mouth parted for a moment before he closed it again and looked away. “…You are?”

“That song you played when you first broke into Nami Middle – I…recognized it,” Hibari said. If he’d gotten more sleep, he probably wouldn’t have been saying any of this, but in his half-delirious state, everything was just coming out the moment he thought it.

Gokudera snorted. “Well, it is a popular song—”

“No,” Hibari interrupted. “I recognized the pain of it, like a wound that won’t heal. I want to know what that was.”

Gokudera flinched. He started picking at the grass in agitation. “…Grief? Loneliness? I don’t know, I—”

He cut off, swallowed, and was silent for a long time.

Hibari watched him, then said, “I didn’t know anyone but me felt like that.”

Gokudera looked up at him again. “I didn’t know you were lonely.”

The words hit Hibari hard. He’d never allowed himself to think about it like that before, but of course he was lonely. He had no friends outside of Kusakabe, most people just running away from him in fear. His parents acted like he didn’t exist and even his uncle, the person he was closest to, had left one day with no explanation, or even a goodbye. He’d decided long ago that it was easier not to know people, and most of them annoyed him anyway, but…  

“…My mother used to play that song a lot when she was alive,” Gokudera murmured. He fiddled with his rings for a moment before adding, “It was her favorite, so I thought playing it would be a way to remember her by.”

…Gokudera didn’t have to say that, just as Hibari didn’t have to say anything either, but they did. A truth for a truth. “Did it help?”

“…I don’t know.” Gokudera scowled, but there was something playful about it. “Some asshole interrupted me.”

Hibari had never felt bad about beating someone up before, but he did then. It sat uncomfortably in his chest, making him squirm. “…Then you can come back and play, as long as I’m there to let you in. I don’t want you destroying school property.”

Gokudera’s eyes widened again. “Really? You’re not just saying that because you’re delirious from sleep-deprivation, right?”

Hibari shrugged. “We’ll find out, won’t we?”

Gokudera stared at him for a moment, then huffed out a laugh. There was something about his smile – Hibari found he couldn’t look away. “I guess we will. …While you’re in such a lenient mood, I, uh, wanted to give you this.”

He dug around in his pocket and pulled out a familiar tie. Confused, Hibari stared at it, then at him.

“I accidentally took your tie when we almost—you know, during the inheritance ceremony,” Gokudera said, conspicuously not looking at him. “You said something was missing from your jacket, and I guess you meant that wing pattern, but I thought you might like… Well, whatever.”

He shoved the tie into Hibari’s lap. It had a patch on it now of a raptor skull, perfectly matching Hibari’s new bone chains and the bird feathers on his jacket.

Hibari stared down at it, uncomprehending. No one besides Kusakabe had ever made something for him before. Silently, he put the tie on, looping it around his neck and tying it. Gokudera watched him intensely, then scoffed when he finished.

“That’s still wrong, you know,” he muttered, reaching out to fix Hibari’s tie again.

Hibari watched him, much like he had the last time, something aching deep inside of him. He still didn’t know why he hadn’t stopped Gokudera before, why he hadn’t violently reacted to such close proximity. Hibari didn’t let just anyone touch him like that, but he’d found himself enjoying the intimacy of it. He’d liked the feeling of Gokudera’s breath on his face, his hands brushing against his sternum. And Gokudera had looked good in his suit, the tight fabric bringing out all of the attractive angles that were usually hidden in his baggy clothes.

Hibari had wanted to bite him, sure, but for a very different reason.

And it was still the same now.

…How did this happen? Did learning about his potential future plant the possibility of it in his brain? The thought of that was revolting, but it couldn’t be true. Knowledge of his future self didn’t make him react to Gokudera’s piano-playing; it didn’t make him sit down next to him and observe Shitt P. It didn’t make him want to kiss him, or cherish the tie he’d made for him.

…Did it?

Gokudera tightened the tie snugly and then sat back. When Hibari glanced up at him, his ears were bright red.

Whatever this was, it felt real.

But he hated that he couldn’t be sure.

“…I’ll leave you to sleep,” Gokudera murmured, clearing his throat awkwardly as he got to his feet. He flashed a grin that made Hibari’s insides twist. “Try not to let that bear get you.”

Hibari opened his mouth, almost asked him to stay. Stay and do what, he wasn’t sure, but in that moment, he wanted it, him, so badly that it ached.

But he hesitated, and Gokudera continued on to the Vongola campsite, completely unaware.

Hibari settled back into his sleeping bag, his moody bear, suddenly wide awake. He hadn’t slept in days, but that didn’t seem to matter – his whole body was restless, agitated, overstimulated. He kept touching the tie, running his fingers along the raptor patch.

With Gokudera on his mind, he’d probably never sleep again.

--

Gokudera crouched beneath a bush, leaves poking his face and pulling at his clothes as he tried to hide as much of himself as he could.

Ever since the Vongola returned from Shimon Island, after successfully freeing the Shimon family and defeating Daemon Spade, Shitopi hadn’t left him alone. She followed him everywhere – the second he left his apartment she was there, tailing him on his way to school, sitting next to him in class, hanging around at lunch, following him home afterwards. He was sick of it. He was glad she was out of prison, and he did want a chance to study her closer, and maybe become her friend, but she was just so clingy about it! The only place she hadn’t dared to follow him into was the bathroom, but he was sure it was just a matter of time. 

Earlier, he’d run as far away from her as possible—which was a feat, considering those speedy rings of hers—and dove into the nearest hiding place, a rather thorny bush lining someone’s yard.

Peeking out from under the bush, he watched Shitopi turn the corner onto the street he was hiding on, turning her head this way and that. Good – it seemed like she’d lost sight of him.

While she was looking the other way, Gokudera slowly crept out of the bush, only to crash right into someone.

“Dammit…! Watch where you’re going!” he snarled, glaring up at the person who’d so rudely ruined his one chance at escape. When he saw who it was, however, he immediately went pale. “O-oh… Hey, Hibari…”

Hibari glanced down at him, his own irritated expression fading. “Gokudera.”

They stared at each other in silence for what felt like an eternity. They hadn’t gotten a chance to talk since the delirious conversation they’d had after Hibari’s fight with Suzuki, and the awkwardness was stifling. Gokudera had even less of an idea of where they stood with each other now than he did before.

Eventually, he had to look away, catching sight of Hibari’s hands in the process. They were red and blotchy, covered in hives.

Gokudera frowned as he got to his feet. “Hey, are you alright…? Did you run into poison ivy in the woods, or something?”

Hibari blinked at him, then scowled. “They’re from spending too much time around you herbivores. Don’t bother me.”

With that, he stalked away, leaving Gokudera just gaping after him. He couldn’t keep up with Hibari’s mood swings – he felt like a completely different person every single time they met.

One thing was for sure, though: Gokudera probably shouldn’t take him up on his offer to come play the piano at Nami Middle. He hadn’t had time to since they came back from Shimon Island, but part of him had also been afraid of what would happen if he did. He’d managed to successfully bury his confusing feelings about Hibari during the Shimon fights, but now, with nothing to distract him, they were constantly plaguing his mind again. He didn’t know how he felt about him, what he wanted from him. The idea of playing the piano in front of him, of being open and vulnerable, felt monumental – just thinking about it made his stomach flip unpleasantly.

But he’d still been considering it, especially since Hibari had told him that he was curious about him, that he was just as lonely as Gokudera was. Maybe they could find some way to ease their loneliness together.

But if this asshole version of him was going to be the one to greet him, then there was no way in hell that Gokudera was going to bare his soul for him.

“…What’s your relationship with him?” Shitopi asked, centimeters from his ear.

Gokudera flinched away from her, barely biting back a scream. “Not so close!!”

Shitopi pouted, hands on her hips. “You followed me all over, so why can’t I do the same to you?”

Gokudera grimaced – she had a point, but he didn’t want to admit it. “I just—you just can’t, okay? And I don’t have any relationship with him!”

“You clearly do.” She used her rings to flip upside-down, cocking her head to the side. “I remember a few times when he was watching me with you.”

He gawked at her. “…You knew we were watching you?!”

She snorted. “Of course I did! Why else would someone point a huge pair of binoculars at me? It’s not exactly discreet.” 

Gokudera had no idea what to say to that. He’d never really considered the possibility that the cryptids he was observing were aware that he was observing them – what if he was impacting their normal behavior?! And what if they didn’t actually want to be observed…?

He was about to stammer out some kind of apology when she suddenly grinned and leaned forward. “Did you like what you saw?”

Gokudera’s face burned bright red. “W-we weren’t looking because of that…!”

“Cause you bat for the other team, don’t you, Gokudera?” she said cheerfully, seeming not to notice or care how badly he flinched. “You can’t win them all, I suppose!”

Gokudera just stared at her, flabbergasted. It was true that he’d never had any interest in staring at girls, but he’d never had any interest in staring at guys, either. Though his current crush—or whatever the hell it could be called—was for a guy…

He shook his head. She was getting him way off topic. “The point is, just because we…sometimes hang out doesn’t mean we…”

He trailed off. He genuinely had no idea how to finish that sentence.

“…Sounds complicated,” Shitopi said. “Why don’t you just keep it simple?”

“Because it’s not simple!” he snapped. “If it was simple, I wouldn’t be worrying about it!”

“Maybe I can help,” Shitopi said, flipping upright again and folding her hands under her chin. “I’ve been known to give good advice every once in a while.”

“I thought you only cared about yourself?” Gokudera grumbled.

“Oh, I do,” she agreed easily. “But it helps, in this case – since I have absolutely no stakes at all in whatever’s going on with you, I can give out totally unbiased advice!”

He should probably be offended by that, but for some reason he found himself biting back a laugh. She was ridiculous, but her honesty was refreshing – if more people were like her, he wouldn’t have to worry about a damn thing. And maybe it would help to talk to someone about this. He didn’t have anyone else in his life who didn’t know Hibari, who wouldn’t care that he might…like him.

“…Fine,” he sighed, and told her everything. He told her about what they had learned in the future, how they seemed to alternate between tense and tender moments, how he hardly knew what to think, let alone feel.

“…I still don’t get what you’re worried about,” she said when he’d finished.

He’d felt lighter, getting it off his chest, but her words made his temper flare up again. “What’s not to get?! My future self was in a relationship with him! What the hell am I supposed to do with that?!”

“Why do you have to do anything with it?” she said. “What some other version of you did has nothing to do with you.”

He just stared at her, baffled and a little annoyed.

“Things are already different for us in this timeline, aren’t they?” she pointed out. “According to what you said, the Shimon rings were never uncovered in that future, so that other version of you never met me, never did any of the things you’ve just done. Doesn’t that mean that anything you do now has nothing to do with them, and vice versa?”

That…made a surprising amount of sense, actually. He’d never thought about it like that before, but it was true that their timelines were already so different, so changed – there was no guarantee that anything would happen the same way as it had for his future counterpart, let alone that specific aspect.

“So you should just do whatever you want to do!” Shitopi continued, poking his nose playfully. “Since you like him so much and all.”

Gokudera stumbled back, his face flushing bright red again. “I don’t like him! What’s to like about that bastard?!”

She chuckled, grinning widely. “You’re cute, Gokudera! So, so cute.”

“Shut up,” he growled, swatting at her as she cheerfully hung over his shoulders. He pointedly looked away from her as he mumbled, “Thanks, though, for hearing me out.”

“I’m always here if you ever need someone to talk to,” she said, leaning uncomfortably close to his face. “Always.”

He grimaced and shoved her face away. “I’d rather tell my problems to the Vindice, actually.”

She pouted. “Those guys aren’t any fun! And they don’t let you talk in there, anyway.”

They continued bickering as they walked down the street, wordlessly deciding to head back toward Gokudera’s apartment. As they went, Gokudera thought over what she’d said. Maybe he really had been making it overly complicated in his head – all that really mattered was him and Hibari, of the here and now. Whatever happened, happened, but at least they could be sure it was of their own volition. And Hibari could be incredibly annoying, but he could also be thoughtful, fun…

…Maybe Gokudera would head to the piano room after all.

--

Hibari liked the hospital.

It was quiet, peaceful, and his parents’ donations were the sole reason the hospital was still running, so he could boss around anyone who disturbed him. He could sleep all day if he wanted to, ignoring everything, or everyone, from the outside world. If he took out the unbearable itchiness from his hives, it would be pure heaven.

The hospital also brought up old memories of when he was small. Hibari and his uncle used to go birding a lot, looking for eggs too when the season was right. They were perhaps a little overeager about it, going so far as to climb up trees chasing interesting birds or investigating nests that they found. His uncle was nimble, but Hibari’s limbs were short, stubby, and clumsy, and he often fell out of the trees as a result. Even when he managed to get up there, he more often than not got pecked by a bird for getting too close.

He always got injured on those trips, but whenever he did, his uncle would be there, humming a tune to himself as he meticulously patched him up. Hibari had known, even at such a young age, that as long as his uncle was around, he would always be cared for.

It was a bittersweet memory now, but when Hibari was in the hospital, receiving care for his wounds, it tended to lean toward the sweeter side.

Hibari woke to the scent of oolong tea and his uncle’s voice, sleepily content until he realized there was someone in the room with him. Kusakabe knew better than to visit him here, and no one else would visit him period, so it could only be someone with malicious intent.

He sprang upright, pulling his tonfa out of his sleeves as he scanned the room. Almost immediately, his eyes landed on a very small figure sitting on the chair by his bedside, blowing on a steaming cup. He thought it was Reborn at first, or maybe even I-Pin, but as his eyes adjusted to the bright white of the hospital room, he realized that they looked uncannily like… 

His eyes widened as his tonfa sagged slightly. “…Uncle?”

“Kyouya,” Fon said, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiled. A tiny monkey poked its head out of his hair, staring at Hibari curiously. “Look how you’ve grown. I’m pleased to see you still use the tonfa.”

Hibari was frozen for a long time, uncomprehending. His uncle had definitely not been a baby when he’d known him, though his features and mannerisms now were unmistakable. How did this happen? When did it happen? Fon had been his closest friend, the only person who had ever shown him any kindness or attention in his childhood, and yet one day, he had just left Hibari waiting at martial arts practice, never to be seen again. After that, Hibari had closed off from everyone but Kusakabe, his days disintegrating into pain and loneliness and bitter fury.

He had always assumed that Fon had died suddenly, that he would never abandon him. Maybe believing it was the only way he could cope with what had happened.

But if he’d been alive this whole time, just in a different form, then…

The first emotion that exploded to life was, of course, anger, and he retightened his grip on his tonfa. “…You have a lot of nerve showing up now.”

“I’m well aware of that,” Fon murmured, “but I had little other option.”

Hibari’s lip pulled back in a snarl. He hated the hurt that sliced through him at his words. No one besides Kusakabe ever wanted to see him – why should he expect anything different from the uncle who abandoned him?

“I don’t expect you to forgive me. You were only a child, in a horrible home situation, and I abandoned you – for that, I will always be sorry. But how would you have reacted, if I’d shown up like this?” Fon waved his tiny arms in the air. “You certainly wouldn’t have believed I was your uncle.”

…That was probably true. Even as a young child, Hibari had been extremely skeptical of everything – he wasn’t pacified or fooled easily, a fact that his parents and nannies had found endlessly frustrating. Fon had once told him that it was a strength of his, something to hone as he grew older. He, out of everyone, would’ve known that Hibari would not have accepted him in his new form.

“…How did this happen?” Hibari asked.

“That’s actually what I came here to talk to you about,” Fon said. “That day, after I dropped you off at your martial arts class, I went on a mission with six others. It wasn’t supposed to take that long, so I thought I’d be back with plenty of time. But it was all a trap – I was cursed alongside the others, and we all ended up looking like this. We couldn’t return home, or to the lives we once knew. I sent a message to your father that I wouldn’t be able to pick you up, but I take it he did nothing about it?”

Hibari said nothing. He had to go home with Kusakabe that day, and no one ever came to his house looking for him.

Fon sighed heavily. “I should’ve known. Your father wasn’t suited to be a parent.”

Hibari was growing irritated by this conversation. “What does any of that have to do with you showing up now?”

“I’ve been given the opportunity to break this curse of mine,” Fon said. “But I need a representative to fight for me. I thought perhaps you would be willing.”

Hibari could hardly believe what he was hearing. All those years, Fon could’ve contacted him once Hibari was no longer a small child, but he’d chosen not to. And now he’d shown up again, just because he needed him?

“Why should I do anything for you?” he snarled.

“I’ve heard of your battle prowess, your desire to fight others that interest you,” Fon said. “If you represent me, you’ll be able to fight many familiar faces – the Varia, Rokudou Mukuro, the Vongola. And, if you win, I’ll even let you fight me.”

Hibari perked up at that. As a child, he’d always admired Fon’s skill as a martial artist, how he could best anyone in hand-to-hand combat and move faster than the eye could see. Hibari had wanted to fight him as soon as he’d picked up a tonfa, though Fon had never allowed it back then.

If he could beat the shit out of him now, it would certainly help make up for all those years of suffering he put him through.

“…I’ll do it,” Hibari said, “but only so I can bite you to death afterwards.”

Fon smiled. “I look forward to it. And since you’ve graciously agreed, this is for you – your battler’s watch.”

He grabbed a suitcase from the floor and opened it, taking out a pitch black watch and presenting it to Hibari. Hibari stared at it distrustfully, but the promise of the coming fights was too enticing. He would even have an excuse to fight Gokudera again, and warmth filled him at the thought. 

He took the watch and strapped it around his wrist.

“The battle’s in a few days – I’ll meet up with you when it starts. And don’t worry, I haven’t asked anyone else to fight for me, so you can avoid those crowds you hate so much. Oh, and before I forget…” Fon pulled out a box from his satchel. “On my way here, I ran into Gokudera. He asked that I give you this.”

Hibari glanced at him in surprise as he took the box. “You know Gokudera?”

“I was asked to train him for your battles in the future,” Fon said, smiling slightly. “He was passionate, but rather impatient.”

…That was certainly true. Hibari opened the box, staring down at what appeared to be a homemade lunch. He usually hated when people worried about him like this, but for some reason Gokudera’s attention made him feel warm. It was such an odd feeling.

“Thank you for agreeing to help me – I know you certainly don’t owe me anything,” Fon said, standing. “Get plenty of rest until then, Nephew.”

After he left the room, Hibari took one of the sausages from the bento and ate it. Perhaps it was just because he’d only been eating hospital food recently, but to him in that moment, it was one of the best sausages he’d ever had. With this and the tie, Hibari was starting to feel a little spoiled…

…The tie. Gokudera had made him something to match his Vongola Gear, so maybe Hibari could also…

Hit by sudden inspiration, he grabbed the sewing kit he always took with him to the hospital. Kusakabe had taught him how to sew, likely hoping to instil some sort of positive hobby Hibari could do with his hands, and while it hadn’t fixed his violence (why he’d decided to equip Hibari with sharp needles was anyone’s guess), Hibari had surprisingly enjoyed the activity. It was calming, and he liked that he could repair his own clothes when they got torn, or make something new entirely.

He’d never made something for someone else before, but he found his needle flying through the fabric like he was possessed. He knew exactly what he wanted to make, how to make it, and he could just imagine Gokudera wearing it, that arrogant grin on his face and the fire in his eyes that made Hibari burn inside.

By the time he was released from the hospital, it was finished. The only problem now was how to give it to him. Hibari couldn’t imagine just walking up and handing it to him, the first gift he’d ever made for someone. Gokudera would understand that – he was flustered when he handed him the tie, and he hadn’t even given the bento to him in person. And now that Hibari was really thinking about it, he was also starting to wonder if he should even give it to him at all, what it would mean if he did.

But he’d gone through the effort of making it, so he wasn’t going to back down now. Maybe he could leave it somewhere, a place where no one but Gokudera would find it and it would be obvious that the gift was from him…

It took him a few days to think of it, as it wasn’t their routine yet, but maybe it would be soon. He went up to Nami Middle’s music room long after everyone else had gone home, covered the gift with mist flames so that only Gokudera would be able to see it, and tucked it next to the piano’s music rack.

Heart pounding, he fled the room like he’d committed a crime, wondering what Gokudera’s face would look like when he found it. He’d probably blush—he got flustered adorably easily—but then, maybe, he would smile.

--

Gokudera was furious.

He stood with Yamamoto across from Hibari, Lawn Head off to the side still in full Vongola Gear, his teeth and fists clenched in frustration. Hibrai had just broken his battler’s watch, without fighting him at all, and was being awfully smug about it. Lawn Head was seething, and Gokudera’s own temper was through the roof. He’d heard that Hibari turned down Reborn’s request to fight as his representative, so Gokudera had assumed that he was being his usual antisocial self and not participating in the Representative Battle of the Rainbow at all. Yet here he was, participating for another team. How could he do that?! Did he really feel no loyalty at all?!

Gokudera was taking it too personally, but he couldn’t help it. In the past, no matter how much he protested, Hibari always ended up on their side, facing their enemies together. Even if he had some massively convoluted reason for why they just happened to be fighting together, he was right there next to them, every time. His steadfast determination was something Gokudera had come to appreciate, and maybe even like, about him.

But now, he was willingly fighting for the opposition.

And the worst part was that he didn’t even seem to care – it was all just a game to him, nothing of importance. He didn’t care about Reborn’s curse, he didn’t care about Fon’s curse, he didn’t care about the Tenth and the Vongola.

And he certainly didn’t care about Gokudera. He’d already called him a little punk and a bug, as if he was so beneath him that he couldn’t even call him by name.

Gokudera grit his teeth. His personal feelings aside, this was a problem. The Tenth would be really upset if he fought Hibari here, in this setting – their skirmishes at school were one thing, but today he was acting in an official capacity as a Vongola guardian, as the Tenth’s right hand man. It wouldn’t look good to fight one of his fellow guardians. Not to mention that Hibari was brutal in the way he fought – there was no way their battler’s watches would last even five minutes in a battle against him.

At least Yamamoto agreed with him, but Hibari wouldn’t let them go so easily. As Yamamoto released Kojiro from his necklace, however, Gokudera understood what he wanted to do. They wouldn’t be able to run away from Hibari under normal circumstances, but with rain flames…

Reluctantly, Gokudera equipped his Vongola Gear and threw his Zero Ignite bombs at Hibari to create a smokescreen. Once it was in place, he and Yamamoto started booking it in the opposite direction as Kojiro flew in and out of the smoke, coating Hibari in rain flames. As soon as he realized what they were up to, Hibari leapt out of the smokescreen after them, but the tranquility effect of the rain had already slowed him down considerably, so they easily outpaced him.

“We should try and find Tsuna,” Yamamoto said as they ran.

Gokudera twisted to look back at Hibari. He’d stopped chasing them, apparently seeing the futility of the task, and was just standing there, glaring at them as rain pelted down on him. Gokudera’s heart ached and he grimaced, turning back around. “…Yeah.”

Yamamoto glanced at him. “Are you okay? We got out of that with our watches intact, but you still seem really upset.”

“Of course I’m upset!” Gokudera snapped. “The nerve of that bastard – how could he betray us and fight for another team?!”

“…I mean, to be honest, it’s not like Hibari has ever really been on ‘our side’,” Yamamoto said with a chuckle. “He just joins us because his interests happen to line up with ours.”

“I know that, but—!” Gokudera clenched his teeth. “I thought…things might be different between us now…”

Yamamoto frowned. “Different? What do you mean?”

“Well, we—” Gokudera slowed and came to a halt. “…Never mind. It doesn’t matter now, anyway.”

“It must matter,” Yamamoto said, exasperated as he stopped next to him, “if it’s bothering you this much.”

Gokudera twisted his rings anxiously and reiterated, “It doesn’t matter, because he doesn’t give a shit about me, so why should I give a shit about him? Little punk…”

Yamamoto’s eyes softened as he put his hand on Gokudera’s shoulder. “Gokudera… What’s been going on with you two?”

…How did he even begin to explain? And did he really want to tell Yamamoto about this, of all people? But Yamamoto was persistent when it came to things that bothered Gokudera – he wouldn’t let it go any easier than Hibari had let them escape.

Gokudera sighed heavily. “…When we were in the future, did you find out anything about your future self? Like if he had…a romantic partner?”

Yamamoto tilted his head to the side. “You mean like how Ryouhei found out that his future self was dating Kurokawa?”

When Gokudera nodded, Yamamoto thought about it for a moment and then chuckled. “No, if he had anyone like that, I never found anything that suggested it. Why? Did yours?”

Gokudera couldn’t look at him. He scuffed his shoe against the pavement. “…Yeah, he did.”

“Really?” Yamamoto leaned forward. “Who was it? Someone we know?”

Gokudera clenched his fists. “…It was Hibari.”

Yamamoto blinked at him. “…Huh?”

“It was Hibari!’ Gokudera snapped. “My future self and his future self lived in that house together, were as close to married as they could be!”

Yamamoto seemed completely floored by this for a moment. “…Woah. I wouldn’t have guessed that.”

Gokudera turned away from him, anxiously fidgeting with his rings again. He regretted saying anything – what would Yamamoto think of him now? He—liked men, and clearly didn’t have good taste in them, to boot.

“So, wait,” Yamamoto said, “what does that have to do with you and him now? Do you like him too?”

Gokudera’s entire face flushed red as he turned back to yell at him, “I don’t fucking know!! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you – everything’s so fucking complicated between us, and he never makes anything easier! Just when I think maybe I might…and he might…you know…he turns around and wants to beat the shit out of me again! I can’t figure him out!!”

“…But you do like him?” Yamamoto asked, apparently preoccupied with this point.   

“I don’t—ugh, yes, probably!” Gokudera threw his hands up in the air. “But does it even fucking matter if he just thinks of me as some insignificant bug?!”

“…Have you ever talked to Hibari about any of this?”

Gokudera scoffed. “Hibari doesn’t talk. He fights.”

He paused. …Wait. If that was the case, then by choosing Fon’s side, was Hibari trying to fight him for fun, like usual…? But how was he supposed to know when Hibari fought everyone, regardless of if he liked them or not?!

“…I didn’t realize all of this was going on,” Yamamoto said. “I was wondering why you seemed even angrier than usual.”

“I just…I don’t know what to do anymore.” Gokudera ran his hand through his hair. “Maybe I should just throw in the towel. He’s impossible – I don’t know how my future self could stand to live with him.”

“You should at least try and talk to him,” Yamamoto said, exasperated. “It might all just be a misunderstanding—”

An alarm suddenly blared out of their watches as a voice loudly declared, “The battle has ended!”

“…Dammit!” Gokudera snarled. “We were totally useless!”

Yamamoto suddenly gripped his shoulder. “Gokudera. Talk to him, get this straightened out before the next battle. You won’t be able to focus if you—”

Gokudera shrugged him off. “Leave me alone – I’m done with him.”  

He stalked off, ignoring Yamamoto as he called out to him. This was the easiest option, really. Hibari was confusing and distracting, and he couldn’t afford any of that right now. Like Yamamoto said, he needed to focus on the representative battle, so he could help free Reborn from his curse and serve his boss well. So if he just gave up on Hibari, he wouldn’t have to think about him anymore. He wouldn’t have to waste all his time agonizing over it and trying to figure him out. He should’ve done this a long time ago.

He thought of the framed photos on his future self’s piano, of the pure happiness that he and Hibari had seemed to share, and his chest ached.

It was all so stupid, to believe that life really could’ve been his. His Hibari would never see him as anything more than an obnoxious punk.

--

Hibari watched Gokudera and Yamamoto run off, scowling after them.

His limbs were so sluggish, a noticeable delay between when he wanted to move and when the associated body part actually did. He hated that cowardly tranquility rain, and he swatted at it angrily as it continued to fall over him.

“They got you, Kyouya,” Fon said from the tree above him. “Those two aren’t bad. Gokudera was always so quick to fight, so I’m glad to see that he’s improved.”

Hibari tightened his grip around his tonfa. Was it an improvement, to run away like a coward? And why was he so resistant to fighting, anyway? They fought all the time – it was just another thing they did together, another way they spent time together. Hibari always enjoyed it, and he’d been looking forward to it today, too.

But Gokudera had run away from him. And he hadn’t been wearing the gift that Hibari had sewed for him.

He wanted to smash someone’s head in, but his battler’s watch went off, announcing the end of the battle. He’d destroyed Sasagawa’s watch, but it hadn’t been a real fight – he hadn’t been able to blow off any steam. All he was left with was emptiness, that damned, dreaded emptiness.

Fon leapt down from the tree and settled on top of Hibari’s head. He commented lightly, “The two of you seem close.”

“We’re not,” Hibari spat immediately, then hesitated. “…We shouldn’t be.”

“…But you want to be?”

Hibari had forgotten that his uncle was always so nosy. Anger swelled up in him, but then his arms fell limp at his sides. The truth was that, despite everything, he did want to be close to him. Since returning from the future, he’d fought back against Gokudera every opportunity he got, stayed away from him as much as possible so he’d never fall into the weakness his future self had. He’d turned his back on the family that kept trying to creep up on him, focused only on fighting people that annoyed him. He was a lone predator who didn’t need anyone, a tiger who only fought for himself.

So how did he end up enjoying Gokudera’s company so much? Why did he want him so badly? He thought of those happy photos in his future self’s piano room, the fact that he even had a piano room, and the future that had seemed so repulsive just a few months ago.

It didn’t seem repulsive now.

He bowed his head, clenching his teeth. “…Yeah. I’m just as weak as he is.”

“‘He’?” Fon prompted quietly.

“…My future self. The one who let Gokudera into his heart and home.”

Fon didn’t respond for a moment, so Hibari continued, “Do you believe in fate, Uncle?”

“…You’re worried that, since your future self also wanted and had a relationship with Gokudera, you must automatically do the same because of some predetermined path laid out before you?” Fon asked. He’d always been eerily good at reading people. 

“I don’t want anyone making my choices for me, not even something like fate,” Hibari growled.

“I don’t think anything is predetermined, even if it may be outside your control,” Fon said. “Don’t you think it’s more likely that there was a reason your future self fell in love with him, and that reason still exists for you?”

…Love. What a sickening, weak word. It couldn’t possibly be what he felt – he’d never loved anyone, and no one had ever loved him. Sure, he might want to kiss Gokudera, and bite him, and maybe even some other things, but that wasn’t—that couldn’t be—

He thought of all the fun times they’d had together, fighting and arguing and sitting on the roof together while Gokudera excitedly rambled on about Shitt P. He was wearing the tie Gokudera had made for him, the raptor patch poking out just above the last button of his jacket. It still wasn’t tied properly, some deeply submerged part of him apparently hoping it would prompt Gokudera to touch him again, put his hands near his throat. And he’d made Gokudera that gift, when he’d never sewn anything for anyone else before. He hadn’t wanted to think about what it meant at the time, but…

…Perhaps his uncle was right. There was a reason in the future, there was one now too, and Hibari found himself not wanting to ignore it anymore. It didn’t matter what his future self had done, or what he’d previously thought he wanted in life.

He just wanted Gokudera.

If only he hadn’t realized it so late. Because now Gokudera had turned his back on him, thrown everything they had together in the mud.

It was already over between them.

The relentless rain continued pouring down on him, as cold as he felt inside.

“…It doesn’t matter anymore, either way,” Hibari said finally. “He’s already made his feelings clear.”

“…He said he’s not interested?” Fon asked.

“He didn’t want to fight,” Hibari snarled. “It’s the same thing.” 

Fon sighed in exasperation. “He didn’t want to fight you in an official capacity, that hardly seems—”

But Hibari didn’t want to hear it. He was splitting in two, and the thought of his uncle of all people seeing him like that, the last person who did this to him, was unbearable. Hibari kept everyone at a distance so that no one would want him in the first place, let alone leave him behind. And yet he always was anyway. It had been raining that day too, as he recalled.

Or maybe it just felt like it should’ve been.

He set Fon down on the ground and stalked off, hating how slowly he moved, hating how the rain seemed to follow him wherever he went.

--

That evening, Gokudera found himself in Nami Middle’s music room, sitting at the piano.

It had still been ridiculously easy to break in, and no one confronted him on the way to the music room. Now that he was here, though, he had no idea why he’d come. Hadn’t he just resolved to give up on Hibari? And Hibari’s offer for him to come and play was probably null and void now that he’d turned his back on the Vongola. And Gokudera.

Gokudera leaned forward, pressing his forehead against the music stand. He ached all over, like Hibari had beaten him up anyway, and he was tired all the way to his bones. 

…Why couldn’t he just let him go? Wouldn’t life be so much easier without him?

He stared down at the piano keys. He was suddenly reminded of that time eons ago when Hibari had caught him in the piano room, playing his mother’s song. He would never forget that fragile look on his face, the unfiltered vulnerability that Hibari had likened to an open wound. And that was exactly what kept bringing Gokudera back: despite how often they fought and pushed back against one another, Gokudera felt like he understood Hibari, and Hibari understood him. They felt the same way after devastating losses; they had a similar, weird sense of humor; they shared an interest in the occult.

Gokudera had never felt so comfortable around another person before, like he could be his full self without care or worry. Even with the Tenth, he held himself back, not wanting to be too much, too annoying. But Hibari saw everything, and gave him everything in return.

How could he turn his back on that?

Sitting up again, Gokudera splayed his fingers over the keys, intending to play. Before he could work up the nerve to, however, something tucked against the back of the music stand caught his eye. Frowning, he reached for it and pulled it out. It was a small box, unassuming except for the mist flames that flickered around it. Mist flames usually hid objects, but for whatever reason, Gokudera could still see it.

There was only one person who could use mist flames and would leave a gift for him here.

Heart hammering in his throat, Gokudera wrestled with the box, trying to open it. It wasn’t taped shut or anything, but his hands were sweating so badly that he had to keep wiping them on his pants, and they shook so much that he dropped the box several times before he finally got it open.

Inside was a pair of fingerless gloves. They were dark red, matching the color of his storm flames and Vongola Gear, and each glove had a cat skull patch sewn onto the back.

Gokudera felt like he had been sucker punched. Had Hibari made these for him? He must have – it matched the raptor patch he’d put on his tie perfectly, and it was obviously made to go with his Vongola Gear. Who else could it have been?

…It wasn’t fair. Every time Gokudera made a decision about him, Hibari turned around and did something like this, making his heart pound and a goofy smile break out on his face. 

He wanted him so badly. He wanted to be his special person – he wanted the same happiness their future selves had found.

Didn’t he deserve to have that, too?

Hands still shaking, he clumsily pulled on the gloves. They fit perfectly, hugging his wrists and fingers snugly. He had no idea how Hibari could’ve possibly known what size his hands were, how he could’ve made something so precise, but his body was warm all over and his heart felt ready to burst right out of his chest.

He felt known.

Curling his hands reverently, Gokudera made a decision. And this time, there wasn’t a single doubt in his mind.

--

Hibari woke up in the hospital for the second time that week.

For a moment, he just laid there, disoriented and only aware of the pain dimly pulsing in his shoulder. As he woke up more, he realized that Hibird was nuzzled against his neck, one of her siblings on his other side. The window must be open in the room, but Hibari didn’t mind – it was calming to see his birds, and he reached up to gently pet Hibird’s head.

The last thing he remembered was protecting Sawada from that damn Jaeger and then getting stabbed through the shoulder. He must have blacked out after that. The humiliating defeat burned like bile in the back of his throat, but for once he couldn’t bring himself to be angry about it – he was just tired, so tired. At least Jaeger had been a worthy opponent. So worthy, in fact, that he didn’t know if they had won or not, if Sawada had prevailed. For all he knew, everyone could be injured like him, or worse. And what had happened to Gokudera? Had he been hurt? He knew he shouldn’t care, after Gokudera had turned his back on him, but he did – what would he do if he’d been…?

Someone snorted suddenly from somewhere nearby and Hibari flinched, his tonfa slipping into his hands. How had he not noticed earlier that someone was here—?!

He shot upright, unintentionally propelling the birds from his shoulders, and then immediately relaxed. Gokudera was in the chair beside his bed, his chin lowered to his chest, fast asleep. He wasn’t that injured, just a few bandages on his face and burn marks on his skin, which was a relief. And if he was here, then Sawada was doing well too, for Gokudera wouldn’t have left his side if he wasn’t.

Though that didn’t explain what he was doing in Hibari’s room.

For a moment, Hibari just watched him sleep. It was nice to have an opportunity to look at him without being caught in the act. His eyes followed the soft curve of his hair, the angle of his jaw, his beautifully marred skin, before dropping down to where his arms were crossed over his chest.

He stalled.

Gokudera was wearing the fingerless gloves he had sewn for him.

Warmth exploded in his chest and his heart started pounding faster, the monitor he was hooked up to beeping in tandem. If he was wearing those, then maybe, just maybe…

He waited impatiently for Gokudera to wake up. He thought about throwing something at him, or making a loud noise, but it didn’t seem like a good idea to start this conversation with a fight. As much as Hibari enjoyed them, they weren’t exactly productive.

As he waited, more and more of Hibird’s family slowly trickled in from the window, landing on Hibari, the furniture, Gokudera’s oblivious form. There were more than Hibari had ever seen in one place, though he wasn’t sure what was attracting them. Usually Hibird was the only one who actually spent time with him, but this was a whole flock, possibly the whole family. They landed on every centimeter of Gokudera, his head, his shoulders, his arms, his lap.

Soon, he was almost completely enveloped in feathery bodies, and this was what finally woke him from his slumber. He roused slowly, groaning as he blinked and raised his head.

And then noticed his predicament.  

“Wh—what the fuck?!” Gokudera shouted. He bolted upright, making all the birds take off in a giant vortex of squawking feathers. He waved his arms in front of his face to protect himself, but the birds just deftly darted out of the way. “Why are there so many of them?! I thought you just had the one—!”

Hibari shrugged. “You’re the one who left the window open.”

It was just a lucky guess, but the way Gokudera’s face flushed dark red confirmed his suspicions. “Ah, well… I didn’t want anyone to see me coming into your room and start asking annoying questions…”

Hibari suddenly felt as light and free as the birds. “What sort of questions?”

Gokudera glared at him as the birds finally settled down again, landing on the furniture around him. “I don’t know! Like what I was doing here…”

“And what are you doing here?”

Gokudera bristled. “I wanted to make sure you were okay! The last I heard, you were critically injured during the battle with Jaeger, and I didn’t know if you were even—!”

He cut off, his teeth grinding as he looked away.

Hibari blinked. “…You were worried about me?”

“I was worried about everyone!” Gokudera snapped, adorably flustered.

A smile threatened to form on Hibari’s face, and he had to fight to keep it at bay. “You’re not in everyone’s room. You’re in mine.”

“Of course I am!” Gokudera growled. “If you’d had the nerve to die before I could fucking talk to you about us, I would’ve killed you myself!”

Hibari stared at him, his heart pounding in his throat. He almost didn’t want to hear what Gokudera had to say, but he was here, and he was wearing the gloves. If there was ever a time to take a chance on them, it was now. “…I thought you turned your back on us.”

“…I thought I did, too,” Gokudera murmured. “Everything that’s happened between us recently has meant so much to me, but during the representative battle, you…you wouldn’t even call me by my name. I thought I didn’t matter at all to you. And I was so tired of agonizing over it, of doubting you and myself. I didn’t want to deal with it anymore.”

Hibari shook his head, baffled that Gokudera could possibly think he meant nothing to him. Hibari had never been interested in anyone like he was in Gokudera, had never allowed anyone else to see his vulnerabilities. But he’d never really said any of those things to him, had he? 

He struggled to figure out how to put it. “You’re the only person who’s ever come close to being a fellow carnivore.”

And it was the wrong thing to say, probably, but Gokudera burst out laughing, startling the birds closest to him. “Don’t start with that shit again – I don’t think I can handle it.”

That pesky smile tried to creep up Hibari’s lips again. “What changed your mind, then?”

“…The gloves.” Gokudera ran his thumb over one of the cat skull patches. “You knew what I liked, and they fit perfectly. I…haven’t ever felt known like that. Cared for like that.”

“Same here,” Hibari said.

Gokudera met his gaze suddenly, his eyes intense. The air was charged between them, like the whole world was holding its breath. 

“…I fought against this, us, for the longest time,” Hibari continued. “I hated the vulnerability I saw in myself in the future – he shared so much with your counterpart. It was a weakness, one I didn’t want any part of. I didn’t want to feel like anything I did was influenced by what I’d seen, either.”

“…And now?” Gokudera whispered. 

Hibari took a deep breath, then blurted out, “I’ve never done anything anyone’s told me to do before, so why should I start now? It may be a weakness, but…it’s my weakness. My choice.” 

Gokudera blinked at him, obviously surprised, but then he grinned widely. “Agreed. Shitopi helped me realize that our timeline is already so different from theirs, anyway – as far as we know, we never met the Shimon Family in that future, and the Arcobaleno had all been killed, so there couldn’t have been any representative battles. And if that’s all true, then anything else we do now has to be of our own accord.”

Gokudera suddenly looked down at his hands, twisting his rings around and around as his cheeks flushed bright red. “So I guess what I’m trying to say is…if I want to kiss you, I don’t see how that’s anyone’s business but yours and mine.”

Hibari’s pulse picked up, desire pumping through his veins. There were so many things he could say, like how much he wanted to kiss Gokudera and never let him go, but none of them came to him right then.

“Gokudera,” was all he could manage.

But it was enough – Gokudera met his eyes again, the same heat that was consuming Hibari clearly reflected in his expression. Hibari’s whole body thrummed with anticipation as Gokudera slowly stood from the chair and closed the distance between them, perching on the edge of the bed. He started to lean closer, but hesitated, so Hibari gripped the front of his shirt and pulled him the rest of the way, kissing him like his life depended on it. 

Gokudera was frozen for a moment, his hands hovering awkwardly in the air, but then he melted into the kiss as he reached back to tangle his fingers in Hibari’s hair. Sparks of pleasure tingled across Hibari’s scalp and he groaned, parting his mouth to bite at Gokudera’s lips. Gokudera exhaled harshly and opened his mouth too, deepening the kiss. He smelled like gunpowder but tasted like cigarettes, and his heat was addictive. They both pressed closer simultaneously, as even then it wasn’t—couldn’t be—enough.

They might have continued on like that forever if not for a sudden loud crash emanating from the other side of the wall. They flinched, hard enough that they almost knocked their heads together. Gokudera turned slightly to frown at the wall, but to Hibari’s delight, he didn’t pull away.

“What the hell was that?” he grumbled as Hibari scraped his teeth along the delicate skin behind his ear.

“Leave it,” he murmured. “We can bite them to death for disturbing us later.”

“Wow, it’s unlike you to delay beating someone up,” Gokudera teased, grinning. His lips were bruised, bleeding slightly from where Hibari had bitten him, but even then he was stunningly beautiful. Hibari cursed every moment he’d spent denying himself this.

“I can go take care of them now, if you want.”

He was just teasing too, but Gokudera’s fingers tightened in his hair, holding him in place. Something wild thrummed through Hibari. “No… I think they can do without us for a bit.”  

In Hibari’s experience, they probably couldn’t, but it was the last thing in the world he cared about just then.

He kissed Gokudera again, pulling him closer as the birds flew all around them.

--

“I still don’t know why we’re here,” Hibari grouched, slashing tall stalks of grass out of his face with his tonfa as he followed after Gokudera.

“As I’ve told you, many times, we’re looking for a nue!” Gokudera snapped as he paused to shine his flashlight on his map. They were getting closer to the specific coordinates where his paranormality magazine had reported multiple nue sightings, but the expansive grassland they were in didn’t have much of anything that could be used as a landmark, making it difficult to navigate. “If you didn’t want to come, you didn’t have to.”

Hibari scoffed. “I meant that, if we were looking for a nue, we wouldn’t find it here.”

“…What?!” Gokudera whirled around to face him. “And just what the hell do you mean by that?”

“You said we’re looking for a bird, something resembling a green pheasant,” Hibari said. “But this magazine says that nue are actually tiger-like creatures, with the head of a monkey and a snake for a tail. So we’d find them in a forest, not a grassland.”

He pulled out said magazine and shoved it in Gokudera’s face.

“Let me see that,” Gokudera grumbled, snatching it out of his hand and quickly scanning the article. “…Clearly this is all a fabrication! Chimeras like this are biologically unlikely, especially compared to the original nue reports that say they’re nocturnal, pheasant-like birds. Birds are taxonomic – birds make sense.”

“Then how do you know if you’ve seen a cryptid or just a normal bird?” Hibari shot back. “If you wanted to go birding, we could’ve gone anywhere, and during the day.”

Gokudera gritted his teeth. He should’ve known better than to invite Hibari on a date like this. Hibari was unpredictable, at times docile and other times extremely stubborn and irritating, which wasn’t exactly reassuring when they were walking around in the middle of a confusing grassland together at night. It was equally likely that they’d either have a good time, or they’d end up killing each other.

“Do you have to be so stubborn?” Gokudera growled. “I’m just trying to have a peaceful walk in the—”

He looked up from the magazine, only to find Hibari’s smirk half-hidden in the beam of his flashlight. Gokudera stalled, confused. “…Are you just messing with me?”

“I like it when you’re all worked up,” Hibari said, coming up beside him. “It’s cute.”

Gokudera rolled his eyes, hoping Hibari couldn’t see how hot his face was. “Thanks a lot.”

“Anyway, I’m well aware of your expertise. If you say we’ll see a cryptid here, then we will.”    

Gokudera blinked, touched by the unexpected confidence. Hibari didn’t usually have faith in much of anything, and to know that he was one of the rare things on that list made him feel warm.

Hibari stepped closer, tangling their fingers together as he leaned in to kiss him. Gokudera kissed him back, easily sinking into his warmth.

And while they were lost in each other, neither of them noticed the lanky green bird that strutted by, its feathers shimmering in the moonlight, or the monkey face that peered out at them from a nearby clump of tall grass, its tail hissing as it swished along the ground. But they’d see them next time – they didn’t need a glimpse of the future to be sure of that.