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“...Yeah…yeah, I know—but ugh just wait for me, okay? It’ll only be a couple more hours until we…”
Patrick tried his best to tune out Joe’s voice from only a few feet away. They were stranded on the side of the highway after their van had slammed into a tree. The air was bitterly cold, snow crunching beneath every step they took. Worst time for a crash to happen, huh?
Patrick kept his eyes fixed on the wrecked van while Joe continued talking, or rather arguing with the girl he was supposed to meet. Sucks for her, Patrick thought. Now she had to wait even longer to see Joe Trohman while Patrick was standing right here with him.
He sniffled as he brought his finger to wipe his nose. He took a glance at Joe and he looked understandably annoyed while talking to the girl on the other line.
“Hello? T-“ He looked at his phone then brought it back to his ear, “Hello?” Joe called before groaning in frustration.
He snapped his flip phone shut and shoved it into the pocket of his winter coat. His expression was tight with irritation, quiet curses slipping under his breath. He was clearly trying to act unfazed, but the furrow in his brows refused to ease as he walked back over to Patrick.
Patrick knew that if he were in her shoes, he’d never treat Joe that way. He’d be patient with him. Kind. Gentle, even. Because he knew Joe better than anyone could ever.
Joe peeled the wrapper off the bandage Patrick had been waiting for, crumpling the trash in his fist before stuffing it into the back pocket of his jeans. Then he carefully pressed the bandage against Patrick’s cheek, smoothing it into place with his thumb and zipping Patrick’s coat all the way.
He was so caring without even trying.
An awkward silence settled between them before Patrick finally spoke softly. “Thanks… she mad at you?” he asked, mostly just trying to keep the conversation going. If being jealous wasn’t hard enough, it was harder to pretend not to be.
Joe let out a quiet, breathy laugh and nodded, offering a small, pitying smile. “She canceled.”
“Oh.” Patrick glanced down at his wet converse in the snow, holding back his excitement. “I’m sorry, man.”
He didn’t know much about this girl, only that she constantly blew up Joe’s phone whenever they were performing. And every time Joe got off a call with her, he always seemed to be in a worse mood afterward, which made Patrick assume she was kind of a pain in the ass.
So honestly, it wasn’t surprising to Patrick that she’d suddenly started acting “annoying.” Though part of that feeling came from something uglier; envy.
Not because Joe was dating her, they weren’t even together, actually, but because it felt like Joe had started putting her before Patrick. Between the nonstop calls, texts, and sleepovers, for the past few months, Patrick barely got any time alone with him anymore. Not even after shows unless he forgot his phone in the van. The thought of being a second option scared him.
At some point, though, Patrick had something with Joe. The person he’d go to when he needed someone the most, his friend who’d hold him tight, Joe who’d kiss him for comfort. It was all meaningful and the touches just felt correct. That was the Joe he wished he still had but instead, he was losing him to a shitty situation ship.
“It’s whatever,” Joe sighed, his breath curling visibly through the freezing air. For some reason, he seemed unamused or almost as if he expected it. “So, what’re we doing now?”
“Andy found a café nearby,” Patrick replied. “After we file the report, we’re getting a ride to a hotel. We’re just waiting for his friend to show up.”
Joe nodded and walked beside Patrick as they headed back over to the rest of the guys, who were busy filming footage for Pete’s shitty DVD. Or just maybe secretly shitty to Joe. He didn’t have the balls to tell him it was a stupid idea.
A moment later, Joe’s phone rang. He pulled it out, glanced at the screen, and immediately declined the call. Then it rang again twice. Patrick glanced over each time, sniffling from the cold, his nose red and congested from the freezing weather.
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /
At the hotel check-in, Andy and Patrick stood at the front desk trying to sort everything out at the front desk while the rest of the guys brought in their necessities. Since it wasn’t just the band traveling with them, finding enough separate rooms for everyone was nearly impossible especially near the busiest holiday season. With how tight the budget already was, they were lucky to get any rooms at all, which meant all of them would have to squeeze together into just two rooms for the night.
Still, Patrick wouldn’t let it go. He kept pestering Andy, insisting that he and Joe should get their own room, using the excuse that they were the youngest out of everyone there. The thought of just booking an extra room was ridiculous to Andy.
“We are on a tight budget, y’know that, Patrick?” Andy argued, rubbing at his tired face. “We aren’t even supposed to be spending money right now. Not this amount, at least.”
But Patrick refused to budge, stubborn as ever, and after hours of driving Andy was too exhausted to keep fighting about it. It’d been more than 5 hours since the crash and the constant questioning combined with lack of food nearly fried their brains.
“Yeah, duh, I know. All i’m saying is that we enjoy our privacy, okay? It’s a one time thing anyway….”
Andy fixed his glasses and stared at Patrick while he rambled about how convenient this would be. He didn’t want to ask why this was so important to Patrick.
Eventually, with a long sigh, he gave in under the condition that Patrick would buy him food later. It was only for one night, after all. Patrick agreed almost instantly, face lighting up as if he had just won the lottery.
He and Andy spoke with the receptionist, carefully picking out the rooms until they reached the final recap. Patrick tapped his fingers against the marble countertop, half listening as the woman calculated the total and checked Andy’s ID.
“So, that’ll be three rooms, all with two beds, correct?”
Patrick straightened awkwardly before Andy spoke. “Oh, um, for the last room…” He tried to ignore the look Andy was giving him by scratching the side of his head. “Could that one be a single bed instead?”
“Oh my gooosh” Andy whispered while shaking his head in silent disapproval, clearly unimpressed by Patrick’s painfully obvious crush on Joe.
“Shut up, Andy” Patrick muttered quietly through his teeth and nudged Andy’s foot.
“Yeah, of course!” the receptionist said, typing quickly into her computer. “So, with that change, you’ll have…”
Her voice faded into the background as Patrick looked over his shoulder toward the lobby. Joe was sitting with the rest of the guys, talking casually while he waited. Patrick’s backpack rested on Joe’s lap, one of his arms draped over it as he leaned forward in his chair, listening to whatever story Pete was telling.
Once check in was finished, Patrick and Andy headed back over to them. Patrick rolled the room key card between his fingers, tapping it nervously against his palm while the group immediately dissolved into overlapping chatter. Andy started explaining who was staying where, pointing between people as everyone half listened.
Patrick turned toward Joe before Andy could say anything else. “Andy said we should share a room since we’re the youngest,” he lied smoothly, though the heat creeping up his neck made it feel far less convincing. To his surprise, Joe didn’t question it at all. If anything, he looked…relieved.
“That’s pretty nice, isn’t it?” Joe said with an easy grin stretching across his face. “They gave a separate room for the coolest people in here.”
He handed Patrick his backpack before swinging his own bag over his shoulder and grabbing his water bottle from the floor.
Patrick tried not to smile too hard. “I guess so.”
After saying their goodnights to the others, the two of them headed toward the elevator together to find their room. The ride up was quiet but comfortable, filled with the kind of shared tiredness that came after a long night. By the time they reached their room, both of them had started winding down automatically kicking off shoes, tossing backpacks onto the floor.
They stayed up talking for a while after getting ready for bed, their conversation bouncing lazily between random stories and half serious jokes until exhaustion finally caught up to them. Eventually, half of the lights clicked off, leaving the room dim and quiet except for the soft hum of the air conditioner.
Now they lay in a comfortable silence. A small part of Patrick had expected Joe to bring up the fact that the room only had one bed, but he never did. Honestly, Patrick was grateful for it. It meant he didn’t have to keep lying directly to Joe’s face.
Besides, it wasn’t exactly unusual for them. For god’s sake, they’d spent countless nights crammed together in the back of vans during long drives, half asleep and tangled up with each other by morning. Compared to that, sharing a hotel bed barely even registered.
“Hey, Joe?”
“Hm?” Joe turned his head slightly toward him, his voice rough with sleep.
Even though they were sharing the same bed, Patrick couldn’t help but think they somehow still felt too far apart. His crush on Joe wasn’t exactly a secret not to himself, and definitely not to Joe. Patrick was sure Joe noticed it in the little things like the lingering glances, the way Patrick always gravitated toward him, and the outright sex. But despite all of that, Joe had never treated him any differently. Never pushed him away. Never made him feel foolish for caring too much.
Patrick swallowed and quietly cleared his throat. “Do you think we could cuddle tonight?” The question came out softer than he intended, his ears burning from the sudden burst of sleepy courage. After a second, he added in an even quieter voice, “Like before.”
Joe’s expression softened immediately. A tired smile pulled at his lips, not annoyed or awkward, but warm in a way that made Patrick’s chest ache. The kind of smile that said ‘I’m exhausted, but I still care about you.’
Without saying anything else, Joe rolled onto his back and lifted the fluffy shared blanket, opening one arm in invitation. Patrick didn’t hesitate or think twice.
He shifted closer, slipping under the blanket until he could curl himself against Joe’s chest. The warmth of him was immediate and familiar, comforting in a way Patrick never really let himself think too hard about.
Joe wrapped his arms around him automatically, pulling him in tighter. “Better?”
Patrick nodded against his shoulder, “Mhm” he tangled one of his legs with Joe’s beneath the blankets.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered what Taylor would think if she saw this. She’d probably hate it. But they weren’t actually together, so technically it didn’t matter… right?
And honestly, Patrick had made peace with the fact that he liked being chosen. Liked knowing he was the person Joe reached for at the end of the night. Maybe it was selfish, maybe a little cruel sometimes, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel guilty when Joe held him this close. The beat of his heart was his favorite song and he wouldn’t dare share it with anyone else. Because at the end of the day, as long as he still got moments like this with Joe, Patrick didn’t really care about anything else.
“Are you jealous?” Joe suddenly said, abruptly stopping Patrick’s thoughts.
“What?” His heart began to race.
Joe chuckled, “I don’t know. About Taylor, are you jealous?” His fingers ran through Patrick’s hair so he couldn’t possibly be mad, “I mean, I don’t care if you are, I just want to know.” He added.
It was obvious he was thinking about Patrick’s crush on him. Why else would he ask?
“I guess a little,” Patrick squeezed Joe a little tighter while confessing. “You don’t spend time with me anymore like before.”
“Is that why you told Andy to book us a separate hotel?” He could feel Patrick get tense.
Patrick slowly nodded without thinking. Fuck. He couldn’t even think of a dumb lie before his body reacted. Was it that obvious?
“Look at me,” he said softly, tilting Patrick’s chin up before kissing him gently. The familiar warmth of it made both of their stomachs flutter. Being together like this just felt right, like this was exactly where they were meant to be and didn’t need saving.
“Listen, I don’t mind if you did. I actually prefer it this way— I like having this alone time with you, and I wouldn’t want to share that with anyone else. Not even another girl, alright?”
Patrick paused at hearing those words come out of Joe’s mouth. He nodded quickly and adjusted himself comfortably onto Joe’s lap under the sheets. It wasn’t anything sexual for either of them. It never really had been. It was about love, and the obvious crush they’d both had on each other for a long time. Having Patrick close like this made Joe feel calmer, like maybe everything would turn out okay after all.
Patrick rested his head against Joe’s chest, listening to the quick rhythm of his heartbeat. Joe wrapped both arms around him tightly before lifting one hand to thread his fingers through Patrick’s soft hair.
Then, softly, “M sorry.”
Patrick lifted his head, confused. “About?”
“About Taylor. Maybe… the person I really want has been here all along.” Joe smiled faintly before pressing a gentle kiss to Patrick’s lips.
Patrick felt his chest bloom with warmth. Oh my god. Joe really changed his mind… he wants to be with me.The thought screamed in his head, he thought maybe Joe could hear it.
”Do you mean it?”
“Would it be a bad idea for you to be my boyfriend?” Joe asked quietly, brushing Patrick’s bangs aside.
Patrick’s smile came instantly, impossibly bright. He shook his head and kissed Joe again. “No,” he murmured against his lips, “not at all.”
When they pulled apart, they just sat there for a second, staring into each other’s matching blue eyes like two idiots completely high on each other. Smiling warmly, Joe brushed the back of his finger against the little bandaid on Patrick’s face.
“Still hurt?” he asked.
Patrick shook his head immediately, all shy and sweet about it. Joe swore he was way too cute for a normal person to handle. Seriously, looking away from Patrick should’ve counted as an actual skill. He wondered what he could’ve possibly done in his past life to deserve someone as attractive as Patrick.
“Good,” Joe said with a grin. “Gotta make sure my boyfriend’s okay.”
Patrick instantly burst into embarrassed giggles, ducking his now hot face into Joe’s neck while trying to hide. In the process, Joe turned both of them onto their side. He giggled and took the opportunity to completely attack Patrick’s face with kisses, holding onto his hips the whole time like he was scared Patrick might somehow disappear if he let go for even a second. Patrick finally got to cup Joe’s cheeks, bringing him into a long, needed kiss.
The kiss lasted longer than either of them expected, Patrick getting a little greedy and slipping his tongue into Joe’s mouth. They only pulled apart once their lips started feeling tired, but even then, they stayed close enough for their noses to brush.
“I don’t want you talking to anyone else anymore, Joe,” Patrick whispered quietly.
Joe didn’t argue. He just nodded and turned Patrick around so he could pull him closer against his chest again. Their fingers laced together naturally while Joe buried his face into Patrick’s hair, holding him tight. A few minutes later, they’d both drifted off to sleep wrapped up in each other, sharing warmth under the blankets like neither of them ever wanted to let go.