Chapter Text
"Rui has always been.. different. But especially since **he's** been hanging out with Akiyama."
They're gossiping about me and Akiyama-chan again. Can't they accept the fact me and Mizuki are just as normal as them.
"Kamishiro-kun could you stop staring at us you freak."
That startled me slightly. I nodded and speeded my way to the roof top.
Damn it - I forgot Akiyama wasn't in today. I guess I'll have to eat alone. Again.
A bang startled me. It’s them boys again. Why won’t they just leave me alone. I don’t fight back so why do they get so much satisfaction out of beating me till I look half dead.
I was met with a bash at the side of my head. My ears ringing. Why me. **why me..**
“Say something damnit!”
“It’s no use he won’t give us a reaction. Let’s just hope that toilet bowl will be tasty tomorrow Kamishiro-chan!”
They threw me against the concrete with all their force before running off giggling like psychopaths.
My head hurts. Did I take my meds? Why am I asking myself that, I never do. Forget it, I’m not coming in tomorrow.
*Timeskip to when Rui arrives home*
I'm finally home. I'll have to shower tonight since they spilt milk all over me today.
I've not written in my diary since the start of middle school. The pages still make me cringe but I didn't get a chance to talk to anyone I trust today since Mom and Dad are still on work trips and visiting grandma, and Akiyama was allowed to skip school. I guess writing a page or two won't hurt.
*Dear, Diary.*
*Why do I feel this way. I mean I get that I've always been into more masculine hobbies but why do I feel like a woman. I want it to stop but its gruelling. Everytime I hear someone call my name I know no one will ever see me as a woman. Only Akiyama understands since she faces the same problem. I'm scared tho - I'm not as confidence to tell my family. Unlike Akiyama, I'm terrified. What is this feeling and why won't it stop.*
God I'm so cringe.
My life fucking sucks. I wake up, scramble my room for my uniform, get to school, my classmates beat me up in the bathroom while I’m trying to have a styro sesh, I go to the roof with Mizuki if she’s even in, I get home, cut myself and go to sleep. That reminds me.
I retrieve my box cutter and razor, they’re both starting to rust slightly due to the fact I use them so much. Not like I care, why would I care.
My wrist are still throbbing from this morning. Can’t my body just get a fucking grip.
**Ding!**
Oh- It’s Mizuki!! Wait- it’s just her liking my story, never mind.. I’m starting to question if she even likes me.
Not like I care, right?..