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There’s nothing left for me here anyways

Summary:

“You shouldn’t smoke, y’know.”

“Why not?”

Title from how is it already October by Wifiskeleton

Notes:

I'll do some clownzy next week. this is short and almost sweet.

Work Text:

“You shouldn’t smoke, y’know.”

“Why not?”

Wifies smiled, settling next to Ken, watching her blow a clumsy ring into the night sky.

“You really want to know?”

“Yep. I’m not taking a claim without evidence.”

“Well, it’s the biggest cause of preventable death and disease.” Wifies’s eyes lingered on Ken, on the cigarette between his fingers. “It decreases your bone density, and narrows blood vessels.”

“Why would I care about my blood vessels?”

“It’s a key cause of erectile dysfunction.”

Ken snorted, exhaling smoke through her nose, and shot Wifies a grin.

“Alright. You got me there.”

Wifies smiled right back, leaning over, and taking the cigarette gently from Ken’s fingers. Just to place the tip between his lips, and breathe in slightly, exhaling without breaking eye contact.

“And… it tastes awful.” He handed it back, satisfied with the vaguely besotted look in Ken’s eyes. “Something bothering you?”

“We just, like- kissed.”

“Sure.”

“C’mon, that was- oh my god, seriously?”

Ken rolled his eyes, and Wifies smirked, eyes lingering. So easy to wind up, honestly. It was cute.

Even cuter now, when neither of them were quite sober for their own reasons, and Ken took another drag of her cigarette, leaning over to rest her head on his shoulder.

Wifies watched him exhale smoke, tracing it into the inky darkness until it vanished into the same layer of particles obscuring the stars.

“You’re contributing to air pollution.”

“So what?” Ken smiled sadly, moving the cigarette away. “Can’t be worse than what they’ve done already.”

“The little things matter, though.”

“No one seems to think I matter.”

Wifies looked down, slipping his arm around Ken’s waist, and kissing his head, just gently enough to feel him stiffen, then relax, with a soft sigh.

“You matter, Ken. Don’t say that.”

“They said that about the atmosphere.”

Both of their eyes roved up the buildings on the horizon, tracing their own paths through the concrete monoliths, all the way to where they punctured the sky, leaking pure darkness across where stars should have been.

“Hey, if there are aliens out there, we’re probably never going to find them.” Wifies was looking for a reaction, and got one, with a small, questioning noise from Ken as she took another breath of smoke in and out. “If they send us anything, we’ll never see it. Not until it’s close enough to kill us.”

“Huh. That’s sad, though.”

Wifies shrugged, adjusting Ken, not taking his eyes off the pure black sky.

“Saves us from having to worry about it.”

“Humans can’t even handle themselves…”

Ken made a sad noise, holding out the cigarette for Wifies. He took it, the taste of smoke evening out into almost pleasant, then handed it back.

“I don’t know. It’s just a few people, getting it very wrong.”

“They’re the powerful ones. Maybe… we’re getting it wrong, if they’re in charge.”

“Can’t really have any power and morals too.”

“I think you can.” Ken moved, this time, shooting him a pouty sort of glare. “How else would we have hospitals?”

“Those are to make a profit.”

“Universities.”

“Education is immoral.” Wifies grinned, taking Ken’s cigarette again, blowing smoke just shy of his eyes. “Makes you know what’s wrong with everything in this world.”

“Guess we should drop out, then.”

“Guess so.”

Ken snuggled closer. Wifies let her. It was cold out here, and the end of the cigarette was hogging all its warmth to itself. Just a single dot of burning heat, amidst a freezing landscape, not sharing a single spark.

“We’re not going to do that, though.” Her voice was softer, dreamy in the way of someone too young to know what smoking was meant to do, and improvising instead. “Where else are we meant to go?”

“To a commune? Start a cult?”

“Nah… that’s loads of effort…”

“Oh, Ken. You need to dream bigger. Cults are a right of passage, for academics.”

“No they’re not…”

“They are.” Wifies looked down, feigning surprise at this fact he’d made up out of nowhere. “Don’t you know?”

Ken frowned, then looked back up at him, and there was that addictive edge of uncertainty, like he wasn’t quite sure what to believe.

“We’re not joining a cult.”

“Of course not. We’ll start one.”

“No. That’s lying.”

“What’s wrong with a little lying, Kenadian?”

“Everything.” Ken was pouting, now, cigarette dangling over the edge of the roof as he rested his wrist on her knee. “People lie too much. They said we’d still be able to see the stars.”

“And we can.”

Ken looked up. It was sweet, how she still believed him. Wifies watched dark brown eyes rove across the night sky, searching, saw the edge of desperation that marked him as a year younger, a year less wise to the world.

“…no, we can’t.”

Wifies squeezed his waist comfortingly, and nuzzled against Ken’s hair.

“See? You almost believed it.”

“But… I didn’t. And the stars still aren’t there.”

“They’re there. They’re just out of reach.”

Ken would get it. He always got it. Wifies waited, one, two, three…

“They’re safe from us.”

Ken said it like a prayer, smiling slightly, and Wifies hummed.

“We’ll only ever kill ourselves. Nothing to lose but our lives, right?”

He could see Ken’s teeth, gleaming in the moonlight as she grinned, looking out with that taste of brutal adoration Wifies loved.

“Right. Right!”

“See that?” Wifies pointed, still leaning over Ken, at a blinking light, almost too close to the skyline not to send shivers down their spines. “That’s one of our stars.”

“It- it looks like it’s going to crash.”

“Yeah. Yeah, it does, doesn’t it?”

“And I thought I was being depressed tonight.” Ken giggled, and raised his cigarette again, before making a noise of disgust. “Ok, this is- gross.”

“I’ll take it.”

Wifies lowered his hand, letting Ken pass it over, detangling their fingers gently as he raised it to his lips.

The smoke flowed through his body, flattening out his thoughts, making the blinking light look like a real star, just for a moment.

“Smoking’s bad for you, y’know.”

Ken’s voice was sing-song, leaning into Wifies’s side, coaxing a small smile from him.

“Oh, I know. But it’s not like any of us are making it long.”

“I want to… live long enough to see the stars again.”

“And I’m sure you will.”

“Is that another lie?”