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"Ugh!" Jay grunted from the living room. "Stupid... stupid!"
Kai sighed. For some reason, both Jay and Cole had been super pissy for nearly a week. Initially, Kai assumed that they must have had some kind of fight, but neither of them would admit to it. He'd asked Zane and Nya, but neither of them seemed to know what was up, either. Lloyd, on the other hand, shared his theory that they certainly hadn't had a big blowout— if they had, they'd be acting even worse.
There was a loud thump, then a sharp yelp of pain. "Stupid!" Jay whined again.
Kai had had enough. The others were out on a mission, so it was just the two of them. He marched into the living room and crossed his arms as he loomed over Jay, who was sat on the floor with his foot in his hands. "What is going on with you?"
He frowned. "I stubbed my toe on the— on the stupid—"
"No, man. What's going on with you? You've been mad all the time!"
"Ugh... it's nothing."
"It clearly is something, dude, 'cause you've been acting like a dick!"
Jay scoffed. "You wouldn't get it."
"Try me. Come on. Why wouldn't I get it?"
Jay dragged himself over to the couch, flopped down, and sighed. "You're single."
"...What?!"
"You act like you know all about dating, but you're single! What's up with that, huh?! So yeah, you wouldn't get it!"
Kai took a deep breath. He'd already made a promise to say nothing until they'd gotten their bearings, so he couldn't risk blowing up now and saying too much. "Uh huh. Sure. But I have dated people before. Just fess up and tell me what's wrong. You two didn't fight, did you?"
"Well... no! We didn't have a fight! He just—" Jay groaned. "He still hasn't told me he loves me!"
Kai blinked. "Uh... okay, I wasn't expecting that."
"It's been a long time, and he still won't say it! Like, does he even love me at all?! It makes me feel... ugh, bad!"
"Alright, hold on. Have you talked to Cole about any of this?"
"Uh, no? Are you kidding? What am I supposed to do, walk up to him and demand he say it?"
Kai sighed. "Dude, real talk for a second: he probably has no idea that you're upset about it if you haven't said anything."
"But it's such a— a tiny, easy thing to do! So why wouldn't he have just said it unless he doesn't actually care enough to say it?!"
"I don't know! Maybe he's nervous about it! I'm not Cole!"
"Yeah, well... that doesn't make it suck less."
Kai leaned against the back of the couch. "Man, it's been months since we caught you making out in that closet. I would've thought you'd have figured all this shit out by now."
"I know! That's what I'm saying!"
"No, I mean—" He cut himself off and sighed. "Forget it. Just think about what I said, alright?"
"Yeah, whatever. I'm not trusting you about relationships. You're terrible with women."
"Just 'cause I'm bad with women doesn't mean I can't learn things."
"Y— wait, you're actually admitting to it?"
"Like I said. Now worry about your own problems." He pushed himself upright with an arm and left.
——
A soft knock. "Hey, Kai?" Cole said. "Can I come in?"
Just as he was about to get some beauty sleep... "Yeah, come in," Kai sighed. He sat up and pulled his blankets around his sides.
He let himself in and shut the door behind him. "I, uh... wanted to talk to you about something."
"Uh huh."
"I feel like you'll be honest with me and just tell me how it is..."
"Uh huh."
Cole crossed his arms. "Do you think... Jay wants to break up with me?"
Oh, fuck, seriously? "Uh, no? Why?"
"He's never said that he loves me. Not even once."
"Wait, huh?"
"Yeah. Not even one time. He's never said it."
Kai bit back a scream. Jay was a real piece of work.
"Maybe that doesn't seem like a big deal, but it's... it sucks. And he's been all mad at me lately."
"So... have you told him you love him?" Kai asked as steadily as possible.
"Uh..." He shifted his posture. "Well, the timing's just... never been good."
Man, Cole was a real piece of work, too!
"Okay... okay, just... just hear me out..." Kai rubbed his face. "Maybe you should tell him... that you love him... even if he hasn't said it yet."
"But..."
"Maybe he's just as worried about this as you. Who knows!" Kai forced a small smile. "Just talk to him about it."
"But what if—"
"Just talk to him about it."
"I can't just—"
"Just talk to him about it!"
Cole frowned. "I wanted some brutal honesty, that's why I came to you. Are you just saying whatever?"
"...Cole. Look me in my fucking eyes. Just tell him you love him."
"It's not that easy!"
"You wanted brutal honesty? That's my brutal honesty. Tell him 'I love you.' Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a good night's sleep."
"Man..." Cole left without another word.
Kai was going to kill both of those idiots.
——
Dinner was completely unbearable.
Lloyd had thought, given all the tension lately, it would be a good idea to go out to eat as a team and try to have some fun. But apparently, after their chats with Kai, both of them had only gotten more snippy. Basically, they did the opposite of what Kai told both of them to do.
He stirred his noodles silently, just as everyone else remained silent. The atmosphere was suffocating.
"Jay. Would you pass me the salt?" Cole asked slowly.
Oh, fuck, no.
"Why, Cole, of course I can pass you the salt!" Jay said through gritted teeth. He grabbed the salt and slammed it in front of Cole.
"You trying to break it?"
Jay's eye twitched. "Of course not. Of course not."
"So what's your problem?!" Cole almost growled.
"Why don't you ask yourself that?!"
Kai buried his face in his hands.
"Guys, come on," Nya said. "Both of you need to calm down."
"I am calm! I am so calm!" Jay replied. "Cole, how about you calm down?!"
"If anyone's not calm here, it's you!"
"Did you just raise your voice at me?!"
Kai watched in mild horror as Cole slammed the table with a fist and stood up to get in Jay's face.
"Guys!" Lloyd snapped. "We're in public!"
"Chill out!" Nya agreed.
"I don't think I care anymore!" Cole said.
"That's hilarious! Another thing you don't care about!" Jay barked with a dark smirk.
"What did you say?!"
Everyone in the restaurant was staring at them. Kai clocked out and watched silently; this was just too much for him.
"Perhaps you should work out your disagreement at another time," Zane suggested.
"What disagreement?!" Jay asked.
"You must be fighting for a reason. Whatever it is, now is not the time," Zane explained.
"Oh, I think we're already on the same page," Cole said, glare at Jay unbroken.
"So do I!" Jay glared back at him.
"You don't love me!" They both shouted in unison.
Kai groaned and buried his head in his hands again.
"What?! How dare you!" Cole said. "How could you say that?!"
"How could YOU say that?! You've never even told me you love me, not one time!"
"Excuse me?! You've never said you love me, either!"
People were whispering. Some wait staff were running off somewhere, while a few others watched. At this point, the rest of the ninja were too baffled and mortified to say or do anything.
"Just because I haven't said it doesn't mean I don't!" Jay hissed through clenched teeth.
"So how come you're acting like I must not love you, then, just because I haven't said it?! You're a hypocrite!"
"YOU'RE a hypocrite! You'd just say it if you actually gave a shit!"
"Fine! I fucking love you, okay?! Is that what you wanna hear?!"
"Well, I love you, too!" Jay screamed.
The both glared at each other, panting.
"Well! There! Alright! Are you happy?!" Cole huffed.
"...Maybe!" Jay shouted.
He put a hand on the blue ninja's shoulder. "Great!"
They paused for a moment, then kissed each other.
A few claps. Some more. A handful of confused people gave a hesitant applause, then some more joined in.
Kai stood and waved an arm. "Stop! Stop clapping! They don't deserve it!"
"You wanna just leave?" Nya muttered to Lloyd. "Make them pay the bill?"
Lloyd had a look on his face like he'd just watched a small animal die. He didn't respond.
Kai growled. "You dumb pieces of shit... I'm gonna kill you both...!"
A well-dressed woman approached the table with their waiter in tow, very obviously the manager or owner about to tell them to leave. Kai got up and walked right out before she could say anything.
Fuck those guys.