Chapter Text
the rain hadn't stopped since noon.
it tapped softly against the windshield as ben parker drove through queens with both hands tight on the steering wheel. beside him, may parker sat unnaturally still, clutching a tiny blue backpack in her lap like it might fall apart if she loosened her grip.
in the back sat a six-year-old peter parker.
silent.
too silent for a child his age.
his small sneakers dangled above the floorboard, wet from puddles outside the precinct. the police officer gave him hot chocolate earlier. peter had thanked him politely, taken two tiny sips, and then just stared at the paper cup until it went cold.
now he stared out the car window instead.
streetlights blurred in the rain.
may turned slightly in her seat. "you hungry, sweetheart?"
peter shook his head without looking away from the glass.
his voice was tiny when he finally spoke. "are we going home now?"
the question nearly shattered the woman.
ben's grip tightened on the wheel.
home.
not their apartment.
not the old house in forest hills where richard and mary parker would never walk through the door again.
may swallowed hard before answering carefully. "you're coming home with us tonight, honey."
peter finally looked over.
big brown eyes. red-rimmed from crying himself empty hours ago.
"when are mommy and daddy coming back?"
the car went quiet except for the rain.
ben had glanced toward may helplessly. they'd answered versions of the question three times already at the station. each time peter seemed to have forgotton again. or maybe...he just hoped the answer would change.
may unbuckled her seatbelt enough to turn around fully.
"oh, peter..."
her voice cracked.
the boy immediately looked guilty for upsetting her.
"i'm sorry," he whispered automatically.
that hurt even more.
may reached back and took his tiny hand. "no, baby, you don't have to apoligize."
peter stared at their hands fo a long moment.
"they said..." his lip trembled suddenly. "they said the car...got crushed."
ben closed his eyes briefly at the red light.
nobody should have to explain death to a six-year-old.
especially not like this.
peter's breathing started shaking. "daddy promised we'd go to the science museum tomorrow."
may's eyes filled instantly.
"oh, sweetheart..."
"a-and mommy said that she w-was gonna make pancakes i-in the shape of d-dinosaurs."
the tears came suddenly after that.
not loud.
not dramatic.
just small, broken little sobs from the backseat of a car while the rain kept falling outside.
may climbed halfway over the console without caring how awkward it was and gathered peter into her arms as best as she could. he folded into her instantly, like he'd been trying not to fall apart for hours and finally couldn't hold it anymore.
"i want my mom," he cried into may's coat.
ben had to blink hard at the road ahead.
"i know, buddy," he whispered thickly. "i know."
✎ᝰ.
the apartment felt too small that night.
may had rushed ahead to set up the pullout couch with blankets while ben helped peter inside. the boy stood near the doorway dripping rainwater onto the carpet, clutching the blue backpack to his chest.
he looked terrified.
like if he moved too much, he'd somehow be in the wrong place.
may knelt in front of him gently. "you can take your shoes off, honey."
peter obeyed immediately.
too immediately.
every movement careful. quiet. polite.
like he was trying to be easy.
ben recognized that look. kids got it after trauma sometimes. like behaving perfectly could stop more bad things from happening.
may held up a pair of fuzzy socks. "these are mine, but i think they'll fit you way better."
peter had stared at them.
then right back at her.
"thank you," he whispered.
his voice sounded painfully adult for a child.
may helped him change while ben disappeared into the kitchen just long enough to wipe his eyes.
when he came back out, peter was sitting stiffly on the couch bed with the backpack still clutched to his chest.
ben sat beside him carefully.
"what've you got in there, pete?"
peter had unzipped the backpack slowly.
inside was a toy dinosaur, two crayons, and a framed photo.
richard and mary smiling on a beach somewhere.
peter touched the glass carefully with tiny fingers.
"i d-don't wanna forget their faces," he admitted softly.
ben felt something crack inside his chest.
"you won't," he promised immediately.
peter looked uncertain.
"what if i do?"
may sat beside him on the other side, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.
"then we'll remember with you," she whispered.
peter stared down at the photo for a long time.
then very quietly:
"can i still call you uncle ben and aunt may?"
may let out a shaky breath that almost sounded like a sob.
"oh, sweetheart," she said, pulling him close again. "you can call us whatever makes you feel safe and comfortable."
for the first tme all night, peter leaned into the hug instead of sitting rigidly through it.
ben reached over and rubbed the kid's tiny back gently.
outside, thunder rolled across queens.
inside, a grieving little boy finally fell asleep curled between the only family he had left.
✎ᝰ.
peter woke up screaming.
it happened sometime after two in the morning.
one second the apartment was quiet, and the next there was a terrified cry from the living room that jolted ben and may awake instantly.
"MOM-!"
ben was already moving before he fully woke up.
peter was tangled in the blankets on the pullout couch, breathing hard and panicked, tears streaming down his face. for one awful second, his eyes darted around the room wildly like he didn't know where he was.
then reality hit him again.
his expression crumpled.
"oh," he whispered.
that tiny sound nearly killed may.
she hurried over first, kneeling beside the couch. "hey, hey, sweetheart, it's okay. you're okay."
peter rubbed at his face furiously with the sleeves of may's borrowed pajamas. "sorry," he mumbled automatically. "i didn't mean to yell."
ben exchanged a look with may.
there it was again.
that apology.
that desperate need to not be a problem.
"you, peter, never have to apoligize for being scared," ben said gently, sitting on the edge of the couch.
peter looked down at the blankets in his lap. "i had a bad dream."
may brushed damp curls back from his forehead. "do you wanna talk about it?"
he hesitated.
then gave a tiny shrug.
"the car...it wouldn't stop."
the room went silent.
peter's voice trembled as he stared at his hands, "daddy was trying to turn the wheel and mommy told me to close my eyes but i didn't close them fast enough."
ben felt physically sick hearing it.
peter sniffled hard, "i keep hearing the glass break."
may's eyes filled immediately. she pulled him carefully into her lap despite him being a little too big for it now. peter went without resistance, curling against her chest like he was much younger than six.
"you don't have to think about that tonight," she whispered.
"but what if i forget them?"
"you won't"
"but what if i do?" peter's voice cracked, "what if i forget what mommy sounded like?"
may held him tighter.
"you know what we'll do?" she said softly, "tomorrow, we'll write down every single thing you remember about them. every story. every favorite food. every joke your dad ever told."
peter looked up slightly.
"really?"
"really."
ben nodded. "your parents were pretty unforgettable people, kiddo."
a tiny smile flickeredd for half a second at that.
"daddy was bad at cooking," peter whispered.
ben huffed softly. "that's true."
"he burned grilled cheese once."
"twice," ben corrected gently.
peter let out the faintest watery laugh.
it disappeared quickly, but both adults noticed it anyway.
may rubbed slow circles against his back. "do you want to try sleeping again petey?"
peter's face immediately tighted with fear.
ben saw it.
"you don't gotta sleep alone tonight," he said before the kid could panic further.
peter blinked. "i don't?"
may shook her head, "not if you don't want to."
within minutes, peter was tucked between them in their bed.
he tried to stay very still.
too still.
like he was afraid of taking up too much space would upset them.
may noticed immediately. "honey, you can move."
peter looked uncertan. "a-are you sure?"
ben's heart broke all over again.
"pete," he said quietly, "you're family. you don't ever have to ask permission to exist here, with us."
peter stared at him in the dark.
family.
that word clearly did something to him.
his small fingers slowly reached out until they caught the sleeve of ben's shirt in a tight fist, like he needed proof someone was still there.
ben pretended not to notice the death grip.
after a few quiet minutes, peter spoke again.
"uncle ben?"
"yeah, buddy?"
"did my dad know that he was going to die?"
the question hit like a punch.
may closed her eyes briefly.
ben answered the heartbreaking question carefully, "no. i don't think so kiddo."
peter swallowed hard. "were they scared?"
ben reached over, resting a warm hand against the boy's messy hair.
"i think," he said softly, "your mom and dad loved you so much that all they cared about was keeping you safe."
peter's eyes started watering again.
"they did?"
"more than anything."
the little boy finally started crying quietly into the pillow.
not the sharp, panicked sobs from earlier.
just grief.
pure and simple.
may stroked his back while ben kept his hand in peter's hair until eventually the child cried himself to sleep between them.
long after peter was asleep, neither adult moved.
ben started at the ceiling in the dark.
"we can do this," may whispered shakily beside him.
ben looked over at the sleeping boy curled against may's side.
peter's tiny fist was still wrapped tightly in ben's sleeve, even in his sleep.
ben swallowed hard.
"yeah," he whispered back. "we have to."