Chapter Text
Getting old was not something I really prepared for.
Yes, you think about it when you see your grandparents, or when you're unfortunate enough to need to attend a funeral, but it wasn't really on my radar before coming to Erid. Now, it's almost all I can think about.
Counting the years since I left Earth hasn't been a walk in the park. Considering time dilation and Erid's shorter orbital cycle is hard enough as it is. Instead, I started counting my age by my body's changes, much to Rocky's chagrin.
After two Eridian school cycles, I noticed my first wrinkle. (Rocky was very disgusted by this and made a comment on how I was a leaky space blob).
About 10 school cycles later, the arthritis hit me like a son of a biscuit. I started needing a cane to walk down the steps from my house, and especially when teaching, (standing up for eight hours a day is tough as it is)! The Eridians, by which I mean Adrian and their coworkers in the new "keep the human alive" thrum, made some sort of cream that helps ease the pain a bit, but nothing can stop the inevitability of 2.088G.
Most recently, however, my heart decided to give me grief.
Rocky had come scurrying up to me in full Eridian panic mode. This generally involves bumping into my coffee table, waving his arms frantically, and making noises so high-pitched I didn't even want to know what the Hz were.
Once he was able to calm down to a frequency I could hear, he told me that my heart was making weird sounds. "Bad bad bad sounds! Dying pebble sounds!" This prompted me to give Armando a visit. When your friend who can hear through walls tells you he can hear your heart dying, you listen.
Armando proceeded to give me an EKG (I didn't even know he even had all that equipment!) and diagnosed me with AFib.
Well, I guess I should have seen this coming. It's quite common among older members of my family, and not even 11.9 light-years away can I escape genetics. By my estimates, I probably only have a few more Earth years left to live, probably less due to the strain the gravity is putting on me. There's only so much a human can stand.
I want to say that I've really come to peace with it this time. I want to be able to look Rocky in the carapace and say, "I'm okay, I'm really ready," but I know that's not the truth. After everything Rocky and Adrian have done for me, after all we've been through, I owe them the truth.
So instead, we awkwardly dance around the subject and pretend like nothing's wrong; the basis for every healthy relationship.
It usually starts when Rocky or Adrian brings up something they are excited about, like their decision to have children together. I'm so happy for them, and even happier that they're happy. Then they talk about me coming over to see the pebbles when they hatch. I give a tight smile, make a joke about needing to baby-proof and Grace-proof their home, followed by a joke from Rocky about how he already knows I'm less graceful than his soon-to-be children.
Then the ominous silence. Normally, I like silence between us; it gives me time to think and feel comforted by each other's presence. But this silence is its own form of tarnation. It's the idiomatic "elephant in the room." An elephant that walked in uninvited and refuses to leave.
More than anything in the universe, I want to spend more time with them. I want to be a part of their family. I want to have long talks with Adrian about science while Rocky sits in the corner and works on one of his projects. I want to meet their pebbles and play catch with them on the beach. I want to keep watching movies with Rocky. I want to get back to the classroom. I want not just to live, but to have a life.
My reminiscing breaks when I hear several loud knocks at the door.
Over my time in Erid, Rocky and I have created a knocking system of sorts. Three gentle knocks indicate a happy visit, usually with Adrian in claw. One gentle knock generally means Rocky is upset or sad about something.
Today, however, Rocky's knocks are numerous, loud, and fast; he's frustrated. I quickly walk over to the door and open it.
Rocky scuttles past me in a blur of limbs and carapace and sits down with a huff on my couch.
My first thought was to make a joke about the nature of his entrance, but I thought better of it. Instead, I walked back over to the couch and sat down beside him. He would tell me what was bothering him when he was ready.
"Engineering thrum is dumb dumb dumb stupid!"
Ah, so this is a work-related problem. It seems troublesome co-workers are a universal phenomenon. Rocky works in the engineering thrum in his hive. I've heard they have been working on a major new project recently, and that tensions have been high because of it.
"The thrum will not listen. The math is wrong. The structure is wrong. Will not hold under pressure. It's not ready yet."
Rocky begins to start pacing on my couch again. I know I'm way out of my depth when it comes to engineering, so I can't actually solve his problem, but maybe I can help take his mind off it for now.
"Tell you what, how about we play a game of chess? Maybe you can work through it while we play?" Rocky seemed to perk up at this and went over to the cabinet to pull out the board. "Grace wants to lose again?" He asked in a teasing lilt. I gave a laugh, "You wish."
The game went as expected; I lost miserably. But I was happy all the same. After Rocky won, he lifted up the board and paraded it back to its resting place, "Grace need water after loss, question? Burned bad from Rocky roasting, question?" Man, I never should have given Rocky access to Earth slang terms on the laptop.
"No, but I should probably eat something before my stomach starts to growl."
”Good idea. Movie after, question?”
Movies had quickly become one of our favorite pastimes. Once Rocky created his own special viewing screen just below my laptop, we could both easily watch movies together from the couch. (We used to watch movies down on the beach, but my legs couldn’t do that anymore…) Rocky’s favorite movies were, unsurprisingly, fix-it flicks. He has also recently developed an interest in medical dramas, much to my chagrin.
"Sure, buddy. You pick out something for us to watch, and I’ll be right back.”
As Rocky moved over to the laptop to view the almost infinite list of downloaded movies, I made my way to the kitchen.
Since the only real food the Eridians had been able to synthesize for me was my own flesh turned burger (me-burgers), my dinner options were quite limited. However, it did get rid of my food-related decision paralysis.
I opened the refrigerator equivalent and grabbed a package of me-burgers. With practiced precision, I sliced the burgers into bite-sized pieces and loaded them onto a plate.
As I did so, I checked the side of the me-burger package to see which flavor I got: sweet.
Adrian and I had a long discussion about human taste buds and the five flavors humans can detect. Afterward, they started incorporating each of those flavors into my burgers. I greatly appreciated it since I now had more than just umami in my flavor palate.
But when I began to chew the sweet me-burgers, I noticed they were not sweet at all; in fact, I couldn’t even taste them. I popped another piece and came to the same result.
Did something go wrong with this batch? No, can’t be, Adrian and their team have been doing these for years with no errors. Eridian cold? Oh gosh, I hope not. That’s the last thing I need, unidentified microorganisms in my biodome. Well, I don’t feel stuffy. I certainly don’t feel sick (beyond the ever-present ailments).
I decide to put this experience in the “I’ll revisit this later” mental box and quickly finish my me-burgers.
As I walked back into the living room, I found Rocky fiddling with his sound screen down below, with the movie “Barbie” pulled up.
"I didn’t pick you for a Barbie-type of alien.” “Am not,” replied Rocky. “Grace is. Most watched movie on laptop.” Sure enough, Rocky had filtered the laptop's database by “movie” and “most opened,” with Barbie as the top result. "Huh, I guess I am.” If he was picking a movie that I liked, then he must have heard my predicament in the kitchen. Nothing escapes my best friend.
I settled down next to him on the couch as the movie began to play. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay awake for the whole movie, but spending time with Rocky was what I wanted.
”Grace look like Ken from movie, statement.”
”I do not!” I pretended to be offended by his notes. “We are nothing alike!”
”Same body shape, same messy messy hair.” Rocky began to lift his carapace. “Rocky is graceful space spider!”
”More like space crab.” I whisper under my breath. I had shown Rocky images of crabs on the laptop. He was not fond of the comparison. In retaliation, he grabbed one of the pillows and threw it at my face, hard. I let out a yelp of surprise and clutched my now bleeding nose.
”APOLOGY APOLOGY APOLOGY! Rocky no mean hurt!”
”It’s alright, bud, it was an accident.” I reached over and grabbed a few tissues from the box to stem the flow of blood. I shoved them up my nose and turned to Rocky.
“See, all better now. I’ve got nose tampons!”
He gave a few notes that created his form of laughter. “Grace look stupid.” I laughed back in response and lay my head down on top of Rocky’s carapace. This was what I wanted. Forever. That was my last thought before slipping into dreams.
The first thing I noticed was color. So much color. Blues, oranges, purples, and even some colors I had never seen before. It seemed to move around me like water reflecting off a pool. My vision was blurry at best. Even worse than when I forget to put my glasses on, like there was a filter over what I could see. After some intense focal work, I was able to make out three large shapes in the distance. At first, I thought they must be mountains, but as I looked closer, I saw that they had limbs, five of them.
Eridians then? How were they so big?
As if on queue, sound began to erupt from all around me.
Now I had spent a long time on Erid. I had learned to understand pretty much every Eridian word Rocky knew, and even a few words in languages from other hives. But this. This could only be described as sound unleashed.
There was no order, no pattern to follow. It was just every Eridian note at the exact same time.
I reached to cover my ears as the sound became too overwhelming for me to continue standing.
My knees hit the ground hard, and a sharp pain made its way up my legs before it quickly vanished.
Then the sounds seemed to coalesce into a single note. It was the loudest note I have ever heard.
”SAVE”
I jolted awake
My legs are on fire.