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1.
It was a well known fact that Natasha Romanoff is an intimidating person, as someone who can kill anyone within a minute, if it even takes her that long, she is scary. What most agents of SHIELD don’t know is that Natasha Romanoff is a notorious napper, especially for Maria Hill’s couch in her office.
The first time Maria came across the redhead napping in her office, it was after a brutal mission for the assassin that ended with a bullet graze and either bruised or broken ribs. Knowing that the redhead was injured, Maria was going to wake her to at least clean up her wounds and check the ribs she knew were hurt from hearing the redhead take a hit directly to them, but the open first aid kit and ice packs stopped Maria. Taking a closer look, Maria noticed that Natasha had already attended to her wounds, if a little carelessly with the patch job bandaging, but it was enough for Maria not to wake her.
Maria sighed and went towards her desk where she kept an extra set of clothes and dug out the blanket she always had in her office whenever it gets too cold at night. Instead of wrapping it around herself as was customary for the deputy director, she headed towards Natasha and draped the blanket over the redhead, allowing her to rest while she did paperwork.
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The second time it happened, Maria was confused, there was nothing wrong with the spy, and she hadn’t been on any dangerous missions as of late, so finding a sleeping Natasha was not in the cards for that day. Regardless, Maria once again, dug out her blanket and draped it over Natasha and let her sleep.
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By the 10th time Maria had found Natasha Romanoff sleeping on her couch, she had started to drape the blanket over the back of the couch and decided that the couch had needed some throw pillows as well. If Coulson asked about her new decorations, there was no mention of Natasha napping on her couch, and instead he was told that sometimes she didn’t have time to go to her apartment to rest, which was only partially true.
The pillows were clearly a great addition to the couch though since the spy always rested her head on one of the two blue pillows and hugged the other while being wrapped up snuggly in Maria’s office blanket.
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By the 50th time, Maria was so used to finding the redhead at her couch she didn’t even question it anymore, simply stayed as quiet as she could and let the Russian rest for as long as she needed. Yet not a single time since Natasha had started napping in her office, has Maria ever seen her wake up, not even when Maria was sure she had woken Natasha up by accident when she dropped her cup full of writing utensils on the floor by accident. Though every time, without fail, once the Russian had woken up in the empty office, Natasha always folded the blanket back up and at first set it back in the drawer, until Maria changed that, then the redhead draped it over the couch and put the pillows back in their respective places.
2.
The second thing Maria noticed about Natasha Romanoff is her affinity for cinnamon flavored anything, whether it be candy, hot chocolate, or cinnamon rolls, she adored cinnamon. What did come as a surprise though, was the hard cinnamon candy she always seemed to have on her. Maria didn’t come into this observation easily though, if anything it went unnoticed until Natasha offered her a piece of candy. At first Maria was confused as to where the spy kept the candy, but she accepted it regardless, but it was upon first taste that Maria realized Natasha loved cinnamon.
It was innocuous, the redhead always carrying cinnamon flavored candy with her. If anything Maria wondered how many Natasha had on her, since she was always sucking on one or opening one. At one point, Maria was going into work later than she usually would since Fury locked her out of the SHIELD system until nearly 11 in the morning and she stopped for coffee at the cafe at the corner of the Triskelion. And there it was, written right in front of the door, “New Cinnamon Latte! Try it Today!” Maria scoffed and entered the cafe, already ordering her simple black coffee, that thankfully never tasted burnt unlike the one at work, but when she was asked if there was anything else the words escaped her mouth before her thoughts had caught up.
“Add a large cinnamon latte, hot please, and 2 cinnamon rolls,” The cashier blinked at her and then said, “that’ll be $23.80.”
Maria handed the cashier the money and told her to keep the change while walking to the other end of the bar to wait for her drink and apparently Natasha’s latte and cinnamon roll as well.
With coffees and snacks in hand, Maria made her way towards her office, having a feeling that she would find Natasha there after all, maybe not napping like usual, but in the vents over her desk where Natasha likes to hide from Clint in after discovering that her office and Fury’s were the only ones that Clint always avoided during his vent crawls. Maria knew instantly after entering that Natasha was in the vents, if only because of the loud bang she heard as the smell of cinnamon drifted throughout the office. Not even a minute later, Natasha was crawling out of the only vent in Maria’s office and towards her desk where Maria had placed Natasha’s coffee and cinnamon roll.
Maria rolled her eyes but handed Natasha the cinnamon latte and a cinnamon roll, knowing that the spy would love them both. Natasha took both of her gifts and sat on the couch to enjoy them, not wanting Clint to accidentally find her and take a bite out of her cinnamon roll.
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A couple of days later, Maria came into her office to find a jar filled with cinnamon flavored candy, the same ones that the redheaded spy always had on her. Maria shook her head, but didn’t say anything. Especially when the jar was refilled and emptied on a biweekly schedule.
3.
The first time Maria noticed the twitch she thought it was a trick of the light, if only because it was so minute, it was nearly imperceptible, but the second time it happened definitely sealed the deal. For a superspy child assassin, Natasha Romanoff’s poker face was legendary, yet it seemed to Maria like she had a soft spot for any sort of humorous situation, especially when it may not be appropriate.
Though, really the twitch of her nose, easily missed if someone isn’t looking for it and now that Maria knew, she was constantly looking for it. And somehow Maria was constantly finding it now that she knew of its existence.
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The second time Maria noticed the twitch was during a debriefing where May, in her usual deadpan manner said, “what? Like riding a unicorn to battle.”
The twitch of her nose happened instantly, and it was apparent to Maria that everyone missed it, as Natasha stretched up and relaxed back into her seat again.
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The 5th time Maria caught it, was at something she said to Clint Barton when she was making herself some coffee in a breakroom. It was more of a comment than anything truly funny, yet Natasha’s nose twitched and then she went on to make fun of Clint for one thing or another.
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By the 10th time, Maria has a litany of “accidental” puns she wanted to get through whenever she spoke to Natasha. Maria tried to orchestrate as many situations where a pun would be easily available as possible, even if it mean getting odd looks from both Fury and Coulson as they heard her muttering about a plan and pun that needed to happen soon.
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By the 30th, Maria was determined to always say or do or be in place to witness Natasha’s nose twitch as much as she possibly could for someone with a generally overly filled schedule that allowed for very little down time. Was she late to a couple of meetings? Yes, and did everyone look a little bit freaked out when they realized this fact? Also yes, but it was worth every odd look and every whisper behind her back to make the Black Widow’s nose twitch in amusement.
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By the time that Maria lost count she had decided that since Natasha always stopped by her office everyday she wasn’t on a mission, she would make her nose twitch during those times, even if she did have to maneuver her schedule around to make it happen it was worth it. Especially after the first time Natasha actually, genuinely full-bellied, laughed when Maria told her a story about a new recruit and his first meeting with her as she supervised a class.
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It was suffice to say that Natasha’s nose twitch was one of Maria’s favorite observations of Natasha Romanoff, but really how could she not adore such an innocent and instinctive reaction to joy, for someone who has experienced the worst of humanity? And if Maria became a little bit more dry and sarcastic in her response to people whenever Natasha was in hearing range, that is something that is not here nor there.
4.
They were both given shore-leave at the same time from the Helicarrier, and Natasha invited Maria over to eat. Maria, of course was skeptical, seeing as it was a rather well-known fact that the black widow could not cook anything to save her life, if the kitchen accident of 2008 was anything to go off of. So Maria already had the number for the closest pizza to Natasha’s apartment when it inevitably all goes wrong, but to be supportive of the Russian spy, Maria brings wine and dessert and doesn’t say a word about pizza at all.
When Maria entered the apartment though, instead of the burnt smell she was expecting, the smell of creamy cheese filled the air. Unexpectedly, Maria looked over towards the stove, to find it clean and then spotted the oven turned on and a baked mac n’ cheese inside, one that seemed to be perfectly fine and not burnt at all.
“It'll be ready soon, just needs a couple of minutes and then it needs to cool off,” Natasha offered as she pointed to an egg timer that was set to go off.
“Alright then we can open the wine while we wait,” Maria raised the wine she brought and set it on the counter as she ruffled through the kitchen drawers to find a wine opener.
Natasha on the other hand, grabbed the glasses and set them with the wine before turning around and opening the oven and checking on how the mac n’ cheese was doing.
“I didn’t know you could cook,” Maria murmured as she passed a filled glass towards Natasha.
“Mac n’ cheese is the only thing I can cook,” Natasha huffed out and rolled her eyes fondly before taking a sip of the offered wine.
“Why mac n’ cheese? I mean it is a really easy thing to make and nearly impossible to burn, but this is a lot more effort than simple mac n’ cheese from a box,” Maria commented as she gazed at the pan in the oven.
Natasha hummed and went towards her living room, specifically towards the shelf filled with books of multiple languages until she got out a copy of Le Petit Prince. Natasha opened the rather worn out book and got a piece of paper out of it and held it before bringing it over towards Maria.
Maria cocks her head, but still accepts the piece of paper from Natasha as Natasha sets the book down on the counter. It was a picture of a young blonde girl with curly hair and green eyes full of joy and mischief next to a young girl, not yet a teenager with blue hair and red roots, and familiar green eyes, haunted as always but also filled with a quiet joy as she smiled. Maria looked up towards Natasha who had taken the mac n’ cheese out of the oven and was letting it cool off for a while.
“Who is she?” Maria asked as she gazed at the photo of a young Natasha who already knew the horrors of the red room.
“My little sister, Yelena,” Natasha looked over her shoulder when she answered, smiling sadly at the picture that Maria held.
“You have a sister?” The question slipped from Maria’s lips before she could stop it.
“Had…I had a sister, she’s probably dead if she hasn’t escaped by now, she would be 20 years old though, and probably a spitfire, and i doubt she would have left her love of mac n’ cheese,” Natasha revealed as she cut through the crust of the baked mac n’ cheese to start serving it.
So it's a tribute to her sister, huh? Figures Nat would only learn to cook the favorite thing of her little sister, was the final thought Maria had on the subject before carefully putting the picture back into its book and helping Natasha with their food.
5.
The mission was routine, go undercover, extract the information and leave before anyone notices, it was supposed to be easy, it was planned to be easy, but it didn’t go that way. Instead they got cornered in an office and had to fight their way out with no backup available. Maria was beyond enraged about what happened because the intel was so wrong that they apparently didn’t even go to the right room to retrieve the information in the first place. In the end, Natasha got shot in both her shoulder and calf and lost so much blood that Maria was forced to carry her towards the quinjet where Clint waited for them as Maria called for a medical to be on standby when they arrived in the next 15 minutes.
Maria sighed as she went towards the first aid kit and started stitching up the bullet wound of the widow on her calf that was through and through before moving on and examining Natasha’s shoulder wound. By the time that Maria was done with her stitches, Natasha was waking up slowly and they were a minute or two from arriving at the helicarrier as Clint flew as fast as the quinjet would allow.
“Hey Nat, I need you to stay still for me, okay?”Maria told the groggy redhead as she started cleaning the shoulder wound to get a better look.
“I hate getting shot,” Natasha muttered as she glanced at the clean stitches Maria had just finished.
“So do most people Nat, now lay back down,” Maria softly chided as she pushed the redhead down.
“Fine, but I get cuddles,” Natasha went down easily, but not without wrapping her arms around Maria, definitely causing Natasha more hurt, but in her pain-riddled mind it was so worth it.
Maria just blinked rapidly as the usually deadly assassin would not be caught in this predicament ever in her life. Even the usually stern Deputy Director would not have ever gotten caught in this predicament, but as Maria always found, it was hard to deny Natasha Romanoff.
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The second time Natasha passed out from pain and woke up with Maria checking her over, she wrapped herself tightly around the bewildered Deputy Director and stayed there until she was forcibly removed by the medical team and went for an official check up on her injuries.
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By the 8th time, it was expected for Natasha Romanoff to be wrapped around Maria Hill whenever she woke up in pain and Maria happened to be nearby. No one even glanced towards the duo as Maria carried the sleeping redhead towards the med-bay.
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By the time someone (CoughClintCough) started a betting pool of when the Deputy Director and Black Widow would start dating, seeing Maria Hill carrying Natasha was so normal that the only people who stopped and stared were known recruits who were quickly filled in on what was going on. And all of this was happening without Natasha being aware of her octopus tendencies towards Maria whenever she woke up in pain and of the betting pool of her and Maria’s relationship. Meanwhile, Maria knew and put in a bet herself anonymously, but never mentioned anything to Natasha, about anything that she might have noticed about the redhead.
+1
For all that Maria observed about Natasha, one thing that she saw frequently was Natasha rejecting any and all advances towards her person regardless of who it was asking her out. At the very least the Black Widow was generally polite when she rejected people unless they were being very persistent about asking her out. It had gotten to the point that Natasha tended to choose secluded areas whenever they went out to avoid the attention of the general public.
“Why do you never accept any of their offers?” Maria asked her for the first time.
Natasha just smirked and rolled her eyes before deflecting and changing the subject.
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The second time Maria asked the same question, Natasha looked at her with intense green eyes before saying, “don’t know” and changed the subject again. Maria knew the moment those words were uttered that Natasha did know the reason, she just didn’t want to tell Maria.
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The fifth time the question came up it had been two years since the first time and they were both really out of it so Maria never got an answer before she was distracted by a Clint who was cajoling her and Nat into a game of darts.
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It had eventually gotten to the point where Maria didn’t bother asking anymore, knowing that Natasha wasn’t ever going to give her an honest answer at all. But surprisingly enough when the question was asked to Clint Barton, he looked at Maria in confusion and uttered a simple, “you don’t know?” as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the universe.
Thankfully when Maria had asked Clint the question they were sparring at the time and the punch to the ribs was definitely deserved after the arrow-wielding idiot refused to tell Maria the reason why Natasha didn’t seem to take up anyone on their offers.
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Maria was fully aware of how beautiful the Black Widow was, how seductive and charming she could be at the drop of a hat when she needed to get away with something and fast. But not everyone seemed to be aware of how ethereal Natasha Romanoff was, which was a damn shame, if anyone asked the Deputy Director. Natasha Romanoff was the best of the women, she was human in the best ways possible: her couch napping habits, her cinnamon addiction, her twitching nose, her inability to cook anything but mac n’ cheese, and her secret octopus cuddles. Natasha Romanoff was really incredible and Maria would shoot anyone who says otherwise because clearly they don’t know the difference between the Black Widow and Natasha Romanoff.
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“Ask me the question,” Natasha told Maria as sat at the cockpit of a quinjet waiting for the all clear to be said so they could get off and head towards a debriefing.
Maria raised her eyebrow and didn’t say anything, really not knowing what question Natasha could be referring to. After all, there were plenty of questions Natasha never answered about and many subjects that were simply off-limits unless Natasha herself started the conversation.
“You know the question Masha,” the nickname was still somewhat new, but Maria adored it regardless,“you asked it pretty often whenever we went out to a bar.”
Maria blinked and thought back to what question she asked whenever they went out and then it popped up in her head, why do you never accept any of their offers?
“Are you sure Nat? I don’t want to force you on a subject you clearly don’t like to talk about,” Maria frowned towards the widow.
“Yeah, ask me Masha, trust me,” Natasha smirked and raised a challenging eyebrow towards the Deputy Director.
“Alright, why do you never accept any of their offers?” Maria uttered out while gazing directly into laughing green eyes.
“Easy, none of those people is the person I want to be asked out by,” Natasha shrugged lightly, but the mischief still didn’t leave the redhead’s face.
“Then why wait for this person?” Maria muttered under her breath,“they seem like an idiot to not have asked you out by now.
“I wouldn’t call them an idiot, if anything I think my not accepting anyone else’s offers told them that I wasn’t interested in romance or anything of the sort,” Natasha chuckled as she answered Maria’s insult instead of her question.
“No they sound like an idiot, so why not move on?” Maria still insulted if only to see the nose twitch and hear the chuckle.
“Because they are the best person I have ever met, and I hope they want to ask me out,” Natasha answered honestly with a side glance towards Maria.
“That’s a high bar, Nat… Do I know them? So i can call them an idiot to their face of course,” Maria wasn’t really joking about calling this random person an idiot for her closest friend, but Natasha didn’t need to know this.
“Yeah, you do actually,” Natasha’s nose twitched as she grinned at Maria.
“Alright, tell me then,” Maria requested.
“Sure, they have black hair, blue eyes, about the same height as you, unbelievably stubborn, but they are extremely loyal to the people they care about and their principles. They have the nicest laugh I’ve ever heard and is always muttering amusing tidbits about people under their breath, they are unendingly kind, no matter who calls them cold and heartless, and they are the most oblivious person in this world to not have noticed my crush at all,” Natasha giggled softly as she added the last part.
Maria frowned as she thought of who could possibly fit that description and whom Natasha must be close to for her to know all of these details of the person. The only person who fits is… me, wait what? Is it me? I have blue eyes and black hair, I am clearly my height. I have been accused of being too stubborn, but everyone knows I’m loyal to Fury and SHIELD, and my family, I also have the bad habit of making fun of the idiotic things people say, and I get called cold and heartless regularly enough… is it me?! The thoughts spiraled out of control as Natasha watched in amusement as the realizing started to come into Maria’s mind.
“Me?” Maria mumbled, not meaning to say it outloud, but Natasha heard her anyway.
“Yeah Masha it's you, so have a question you want to ask me?” Natasha joked.
“Would…” Maria took a deep breath, heart hammering and palms sweating,“would you go on a date with me?”
Natasha grinned brightly, and her whole face and body lit up with an obvious answer, but Maria still held her breath as she awaited the answer from Natasha Romanoff’s lips.
“Yeah, Masha, go to your quarters by 8 everything should be ready by then,” Natasha couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her as she told Maria where to meet her for their date.
“Sure, yeah, consider it done,” Maria uttered just as the all clear came through the radio, signalling their need to land the quinjet.