Chapter Text
When Natalia was first brought into SHIELD by Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye, she was not sure what to expect, especially considering how far they’ve gone to hunt her down. So when she was brought into what looked to be an interrogation room, she wasn’t surprised, but it was surprising when an agent seemed to have joined her within a few minutes of her acclimating to the room instead of making her wait. The woman was definitely military, probably Marines, if the widow had to guess. She carried herself with a lot of confidence, so likely also an authority figure too, though she looked very young to be in charge of something, so either some sort of genius or something else. The eyes, though, were what surprised Natalia, they were curious and kind, not the eyes of someone who wanted her dead or wanted to only use her, it was a strange feeling for the rogue Black Widow.
“Give me your hands,” were the first words the woman spoke to Natalia, not even introducing herself, simply commanding the Widow.
Natalia wasn’t really given much of a choice since she was their prisoner, so she held up her handcuffed hands and waited for whatever retribution the woman was after. Natalia stared straight at the woman because if she was going to get punished for the actions of either other widows or herself, then she was going to do it with dignity damnit. Instead of punishing blows to the hands though, the agent scanned some sort of card over her cuffs and they released immediately onto the table under them. Natalia blinked at her free wrist before bringing them closer to inspect if there was any sort of damage from the cuffs, and aside from redness and slight tenderness they likely wouldn’t even bruise. Natalia glanced back at the woman who sat in front of her with a file with Natalia’s blurry face evident.
“Why did you do that? I’m your prisoner,” Natalia commented, but it was the first time she had spoken since her capture and therefore the woman didn’t expect the American accent it followed.
“If you wanted me dead I would already be dead,” The woman answered honestly with a shrug while reading through the file, as if a master assassin and spy wasn’t sitting dangerously close to her.
“You are a strange woman,” Natalia commented while glancing once again down at what seemed to be her file, which was rather thick for someone who was more ghost than person.
“First to say so, what’s your name?” The agent glanced up waiting for an answer.
“Natalia Alianovna Romanova, and yours?” Natalia’s head titled, not really expecting the agent to answer, but curious if she would.
The woman hesitated before answering,“Maria Hill, why did you surrender, I know you could’ve killed Barton easily, you outmatch him by miles.”
“I’m tired,” Natalia looked away from the woman, not wanting to reveal anything.
“Okay, do you want a second chance?” Maria Hill asked, and in that moment, Natalia prayed to a God she did not believe in, that Agent Hill was being genuine.
“Why would you give someone like me a chance?” Natalia scoffed out, regretting her words, but saying them anyway because the world had taught her that something good was always a lie.
“Why not? You could help a lot of people with your skills,” Agent Hill stared straight at Natalia, her eyes without a hint of fear most people would feel when faced with a fully trained Black Widow.
“How do you know I won’t turn around and sell you out?” Natalia’s expression, while neutral, didn’t completely hide the bewilderment in her eyes.
“I don’t, but someone with your skills doesn’t get captured willingly unless they want to be,” Agent Hill told the widow before standing up from her chair.
“Where are you going?” Natalia asked instantly, seeing as Agent Hill had been answering her own question willingly with no hint of deception.
“To get food, I figure you’re probably hungry, any request?” Agent Hill stopped right before the door.
“Macaroni and cheese,” Natalia’s answer came instantly, despite the part of her that wanted to flinch away from the answer.
Agent Hill nodded and left the room. Now Natalia wasn’t an idiot, it was obvious that Agent Hill was going to be meeting with her superior outside of this room, but she figured the agent was at least being honest about bringing food back to this gray room.
Agent Hill was gone for about half an hour, which wasn’t long, but when your only entertainment was staring at a wall, it felt like an entire month passed, then again, staring at the only camera in the room was somewhat amusing. If only because Natalia had a not so secret love for weirding people out whenever she got too bored doing nothing. For all the high tech of SHIELD, Natalia was slightly disappointed by the lack of restraints and cells involved in her stay so far, not to say the gray room wasn’t depressing enough to be a prison, but it was underwhelming compared to the conditions of the Red Room and some of the hovels Natalia had stayed in during her time as a rogue. However, Agent Hill came back with two bowls of mac n’ cheese and closed bottles of water under her arm.
Natalia blinked twice, but accepted the bowl and the water from the agent, but not eating or drinking until after Agent Hill started eating the food, and even then, Natasha was cataloging the taste and smells to ensure she wasn’t going to get poisoned. Regardless, the brunette noticed this and took a bite and sip of Natalia’s food and water before going on and eating hers.
“If we give you a second chance, there will be stipulations of course,” Agent Hill told Natalia while pointed her spoon towards her.
“Of course, anything less would be suspicious,” Natalia agreed to hear out what the agent would propose.
“You will be at SHIELD until it is established that you are not a danger to yourself or society, if you would like a job, then you are going to be trained in the protocols of SHIELD but not at the academy, I will be in charge of your training, and you must be de-programming from the brainwashing you were exposed to in the Red Room,” Natalia almost bit her tongue when she heard the last condition since she wasn’t sure SHIELD wasn’t going to put things in her head like the Red Room had throughout her life.
“So you know about the Red Room and their methods, huh?” Natalia said this like she was commenting on a nice day with clear weather.
“Yes, we are aware of them, and we know there is more than one Black Widow, our last count at up to twenty, but without confirmation it’s merely an estimate,” Agent Hill took a sip of her water.
“If I agree to your conditions, can I add some of my own?” Natalia’s curiosity with Agent Hill was seriously going to get her killed or thrown in jail, but the woman had been nothing but honest if not telling lies of omissions.
“If they are reasonable,” was the only response the agent had.
“I don’t want you to program me into something I’m not, I want the freedom to make my own choices and not be a weapon for you to use, and during my de-programming I need to be in a secure room,” Natalia thought back on the nightmares and intrusive thoughts she had been suffering through since escaping the Red Room.
Agent Hill blinked when she heard the first statement, the first time her stoic blank face betrayed her, as she realized that Natalia had never been treated like a person.
“Done, I will ensure personally that you only go through a de-programming and nothing more or less, as for a secure room, can I ask why this is a necessity?” Agent Hill’s face went back toward its careful blankness after an emotion flashed over the agent's face, too fast to be caught.
“While I am free from the impulse to return back to my handler and face punishment for escaping, I am not completely free from the ingrained need for violence and I have very very bad nightmares, it is much safer for everyone if I am locked behind a door with no weapons,” Natalia shrugged as if sharing the fact that she has violent tendencies that she can barely control is just something part of everyday conversation.
“Alright, what about joining SHIELD? Would you want to?” Agent Hill asked as the final question towards the widow.
“Sure, I only have ballet to fall back to and that is too public of a career for someone like me,” Natalia shared as she pushed the bowl away from her, not used to eating too much food still.
Agent Hill didn't say anything about the ballet comment and only nodded her acknowledgement before leaving the room.
Natalia was curious about this woman, more than anything else she wanted to know why she has treated her like a person instead of the way everyone else usually treated her.
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By the time Natalia had been moved to a secure room, it was already day likely, or at least she assumed it was. Time seemed unreal in a place without widows or clocks. There was no sight of Agent Maria Hill, but Director Fury had stopped by for a brief chat. Nothing more than a promise to give her her freewill back and that hopefully she will adjust to SHIELD nicely. No mention of Agent Hill, or the way the two interacted when the widow was unwilling to talk to anyone else. Disappointed but not truly surprised Natalia let time pass as it would, only leaving her dorm/cell when she had a de-programming session and resting for more time then she was comfortable doing.
At the very least SHIELD provided her with prepackaged meals, likely something to do with Agent Hill, but who was to say that was true. Along with the meals came books as well, not new books, but books that gave her something to hold onto and do as she waited for the de-programming to finish. She did however occasionally see Clint Barton, which was weird on the first occasion a few days after she was secured into her cell. Natalia was nearly certain the archer would have been in trouble after not killing her when he had an advantage, it seemed though that this was not the case or at the very least he wasn't being punished harshly for his insubordination.
Her days were long and tiring, with no other visitor than a blonde archer with too much time. That was until Agent Hill came around and told her that the de-programming was done and a success.
“You will be training with Agent Barton and I until you are deemed mission ready, until then Romanova you're a consultant in an official capacity ” Agent Hill stated before handing Natalia another book and this time a piece of candy.
Natalia looked down at the offerings and only offered one word in response, “Romanoff.”
Agent Hill raised her eyebrow,“Excuse me?”
“I'm not really Natalia, not anymore, so call me Natasha Romanoff instead,” the Black Widow offered as she opened the candy she was handed.
“Alright, I'll update your file, in the meantime, Agent Barton will be here shortly to escort you to your official room,” Agent Hill said as she looked around the room, noticing the stack of books in the corner.
“Can I keep the books?” Natasha asked as she popped the piece of candy in her mouth.
Cinnamon
“Go ahead, Agent Barton will help you move them,” Natasha nodded and headed towards the books and started splitting them up into shorter piles.
“Oh I nearly forgot, here,” Agent Hill got a card out of her pocket with Natasha’s old name on it instead of the new one.
“You’ll get your proper one later today, for now this one will work just as well,” Natasha merely stared at the key card with her name and consultant written over the SHIELD logo.
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It was actually Clint Barton who gave Natasha her new keycard with the correct name instead of Agent Hill, but Natasha didn’t mind too much. Settling into her new room was strange if only because the widow wasn’t used to having a room to herself but also to having things that belong to her that aren’t weapons.
Clint Barton proved to be an unending nuisance, with his constant talking and asking and then talking again, though Natasha didn’t mind. It was nice to have some noise, even if that noise kept blattering on the superiority of pineapple on pizza and another equally inane topic. At first glance into her wardrobe, Natasha thought all of the clothes would be the same SHIELD sweats she had been wearing since she came, but upon closer inspection, most of these clothes seemed to have been chosen for her specifically, as if making sure the widow wouldn’t stick out amongst the rest of the agents. There were at least ten uniforms of the same variety that Agent Hill wore, but there were also civilian clothes present as well, and the majority seemed to be new, though the tags were cut off. Natasha was willing to admit though that the black leather with blue lining was her favorite of all the clothes, subtle but with a little personality.
Without thinking about it, Natasha started stripping her clothes off with Barton in the room to change into something more casual thinking there was likely nothing else that she would be required to do today aside from going to the cafeteria to eat at some point.
“Whoa! Hey!” Barton turned away from her, “Uh some warning if you’re gonna change next time please.”
“Why?” Natasha raised an eyebrow towards the archer who was rubbing the back of his neck.
“Uh modesty?” Barton questioned, as if it was an obvious answer.
“Surely you must have seen naked women by this point in your life,” Natasha commented, but continued changing her clothes.
“Well yeah, but um I shouldn’t be looking at you naked or half naked anyway,” Barton told the confused widow.
“Well you can turn around unless the sight of my arms is too much for you,” The assassin said drily as she grabbed the leather jacket.
“Oh you can joke!” Barton turned around instantly beaming at the widow.
“Of course I can, I might be a heartless assassin, but I’m not without humor,” Natasha rolled her eyes at the man.
“Oh I didn’t mean to insult you! It's just you don’t usually reply to me,” Barton raised his hand up in a placating manner.
“You didn’t and that’s because you never stop talking long enough for me to reply properly so I don’t bother,” Natasha admitted while grabbing the book Agent Hill had given her.
“Yeah that’s fair, so how was Hill earlier today? Cause I heard she’s already yelled at at least three people and it’s barely afternoon,” Barton’s exaggerated whisper wasn’t necessary, but it was amusing to the widow.
“She was fine, courteous if a little distracted,” Natasha didn’t think anything about her answer since Agent Hill had never been anything but professional with her.
“Huh, okay, well I was thinking we could either go to the gym to pass time, I could give you a tour, or we could go eat,” Barton listed the options, and while Natasha wanted to just read her new book, she decided it was better to familiarize herself with SHIELD instead.
“Are you even allowed to take me on a tour?” Regardless though, Natasha couldn’t help but question how much autonomy she was allowed.
“Yes, I am, Hill already okayed it,” Barton grinned and headed towards the door, expecting the widow to follow him, and Natasha did.
It turned out that there was a fairly good reason why there were barely any windows around SHIELD that aren’t simply because its a secret spy building and more to do with the fact that they were suspended in the air. Natasha wasn’t really aware of this when she was captured considering that when she arrived she was blind-folded and had a bag shoved on her head too. The view was amazing from the command though, that much Natasha realized as she stared at the open sky around them and the sea below them, it was like looking out the window of a plane except with a much better view. But what really caught the widow’s gaze was Agent Hill as she ordered around people through a headset as she watched all the screens in front of her diligently.
Agent Hill noticed when Barton and Romanoff entered, but didn’t make a move to acknowledge them as she supervised an on-going mission. Therefore Agent Hill hadn’t also noticed the close attention the widow paid her, especially when she was commanding and telling the team viable exits and then telling them to retreat when they were about to get caught instead of buckling down and putting the mission before their lives. The widow raised her eyebrow as she heard Agent Hill tell the team they did good by following protocol and getting out of there and that they would debrief with their handler on arrival. Agent Hill then went on to thank the other people who were helping her during the mission before turning towards Barton and Romanoff.
“Should I ask why you’re both here?” Agent Hill raised her eyebrow at the duo.
“Tour Hill, after all, how is she supposed to get around on her own if she doesn’t know where she’s going?” Barton smiled mischievously, knowing he really shouldn’t have shown Natasha the vent systems, but it was the easiest way to go around the helicarrier undetected.
“So you showed her the vents and the breakrooms, and nothing actually useful,” Agent Hill rolled her eyes but nodded towards her office.
“Pretty much, yeah,” Barton easily agreed, knowing better than to lie to Hill of all people.
“Coulson has the patience of a saint to deal with you,” Agent Hill entered her office first and Barton closed the doors behind them.
“I am not that bad! I’m fun and quirky!” Barton’s mock indignation caused eye rolls from both Agent Hill and Natasha.
“Yeah and disobedient like a badly trained dog,” Agent Hill snarked back as she looked for something on her desk.
“Yeah yeah, whatever, so where’s all your books?” Barton asked as he looked at what used to be a bookcase brimming with books now having various empty spots.
“Gave them away to charity to make room for new ones,” Agent Hill easily answered, not really paying any mind to either agent.
“Huh,” Clint muttered, but believed the excuse either way.
Natasha on the other hand looked more closely at the titles and noticed a running theme of detective novels, mystery and thrillers on the shelf along with a lot of strategy and military operation books. Interestingly enough, a lot of the fiction books are in about the same condition of the ones she’s been receiving, well-loved with occasional snarky remarks on the margins, but no clear owner. Natasha looked closer at Agent Hill, noticed the woman startling blue eyes, and constant tightness on her shoulders, the constant look of exasperation as she continued to shuffle papers around on her desk, not finding whatever she was getting annoyed at. By that point Clint had already made himself comfortable on the couch in the room and patted the seat next to him for Natasha to take as Agent Hill muttered about messes and papers being left in her office too often. Natasha glanced once more at Agent Hill before taking Barton’s offer and sitting down on the couch as they waited on Agent Hill. It wasn’t too long before Agent Hill let out a soft hum and raised the paper she had been trying to find since she entered her office a few minutes ago.
“Here, you’re schedule before you can officially be a SHIELD agent,” Agent Hill handed Natasha a piece of paper with a rough outline of what her days as a consultant would look like.
Clint, because the archer had no concept of personal space, looked over the widow’s shoulder and took in the very loose schedule the Commander had planned for the widow.
Work Out: 06:00-08:00
*with Agent Barton
Breakfast: 08:30-09:30
Consulting: 10:00-17:00
*lunch at anytime
*with Agent Hill
Free time: 17:30-20:00
*Dinner at anytime
Sleep: anytime after consulting
“Six am workout? C’mon Hill, that’s really early!” Barton complained knowing he would attend anyway, but still.
“Do you have any questions Romanoff?” Agent Hill asked, ignoring the petulant archer and looking towards the redhead.
“Yes, what exactly am I doing during this ‘consulting’ period of the day?” Natasha asked seeing as it was an eight hour block in her schedule.
“You are officially designated as my shadow, where I go, you go unless I have someone else take over,” Agent Hill responded.
“You're my babysitter basically,” Natasha raised an unimpressed eyebrow.
“Yes, I am, any other questions,” Agent Hill didn’t bother hiding that fact, and Natasha nodded her understanding of why they needed to have her supervised at all times.
Natasha shook her head, and got up, ready to walk out of the office, yet knowing she would have to wait for Clint to escort her back, or perhaps she would ask him to show her the way towards the gym. Natasha wasn’t sure yet, but by the time they left the office, all of Natasha’s thoughts were on what shadowing Agent Hill would look like.