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Judy sighed as she finally settled down. Her uncovered back pressed against the equally bare fox tod’s chest, his orange and cream fur warmer than any comforter she could ever want.
His arms and tail wrapped over her smaller body securely, finishing a protective cocoon she’d quickly come to learn always left her with a feeling of comfort and safety that made her fall asleep in seconds. Paws pressed respectfully on her body that her own would always gravitate towards to hold through the night.
The back of her head pressed softly against his throat, his longer muzzle sailing between her ears as they both rested on their shared pillow.
However, a moment of unexpected clarity kept her awake, a single stray thought that refused to calm down rattling around her noggin.
What are we?
They were friends, best friends even. She knew that with certainty. Some would even dare say more, soulmates.
But then, how could she explain her current situation, the same one she had been a willing participant for the last 5 months. Longer still if she reviewed other aspects of their seemingly inextricably intertwined lives.
From the shared apartment, with a single bedroom and a single bed that somehow neither of them had found the need to comment on when they looked to upgrade their living quarters, with the simple excuse that living together would save on costs.
From the quiet evenings where the silent agreement of ‘he cooks, she cleans’ after a long day of work came to be. To the afterparty, where they would spend the rest of the candlelight cuddled up on their couch, watching whatever movie they could find running on cable while simply basking in the others' presence.
From the easy domesticity that came with waking first in the morning to savor the last dregs of sleep in his embrace, then waking her partner with all the care in the world before stepping out to take a shower as he rose to have his own afterwards. To preparing a simple breakfast on their small kitchen table to surprise the fox with, often dotted with his favorite blueberries that after the first time she learned to hide the crate from.
From the small time they spend in their bedroom getting prepared for work, back to back as they replaced their sleeping clothes with their uniforms. Shame of being seen in any shape of disrobe long forgotten by the wayside of their partnership. To the small baby blue sedan they managed to purchase with their combined income, the one they still had 4 installments to pay before officially calling it theirs and would take turns driving.
From the playful ribbing at work at their relationship that no longer shaped her judgement nor caused her distress, often letting it roll away with a careless giggle before resuming her work. To the tired moment they would leave the premises after a day of making the city safer, paw in paw as they made their way to their automobile and the comforting silence of their apartment.
What are we?
The thought returned.
Intensified by the relaxed thumping of his heart she could count the beats of through the skin of her back.
By the calm breathing of an animal not yet asleep but very well on their way to a peaceful slumber.
By the quiet drum of the tv in the living room they liked to leave on at low volume with the screen turned off, since neither of them enjoyed a dead silence.
Since she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep in her current state, she chose the most effective course of action.
“Nick?” She whispered into the night, hoping her partner would still be conscious enough to answer or not get angry at getting woken. She ran her thumb over the coarse fur of the paw underneath hers.
“Mh?” Came his silent question after a few seconds. If he had opened his eyes or simply responded out of reflex she couldn’t check in their current position.
“Are you awake?” She asked in the same volume, leaving the fox a way out in case it really had been an involuntary response.
“Yes” His muzzle parted slightly to breath out his answer, the air tickling her nose and whiskers on the way out. His voice gravely by the sleep he almost fell into. “Everything good, Fluff?”
“Yeah” She replied quickly to assuage the notion she would be anything but perfect with him at her side. “Just,” she began, faltering just a smidge at the thought that maybe she should save the topic for the morning, before she felt one of his paws take one of hers, giving it a gentle squeeze of wordless comfort.
“Nick, what are we?” Her words turned the world silent as the only sound she could properly concentrate on was his steady breathing. After what felt like a minute of the same, she figured he fully fell asleep, leaving her with an unanswered question.
“What do you mean?” Came his question, almost startling her.
“That, mostly…” Her tone displayed the doubt in her mind. “I just, we live together. Eat together, work, relax, sleep… I just…”
“What do you want us to be?”
The question pressed heavily on her chest. It opened a tightly locked box in her heart she never had the courage to open on her own, and now it had been kicked open and all its contents were unceremoniously sprawled on full display for her to make something of.
“I - ” She began before faltering, because what was the correct answer here? “ - don’t know” She finished in almost a whimper.
“Let me ask you another question” His voice came back, firm, awake, ever so sweet and caring. “How much do you know about foxes?”
“V-very little?” She replied with uncertainty, confused by the sudden topic change and its relation with the original question. “I don’t really have a… big pool of foxes, to ask stuff about. I just know a lot of Nick facts that maybe apply to others”
“Fair” He said with a small chuckle, the movement of his chest rattling her own in some sort of cooperative laughter.
She turned in his arms, to properly examine his expression in the low light of the bedroom. Her eyesight may not be as good as his in the dark, but she could still distinguish a relaxed face from his mask.
He bumped his nose against hers affectionately once she settled down again, her paws coming up to hold his muzzle while his stayed on the small of her back.
“Let me enlighten my uncultured partner” She drummed her fingers over his cheek, a playful admonishment over his joke. “Foxes are solitary animals”
“I know that one, mister dark and mysterious" She tittered softly as she noticed his green eyes lighten up in quiet mirth.
“Oh? Do you, now?” He playfully asked, receiving a quiet hum of affirmation before lapping lovingly at the side of her neck. She shivered at the contact as her chest squeezed in pleasurable agreement, in the same way it always did whenever he groomed her "Because if you really knew it, you may not be having these questions”
“Oh” The only sound able to escape her bewilderment.
“Yes, oh” He replied with a toothy smile. “We foxes don’t hold paws or hug our friends. We certainly don’t cuddle or groom them either. And inviting someone to our den, moving together, building a life around each other… Well, you are a smart lady, I’m sure you can add the numbers”
The sudden realization of what he meant, what their situation spoke of. It came with a sort of illuminating moment where her buzzing thoughts stopped, the feeling traveling to her stomach as a swarm of butterflies decided to take residence there instead. Her mind filled with all sorts of images that tinted in this new light took on a whole new meaning. One that, seeing back to it, painted their relationship in a more devoted, committed even, shade she should have recognized earlier.
“So, let me ask you, this time” His voice almost startled her out of her reverie.
“What are we?”
Her mind stumbled through the possible answers, stunned to the point of not a single whisper being able to escape her chest.
“Or better yet, what do you want us to be?” He left the silence linger for just a second, before with voice full of warmth and adoration adding “You already know my answer”
She did, didn’t she? His admission, something that with a bit more hindsight on her part should have been more than obvious at first glance, gave her a blank check to cash in whatever her heart so desired.
“I… I lo-love you” Her nervous words stuttered, being freed from the tight confines of her heart for the first time, being given newly formed shapes and names. “M-more than a friend, than a partner. Y-you are my… lifemate” She finished in almost a whisper, just loud enough for two pairs of ears to hear it, a secret for all but two animals who for the first time were being honest with themselves.
“I love you too, Judy” He whispered back, tone full of emotions that just hours before she had not known what to call. “My partner” He placed a kiss on her forehead, “My angel” a kiss on her cheek, “My lifemate” he neared, his warm breath on her expecting lips. Waiting, giving her the final choice that she gleefully took, erasing the space between them.
The kiss was chaste, unhurried. It was not a desperate first kiss of starcrossed lovers that knew not when they would find each other again. Nor the first kiss of animals that suddenly came to the realization they were in love with their best friends.
This first kiss was steady, secure, like the life they had unknowingly built together. Backed with the knowledge that this wasn’t the kiss that mattered the most, but only the first of many. A number they would work on over a lifetime of love and companionship.
When they finally parted, out of breath and mind reeling from the new relationship that grew naturally without her input, she giggled. Her now unburdened chest housing a somersaulting heart and the swarm of butterflies that seemed to have duplicated in the short time she hadn’t been paying attention.
“But,” She began, a new curious thought surfacing “if you knew. Why didn’t you say something first?”
It was his turn to turn flustered, her smile growing at the unusual sight.
“That’s another thing with male foxes” He used his right paw to lightly scratch her back in nervous action, something that without his knowledge sent a thick dollop of heat to her belly “We can’t really initiate relationships. Everything else is fair game, but the female is the one that needs to, formalize it, if you will"
“I see” She answered with a glossy look in her eyes, mouth open in soft panting. “Can I tell you something about bunnies now?”
“Sure, Fluff. Tit for tat”
“Remember when I joked about bunnies being good at multiplying?” He simply nodded, mind coming to a simple conclusion as he dazzlingly stared at his normally demure partner. “Once we find our lifepartner, it becomes all true”
He tried to reply but the sudden reappearance of a pair of lips on his own left him unable. Softly chuckling into her lips he returned the gesture, managing only a few words after she separated for breath.
“What’s got into you so suddenly?” He asked mirthfully.
“I blame your claws on my back, and your teeth. Have I ever told you how bothered I get when you nibble me?” He only gave her a small shake of his head, overwhelmed by the trove of admissions “But that’s not all, there’s your eyes, your words, your heart - ”
“So,” He interrupted, “you are saying it’s unequivocally my fault?” She gave him a nod “I can live with that. But don’t we have work in the morning?” He finished by asking, even if he was fairly certain of the answer as she pressed her nose against his neck in a desperate nuzzle. Her chin rubbing along his collarbone as her scent exploded in potency.
“We’ll call in sick” Came the muffled reply as she slowly began to work her scent into his chest fur
“Wow, I’m a bad influence” He simply said under his breath before grabbing one of her sensitive ears and running his cheek over it, reciprocating on the scent marking as a soft gasp left her lips.