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The stars are beautiful, but isn’t that always true?
What Chaco is realizing in this moment as he sits beside Arupek on the soft ground in Ahirunopekkle Kingdom is that the answer isn’t so straightforward. Yes, the stars are always beautiful—Chaco’s seen them plenty in his own kingdom—but there were times they were more than that.
There were times when the stars were ethereal, almost stupidly so… such as right now. It’s sort of driving Chaco crazy.
“Nice, huh?” Arupek excitedly exclaims as he points at the sky.
Chaco’s eyes land on a bright star as he hums in agreement. “Yeah, it really is.”
The star twinkles; the light that the star exudes speaks to Chaco like nothing else. He supposes he’s always been fond of shining, spectacular things.
As Chaco thinks that, his eyes wander onto Arupek, whose eyes are reflecting the glittering stars in the sky. Chaco smiles softly.
Absolutely, he is fond of that kind of thing. His eyes stay fixed on Arupek, and he really can’t help it.
Even though they’re surrounded by nighttime darkness, Arupek’s presence feels so bright even against all the stars. It’s hard to face such a dazzling light, but Chaco’s eyes have become accustomed. He’s a bit blinded, but he’s willing to take it if that means being able to gaze at Arupek for an eternity.
Eventually, after some amount of time that barely registered to Chaco, Arupek dumbly glances back, his grin and eyes wide. “Chaco, is somethin’ up?”
“Oh, ah…” Chaco stammers, and (hopefully discreetly) his cheeks flush. “No, I really enjoy the stars, sorry… I just got a little distracted.”
“Eh? By what?” Arupek turns fully to Chaco.
Chaco smiles. Arupek’s raw concern was always endearing. “Hm, dunno… You?”
Arupek flusters and points to himself dramatically. A playful grin quickly follows. “Me!? Pff… What’s with that, Chaco?”
Chaco shrugs and waves his hand dismissively. “Who knows?”
“Chacooo! You can’t just leave me at that, jeez!” Arupek hits Chaco jokingly as he laughs. “Tell me!”
But Chaco doesn’t tell him. He just falls back onto the blanket they were sitting on, giggling and listening to Arupek’s addicting laughter. There was something fulfilling in hearing it. He liked seeing Arupek’s happiness preserved—he hoped to keep it that way forever.
Forever.
That’d be nice.
The laughter dies down as Arupek lays himself beside Chaco with his arms behind his head. Chaco blearily looks from Arupek to the sky.
“The stars always shine at night here, right?” Chaco asks softly, a stark contrast to his earlier teasing tone.
“Yeah! It’s pretty calming to know the stars are always here for us,” Arupek responds and turns on his side toward Chaco, his eyes lazily shut.
“I’d bet.”
As he contemplates Arupek’s words, Chaco slightly reaches his hand out towards the other’s on some irrational whim.
… Arupek really was like the stars. Radiant, so far from Chaco’s hold, but always there. It was weird for Chaco to want something that he couldn’t just have with a quick plea. He has to give chase to keep up with Arupek; not that he minds.
Arupek’s eyes flutter open, and Chaco flinches. His hand falters. Arupek blinks a couple times.
Without any hesitation, Arupek takes Chaco’s indecisiveness away and takes his hand into his own; their fingers interlock. Arupek’s hand is warm, unlike Chaco’s cold ones. The sudden act blanks Chaco’s mind and causes blood to rush to his cheeks.
Arupek wasn’t that far from his grasp after all.
“‘M glad we’re friends, Chaco…”
Chaco’s heart skips a beat even though Arupek specifies friends. “… I am too. I’m always here for you, Aru. Okay?”
Arupek smiles and opens his eyes a bit. “Ya mean it?”
“Obviously,” Chaco responds with a small smile. He doesn’t think he could leave if he wanted to.
“Well—I’m here for ya, too!” Arupek adds. “So… Tell me about what’s on yer mind when ya wanna. Don’t hesitate! I can handle it, I promise!”
Was Arupek that stuck on what Chaco was teasing about earlier? No way. Maybe Arupek was just catching on to how elusive Chaco could get sometimes. Chaco supposes that was somewhat inevitable as much as he doesn’t love the idea of opening himself up.
From another perspective, Chaco knows this is just how Arupek was—helplessly straightforward and kind and always looking out for others where he can. Of course that behavior was extended to the person he considered his best friend. And that makes Chaco’s heart warm even if it also aches in the same beat.
When even was it that Chaco realized his feelings towards Arupek were too strong to consider platonic? At some point, it became a deep, desperate desire for Arupek and that light of his to forever bless him, never to leave Chaco in the dark again.
Chaco supposes, if he wants that light to continue shining upon him, it doesn’t make sense to shun it out.
“Let’s see…” Chaco ruminates as he picks his words out slowly and too carefully. “I was just thinking that the stars are so radiant. It’s unlike anything I’ve seen.”
For Chaco, those words felt like relaying a deep secret: they’re an amalgamation of everything he feels for Arupek, veiled behind pretty words that sound like empty conversation.
But Arupek doesn’t even skip a beat, doesn’t falter nor seem to register any feelings behind those words. Of course he doesn’t, there’s no reason to. He just smiles back with the same radiant grin as always.
This is exactly how Chaco wants it to be.
“Huh… So even yer simple-minded sometimes, Chaco!” Arupek points out happily.
How blissfully ignorant, Chaco thinks.
“I was thinking something similar,” Arupek begins, now pointing up to the night-sky with his free hand. “I’m not too good with star names or anythin’, but I always see that star that’s right there. Ya see it?”
There is a disproportionately bright star in the sky. It’s the same one Chaco had noticed.
“Yeah. That’s… Sirius? Or something.”
“Ooh, yer so knowledgeable, Chaco-sensei~!” Arupek jokes before he points back up at Sirius. “It’s just so noticeable up there, so I always see it. ‘S sho large ‘nd bright.”
“Mhm, and it’ll continue growing, too,” Chaco replies, not really thinking of the star as he speaks. “Then it’ll shine even brighter on all of us.”
“I-Is that true!?” Arupek exclaims excitedly. “Then, I’ll come back here everyday ‘till I can fly up there. I wanna watch it grow brighter with my very own eyes…!”
Chaco giggles fondly. “Yeah? I’ll come with you then. I’d love to watch you fly up there.”
“Oh, yeah, ya definitely gotta come, Chaco! ‘Cuz I gotta know you’re there, believin’ in me too.”
“Of course. I’ll always be right behind you, Aru.”
Then Chaco leans toward Arupek and takes both of his hands, like how he had intended to initially. He holds Arupek’s hands between his own and simply admires the warmth with a small smile on his face. Arupek thought Chaco was the admirable one? Chaco almost laughs at the idea.
There’s nothing more admirable than a will to keep going despite everything. To continue growing and shine bright even when the world only seeks to ruin everything pure. Chaco wants that drive to never waver, because he knows he can’t make up for it.
Subconsciously, Chaco’s grip on Arupek’s hands becomes more taut as he brings them closer to himself. He doesn’t notice Arupek staring at him with wide and confused eyes. He doesn’t notice Arupek’s deepening flush. He doesn’t notice the glint in Arupek’s eyes.
“C-Chacooo…” Arupek murmurs affectionately. “Ya can’t just say that!”
Chaco blinks and opens his eyes. He gazes at Arupek, surprised by the loving look on his face—it serves to be one of the few things that can really fluster Chaco.
“Say… Say what…?” Chaco murmurs back.
“All what you just said? If you keep talkin’ like that, I’m gonna start feelin’ like we’re a married couple.”
Chaco gives a lighthearted sigh in response. “You say stuff like that, too, though…”
“I do!?”
Chaco wants to groan at that response, but he’s similarly so endeared by Arupek’s ignorance that he only smiles fondly. Arupek glances to the side then back at Chaco, looking starry-eyed.
A beat passes where Chaco and Arupek just stare at each-other, and the lack of usual back-and-forth banter feels stupidly apparent. Maybe that’s Chaco’s fault, but he can’t say he’s blaming himself—the look on Arupek’s visage is priceless. He couldn’t ever get enough of that face, even if he really did get married to Arupek and saw it everyday.
Something in that moment causes something to dawn on Chaco, that he isn’t the only one seeing stars when he makes eye-contact with Arupek.
Chaco laughs. He doesn’t even know what to do with that thought. All he can think is that in the end, he’s the ignorant one.
“Let’s stargaze again tomorrow, Aru.”
“Ehehe,” Arupek snickers. “You liked it that much?”
“Hmm…” Chaco moves a bit closer and lays his head on Arupek’s shoulder. He lowers his voice, then adds, “Yeah, but I think what I like more is being together with you.”
Arupek falters but ultimately throws his hands into the air. “… Then let’s look at the stars every single night!”
“Pfft, I don’t know if we’ll be able to do that…”
Arupek’s expression noticeably dampens.
“Ah, but, we can definitely try.”
Arupek lights up again. As per, he’s so simple.
Chaco sighs longingly as his vision reaches Sirius once again. He supposes he’ll be seeing that star much more often.
In a way, that agreement to stargaze each possible night was kind of a promise to “forever”. The idea of that brings a smile to Chaco’s face, and he finds he truly is just as eager to stare at the ethereal sky of Ahirunopekkle Kingdom each night as he is to be by Arupek’s side. He can only attribute that silly feeling to Arupek’s own excitement towards the stars because that bright, positive attitude of his is what makes the stars feel all the more beautiful.
Watching both the stars and Arupek grow brighter sounded like a lovely fate. And one day, under these same stars, maybe Chaco can find it within himself to say “I love you,” to the ever-dazzling sun.