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Eridan Ampora: Go Home
Your name is ERIDAN AMPORA, and you just finished tonight’s rehearsal for your school’s winter musical, KINKY BOOTS, in which you play LOLA. You love this show; however, YOUR SCHOOL chose the version that takes EVERYTHING FUN out of the show.
Moving on, you just finished REHEARSAL. You feel like shit. Partly because you are TIRED, but also because you have been STRUGGLING with your PRESENTATION. It’s not like you haven’t been putting on a good show, no. It’s more so outside of theatre. You have been male-presenting your entire life. Partly due to how you were raised. Now that you’ve had first-hand exposure to DRESSING UP, though, you’ve been thinking more about it than usual.
Your issue with your presentation was not simply born of this show. All your life you’ve admired more FEMININE PEOPLE and HOW THEY DRESS. You always wanted to be like them. You still wanted to enjoy dressing in ways that some perceive as MASCULINE, though. That was the hard part. You always struggled finding a LABEL. You once tried to bring up your curiosity with the idea of WEARING A DRESS, and he shut you down abruptly. Leave it to Drekyl “Dualscar” Ampora to be an ass about it. He told you you’d grow out of it. It was also why he hated the show you were doing.
Okay, back to the present. You are in the process of taking the MICROPHONES from backstage to the TECH BOOTH in the back. You are doing this to save time for the stage crew. It makes everything more efficient when someone with experience is still doing the mics, but all of the real crew members are resetting. You also partially do this to see the guy you’re crushing on, SOLLUX CAPTOR. You can’t tell whether or not your crush on him is FLUSHED or CALIGINOUS, but you know that you HATE THAT GUY.
You knock on the door.
He opens the door. His naturally deadpan expression somehow becomes even more deadpan. “Hey, asshole,” he greets you blankly, his lisp less prominent than usual. He’s been going to speech therapy for it last you heard.
“Hey, Sol,” you answer back. “Everything go smoothly tonight?”
“Smoother than your performance of Sex is in The Heel.”
You let out an irritated huff. Gog, did he get on your nerves. “Yeah, well, it’s not my fault they made it lame. The sound balancing didn’t help.”
“The balancing was fine.”
“Was it now?”
“Uh huh, now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go home. If you haven’t noticed yet, it’s ten thirty on a school night.”
He nudges you out of the way— way less harshly than you anticipated— and starts walking out of the auditorium. You grab his wrist. You weren’t done talking to this asshole.
“Hey! You can’t just-“
He pulled you in and kissed you. You were too shocked to do anything but stand there shocked. It was brief. Too brief, to be honest. He pulled away, clearly embarrassed. He didn’t know how to react to the shock on your face, so you both just kind of stared at each other for a moment, both of your faces flushed.
“Sollux-“ you started, before being rudely cut off by him.
“Fuck you,” he said with a smirk, BLACK INTENT still sparked in his ganderbulbs as he walked out. You laughed. Holy shit, you had it bad.
You walked out a few minutes later and got in your OLDER BROTHER CRONUS’S CAR. Well, brother-adjacent figure. He was just coming from rehearsal for his band.
“How was rehearsal?” He asked you as you put on your seatbelt.
“Good, you?”
“Likewise.”
There was a beat of silence. A few beats, actually. About seven had passed in the song on the radio before he spoke again. “Why do ya look like you just met Jeremy Jordan?”
That caught you off guard. Were you really smiling that much?
“What do you mean?”
“You’re uncharacteristically happy.”
“Ouch, first off. Secondly, is it really that noticeable?”
“Very.”
“…fuck.”
“Big D’s already in bed, y’know.”
“Don’t call him that. That’s gross.”
“And you’re the one to talk, Mr. Kinky Boots.”
“Okay, you’re taking the name at face value there. It’s not—“
He cut you off. “Yeah, yeah, ‘it’s not porn, it—“
You cut him back off. “It’s about a guy with a failing shoe business saving his brand by selling to drag queens.”
“In which you play the drag queen,” he added.
“Yes. Your point being?”
“That it doesn't necessarily reflect on ya the way you want it to.”
“Like I give a shit. You aren’t all that high and mighty either.”
“Fair point. Ya know I only want what’s best for ya, right?”
“…yeah,” you cave, “but it feels… right, y’know?”
“What, bein’ in a dress and lookin’ all pretty?”
You freeze briefly. How does one respond to that? Would he be supportive if you told the truth? Would it be better to laugh it off and change the subject? No, you’re in too deep now. Fuck. It’s not like he’d have too many issues with it. He’s the last person you’d expect to have an issue, in all seriousness. He’s transpecies for gog’s sake. Okay, fuck it, we’re doing this.
“…yes,” you confirm hesitantly.
“Like a girl?”
“…I guess so… not even, just… exactly that, yes.”
“…sweet.”
“…sometimes I still wanna dress like a man, though…”
He paused a moment, contemplating. “That’s okay, y’know. It’s all about um… balance or whatever, right?”
“Yeah, balance…”
“So… you kind of float between ‘em?”
“Kind of? I dunno… I don’t really like either…”
“So you’re neither?”
“…I think so.”
“That’s pretty damn cool, though.”
“You aren’t freaked out about it or anything?”
“Why would I of all people be freaked out?”
“I dunno, you… you um…”
“Nah, don’t worry, I’m fuckin’ with ya. I get it. It’s this weird irrational fear of what folks are gonna say even though ya know it’ll be fine.”
“…yeah.” The two of you sat in silence for a few more moments, before you broke it. “Um… thanks, by the way… for um… I guess stickin’ around?”
“It’s nothin.’ I’m in yer corner.”
“…likewise.”
“So… what happened earlier? About why you were so happy, I mean.”
“Well… shit, um… y’know Sollux?”
“Mituna’s brother?”
“…yes, that one.”
“Well um… I may be entering a um… a quadrant with him…”
“Which one?”
“That’s the fun part…” you chuckle dryly. “I still don’t know… it’s probably pitch, though.”
“Sweet… breakin’ the good ol’ family curse,” he noted jokingly.
“I guess so, yeah…”
“Good for you, E.”
You smiled slightly, still a little nervous about the fact. “Thanks…”
The rest of the drive passed in silence, but it was comfortable, like a weight had been lifted from your chest. Who are you kidding, the weight was definitely lifted.