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Alastor crossed one leg over the other as he took a seat on his porch bench, Lucifer’s voice filtering through the window. The King was cooking something on the stove, happy to be in their home away from home.
It was where they spent most of their time on the days they took away from others. Alastor had finally gotten the chance to be left alone with Lucifer, doing whatever it is they chose- the need for him being at the hotel wasn’t currently high.
Charlie had asked that, just for a week, Alastor and Lucifer take time for themselves. Lucifer had readily agreed, but Alastor had been more reluctant. Still, the deer had walked with the King to go to his room, watching as Lucifer prattled on about swimming in the swamp together, and that he wanted a picnic, and-
It had just been too much.
So Alastor merely smiled at the King and grabbed his book, stepping away to read. He just needed time to himself. Of course, Lucifer had been concerned about his reaction, but Alastor reassured everything was fine.
He wasn’t nearly as good as Lucifer with feelings- he bottled them up until they couldn’t be bottled anymore, and that had always worked for him… up until Lucifer came into his life. Now things were different. Alastor’s ears lowered slightly, wondering if he had made a wrong call-
And then Lucifer appeared with a new book for him and a tray of sweet tea. The King had mastered southern sweet tea to cheer Alastor up. “Fawn, I know that you are stressed out, so I brought you a new book and your favorite drink. Can I sit with you?”
Alastor glanced at the cup of sweet tea, but it wasn’t sweet tea at all.
It was strawberry lemonade, his guilty pleasure that Lucifer must’ve figured out. Oh- “...are those strawberries from Ponchatoula?”
“Yeah! I sent an imp up there to get them. I know you haven’t had them in a while. Figured I’d make lemonade for you and sweet tea for me. I have buttermilk cornbread in the oven too-woah!” Lucifer giggled as Alastor pulled him into a hug.
The Radio Demon pressed his face into Lucifer’s chest, purring softly and nuzzling him. This was the sugary sweetness Lucifer had wanted to see. Alastor had been a bit standoffish lately, likely due to stress or overall factors- probably even the fact that he hadn’t really had alone time in a good bit, but he was patient. The Devil had all the time in the world for the deer.
Lucifer stroked his hair as Alastor whimpered softly. “I know, my sweet fawn, I know you didn’t mean to be snippy. You never meant it. We need to talk next time, though, okay? Sickness and in health, mon epouse.”
Hearing Lucifer use his native language did more than he’d ever be willing to admit, and he whined more, pressing into Lucifer further. “Let me talk, please.”
“Of course!” Lucifer was so fucking patient. Always so patient..
Alastor nuzzled him. “Your patience is everything to me. I am not good with words; I never have been. I don’t know how to explain what I feel. I am terrible with feelings, and I am horrible when it comes to asking for things. I never want to ask too much of you, never want to take advantage of you. I want you to feel wanted. I just.. I don't want to be part of your pain. Never once. Sometimes, I fear I do, Lucifer. I feel I myself am a burden. You never are. You never were.” His ears flicked.
“And you never will be. I am much better at showing my love in person, and if you’ll let me, I’d like to. I’d like to give you all of me and more. I so very much adore you. Even if I'm terrible at showing it. I love and want you, I cherish you.”
Lucifer tilted his head, brow raised as he cupped Alastor’s face. “I am always patient with you, fawn, and I adore everything you are willing to show me. You aren't a burden, and you aren't taking advantage of me. You are one of the kindest people I have ever met, though you do tend to eat other creatures whole…” He leaned up to kiss Alastor’s pursed lips. “You are my favorite thing. And I love you. I always will. So long as you'll have me.”
“Always.” Alastor’s ears flicked, and he adjusted Lucifer to be more comfy on the swing, gently rubbing the Devil’s knees as he sprawled across Alastor to be more comfy. “You are-”
A memory..
Another memory in the form of a dream.
Why is it that his head plays on repeat the things he wishes he couldn't see, and it just makes him feel so
He feels so
Help.
H e l p .
Lucifer blinked slowly as he stared up at the ceiling, watching the tiny dust particles settle. How long had he been here?
Several hours? Days?
He couldn't remember.
He and Alastor had been emotional wrecks lately.
Alastor's stress was eating the deer alive, and he always internalized everything. It's a wonder he even trusted Lucifer to be there when he regressed.
It's a wonder he wasn't afraid to or felt like he needed to pull away. Alastor trusted him.
Sometimes, Lucifer felt like it was misguided, or maybe that he said the wrong things. Alastor gave him so much grace when his mouth felt like it didn't cooperate.
And Lucifer gave Alastor that same grace when Alastor didn't know how to express himself.
Stunted by his trauma from childhood and fear of abandonment that surfaced after his drop to Hell, Alastor was a loaded potato full of PTSD and repressed emotions.
So when he started regressing involuntarily around Lucifer, and it started healing pieces of them together, they let it happen.
Lucifer rolled over to lie back in the covers, grunting as he felt something biting him.
Licking him.
Did this creature just give his stomach a raspberry?
“...fawn?”
Alastor's fluffy ears perked up, and his tail wagged, clearly a sign he was feeling nonverbal just from that alone. He made a noise similar to that of an actual fawn, and Lucifer hummed.
“We talked about the licking, you know I don't like it.” Lucifer whined as he watched Alastor pout.
“à bras! à bras!! Luci a moí.”
Lucifer pulled the deer into the cuddle puddle of blankets, watching him settle against his chest.
“I know. I am yours. What have you been up to?”
“Ehhh, ah! Luci, toy? s'il te plaît.”
Alastor had been begging to restuff the dragon Lucifer had given him many months ago. He wanted the toy to be fluffier, so that he could sleep better and enjoy it, and they had gotten busy.
Suppose he could get the little fellow out, actually stuff him.
But that would mean getting out of bed…
Another lick to his face told Lucifer he was not going to be able to roll over into his depression again, so he sighed softly. A smile graced his lips as he threw the covers off.
“Alright, fawn. Let me get dressed.”
An hour later, they were eating some chicken nuggets and mashed potatoes while Lucifer stuffed fluff into the dragon toy. Dino, as Alastor dubbed him, and Alastor was playing with blocks on the floor.
Lucifer smiled as he watched the deer growl and topple his tower, giggling and stacking the toys again.
Alastor really was getting good at being his balm.
The medicine to the depression level that none of Belphegor's pills could fix.
Alastor was everything and then some.
And somewhere, in Lucifer's nugget-filled happy body, he knew that the deer saw him as the safe place, the home he never knew he needed.
The home he'd always wanted.
And that was okay.
That was perfect.