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Riku was always this impossible, untouchable thing.
Even when they were little kids, Sora could hardly keep up with him. He was always two steps behind. Riku ran faster and hit harder than everyone else, so all the other kids looked up to him. He was a bit of a loner, kept more to himself, but it didn't stop the rest of them from admiring him.
Sora was guilty of that, too, but because he was the most persistent, Riku gave him a chance.
Between scraped knees and the sand, they talked about everything they could think of. Destiny Islands and the world beyond that they couldn't yet imagine. They shared a hunger to see new realms, an insatiable desire to explore that couldn't be sated by their childhood homes.
Sora had told Kairi once, “We were always fighting before you moved here. He made me cry all the time.”
Kairi had laughed. “I guess that means he was your first love.”
Sora had frozen, his face suddenly hot. He couldn't tell whether Kairi was making a joke or that she meant it.
Perhaps she could see where she'd put him. She was always a little better at reading Sora, he thought, than he was at reading himself. Because she'd smiled, catching his eye, and put a finger to her lips, like this, whatever this was, was their secret.
Sora never talked about those kinds of things with Riku. The closest they ever got to each other was when they fought, when Riku knocked him to the sand and pinned him down, his breath rasping and near, his sea-green eyes startling from this close.
Then he'd grin, once Sora stopped struggling, and offer to help him back up. And they didn't talk about the way Sora felt himself go limp under Riku, or the way Riku pressed his palm to Sora's chest, and surely he could feel it racing. They didn't talk about those things. They never had to. They were just that: Sora and Riku.
And Sora knew he would follow him anywhere.
On the day that Sora woke up under the mansion in Twilight Town, well over a year since his world was first destroyed, someone else's name was caught in his mouth:
Riku.
As he pulled his friends from their own strange sleeping pods and they stretched out their wobbly legs, he told them what he had to do. Donald and Goofy had shared a glance Sora didn't like, but they only said, “We still have to find the King, too.”
“Maybe they're in the same place.”
Goofy was the one who finally admitted, “Sora, I don't know if Riku's...”
Sora didn't give him the chance to think of a way to end that sentence. “He helped us close the Door to Darkness, didn't he? He must still be on the other side.” Sora's heart ached. In all that darkness...
But Sora shook off his worries, pressing his lips together. Riku had had the King with him. They could protect each other. They must be alright.
Riku was strong—so strong. His heart had prevailed, even after that awful Ansem had overtaken Riku's body. Riku had looked like himself again, just before that door closed.
Sora still remembered the sensation of Riku's fingers skimming his own—cold, calloused and certain—for just the barest moment. And then Riku had been gone.
Sora couldn't say why he was asleep under that house, or really remember how he'd ended up in there in the first place, but his heart's compass pointed him to its true north. While his friends sought the King, Sora was only looking for one thing and one thing only.
Wait just a little longer, please?
Every last world could've turned its back to Riku, and Sora still would have continued searching. Even when none of his friends in the other worlds knew where Riku had gone, even as Goofy and Donald wondered aloud whether Riku had forsaken the light once again, even when the King himself wouldn't give Sora answers. Even then. Even then.
Sora could see it in the King's eyes. Riku was out there, and maybe he wasn't ready for Sora to find him. But that wouldn't stop Sora.
Through all the worlds they visited and all of the people they met, there was only one who referred to Riku by name. And of course he would know Riku. He was Santa Claus.
Sora blushed when Santa reminded him, “There's a friend of yours, isn't there, who convinced you not to believe?” Because, it could only be Riku. It'd made sense, back then. How were they supposed to know that Santa's sleigh had the power to traverse entire planets in the blink of an eye?
But the comment brought a memory surging through Sora, of laying down under the Christmas tree beside Riku as they played with action figures among the torn gift-wrapping paper and sparkly bows. There was a shy little smile Riku had when he thought nobody was looking, this secretive little thing. When he caught Sora staring, he always made a point to wipe it away, but Sora remembered.
How Sora longed for that boy, for their hapless childhood in Destiny Islands, when the biggest thing they had to worry about was whether their moms would be mad for coming home late and covered in sand.
Sora didn't think about Destiny Islands often. He couldn't. When he remembered that evening he'd come to in Traverse Town, drenched with seawater and scared out of his wits, shivering, bleeding, haunted by the shadows that had befallen his home, imagining how his mother must have screamed—
He'd had to unplug the memory. He had to disconnect from it, or else it would be the only thing he thought about, and he wouldn't be able to stand.
In moments like this, when he was made to remember, a rush of feeling surged through him, regrets and dreams, and most sharply a longing. They'd restored all the worlds after they defeated Ansem, which meant his mom and all his siblings were still waiting for him to come home.
...Riku's mother and father, too. Still waiting. After all this time.
A cold wind blew, and Sora refocused. He wasn't at the idyllic shore back home. He was standing in the snow, and Santa was watching him with sympathy and a hint of sorrow.
“Remember, if you believe in Riku, you will find him. Just as you found me.”
Sora knew.
He didn't have to see his face beneath that hood, or even hear his voice.
It was his sword. The way he fought, close and cutting, always daring Sora closer, always quick to retaliate. He sent Sora sprawling more than once, knocking the wind straight out of him, but when he could have closed in for an incapacitating blow, he didn't.
Obviously, Sora's mystery assailant was Riku.
Vindication swept through him once he'd reached the Emperor's side and learned their mystery visitor had seen to him first: He was rather rude.
But he'd shown up just to warn the Emperor of what was coming. Sora's heart warmed. It had to be Riku. It couldn't be anyone else.
Behind him, he knew his friends were exchanging loaded glances again. Why was Riku wearing an Organization XIII cloak? Well—None of that mattered. Sora would find him, and he would wrest the truth out of him. This time, he'd be the one pinning Riku to the ground.
A trill rushed through Sora at the thought of Riku, finally bested, with no choice but to look up at him. All his life, Sora had been in pursuit. He was finally going to make Riku see him.
Twilight Town. Hollow Bastion. The Land of Dragons. Beast's Castle. Olympus. Disney Castle. The Timeless River. Atlantica. Halloweentown. Agrabah. Pride Lands. Space Paranoids.
The World That Never Was.
Sora had traveled forward and backward through time, had searched among the far reaches of the cosmos. He'd chased many a black cloak's trail, and he'd fought a near-uncountable amount of Heartless—enough to form that heart-shaped moon in the sky.
He'd asked everyone he came into contact with. He'd searched, and he'd searched, and he'd searched.
And now, Riku stood in front of him.
He was a twisted mirror of himself, unrecognizable in the Organization's cloak and the shape of Ansem, Seeker of Darkness's body. Sora searched his eyes, but even these didn't give any hint of Riku within them.
Then Kairi took his hand and put it in Ansem's. “Close your eyes.”
Sora did. For a moment, he saw nothing.
And then—
The figure in front of him resurfaced in his mind, but now he was familiar. Painfully.
The shock of it sent Sora to his knees. Though Riku's hand twitched, Sora squeezed it tighter. He couldn't let him disappear again.
“I looked for you!”
It was Riku's low, cutting voice that responded. “You've got to pull yourself together.”
“I looked everywhere for you!”
Tears were cutting down his cheeks. He couldn't return home—hadn't let himself return home—not until he had Riku, too.
And now...
Riku's voice tightened. “I didn't want you to find me.” Not like this, Sora understood.
Yet he was always there. Guiding them to seek the truth of things. The truth of Ansem, and Xemnas, and Kingdom Hearts itself. He'd been right in front of them. Just a few steps ahead.
Someone's hand touched Sora's shoulder. He looked up, and there was Kairi, uncharacteristically stern. She held out her other hand and helped Sora to his feet.
They looked at Riku, together. Riku, who had given himself over to the darkness, who had so wholly become it. And for what end? To stop the Nobodies? To infiltrate the Organization?
To help Sora while he was asleep, during that period of time he couldn't remember?
Sora's face heated. It couldn't—It couldn't be all for him, could it?
Now Riku wouldn't look at him, but when Sora closed his eyes for long enough, he could make out the afterimages of Riku's own face in the dark, pale and moon-touched, all but his eyes, which had been obscured with a blindfold.
Sora's heart thrummed. They were so close to the end. Soon, they could return home.
By his side, Kairi took his hand and squeezed it.
Sora turned to her. His heart churned in premonition when he said, “You were right.”
Kairi cocked her head.
“Riku. M-My first...”
Kairi's eyes blew wide. A shocked smile spread across her face.
Then, gently, she pulled Sora toward her and murmured, “Once you defeat Xemnas, he won't have a reason to rely on the darkness anymore.”
Sora was dizzy with the implications of that. To see Riku's face bathed in the light once more—
Sora's eyes swam. He hurriedly wiped them before following after his friends.
Sora opened his eyes in the aftermath of the explosion. His head spun, but his mind was starting to connect back to his body. He could still see Kingdom Hearts floating above them, but a great, gaping hole oozed pink from its center. The sky remained dark, littered with stars, or perhaps illusions of them. Sora heard someone stir beside him, and he looked.
He felt himself go very still.
“Riku..?”
His friend rolled over, and it was Riku's face that met his.
He was taller now, though not nearly as tall as Ansem had been. And his silver hair had grown out, his bangs shadowed over the blindfold he still wore.
Sora sputtered. “You gonna take that off?”
“Oh...”
Haltingly, Riku did. And his eyes met Sora's.
That same sea-green, pale as the waters at dawn. Riku's eyes, Riku's features, Riku's warmth pulling through his complexion.
Sora managed to ask, “What was that?”
From behind him, the King said, “His eyes couldn't lie. He had to shroud them in darkness to fully accept its power.”
“Lie?” Sora blurted. “And who were you trying to fool? Huh?” He pushed himself into Riku's face, and he felt the force of Riku staring at him, making him flush.
Riku was momentarily stunned. Quietly, he said, “Myself.”
Sora's gaze dropped to Riku's mouth. He struggled to right it. “Riku... Come on, man! Why did you try to do so much on your own? You've got all these people who want to help you. Your friends, and...” He couldn't bring himself to say it.
But Riku seemed to hear. His voice fell low, rasping. “Have you forgotten, Sora? I'll tell you why.” He stopped to smirk, and the look was so quintessentially Riku that Sora swooned. “It's because I'm not a total sap like you.”
Sora grabbed him by the shoulders, startling both of them.
Then, before he could regret it, before he had the chance to second-guess himself, he drew Riku close and kissed him, hard.
Riku pulled away first, his hair almost standing up on end, his face totally red. “Uh—” His eyes were wide, and he stared at Sora, his breath hitching. “S-Sora—You—Y-You—”
Sora couldn't help himself. A big, bashful grin stole across his face. “Say that again, Riku.”
And all of their friends started laughing, but nobody louder than Kairi.
Sora didn't know how long he could stay there, soaking in Riku's presence, watching him struggle to speak. He gazed at Sora with such—such fondness. It made something deep inside of Sora stir. He thought maybe he could finally stop running.
But it was Mickey who broke them apart, squeaking, “I'm sorry—now is not the time! We have to stop Xemnas!”
Sora bit his lip, guilt prickling him. He pulled away from Riku—but not before Riku squeezed his hand, once, not looking at him as he let go.
Sora breathed in. Xemnas first. And then after...
He let a secret smile pull across his lips as he picked up his keyblade and set forth anew.
“...If this is what the world really is... just this... then maybe I should fade back into the darkness.”
Sora reached where Riku had collapsed, kneeling on the sand. He crouched down beside him. Once he caught Riku's eye, Sora pouted up at him. “You've been spending too much time in the darkness, Riku. Think positive! At least...” His heart was pounding. He had to catch his breath. Maybe he was more injured than he thought. Xemnas, all those nobodies, and that walk onto this strange, inverted version of the beaches he'd grown up on had done more to him than he realized. “At least the realm of light is safe now.”
Riku's eyes flecked to his. It was strange. There wasn't any light here, in this muted, dreary space, but Riku's pupils shone.
When Riku started to struggle forward, Sora offered his shoulder again. Slowly, carefully, they crawled over to the shore. Sora could hear the water now, its low shushing sound. It sounded so much like home that his heart ached.
The rush of the battle still pulsed through Sora's chest, but in this subdued calm of the far-reaching darkness, he let himself rest at Riku's side, his head falling on Riku's shoulder. The worst of the adrenaline began to drain from his body.
If he had to stay here, then so be it. At least now he could finally stop moving.
He's been running, running, running for so long. Chasing after Riku. Searching for the Door to Darkness. Pursuing Organization XIII. Fighting. Fleeing. Hoping. Even in his dreams, he found little rest. There was always someone else in need.
Now, it was just him and Riku in the silence of the darkness. Sora was starting to understand the appeal of it, why Riku had been drawn to this side. It was strangely calming.
He started to open his mouth, but Riku beat him to it.
“Hey, what I said back there? About thinking I was better at stuff than you.” Sora glanced at him, and, blushing, Riku started to look away, but he managed to hold Sora's gaze. “To tell you the truth, Sora... I was jealous of you.”
Sora blinked.
Jealous. Jealous?
“I wished,” Riku continued, his voice meandering, unsteady, “I could live life the way you do. Just following my heart.”
Sora sighed. He was so tired. In the beginning, Riku had dragged him all around the other worlds, and for what?
But at the same time, he felt something latch deep in his chest. After Destiny Islands, he'd never had a chance to sit and talk with Riku.
“Yeah, well,” Sora began, “I have my own share of problems, too.”
“Like what?”
“Like... wanting to be like you.”
Riku's eyes widened. Slowly, he said, “Well, there is one advantage to being me. Something you could never imitate.”
A smile started to trace Sora's lips. “Really? What's that?”
“Having you by my side.”
Sora's smile softened, shy. He glanced at the ocean, caught the bare outline of his reflection. “Maybe I'm okay the way I am, then. I've got something you could never imitate, too.”
They were silent for a moment, and the ocean filled in, low and sonorous. Sora couldn't tell whether he was sad or happy. He felt so close to home, yet so far.
“...Riku?”
“Yeah.”
“Remember the storm on Destiny Islands? When our home went away?”
“...Yeah.”
“I was so scared. I couldn't find you or Kairi, or”—Sora's voice broke—“my mom, my s-siblings... I-I-I thought—”
Riku's arm fell around Sora's shoulders. He pulled him closer, squeezed him. Their cheeks brushed. Quietly, Riku said, “I was scared, too. Maleficent made it sound like our world would never, ever come back. Her goal was to shroud every world in darkness. If that happened...”
A pit opened in Sora's stomach.
If that happened... then Sora's family really would be gone, forever.
Riku's breath hitched. “My parents must be so mad at me. If they haven't forgotten all about me, that is...”
Sora's throat tightened. “If I haven't forgotten,” he breathed, “then they couldn't have, either. They love you.”
“Yeah, but... you know...”
Sora nudged Riku, forcing his head to turn. They looked at each other. Sora had trouble seeing him at first, between the moisture in his eyes and the shadows all along the beach, but he thought he could see Riku crying, too.
“Riku,” Sora started to say, faltering.
But Riku heard him.
He leaned in, gently taking Sora's face in his hands.
“I'm sorry,” Riku blurted.
“Stop it,” Sora said. “No more of that.”
Still, he was hesitating. Drinking in Sora's image, afraid to distill it by moving any closer.
Sora inched his head forward, and that was when Riku closed the gap between them.
This kiss was slower, longer, more pronounced. They both were prepared this time, and they wanted to mean it. Sora could feel Riku's breath on him, fluttery with nerves. But when he started to pull back, Sora wrapped his hands around Riku's wrists, holding him there. Riku gasped quietly, and he let himself fall into the contact. Let Sora hold onto him.
They pulled away reluctantly, both breathing hard.
Before Sora caught his breath, Riku burst out, “I was so jealous. I burned up with it. I just wanted you to look at me.”
Sora's face warmed. He inhaled slowly, admitted, “But you were always a few steps ahead of me. I was scared I couldn't keep up.”
“I thought—I thought you would never...”
Now Riku was blushing. He started to pull away from Sora, but when Sora weakened his grip on Riku's wrists, allowing Riku to slip free, Sora reached out and wrapped his arms tight around him. Riku stiffened for a second, then melted, embracing Sora. He tucked his head into Sora's neck.
They held tightly to one another. Now that he had Riku here, Sora didn't want to let go, not even for a moment. He was so warm, so gentle. Sora thrummed with affection.
Quietly, Sora said, “It was Kairi who made me realize. She said the way I talked about you, it was like... like you were my first love, or—or something.”
A weak laugh escaped Riku. He squeezed Sora. “Maybe so.”
Sora thought, if Riku was here with him, then he could be okay with this. Finally, they had one another. But he missed Kairi—and Goofy, and Donald—and his mom...
Sora closed his eyes, holding Riku as tight as he could. If he didn't, he was scared he would fall apart.
But Riku held on.
What drew them to let go was the sound of something splashing in the water. Riku released Sora with one arm to pick up the thing in the water. He shook droplets off of it, and it caught in the filtered light—a glass bottle with a message inside. Riku let go of Sora all the way to uncork it, pulling out the letter.
Unceremoniously, he handed it to Sora. “Think it's for you.”
And as Sora began to read, he heard Kairi's voice spark to life within the verse, and he felt his heart begin to glow.
Kairi...
When he looked up, a light had opened on the other side of the ocean, bright as the sun.
The door to..?
Unsteadily, Sora rose, brushing sand off his shorts. Then he extended a hand to Riku. He took it, his fingers threading through Sora's.
They began to wade into the water, letting the light brush across their skin, warm and inviting. The farther they went, the more it touched, until it had bleached everything around them, until all Sora could see was its brilliance.
After Donald and Goofy had all but trampled Sora in the ocean, and after Riku had spun Mickey around, and after the both of them had hugged Kairi while she laughed and laughed, giving them terribly knowing smiles, and after they'd both gotten chewed out by their families and changed into dry clothes, Sora found Riku at his old favorite place.
Sora crept up to where he leaned against the old twisted paopu tree, but Riku glanced over to him before Sora reached him. Sora could never sneak up on him, not when they were kids, and not now, either.
Riku sighed. “Nothing's changed, huh?”
“Nope. Nothing will.”
“What a small world.”
“But part of one that's much bigger!”
Sora resonated with that idea. He'd thought he was one single, complete person, but now he knew there was so much more inside of him. He held so many new memories and experiences, had seen so many worlds, met so many people.
And now, he was home.
He smiled at Riku, and Riku softened, his eyes bunching at the corners.
“Hey, Riku? What do you think it was—the door to the light?”
Riku paused, considering. Then he reached out and tapped Sora's chest.
Sora stared down at his finger.
Riku's voice was so much closer, all of a sudden, his tone raspy.
“This.”
Sora swallowed. “This?”
“Yeah. It's always closer than you think.”
He started to pull his hand back, then paused, then started to reach for Sora again. A nervous thrill flew up Sora's spine. He wrapped his arms around Riku's neck, and then Riku rested his hands at Sora's waist, and Sora caught the familiar smell of Riku's old shampoo.
Riku smiled just before kissing him, and Sora could feel it on his lips. It was infectious.
They both giggled when they pulled apart, eyes catching. Then Sora leaned in again, and Riku caught him, kissing him longer.
“Riku! Sora!”
Squawking, they broke away from each other, both red in the face.
Kairi had snuck up behind them, grinning mischievously. Sora stuck his tongue out at her, and Riku hid his red face in his hands. Kairi looked at Riku and doubled over, her laughter overflowing.
She set down the glass bottle she'd been holding and reached out, wrapping her arms around both of them. Eventually, Riku managed to pry his hands off his face enough to accept her embrace. Sora hugged the both of them, smiling so hard it hurt.
Kairi said, “We're finally all together again.”
Riku glanced at Sora. Sora shared a knowing look with him. Finally, Riku started smiling, too.
“Yeah. Finally.”