Chapter Text
Your chat with H @CellrryZ
(3:28pm)
Are you comfortable receiving naked pics of British boys on this device?
(3:42pm)
…
Seriously?
I don’t mind
Hi
(3:44pm)
Oops… sorry wrong chat
Bye!
Wait wait wait
(3:47pm)
I’m sorry, ok. Forget that. Wasn’t for you.
(3:50pm)
Oh ok 😢
So you don’t want my pics?
(4:10pm)
You’re oddly invested for our first talk user @CellrryZ
I’m bored and stuck at work
And… you were going to send me nudes?
While at work? You’re insane!!!
Sorry ! Gotta go!
Boss is calling me
But..
Okay
You’re gone
Bye I guess
(4:50pm)
Ok. My idiot boss left me alone.
We were saying?
(4:55pm)
Are you sending me nudes now?
👀 🍑
(5:10pm)
Where are youuuuuuuuu
(5:20pm)
Come back
We were bonding
(6:10pm)
Ok. Hope you’ll come back at some point
(6:20pm)
I’m back.
You scared me a little ngl
(6:22pm)
Should I call you H or do you have a name?
(7:36pm)
Oh heyyyyyyyyy
H is fine. Or Harry
You? Do I call you Louis?
I can continue with Brit Boy too.
(7:37pm)
Sounds a bit more filthy. I like it 🤭
(7:45pm)
You’re weird
*You* started it with the all weird stuff
Offering naked pics at 3pm on a random Tuesday
Again… you’re weird
But…. Good weird?
Don’t know. Considering blocking you tbh
So why did you send me that dm?
Told you. Wrong chat.
(7:47pm)
Why were you offering nudes?
And to who?
Do you have a regular dealer?
I can be that. I’m a good photographer.
Do you want proofs? 👀
(7:51pm)
Louis? Still here?
You’ve got ten more minutes
(8:25pm)
And then what??
(8:30pm)
Don’t tell me you’re gone again
(8:40pm)
Harry?
(8:45pm)
You have to stop that 🙄
꒰ ✉︎ ꒱
(4:13pm)
Hey! Sorry. I’m back.
Three days later…
(4:15pm)
But I’m back
(4:29pm)
Also, I think I went a bit too hard last time. So… sorry for that too 🥺
(4:30pm)
I promise I can be normal. I’m just a Zayn fan like you. But I was quite excited that day and well, my stress levels were high bc of my life. So I let it all out on you.
👉👈🙈
(4:33pm)
You still here?
(4:34pm)
Louis
Louis Louis Louis
(4:46pm)
Louuuu
(4:53pm)
Oh... I see you’re reading the messages
(4:59pm)
I’m still debating on what to say
(5:01pm)
Hello Harry. How have you been ?
Hello Harry. How have you been ?
I’m fine. It’s my day off so I don’t have anything to do, really.
(5:04pm)
Was catching up on my filthy dm’s
And you, Louis? What are you doing today?
Apart from replying to filthy dm’s?
(5:15pm)
It was a joke and wasn’t meant for you
So no actual filthy dm
You’re no fun
(5:16pm)
Whatever
Oh oh… someone is in a crappy mood
(5:30pm)
Long day
Do you want to talk about it?
So now you’re my therapist
And I barely know you
(5:31pm)
Louis
Never mind
Find another British boy to annoy
Hey
(5:32pm)
I’m sorry. I didn’t want to be a bother
Forget it. Bye
(5:34pm)
Wow. Okay.
꒰ ✉︎ ꒱
(6:06pm)
Sorry about the other day.
Shit day at work. Shit day at school. Shit life.
And then I came on this app… and my dash was a fucking hellhole.
Again
(6:07pm)
So, yeah. Am sorry I lashed out at you. Wasn’t fair at all
You haven’t blocked me, so that’s a start
(6:09pm)
Anyway…
Hope you’re not upset
(6:12pm)
Did you know you can use ALT+D+F+F as a shortcut to apply a filter?
What the fuck are you on to mate
On excel
Really useful
(6:13pm)
Your pseudo makes sense now
I can send dick pics AND handle excel like a pro
Well…
It’s not just excel that I handle like a pro
(6:14pm)
💀
You wanna tell me more about your shit day?
No
Ok
You wanna tell me more about your dash being a hellhole?
I mean you see it probably too.
(6:15pm)
People being dicks to Zayn because he cancelled his last show. The man cannot even be sick for one day.
Fake fans all of them
I’d be frustrated too if it was my show. But a little bit of empathy, no?
Ugh I’m pissed off again
(6:16pm)
Wow. Okay
ALSO
Oh you’re not done
I hate when “fans” are stalking him.
(6:17pm)
What do you mean, you coincidentally are in front of his hotel at 2pm on a Wednesday with your vinyls in your bag? It’s just fucking weird.
Omg. I need to calm down.
(6:18pm)
Ok. Rant over.
I think.
Thanks for listening
As if I had a choice
But yeah, I agree. Sometimes I wonder why I’m still in the fandom 😩
Apart from my moots and Zayn’s music of course.
(6:19pm)
Do you know what you need?
Stop following dickheads?
No. I think it’s time we talk about this naked pics thing again…
Louis?
Oh come on
Is your gf in the fandom?
Only rational explanation why you don’t want my pics if you want my opinion
LOUIS
(6:20pm)
We have to stop ending our convo like this
It’s annoying
🙄
😒
You’re annoying
🖕🏻
Hey 🖕🏻
Are we communicating with emojis now?
✌🏻💃
(6:23pm)
❌🍆
👀👀👀
You know that ❌means no, right?
Not in my world!
You’re such a spoiled brat
🔥
Break over!
See you later, alligator 😘
(6:24pm)
Yeah right, pumpkin ✌️
Look at you using emoji 🥹
Don’t get used to it
꒰ ✉︎ ꒱
(10:26pm)
Did you know your eyes blink around 20 times a minute?
Like
Ten million times A YEAR
Like I blinked 5 times writing to you
(10:27pm)
And I’m the weird one
No but listen
👂
You fart enough in one day to fill a party balloon
The romance is definitely dead between us
Are you reading an encyclopedia?
No
(10:28pm)
Are you… high?
Not right now
(10:30pm)
But maybe I should
(10:32pm)
🌱💨
꒰ ✉︎ ꒱
(10:02am)
Can I ask you something ?
(10:06am)
Just getting to the point I see
Manners Harold
(10:15am)
Not my name
Hello Louis! How are you? Fine but tired thank you. Did you have a good day? Didn’t kill anybody so I’d say pretty good.
(10:17am)
Are you done?
No
Is it personal ?
My dick pics?
Don’t make me block you
Always threatening but never blocking 💃
Harold
Lewis
Your gf must be so brave
(11:38am)
Is it personal?
(11:45am)
What is?
Your question
Oh
I guess
In a way
Don’t feel a pressure to answer it
It doesn’t matter in the end
(11:46am)
Doesn’t change a thing between us
Harry. Please stop and ask your fucking question.
How old are you?
(11:50am)
Wouldn’t you like to know?
Guess 👀
Ok lemme think
(11:55am)
I don’t have many clues 😩
(11:57am)
Your bio says 20+, you’re working and studying, and you smoke weed.
At least you pay attention
Oh and you’re quite boring.
Should I do a deep dive on your account?
Am not a stalker though. Just trying to make a new friend 🥺
(11:58am)
I don’t think you’ll find anything on my profile but you can try. I’ll watch.
(12:10pm)
Watch me 🤓
Ok. home show in Manchester
(12:14pm)
Proves nothing
(12:18pm)
You must be about 5’9” based on the camera angle of your pics, you tiny little thing
Oh my god
And fuck you 🖕🏻
🫶🏻🫶🏻
Is that your hands around my neck?
Are you flirting with me ?
(12:21pm)
You seem to be able to actually bond with online people, seen how you went to the show with like 1659 of your moots. I’m a bit wounded you don’t wanna befriend me.
Who are you??
I’m Harry
Anyway.
(12:22pm)
Your moots are all between 20 and 25, so I guess you’re in those ages too.
(12:25pm)
I have older moots
(12:28pm)
Hmm yeah. But you’re not in the Vintage fans group. Which you’d be in if you were old enough.
bc you’re such a fanboy. You wanna be in every group.
(12:45pm)
It’s not just blocking anymore. I need a restraining order
(12:50pm)
Maybe you do 😉
Ok. Next, since you’re still at school, I’d go with about 22-23.
The lack of emoji also indicates that you’re one of those people typing complete texts with correct grammar.
Excuse me for being literate
(12:58pm)
Are you studying to be a teacher or something?
Not telling
Or maybe you’re learning something where you need to be polite all the time. And boring..
(12:59pm)
Just like you
I’m actually studying something a bit boring yeah
(1:01pm)
Look at us! Perfect for each other
🥰🥰🥰
It was sarcasm, love
“love” 🥰
I need a puking emoji
Why? You wouldn’t text that to me, right?
(1:03pm)
🤮
Found it!
😭😢☹️😔
My heart is broken 💔
As long it’s not your dick
No, that’s doing fine, thank you!
So, keep guessing my age! I’ve gotta go
(1:04pm)
You don’t want to know mine?
Nope
(1:22pm)
I’ll tell you anyway
I’m 22. Sure you would have never guessed
(1:56pm)
And you’re gone again 😒
(1:57pm)
Where do you disappear to?
(2:02pm)
Louuuuu
꒰ ✉︎ ꒱