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Aizawa Shouta stood at the front of the classroom, or rather loomed would be the more appropriate word. Without speaking, he grabbed a piece of chalk and began writing on the board in smooth, captivating strokes before he turned back to face the class.
“Today, 1A, it has come to my attention that certain heroes and schools have a habit of brushing this one thing under the rug. I’m sure many are familiar with this topic but please raise your hand before you speak.”
Bullying.
That was the very word that left Katsuki’s breath unstable and mind racing. He immediately glanced around to find looks of disdain, winces of understanding, and the occasional arrogance. Then he locked eyes with Deku and felt his heart plummet.
Deku’s expression was unchanging, pitiful as ever but with a small hint of… malice? Oh he wouldn’t. Katsuki grit his teeth in defiance and looked back up at the board.
“Before we start, I would like to emphasize the importance of empathy and sympathy in this lesson. Nothing said here will leave the classroom unless me and Present Mic are concerned for your or someone else’s wellbeing, or we’ve received consent to send this to Hound Dog,” Aizawa tapped his knuckle on the door, “Come in.”
“Hellllllo little listeners!!” Mic grinned and Katsuki scoffed at the following silence. “O-kay then! Tough crowd, hm? Can someone give me an example of bullying?”
“Oh he’s getting right into it…” murmured Kaminari.
People shifted uncomfortably for a few moments, and Katsuki couldn’t figure out why for the life of him it made him feel so uneasy. It wasn’t like they’d talked to people from Aldera Junior High. Teachers had never cared enough to protect the quirkless kid, much less document everything. There was no evidence. That is, no evidence besides Izuku.
If Izuku had decided to go up to one of the teachers and tell them everything about Katsuki, about the things he’d said, the things he’d done, it was over. No more Hero course, he’d probably be blacklisted from all the ones in Japan.
“You wanna be a hero so bad? I’ve got a time saving idea for you. If you think you’ll have a quirk in your next life… go take a swan dive off the roof!”
Cocky, arrogant Katsuki had said things like that time and time again, but the look on Izuku’s face that day was one he couldn’t erase from his mind. The way he’d stood clutching his shoulder, eyes filled with loathing. Really, Katsuki shouldn’t have said anything more in the following days but the incident with the sludge villain had ticked him off more than he thought possible.
Eventually, Kirishima spoke up.
“Using your quirk to hurt someone weaker than you.”
“That’s correct, thank you Kirishima. Anyone else?” Mic asked.
“Making fun of people with villainous quirks, kero?”
“Yes,” Aizawa interrupted, “but I’d like to take this time to remind you all that no quirk is inherently villainous. Both Toga and Vlad King have blood quirks, the only difference is how the quirk is used.”
“Thank you Aizawa-San,” Present Mic smiled. “Any others?”
Deku raised his hand.
Katsuki felt time slow around him.
Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum.
He saw every minor expression flashing in Izuku’s face all at once. Saw the way he sobbed up at him from the ground, saw the bruises and blood, saw the boy desperately clinging to the pant of his leg with every ounce of strength he had left to beg him to stay. All at once it came back to him and the extras who used to follow him around were right there standing at his side, chiding Katsuki for going easy on Deku. He remembered the smell of burning flesh under his hand and thought he was going to be sick right in his seat.
He felt Aizawa’s cold gaze boring into him though his vision was too blurred to tell, and Katsuki found himself holding back dry heaves into the palms of his hands.
Slowly, he recognized Izuku’s red shoes padding towards the exit and realized whatever the nerd had planned to say had already been said.
Had he given an example so specific that it would be traced back to the two of them? Mentioned explosions so that the whole class would piece it together and ruin his life? In an instant there were eyes on his back, burning holes into his rotting flesh and becoming fodder for the higher ups. He would face the consequences of his actions as he had always deserved to, but he’d hoped it wouldn’t have happened until closer to graduation.
A firm hand squeezed his shoulder, snapping Katsuki out of his chance but the second he locked eyes with his teacher, he. Couldn’t. Breathe.
There were people and smells and colors and textures and he could feel his skin wrapped around his bones and his hearing aid suddenly burned into his flesh and iron filled his throat and, and, and—
“Breathe, Bakugou.”
What?
“In… out. Can you do that? In… out…”
His sensei’s voice held authority that forced its way into the forefront of his thoughts.
In… out. He could do that, yeah. He could do that.
It took a few minutes, but eventually Katsuki could breathe again and realized how tightly his nails had been digging into his arm. People were still looking at him though.
“Alright Bakugou. We’re going to get up, and I’m going to take you into the teachers lounge, okay?” Aizawa said slowly. Katsuki nodded.
His mind was still too fuzzy to register the walk there or if there had been any people in the halls, but he felt better when he could sink into the soft cushions of the couch.
“…I didn’t mean to do it,” Katsuki whispered.
“That’s okay, you’re here now.”
“No that’s not… Where did De- Izuku go?”
Aizawa hummed, “He just needed to use the restroom. Why do you ask?”
“No reason.” He mumbled quickly. So he hadn’t been ratted out after all. He felt gross.
“Do you want to talk to me about what happened back there Bakugou, or do you just want some quiet space for a bit?” Aizawa was careful to keep his tone level, speaking to Katsuki as though he were a scared kitten on the streets. The boy supposed that was as good a tactic as any, though his dignity was holding onto shreds.
“I don’t want to talk about it. And you better not ask Izuku about it either.”
“I can’t promise that. I'm concerned for your wellbeing and if you can’t tell me, there’s no other way for me to help but to ask the person who seems to know you best.”
“No, you can’t!” Katsuki hissed as he felt his sensei cancel his quirk on instinct. “It was something complicated from the past. Bad memories. That’s all you need to know.”
“Hah… fine. I’ll wait a little longer, but if you have another panic attack we’ll need to figure out what happened.” Aizawa conceded. “It’s UA policy to help our students, and we can’t do that if I don’t know how I can help you. I care, Bakugou.”
“Thanks,” Katsuki mumbled and curled into himself.
He slept until the lunch bell rang, numb to the swollen feeling in his eyes and churning stomach.
He didn’t know if he’d have the strength to eat, not if he had to see Izuku. He would know. And there was no worse shame he could feel than knowing that he, the one who hurt Izuku, was having panic attacks over events he wasn’t even a victim to. If anyone, it was Izuku who should’ve left the room crying. Katsuki couldn’t even bring himself to hate the freckled boy anymore. Just regretful.
Knock knock.
“Bakugou? Ya there?” A familiar voice came. “It’s me, Kiri. Sensei said I would find you here?”
“Yeah. Sure, come in.”
The door opened to spiky red hair and Kirishima sporting the widest, cheesiest grin possible. “Hey! I missed you man.”
Katsuki chuckled but returned it with a soft smile. “Idiot.”
“So, um, you gonna come with us for lunch? Or maybe I can get your lunch with mine and eat in here? Or if you want alone time that’s cool too,” Kirishima rambled.
“Dunno… I’m not very hungry.”
Kirishima frowned, “C’mon man, you need food in your system. You’ll get sick.”
“I’m fine. Just get your lunch and come back, it’s boring here.”
“Aw didja miss me that much?”
“Shut it,” he glared, then as an afterthought added “You’re good enough company.”
After a few minutes, red hair finally came back into view through the slim window of the lounge.
“I thought I told you I didn’t want anything?” Katsuki grumbled at the second plate.
Kirishima chuckled, “Who said I got it for you? I got it so I wouldn’t have to go back for more food.”
“Tsk.”
For the next ten minutes they sat comfortably next to each other. It was a mix of silence and conversation, but after he caught Bakugou staring at the food, Kirishima gave a knowing laugh and plopped it on the other’s lap.
“Hey, uh, Bakugou?”
“Hm?” Katsuki glanced up in between bites.
“You know you can always talk to me right? About anything?”
And boy did Katsuki discover the sun wasn’t the only thing that made his face look sunburned. “Mm, same to you.”
“Yeah!” Kirishima grinned in acknowledgment as he got up to toss his food tray. “Class is ‘bout to start! Everyone’s worried about you bro, you might want to figure out what you’re going to tell them cause, while I won’t push, others probably will.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know that. I’m working on it.”
“Hmm… want me to go in first and tell people not to bother you?”
“No, I can handle it,” he said.
His stomach was still churning and foreign emotions kept smashing into his nervous system. Bakugou knew he couldn’t avoid Izuku forever, but he dearly wished he could. For some reason, being around Kirishima had helped him calm down. It was strange, but comforting and Katsuki almost wished he could give him a quick hug. Not that he would ever admit that out loud.
Deep breaths.
The bell rang, and lunch was over. All that was left was to return to class.