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It didn’t happen how he thought it was going to happen, and Yosuke had spent a lot of time thinking about his first kiss. His mind had always been full of what he should do and what he can expect. For as open and friendly as he tended to be, the world could be so easily shoved into two categories: “what does happen” and “what doesn’t happen”.
Yu, of course, has become the master at shattering all his expectations.
What was supposed to happen was pretty cliché. It changed slightly over the years, but it had mostly been influenced by television shows and a few storybook handheld games. It would begin at a school—teenage romances always center around school, after all—right after lunch break. Yosuke would open his shoe locker and find a love note written in neat, rounded, feminine script. It would be a shy confession and a request to meet later on the school roof. If he was lucky—and he would be, maybe, for once—the note would be a cute stationary and smell vaguely of a girlish perfume.
He would go. Of course he would go! It would be after school, maybe after all the club rooms have cleared out. Just in time for sunset. You know, ambiance? In his original plan it would take place in the city and they would be able to see skyscrapers in the background, highways and the red and purple reflection of the sun off all the office buildings. He would find her standing by the fence, unable to watch his approach, but she would be waiting.
He would have her note and ask somewhat knowingly if it was from her. She wouldn’t be able to make eye contact at first, but nod, playing with the hem of her skirt. When she finally looked up, she would be blushing, reiterating her attraction and affection that she had copped to in her letter, but hearing it in the voice of another person would warm his heart. But he would be cool and collected, as he likes to be in his mind. Touched, but not excitable.
She might still catch him off guard when she would stand up on her toes, bravely catching his lips with hers in a quick kiss, before her own nerves would get the better of her. There would be the faint lingering of some sort of fruity lip gloss—strawberry is the most recurring flavor. Yosuke might laugh, but be charmed, and ask her to be his girlfriend. Or at least out on a date. That only seemed fair.
It…definitely didn’t go that way.
Obviously, the first change was that there was no girl. There was a guy. And his name was Yu Narukami, and he has been one of the most intriguing, confusing, and endearing people that Yosuke has ever met. And when they met, the thought that he might be kissing this guy someday had never crossed his mind.
The next change was that it didn’t happen at school. It didn’t even happen right after a heartfelt confession. Looking back on it, Yosuke is pretty sure he wouldn’t have been able to handle it at the time. Accepting the fact that the feelings he had for Yu, intense as they have always been, were swinging hard away from platonic was startling enough of a revelation.
They were pretty careful at school. While pretty much anyone with a set of eyes could tell they were good friends, anything but was saved for later. Yosuke had actually been surprised how little ended up changing between them, at least at first. It gave him a sense of comfort that he hadn’t realized he needed.
Weeks went by with their usual fair. School, work, the television, dotted with hangout time mixed with studying in between. The changes were slow. They were already close, but they began sitting closer. A hug might linger, a hand might stray to stay resting on a knee as they watched movies or played video games. It was nice, it is nice. But after a while, it felt like there was something else waiting for them just around the corner.
Yu was the one to bring them around that edge. Of course he was. Yosuke relied on him a lot, it only made sense he would follow Yu’s lead. But truthfully? He was just worried he would suck at it. And that, somehow, that a boy’s lips wouldn’t be right, wouldn’t be good enough. And he’d realize that he couldn’t do this at all.
That didn’t happen.
They were in Yosuke’s room, for once. The usual occupant of Yosuke’s closet was otherwise occupied with his mother getting dinner ready downstairs. Under the guise of homework, the two sat on his bed, the lines of their legs pressed right up against one another. They sat like that often, but somehow even Yosuke knew it was a little different. Something about the silence that hung over them—not awkward, not uncompanionable at all, but heavier, a little anxious.
Yosuke’s hands hung in his lap as Yu shifted slightly, his left hand finding a place to rest on the mattress just behind Yosuke. He became keenly aware of the way the bed moved, slight as it was, as he was keenly aware of every bit of Yu. Yosuke looked up immediately, catching Yu’s gaze. He never realized how long Yu’s eyelashes were, but for the moment, that was the only thought that seemed to be coherent. Who allowed that sort of thing at all? It didn’t seem fair.
He wasn’t sure when Yu moved again, but he felt the gentle touch of Yu’s fingertips at his cheek and chin. His heart thumped in his chest, some part of him knowing what was coming. There was a pause on Yu’s end, his eyes warm and welcoming as always, but never pressuring. Yu had always been more comfortable with the idea, this whole being with another guy thing, ever open-minded and unassuming of others. He was patient, waiting for an okay, which Yosuke gave before he realized he was even ready.
Slowly, Yosuke leaned in—equal parts curious, excited, and noticeably nervous. There was a pause on Yu’s end as if he was assuring that Yosuke was, indeed, silently agreeing. But once he accepted the move, he wasted no time. Yu leaned forward, gently and languidly as Yosuke had at first, but halfway through he closed the distance in the second of a heartbeat.
And his heart did beat. Yosuke’s did. It jumped in his chest and threatened to break free, pressed against his ribs, strong and light at the same time.
Their lips met and Yosuke’s first thought was that Yu’s were surprisingly soft. He wasn’t sure what he expected other than the fact that guy lips should somehow feel manly, but all that registered is that they were…yes, soft. And warm, pressed gently against his own before they began to move.
Oh did they move in ways that were so simple yet made his head empty and his heart sing. Really, it wasn’t fair. It’s never fair with Yu.
One kiss melted into two as their mouths slid together. He inhaled sharply through his nose, feeling Yu exhale through his own. The hand on the mattress found itself on Yosuke’s upper back, while the hand at his cheek slowly trailed down to lovingly rest above his heart. Yosuke’s right hand twitched, raising off his lap and dumbly looking for something to do. His knuckles bumped Yu’s stomach.
He laughed airily, sheepishly against Yu’s mouth.
Yu smiled against his lips. And kissed him again.
And again, and again, and again.
So Yosuke’s first kiss was really like ten, or twenty—he stopped keeping track in favor of memorizing each time they connected. It was on his unmade bed with half-finished homework sitting in front of them. There was no sunset, no heartfelt confessions, but you know what? That’s okay. It was organic. It was them.
When he looks back on it, the only thing Yosuke misses from his fantasy was the taste of strawberry-flavored lip gloss. But…he knows better than to mention that to Yu.
The guy is crazy enough to do it.