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Squiddo reads her lines over and over again, but there was something else clouding her mind, and it wouldn’t stop.
She verbally snaps out of it, “Okay Squiddo,” She says to herself, “focus. Just focus.”
She lifts the script closer to her face and reads her lines over again, memorizing them.
She lifts the script away from her face onto her lap, ready to recite her lines. She opens her mouth, preparing to act like an actress never has before.
But she closes her mouth.
She forgot her lines.
Again.
She audibly groans and smacks her head onto her vanity. The makeup and haircare shake along with the desk.
She was alone in her dressing room until three knocks on the door interrupted her train of thought.
She pulled her head up and rubbed her forehead with her palm, “Come in!”
The doorknob twists and the door opens.
Behind the door was Hannah, Squiddo’s colleague in the production. She was also an old college friend of hers.
“Hey, Squiddo.” Hannah greets, “you're on in a bit, your blocking scene…14, I think?”
“Yes, yes, I know.” She stresses, “I just…I can’t get my lines right.”
“Well, I’m sure you need help of some sort, right?”
Squiddo jerks up, “Yes! I never thought of that!” Squiddo turns toward Hannah anxiously in her chair, “Who are we thinking? You, Blocky, 4C?”
“I was actually thinking of Ash.”
Squiddo’s heart stilled at the sound of his name.
“On second thought, help is not needed.” Squiddo turns back to the vanity mirror and looks at Hannah’s reflection through it. “Thanks for the suggestion.”
“Why not? Ash is on next scene, he’d be happy to help! And I’m sure it would help with the scene’s chemistry.”
“I just remembered I like working alone.” Squiddo looks away from Hannah and begins mumbling her lines from off the paper.
“Squiddo,” Hannah smiles and places her hands on her hips, “do you have a thing for Ash?”
Blood rushes to Squiddo’s cheeks, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Hannah giggles and steps outside, “Sure, okay. I’ll see you in a bit.”
She closes the door and the room was Squiddo’s again.
Okay, so maybe Squiddo did have a thing for Ash. But she couldn’t let feelings get in the way. This was her workplace after all, love would only make it worse.
But love had no remorse.
The heart is just a muscle with rhythm on its own.
It doesn’t stop just stop when you desire.
~~~
The spotlight was blinding Squiddo’s eyes.
“So what do you think I should do?” Ash places both his hands on Squiddo’s shoulders, desperate for an answer.
Squiddo studies his face. His long eyelashes, the way his midnight coloured hair is neatly swept in different directions, the absurd amount of blush they put on him—it suits him.
“Uh,” Squiddo stutters. She's lost for words, and that wasn’t an act.
“Ahem…” Ash says, “What do you think I should do?”
“Cut!” The director yells, “Squiddo, take five!”
“Yes, please.” Squiddo grabs her water bottle behind the props and scurries off.
Ash is left to his own devices on set. From the corner of his eye, he sees Hannah approaching him.
“Hey, Ash!” She waves.
“Hi, Hannah.” He says, still watching the exit Squiddo left through.
“Quick question,” Hannah begins, “what are your thoughts on Squiddo?”
“Um,” Ash finally looks at Hannah, “why?”
“No reason.” Hannah shrugs. “You guys sort of lack scene chemistry, and you two always are awkward during interviews.”
“I see nothing wrong with Squiddo, we just never really had one on ones.”
“How come?” Hannah curiously places a finger on her lip.
“Well if you must know,” Ash side-eyes her, “our characters only started interacting this season, before then, we never really talked before.”
“Mhmm…that checks out.” Hannah mutters to herself.
“Why do you care exactly?”
“I don’t know, thought I’d address the elephant in the room.” Hannah smiles, “Anyways, bye!”
And she strolls off.
Ash cocks an eyebrow at the sudden intervention, but he couldn’t care as much as he should’ve.
Maybe Ash should get to know Squiddo.
She seemed nice from all the clips he’s seen, she was funny, too.
How had he never thought to before?
Ash’s pondering was cut off by Squiddo’s entrance.
“Okay, I’m back!” Squiddo walks back in from where she left.
“Great!” The director gives a thumbs up, “whenever you’re ready.”
Ash takes a deep breath and looks over to Squiddo.
“So,” Ash firmly sets both his hands on Squiddo’s shoulders, “what do you think I should do?”
“I…” Squiddo looks down at her feet, Ash had almost forgotten they were acting, “I think you should go for it.”
“Really?”
That’s when something inside Squiddo clicked. Maybe she should go for it.
Squiddo swallowed, “Really.” It was almost like she was saying it to herself.
Ash smirked, “Thank you.” He took his hands off Squiddo’s shoulders.
Squiddo smiled back weakly and quickly hurries off set, hurt.
“Cut!” The director yells, “That was perfect you two, that’s exactly what we need for filming day, can you do that?”
“Yep.” Squiddo and Ash say in unison.
“Okay, next scene!” The director states who’s on for the next scene while Squiddo and Ash get out of the way.
Ash hurriedly comes up to Squiddo, “Well, I’m on next scene as well,” Ash begins, “but I wanted to say that that was some good stuff!”
Squiddo freezes at the uncalled for compliment, “Seriously?”
“Of course.” Ash reassured.
“Well, um…thank you! You did great, too!”
“Keep it up.” Ash raises his fist, indicating a fist bump.
Squiddo awkwardly stares at his hand.
She was going to graze his knuckles. She was red at the thought of it.
She goes in for the fist bump.
Their fists bump. It was extraordinary. Squiddo had never felt such joy in bumping knuckles.
Ash had walked off to go block his next scene while Squiddo stayed behind to watch.
She giggled giddily, and she couldn’t stop.
“That was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” Hannah says behind her.
Squiddo flinches at the voice. “You saw that?”
“All of it.” She smirks.
“Golly, Hannah!” Squiddo squealed, “I fist bumped Ashswag! The Ashswag!”
“Yeah, that's him.” She laughs.
“Wait,” Squiddo frowns, “I sound really stupid right now.”
Hannah burst out in laughter, members in backstage crew gave her annoyed glances, but she didn’t pay them mind.
“Oh my God,” Squiddo buries her face into her hands, “I sound like a kindergartener who’d seen a snail for the first time.”
Hannah threatens to stumble backwards if she laughed any harder.
“Stop it.” Squiddo blushed embarrassingly, “It’s not funny.”
“Yes it is.” Hannah wipes tears of laughter from her eyes, “It really, really is.”
Squiddo rolled her eyes at Hannah.
But she secretly enjoyed the moment her and Ash had just shared.
She wouldn’t wash her hands ever again.
~~~
Squiddo tossed and turned in her bed until her muscles hurt from doing so.
The same thought she had throughout the entire production—and more intensely each time—was bothering her.
And of course it had to be about him.
She knew she had to shoot her shot with Ash before anybody else did, and with a face like his, she knew it would be very soon that somebody would try to.
She was currently in her hotel room that the production crew had booked while they were out of state on an interview. As well as an event the following day.
Squiddo knew she had to wake up early for it, but it was 1AM in the morning and not an ounce of sleep caught up to her. Ash took over her mind too often for her to rest properly.
She clutched her pillow and shut her eyes tight.
Sleep, Squiddo, sleep! She thought to herself, as if she was rooting in a sleep marathon.
She opened her eyes again and peered at her phone on her bedside table.
She stretched out her arm and grabbed the tip of the phone in an attempt to pull it towards her with minimal effort. When she pulls the phone close enough for her to reach, she grabs it.
She clicks the screen to be blinded by her wallpaper of The Garlic Hamster. She quickly lowered her brightness and unlocked her phone.
She looked around the room in case anyone was there before opening up Wattpad and searching something she did daily in hopes of an outcome.
Her fingers’ muscle memory came into action while typing.
Squiddo x Ashswag
Once again, there was no result.
Squiddo groaned and opened her Instagram to look at Ashswag edits before a notification popped up at the top or her screen.
Hannahxxrose : Heeyyyyy, you awake??
Squiddo peered back at the clock on her bedside table.
It was 2AM.
How long had she been looking at Ash edits?
TheRealSquiddo : Maybe…
TheRealSquiddo : WHY are you awake this late?
Hannahxxrose : I could say the same.
Squiddo didn’t really know why either. She just assumed it was normal.
TheRealSquiddo : Got me there.
TheRealSquiddo : You wouldn’t text unless you need something??
TheRealSquiddo : Is everything okay?
Hannahxxrose : Everything’s great.
Hannahxxrose : But you're active on Insta, why?
Squiddo had forgotten to turn off her activity status. Maybe she should go to sleep. Or she should make a new private account as an excuse to look at more edits. Who needs sleep when you’ve got a fanbase?
TheRealSquiddo : No reason.
Hannahxxrose : Ashswag?
TheRealSquiddo: Bingo.
Hannahxxrose : Call me.
Squiddo grabbed her wireless headphones from her purse on the floor and set them up. She had then received a call from Hannah. She accepted the call.
“Shoot your shot already!” She yelled into the microphone.
“You're going to get a noise complaint if you yell any louder.” Squiddo retorted.
“Don't go around scolding me, look at yourself!” Hannah argues, “You melt at the look of Ash through the screen, let alone real life.”
Squiddo choked on her own words. As much as she hated to admit it, Hannah was right.
Squiddo had to get her act together before anything majorly embarrassing happened to her. It would be the downfall of her self-esteem.
“I just…” Squiddo stutters, “I just don’t know if I’m ready.”
Hannah exhales emphatically, “So when will you be?”
Squiddo took her words into account. Once again, Hannah was right. At the end of the day, she had nothing to lose. Maybe some speculation online, but nothing major.
That’s when Squiddo set the record straight.
She was going to shoot her shot.
~~~
“Thank you so much for joining us today, it’s been an honor.” The interviewer goes to shake everyone on the cast’s hand, including Squiddo's.
The spotlights went off and the cameras stopped flashing. The cast collectively let out a sigh at the signal they were finally off air.
“Okay, I’m outta here.” Squiddo whispers to Hannah on her left. Squiddo stands up, her legs sore from crossing them.
“Take me with you!” Hannah begs, pulling herself using. Visibly shaky in her heels.
“Let’s go to the food bar.” Squiddo suggests.
“Yes.” Hannah exhales.
~~~
After asking several different backstage crew and taking various turns down suspicious hallways, they finally found their pride and joy.
The food bar.
The food bar was lined with unique muffin flavors, fresh fruits, canned drinks, coffee machines, scones, and so many more.
Squiddo dared to drool at the sight, it was marvelous. She could practically hear the choir.
Beaming, Squiddo runs toward the stacks of plates, cups, and utensils. She would take at least seven of everything. Hannah follows close behind her, taking a plate of her own.
As Squiddo scans the table and grabs the tonsils of the spring roll stacks, she drops the tonsils at the sudden bump at her shoulder. Squiddo looks over to see Hannah giving her an alert look, but Squiddo was too hungry to realize.
“Hey!” Squiddo whines, “What was that for?”
Hannah rolls her eyes and points her nose across from Squiddo’s shoulder, hinting her to look in that direction, “Ahem.”
Squiddo jolts her head in that direction, she didn’t even try to hide it.
Squiddo immediately regrets her decision of making it obvious.
Because what stood past Squiddo’s shoulder was Ashswag.
“Well don’t make it obvious!” Hannah whisper-shouts.
Luckily, he hadn’t seen Squiddo’s sudden head jolt, but it was still embarrassing.
Hannah looks at her in anticipation.
“What?” Squiddo asks.
“Shoot your shot, remember?”
“What should I say?” Squiddo stresses.
“Just…invite him to dinner when we get back home or something.”
“No!” Squiddo stumbles back, “That’s way too far!”
“Just go!” Hannah pushes Squiddo hard enough to trip into Ash.
Squiddo heats at the sudden touch of her face on Ash's chest.
“Woah!” Ash says in surprise, backing away slightly from Squiddo, “You good?”
Squiddo chokes on her own words, blood rushing to her cheeks. They stand in awkward silence for about ten seconds before Ash says something.
“Uh,” Ash looks at Squiddo concerningly, “Squiddo?”
“Oh!” Squiddo snaps back, “Haha! Hey Ash!” She smirks unconfidently, “What brings you here?”
Ash smiles, “Food.”
“Really?” Squiddo beams, “Me too!”
She realized how stupid her comment was.
Ash chuckled, “Have you considered becoming a comedian instead of an actor? You were hilarious during the interview.”
Squiddo freezes, still as a rock.
He though she was funny.
“Did you need something?” Ash asks.
“Oh, well…” Squiddo looks over at Hannah, Hannah's thumbs going up in support, “I was wondering if you wanted to go to a coffee shop when we got back to set?”
“I don’t see why not.”
Squiddo beamed, “Great! Awesome!”
Ash waved with one hand, his plate in the other, “I’ll see you around, Squiddo.”
He strolls off.
“Bye.” Squiddo whispers under her breath, mesmerized by the way he walks so majestically.
“You did it!” Hannah yells, setting her hands on Squiddo’s arms, “You actually did it!”
Squiddo exits her trance and gives Hannah a look, “What? Did you think I wasn’t?”
“Uh,” Hannah tenses, “No?”
Squiddo places her hand atop Hannah’s head and looks at her exhaustedly, stare boring into her eyes.
“Me neither.”
“Come on,” Hannah grabs Squiddo’s hand to drag her to where the muffins are, “let’s get you a treat to celebrate.”
~~~
Hannah slumps on her hotel door.
“I’m so exhausted.” Hannah groans, holding her heels with her index and middle finger. Her dress was plain and simple, but beautiful nonetheless. She was wearing an orange folded off the shoulder dress, white see through tights, and matching orange heels.
“That was quite the event.” Squiddo ignores Hannah’s complaint.
“I can’t wait to see the unflattering photos paparazzi managed to take of us.” Hannah pulls out her hotel card from her purse. “React to them with me?”
“As long as you’ll let me drool over Ash.” Squiddo smirks.
“You have my word.” Hannah promises.
“I’m going to go pack.” Squiddo says. “We’re leaving tomorrow morning, I can’t afford to slack on the job.”
“Yeah…okay.” Hannah admits, “I’ll go take a nap and get to packing later, cya”
“Night.” Squiddo salutes.
Squiddo walks down the hall until she takes a left to her room. On this left corner, she wouldn’t expect to see Ash.
Ash was oddly planted onto the wall, as if he was eavesdropping on someone.
“Hello?” Squiddo greets.
“Oh!” Ash says in surprise, “Squiddo! Didn’t see you there.”
“Gee, that’s believable!” Squiddo says obliviously.
Ash takes a look at Squiddo, scanning her.
“You looked great tonight.” He smiles.
Squiddo flusters, she thought she had finally got her act together after the food bar incident. “T-Thanks!”
“You ready to go back home tomorrow?”
Squiddo places her hand on her cheek, “I was just about to go pack, actually.”
“Yeah,” Ash slumps, “I should do that, too. But I am way too exhausted.”
Squiddo chuckles, “Ditto.”
“Do you…” Ash rubs the back of his neck, “do you want me to walk you to your room?”
Squiddo perks up at his question, did he finally begin acknowledging Squiddo after months—practically years—on the same production?
“That would be great.”
~~~
“This is the address.” Squiddo whispers to herself.
She was currently standing on the porch of Ash’s house. It was an L shape from the stairs. Chairs and tables were set comfortably towards the front lawn sprayed with colourful peonies and orchids. A small angel statue was placed in the middle, surrounding it were solar paneled lanterns.
It wasn’t too far from Squiddo’s apartment.
It was awfully middle class considering his salary, but it was nice. She just didn’t expect it from Ash.
She stared back at the door, a sign hung from the hook.
See it, say it, don’t delay it!
Squiddo adjusted her glasses and knocked on the door in her signature tune.
She heard the heavy steps come down the stairs and soon the shadow through the film of the door windows.
Two clicks in the lock later, Ash was at the doorframe in a navy blue V-cut shirt and dark blue jeans. It was different from his usual attire, but she guessed this is what he wore casually, it suited him.
“Hey, Squiddo,” Ash smiles, “sorry about me not being able to pick you up. My car’s at the workshop and it won’t be done for a while.”
“No, it’s all good,” Squiddo shrugged, “I like driving anyway.”
Ash and Squiddo step down the porch to reveal Squiddo’s rather…unique car.
From the outside, it was an orangey-pink Audi with custom stickers plastered all over the back window.
Ash continuously pulled on the door handle until the car unlocked. He settled into the plush leather seat.
“So,” Ash buckled his seatbelt, “where are we headed?”
“Well my dear passenger princess,” Squiddo inserts her heavily decorated keys into the ignition, “we are headed to the finest coffee shop in town.”
“What may that be?”
“Some place I used to work before I went down the acting gig.” Squiddo admits unapologetically, “I never expected to get big in the industry, but here we are.”
“So it’s nothing corporational?" Ash asked.
“No,” Squiddo says, backing up the car from the driveway while peering at the outside rearview mirror, “just some local coffee shop teenage me used to work at that I can assure you you’ve never heard of.”
“You know what,” Ash says, “I trust your judgment.”
“I’m aware I sound crazy but it’ll all be worth it.”
“Is that so?” Ash grins.
“You won’t regret it.” Squiddo reassured.
Ash slumps down in the leather seat and examines the car. A duck car freshener hung and dangler from the inside rearview mirror, and the front of the car displayed two bobble heads. Heavy from Team Fortress 2 and Papyrus from Undertale.
“You own this car with no shame.” Ash finally comments.
“I’m expressive, what can I say?”
Ash holds in a snort, “Is that Heavy?”
“Yes.” Squiddo stares intently, “It bobbles without remorse.”
Ash finally laughs aloud, “Bobbles without remorse?”
“Shut it, passenger princess.” Squiddo retorts. “This is my turf.”
“Whatever you say, Cap.” Ash wipes a tear of laughter.
~~~
Ash pulls out the chair near the window spewed of vines and golden hour light.
“How do you like it?” Squiddo smiles lightly, head resting on her hands.
“I’ll determine whether or not I like it based on the food.” Ash says bitterly. He hadn’t gotten a good food recommendation in a while. He wouldn’t be fooled by the scenery.
However, he had to admit that it had nice seating.
“So…” Squiddo grabs a napkin placed on the table and folds it in half over and over, “any plans after the production is over?”
Ash leans back in his chair, “Thinking that far ahead, are we?”
“Eh,” Squiddo shrugs, “I wouldn’t like to be unprepared.”
“Well,” Ash puts his finger on his lip, “I’ve heard of this thing called the Unstable Universe? They asked me if I could join and to ‘give them a chance!’ because they think it’ll be their big break.”
Squiddo laughs, “Come on, Ash. Give’em a chance!”
“I will.” Ash smirks, “I’ll just pull a character death on them if I’m uninterested.”
A waitress appears with a flowery note book and a pink pen with a pompom on top.
“Hello, how can I help you?” She readies the pen onto the notebook to begin writing.
“Ash?” Squiddo looks over, awaiting his order.
Ash flusters, “Um…Squiddo, you first.”
“Okay…” Squiddo looks back at the waitress, “black coffee, please?”
“Noted.” She raises her pen and looks at Ash, “And for you sir?”
Ash stutters. “Come on, Ash.” Squiddo grins.
“Uh,” Ash burrows his face into his hands, “A Cherry Sakura Croissant please.”
Squiddo’s jaw was fixed open, speechless, on the verge of a laugh.
“Sorry, what was that?” The waitress leans in slightly.
“I said,” Ash looks at Squiddo frowning, “A Cherry Sakura Croissant.”
The waitress only smiled, “Is that it?”
“Yes, thank you.” Ash said embarrassed.
The waitress strolls behind the counter and begins fiddling with the coffee machines while Squiddo’s gaze is still set on Ash.
“Ash,” Squiddo giggles, “there’s no way.”
“What?” Ash looks away from Squiddo.
“Cherry Sakura Croissant?"
“I was curious.”
Squiddo only laughs silently, trying to cover her face while doing so.
“You’re aware you’re not fooling anyone, right?” Ash cocks an eyebrow.
Squiddo only lets out her laugh. Ash shielded his face awkwardly with both hands.
Ash hated to admit he liked the way she laughed, a lot.
He attempted to cover his smile at the thought that he made her laugh.
But he did it with others all the time, why was this time any different?
He thought back to Squiddo's comment he had heard back in the hotel.
As long as you'll let me drool over Ash.
The thought tied his stomach into knots, but he liked it.
He wanted to let it stay for a while, just like Squiddo.
~~~
Squiddo slumps in the chair of her car while Ash munches on the huge cotton candy.
It was late at night, about 11PM. Squiddo and Ash couldn’t resist the carnival they saw on the way.
“Come on, Ash! Hit the cups!”
“I’m trying!”
“Try harder!”
“My limbs can’t handle the crushing weight of the ball!”
“It’s a Ping pong ball.”
Squiddo giggles at the thought. “Thanks for the bear.” Said bear was currently limp in the backseat of Squido’s car.
“Don’t say that.” Ash retorts, mouth full of sugar, “I didn’t earn it.”
“Of course you did!” Squiddo claps her hands together.
“I had to buy it, Squiddo. Buy it, not win it.” Ash pouts. “So shameful to my lineage…”
Squiddo sighs and smiles, “You did great.”
Ash flinches, blood rushing to his cheeks, “You look great.” He hadn’t meant to say that, but it was certainly true. She did look great.
Squiddo freezes.
You look great.
She was living the dream. Her dream.
“Thank you.” She croaks.
They stare at each other intently, at least until Ash’s eyes widened as he clutched the car handle.
“Thanks for the ride and the fun date.” Ash opens the door and looks over his shoulder at Squiddo, “It’ll be my turn next time.”
“See you tomorrow?”
Ash stands and holds the car door to close, “Tomorrow.” He smirks.
The car door slams shut and Squiddo watches Ash go in before she leaves.
She was left speechless, mesmerized by what had just happened.
Her little crush on Ashswag had turned into something bigger. To make it even more insane, Squiddo was able to maintain herself around him. She had had a successful date with Ashswag, and she still couldn’t believe it.
She was just so comfortable when it came to talking to him. She felt at ease, like she didn’t have to fake it or put on her best self. Just to be her. It was refreshing. He was so easy to talk to that it was suspicious.
It was too good to be true.
~~~
Squiddo made it home at her apartment by 11:30PM. Her apartment wasn’t far, but most of her time was spent thinking about how well it went.
She was convinced it was a fever dream.
She pulled out the keys from her purse, and just as she hovered her keys over the door lock, something in her purse vibrated.
Hannahxxrose : HOW’D IT GO??!!??!1?
Hannah might be more excited than Squiddo was.
She couldn’t explain it over text, so she called her instead.
The call only rung out for half a second before she picked up.
“Oh, Hannah,” Squiddo began, keeping the phone microphone close to her mouth. She sets the keys in with a click and unlocks the door.
“Squiddo!” Hannah squeals, “How’d it go? Tell me everything. Don’t exclude a single detail.”
Her tone was a rollercoaster ride of emotions. It went something like:
A little kid seeing their mother after a long day at school, a concerned friend asking about your job interview, and a concerned mother all at once.
Squiddo squeezes the phone in between her ear and her shoulder while taking off her coat and throwing it onto the ottoman next to the door.
“Dude,” She started, taking the phone and setting it on speaker while locking the door behind her, “It went so well.”
“Oh my God, tell me more!”
Squiddo set the phone on her kitchen island and opened up the fridge, browsing.
“First we went to a local coffee shop I used to work at.”
“Oh,” Hannah mutters, “wouldn’t be my first choice, but if it went well I might consider.”
Squiddo pulls out a Buldak and sets it on the island next to the phone, ignoring Hannah’s comment, “He got a ridiculous order, and we were just talking about our plans after the production.”
“Okay…”
“He said I should consider joining him in this Unstable Universe production?” She begins clicking buttons on her microwave.
“Oh, I’ve heard of that. Every actor you could think of is getting invited. Seems to be high budget.”
“Hm,” Squiddo says, “maybe I should try.” Squiddo places the Buldak into the microwave, closes it, and clicks start.
“Continue,” Squiddo could practically hear Hannah lean into the phone.
“I was going to drop him off again but—”
“Wait,” Hannah cuts in, “you dropped him off?”
“Yeah?” Squiddo stretches out, watching the Buldak spin in the microwave, “His car is getting worked on or something.”
“Not a good start for Ash. Squiddo one, Ash zero.”
Squiddo rolls her eyes and continues, “On the way, we saw a carnival going on and we both couldn’t resist…so we went.”
Hannah gasps.
“We spent hours playing games and talking, it was so much fun.” Squiddo began to blush at the thought of it. “We bought cotton candy but I couldn’t finish it so he did the honors.”
“Squiddo!” Hannah says in awe, “That’s adorable! I’m so happy for you.”
“You know what else?” Squiddo leans onto the island near the phone, head resting on her hand. “I was cheering him on, saying he did great in the minigames—which he didn’t.”
“Where are you going with this?”
“I told him he did great.”
“And…?”
“He said I looked great.”
Silence on the line, the only thing heard was the ding of the microwave indicating her Buldak was done.
“Shut. Up.” Hannah finally says.
“I know.” Squiddo pulls the Buldak out of the microwaves and grabs her reusable chopsticks. She aggressively sticks it into her meal.
“Squiddo,” Hannah says blandly, “Squiddo, this is huge.”
“I know.” Squiddo smiles before shoving her mouth in with warm noodles.
“I don’t know what to say.” Hannah thinks to herself.
“Hannah, months of endless crushing and it might finally become real.”
“I might shed a tear.”
Squiddo had a handful of noodles in her mouth when they got the text.
“Someone texted me.” Squiddo says muffled due to the food shoved in her mouth.
“Me too,” Hannah says, “It’s the production group chat.”
“Read it out loud.”
“Dear cast and crew,” Hannah began, “About a week from now will be our table read for our show’s…finale?!”
“What?” Squiddo almost drops her Buldak, “We still have like, five episodes left!”
“Due to budget cuts in constant show’s airtime, we’ve been pressured to fit everything into one long episode. Bullcrap.”
“Oh God, this isn’t going to go well.” Squiddo places a hand on her forehead.
“I can hear the hate trains from here.”
“Are they going to play a Stranger Things finale on us?”
“God, I hope not.”
“Does it say anything else?”
“Um,” Hannah shifts her position, “date, time, blah, blah, blah. They said they’d answer questions during the table read. Sorry for the short notice everyone, talk soon.”
Disbelief creeps through the line.
“Can I join Unstable, too?” Hannah pleads.
“Please,” Squiddo begs, “I’ll call my agent tomorrow.”
“Same,” Hannah breathes.
“It’s getting late,” Squiddo finished up her Buldak, “I should go.”
“Okay, night Squiddo.”
“Night Hannah.”
~~~
Here they were, a week later. Squiddo and Ash had been texting, and Squiddo had been texting Hannah these said texts. Squiddo felt like a double agent. She wonders if Ash does the same thing with his best friend. Whoever that is. Maybe Squiddo would be lucky enough to meet them some day.
That is, if she got lucky.
Cast and crew sat comfortably around the room. Squiddo and Hannah sat on the floor against the couch together. During the read, Squiddo and Ash shared constant glances. plots, disapproval, humor, anything you would expect from a rushed script.
It was when they neared the end when everything took a turn.
“So, in this scene, it’ll have a huge romantic plot in the show, something the viewers had been anticipating for a while. The two love interests played by Ash and…”
Squiddo let the director trail on as she remembered, Ash plays the love interest.
She already knew where this was going, hope the only thing by her side.
Ash reads his lines causally before it.
No.
No no no no no no no no, Squiddo thought repeatedly, please don't say—
“There’s our lead in, Ash!” The director points, “After your confession, you two are going to…”
Squiddo hadn’t realized she’d been panting.
“Kiss.”
Squiddo seemed to be the only one who shuddered.
“Alright.” Ash lays back, legs crossed on the couch.
He said it so casually it hurt Squiddo.
Had all these memories they’ve shared been for nothing?
All the hang outs and late night conversations meant absolutely nothing to him? At all?
This can’t be right. This can’t be fine.
Why are they all so…normal?
Squiddo felt on the verge of tears the rest of the read, forcing herself to suck it up and read through the rest of her lines when they came.
The last line belonged to Hannah.
“I guess things did work out after all.”
There was a comfortable silence until everyone began to clap.
“That’s a wrap, everyone!”
Cheers and yells bounced around the room for a while.
Too long for Squiddo’s liking.
“Okay guys,” A backstage member stands up next to the director, waiting for everyone’s attention, “We’ll text you guys the details for blocking and filming scenes tonight. We’re dismissed—for the last time! Questions can be asked with us individually.”
Slowly, cast members began leaving the room, relieved that months of hard work was almost over with. Hannah stood up, but Squiddo stayed behind.
“You coming?” Hannah stretched.
“That’s it?” Squiddo asks. “We’re not going to discuss the information we just received?”
“That the show is ending?” Hannah places a finger on her lip, “I think we discussed that already, no?”
“No, Hannah!” Squiddo whines, “That Ash has to kiss someone else! And everyone was normal about it! Even him!”
“Oh, that.” Hannah reaches a hand out for Squiddo to stand up. “Well, it’s nothing personal. We are just doing our job.” Hannah shrugs, “I’m sure the casual mention of the kiss was just a professional reaction.”
“How can I be sure, Hannah?” Squiddo holds Hannah’s shoulders aggressively in her hands, “How?”
“Well all those signs he’s giving can’t have been for nothing.”
“I…I don’t know.” Squiddo slumps, “I wish love was easier.”
“It wouldn’t be strong if it didn’t have its challenges.” Hannah smiles and wraps her arms around Squiddo’s neck, “Come on, let’s go get coffee, grouchy.”
Squiddo sighs and forces a weak smile.
“Let's go.”
~~~
It was filming day.
Squiddo had managed to skip out on blocking the scenes.
“I’m sick.”
“My car broke down.”
“My grandma died.”
“My grandma died…again?”
She couldn’t excuse herself for filming day because of some pathetic crush she had. She embarrassed herself.
“Scene 22!”
Ash and his interest got into position, and it pained Squiddo deeply. And so, Ash recited his lines. He looked mesmerized by her looks, her posture, her alluring scent.
Squiddo wished it was her.
She wished she had the chemistry, the confidence, the part.
But she got the sideline, and all the sideline could do was watch.
Watch their tongues disgustingly intertwine.
Over and over and over.
And over until they got a good clip, or until they transmitted some sort of disease.
It was awkward to sit there with the cast, watching Ash kiss someone he barely knew multiple times.
Squiddo felt congested. Like the walls were closing in.
Ash could pull her out if he hadn't practically stuck his whole mouth in somebody else’s.
Squiddo stood up with a screech from her chair and excused herself. She had found herself the nearest exit outside.
She pushed on the door and felt the sudden breeze from outside. It was refreshing after what she had just watched.
It was a vast brick wall alleyway, a couple dumpsters leaning onto it. She stared out into the alley. She just needed a walk, Hannah would pick her up later if she needed.
As much as Squiddo wanted to believe that it was all professional, it was hard. It was hard because it's what she had dreaded.
What if somebody got to him first?
To make it worse, what if they got to him while Squiddo was shooting her shot? What if they block it? What if she’ll never be the same with Ash again?
She had hoped to be with him for so long, and now she can’t do anything to stop the possibility of losing him.
Like all they created between them was faulty.
A red herring left by utter pity.
Squiddo felt the cold tear escape due to the rushing breeze.
She heard the same exit door open behind her, but she didn’t dare look back.
“Squiddo?”
Squiddo could recognize the voice anywhere, anytime.
“Hey, Ash,” Squiddo said raw-ly.
“Hey, I saw you left out in a hurry. They called five so I thought I’d come to check on you.”
“I’m fine.” Squiddo dismissed. “Thanks for asking.”
“You’re not fine.” Ash pouts. “What’s wrong?”
“Its nothing, really, just a long day.”
“You can tell me.”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
“Come on, nothing to tell to your good friend?”
Friend.
That’s what Ash thought of them as.
Friends.
Squiddo flinched.
She looked back at him, tears streaking down her face.
“You…” Squiddo locked in his gaze, “You think we’re friends?”
“Of course,” Ash smiles, “I value you as one.”
“Nothing else?”
Ash’s shoulders lower, eyes cautious, “What do you mean?”
Squiddo couldn’t handle it any longer, the burden on her chest was crushing her.
So it’s either be lifted, or it’ll get heavier.
It’s all down to one thing.
Ash’s answer.
“Ash,” Squiddo exhales and looks back at him, “since the beginning of the production, since I saw your face for the first time and many times again, since I first heard your calming voice I could never get tired of.”
“Squiddo,” Ash slows, “What are you getting at here?”
“I love you, Ash!” She yells impulsively. “I love the way your eyes crinkles when you smirk, or your laugh, especially when I’m the reason why. I love when you're lost for a response when you're confused, I love you!” Squiddo yells through the strong breeze. “And it scares me that there’s a possibility that you don’t feel the same.” Squiddo says weakly. Letting herself be vulnerable. She was comfortable around him, even in such a tense situation.
Like the moment in the coffee shop, or the moment at the carnival, or the moment in the car, any moment they shared was easy. Effortless yet worth it. Every. Single. Time.
“Squiddo…” Ash doesn’t break her boring gaze, “do you really feel that way?”
Squiddo nods confidently, through the breeze, through the tears.
“And I won’t change.”
Ash walks up to Squiddo slowly, each step leaving Squiddo more and more eager to know his next move. It was painful. Each step a pang in her heart and shiver down her spine.
Ash walks close to Squiddo, too close for his next choice to be completely platonic.
“Squiddo,” Ash cups her face with his calloused hand, “I didn’t know if the way I felt was valid until I found out you feel the same.”
A relieved exhale escapes Squiddo, along with a warm hearted smile.
Ash wipes away the leftover tears with his thumb and pulls his mouth close to hers.
“This kiss is beyond acting, believe me when I say.”
“What kiss?” Squiddo clutches Ash’s wrist.
“This one.”
Their lips crash into each other too fast for Squiddo’s liking.
So many new tastes introduced at once—that she’d hopefully have to get used to.
They leaned into it, unashamed. Bottom lips were bit and tongues were touched, and yet, they were unashamed.
The kiss had definitely lasted more than whatever break they had given them, but they didn’t care, no one would dare stop their miracle in the making.
Squiddo would kill for kisses like these, but here they were, delivered to her door through the hot delivery guy, Ashswag.
Their lips parted, breathing heavily.
Squiddo rested on Ash’s chest, “You're a good kisser.” She breathes.
“I could say the same.” He pants.
“Hey, lovebirds!” 4C shouts through the door, “Break’s over!”
“We’re coming!” Squiddo and Ash yell back in unison.
“So,” Squiddo looks back at Ash, “Are we…?”
“We are,” His fingers intertwine with Squiddo’s, “we so are.”
It was a dream come true.
And Squiddo was no longer stuck on her lines. What had once clouded her mind became her sun and sky.
Her everything.