Work Text:
"Hey Rocky," Grace asked, his voice slower and calmer than usual. "Do you think coconuts are mammals? Like, they have fur and milk, which is all you need to be a mammal. Shit, wait. Would they be a migratory mammal, since they traveled over the water?"
"The fuck is a coconut?" Rocky asked back, stumbling slightly as they spoke. "The hell is a mammal?"
Watching this play out, Adrian realized the severity of their mistake. They should never have given Grace, much less Rocky, weed.
~~~
The plants that had been on the Hail Mary were the major point of interest for the Eridian scientists, outside of Grace himself of course. Plant life from another planet was bound to be full of questions and curiosities from an ecosystem so different than their own, it made sense that they asked to study them and their properties first.
"We found a very interesting plant," Onyx said, walking with Rocky as they spoke. "You said your human is very anxious, question?"
"Yes yes yes," Rocky chirped in agreement. "Grace is very nervous, leaks constantly and their hormones are all over the place. I'm sure a new place is terrifying, of course. Why do you ask, question?" They asked.
"Well," Onyx began, hesitating slightly. "Our team believes that we may have found a way for your human to relax. One of the plants on their ship has properties that seem to soothe our team and we believe that it should have similar properties on them as well. We actually expect it to work better," they continued, leading Rocky into the lab, "since they're system metabolizes the compounds differently than us and it should enter their system easier as well."
"Interesting," Rocky mused. "What exactly is it, question?"
"Based on human records, they called it cannabis or weed," Onyx explained. "It's a plant that grows naturally with compounds in it that react naturally with the human brain to relax and calm them, creating feelings of euphoria."
"Amazing!" Rocky marveled. "This is exactly what Grace needs to help them relax. Do you have any ready for trial, question?"
"I believe Adrian has some. They'd need to discuss with them, right over there," Onyx stated, pointing with a cobble leg to a section of the lab where a larger, familiar shaped Eridian was.
"Thank you," Rocky concluded, stepping away from Onyx and towards their mate. "Mate Adrian!"
"Oh! Mate Rocky!" They cheered back, stopping their work to great their beloved. "What are you doing here, question?"
"Onyx was telling me about one of the Earthen plants you have been working on," Rocky rambled, chittering with excitement as they spoke. "They said it might be able to help Grace a bit."
"Oh yes," Adrian recalled. "I've been working with it to ensure its safety for them to use and I haven't found anything against it. It looks like it is something that humans use to relax themselves. I've noticed how anxious Grace has been our past few visits, so I think that this might help them."
"Good idea! We should bring some for Grace to try!"
~~~
"Wait wait wait. You want me to get high? Why?" Grace asked, staring down at the small green pile in front of him.
"It should be good for you," Adrian explained, sitting on the beach beside their mate and their human - it wasn't a title to pick on Grace, it was just a fact at this point. "According to your computer, cannabis is supposed to help humans calm down and relax, producing feelings of euphoria."
"That's true," Grace confirmed. "But it can also make some people act really weird. Besides, I don't really need to relax. I'm not anxious or anything."
Looking over at each other, Adrian and Rocky shared a look that said 'are they stupid, question?' in the nicest of ways. Grace was very loved and cherished, but he also had a habit of not being very aware of his own issues, such as anxiety.
"Humor us then," Rocky said. "Adrian wants to see how it effects humans and Eridians."
"So I'm a guinea pig?"
"If that means a test subject, then yes," Adrian clarified. "Rocky will be joining you as well."
"Wait, you're gonna get high too?"
"Yes," Rocky confirmed, pulling out his own small pile of cannabis. "It's for science, might as well."
"Well, I'd be interested in the differences in our highs, so I guess," he relented. "Let me just-"
"No need," Adrian cut him off. "We brought most efficient way to have cannabis enter the body," they explained, pulling out a large xenonite flask with a long neck and a mouth piece on the side - a bong.
"Seriously," Grace sighed out. "I can't believe I'm agreeing to this. I haven't smoked since college."
"Wait, Grace has had cannabis before, question?" Rocky asked, shocked at the revelation. "I thought you were a boring teacher, question?"
"Hey! I was a teacher, but this helped me in college when I needed to de-stress before studying or after a big exam," Grace explained. "It's been years since I smoked, not including the time I was in a coma."
"Good, then you know how to use this," Adrian remarked, handing over the xenonite contraption. "Have fun," they wished before sitting back and waiting for the chaos to begin.
~~~
"I fuckin' love you man," Grace slurred out, tears falling from his eyes. "You're the best thing that every happened to me, Rock."
"No no no, you were the best thing to happen to me," Rocky argued. "Outside of Adrian of course. I love you, my wonderful mate," they called over to Adrian, stumbling slightly as they readjusted.
"I love you too," Adrian called back, jotting down notes as they watched.
It appeared that cannabis effected humans and Eridians in very different ways. It also had to be ingested in very different ways, no surprise there.
While Grace had lit up the xenonite bong, Rocky had been forced to light the weed in their ball and wait for their system to uptake it naturally - a method called 'hotboxing' by humans. It had taken Rocky slightly longer to feel the effects than Grace, but once they did, they quickly joined Grace in the feelings of calmness and elation.
"Come here, buddy," Grace said, pulling Rocky's ball closer to him as he rubbed the top of it frantically. "It called a noogie," he explained as Rocky pressed themselves up to the top of their ball.
"Lean down, Grace," Rocky commanded next, waiting for Grace to press his head against the flexible xenonite wall so they could rub their claw against his head as well. "Cute cute cute!" They cheered, relishing the feeling of Grace's hair in their claw.
It was a welcome feeling for the both of them to enjoy, only separating to sit side by side again after almost half an Earthen hour of giving each other noogies.
"God, I'm so lucky," Grace muttered, curling his knees up to his chest as he overlooked the beach and his friend. "I'm on an alien planet with my best friend in the whole universe! It's so beautiful!" He cheered out, wrapping an arm around Rocky's ball as he spoke.
"Yes yes yes!" Rocky cheered with equal enthusiasm. "I'm so happy you're here too!"
"Get over here," Grace said, pushing himself to rest on top of Rocky's ball, laying over it and pressing his face against the outside of it. "Hug."
"Hug," Rocky repeated, pressing their carapace to the top of the ball, letting Grace just sit there with them for a moment.
Adrian just chirped small giggles watching this play out. It had been a long time since they'd seen Rocky so relaxed, so calm and unburdened. It was a welcome sight to the Eridian that had originally come home to them - carrying the weight of 22 lives on their carapace, never to put them down again.
"Wait, so I got a question," Grace began, still laying over the ball. "How did we put the alphabet in alphabetical order? Like, that's just not possible."
"No, it is possible," Rocky argued, laying down in the bottom of their ball, looking up at Grace as they spoke. "Use the alphabet to oh… Fuck, I don't know."
"That's what I'm saying!" Grace shouted out, standing up and pacing along the beach, leaning on his cane as he ranted, muttering questions one after another. "If the voice in my head is 'me', then who is listening to this? That doesn't make any sense 'cause it's just me. Why are you called a guest in a hotel? You're paying to be there," he ranted as Adrian and Rocky watched. "You're a customer. You're only a guest if you're there for free! Damn capitalism…"
"Hey, do you guys have any food with you?" Grace suddenly asked, completely abandoning his prior train of thought. "I never thought I'd say this but I'm like horny for food."
"You mean hungry, question?" Adrian clarified.
"That's it!" Grace confirmed, shouting with a clap. "All good guys, still ace, just hungry. God, I'd kill for some garlic bread right now," he whined, falling back onto the sand beside Rocky.
No words were spoken for a brief second as Grace picked his bong back up and took another deep breath from it, Rocky continuing to sit in their cannabis rich environment while Adrian supervised.
"I have a question," Rocky began, garnering Grace attention. "If a ship was going the speed of light, would you still be able to see the lights on it, question?"
"Yeah," Grace nodded after a moment. "Physics is weird, but you can. Give me one second," he said, picking his cane up and using it to draw in the sand, writing off complex equations as he went, explaining each step.
He went on and on as both Adrian and Rocky watched, both double checking his work as he went. It all worked out in the end. Apparently, high Grace was just as smart as regular Grace, just slightly more stupid when it came to other things.
"That make sense?" Grace asked, turning to face his Eridian audience as the waves came up to the shore, beginning to erase his work.
"Damn it. Stupid water, eating my hard work," he grumbled, using his cane to hit the water as it came up to greet him before plopping back down near Adrian, leaning onto them.
"You feeling okay, Grace, question?" They asked softly, watching as he sprawled out on them and their form fitting xenonite suit.
"I'm feeling fuckin' fantastic," he mumbled. "You're so warm."
"I want Grace and Adrian snuggles too," Rocky complained, rolling over and propping themselves under Grace's arm, pushing as close to him as they could.
Pulling the two of them into their arms as they curled up on the beach, far out of the water's reach, Adrian watched them settle down as Grace fell asleep and Rocky was content with watching him.
With quiet reverence at the duo, Adrian vowed to make sure that this happened again. They deserved a chance to relax, especially together.