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The autumn came with prosperity in the small hamlet of Pelican Town. All throughout Stardew Valley, the trees were on fire with colours ranging half a rainbow, farmers’ harvests were rich and plentiful, and the huge festivals celebrating the season were already being planned and talked about with excitement by just about everyone. Unfortunately, there were still a few that couldn’t hold the time in such high regards.
For Sebastian, autumn meant death. Everything in the world seemed to shrivel up and die as the nights grew increasingly cold, like all the leaves, the insects, and any unfortunate animal that was too small and too skinny to brace the oncoming cruelty of the changing months. Even as he sat under one of the trees by the mountain lake, his knees to his chest and his arms wrapped around secure as a deadlock, brown and already partially-rotted leaves broke off and breezed gently around him. Sebastian sneered as the fell down, watching them with brooding cynicism.
It didn’t come as a surprise to Sebastian that people thought he was just generally cold and callous, after all, he believed it too. Some people were even vocal about his frigidness as well—namely, his stepfather. Having to live with someone who just happened to say the worst things at the worst time made his blood boil and his skin turn to cold, pallid marble; that was once again the reason Sebastian had abandoned the dinner table in an angered flurry and found himself curled up by the lake. He felt stiff enough that he didn’t even think he had enough strength to move his arms for a smoke. He was so focused both on the ugliness of the half-rotted leaves falling down and on trying to level out his breathing, he didn’t even notice the telltale sounds of crunching leaves and patted dirt by someone coming up behind him. Ultimately, Sebastian was so out of it that he didn’t even flinch when Maru cleared her throat spoke.
“Hey—Sebastian. I’m glad I found you.” Sebastian moved his field of vision towards her slowly.He saw her next to him, standing stiffly and unsurely as she looked down at her stepbrother.
Sebastian took in a deep breath, disappointing Maru when he only offered a shaky exhale in response to her.
“I was worried that you might’ve gone into town, or something. I wouldn’t have known exactly where you would have went, and…” Maru seemed to choke, which surprised her brother. He wasn’t sure if he had ever seen her do something so unsure.
It stirred him from his silence. “I’m surprised you’re not happy that I’m not there to disturb the rest of your evening,” he remarked simply.
Maru frowned, worry settling into creases on her face as she hugged her arms around her chest. “What’s disturbing is that you left at all,” she said. “I mean… of course I’m not happy about it. I got really worried when you and dad started raising your voices.”
“That’s why I abandoned my plate,” Sebastian mumbled into the arms of his hoodie, sliding his vision back to the lake once more. “I just want some fucking quiet.”
It seemed to take Maru a couple of seconds to recuperate, as her reaction lagged. “I… I do too. Honest.” Normally, Sebastian’s sister didn’t say much more than a few phrases to him when he shut himself off. Maybe she never knew how to handle him in that state, but more often than not, she just let him be. However, on that crisp autumn evening, she did something that surprised Sebastian once again.
Maru sat down beside Sebastian, slumping over, putting her face in her hands, and looking out over the water as well. Sebastian could only stare at her for this, in a half-glare that could potentially intimidate her enough to leave, but was mainly for the intent of trying to figure out why. Why did she decide to join him in his spot under the tree—and why she seemed to share his melancholy. Maru almost looked pained, her brows set in a deep furrow and eyes weak in grief.
“Maru,” Sebastian started clearly and intently, “Are you… what’s up?”
Maru grimaced, shaking her head lightly before she muttered, “I’m sorry.”
Sebastian put his head up a little. She hadn’t done anything that day, why should she apologize? “Yeah? For what?”
Maru looked at Sebastian out from the corner of her eye. “Can I just say… everything? I hate, hate how sometimes… none of us get along… and it bothers me,” she admitted, giving a shrug. “I want to correct everyone’s wrongdoings. I know everyone has faults, but this is unimaginable.” She paused for a moment, sighing and changing the position of how she sat. She leaned back on one palm, and grabbed one of the dead leaves from the dying grass with her other hand. She twirled it and focused all her attention on that. “I want all of us to get along. Why aren’t we better friends? Like- like Mrs. Jodi’s family.”
Friendship with his half-sister hadn’t ever really been a thing for Sebastian. It was more often than not a mostly-polite familial relationship, and nothing more. Maru wasn’t exactly vocal with him, and for the most part, Sebastian never really knew what she had thought of their family—especially him. He had always expected to be as disappointed in him as his step-father did, ashamed of the grown man living in his mother’s basement, living off of microwavable noodles bought by the money made by living a life on the computer… Sebastian didn’t live a glamorous life. The realization that she wanted them all to be friends was actually a little disconcerting.
“Sam doesn’t always get along with his mom and dad, it’s not all easy,” he explained, trying to ease into an explanation. “It’s just that sometimes, people don’t get along well with their family at all. It’s not… unnatural, Maru, it’s not like we’re a huge outlier, but... I guess I’m just different. And I’m sorry, but I can’t change, and especially not for your dad.” He swallowed thickly, feeling a chill of guilt that made his extremities feel heavy and cold. “I get where you’re coming at, though,” Sebastian added quickly, in attempt to minimize offence. He didn’t need to go through two arguments that night. “I know Sam is really cool with his folks. They’re happy… and… you want that? I didn’t think you were the type to want the tight-knit familial unit.”
“Wouldn’t you want that? Don’t you?” Maru blinked twice and turned to him, giving Sebastian a look that painted her and all her words dead serious. “Sebastian, what do you think of me? I’m legitimately asking.”
“What? God, Maru,” he huffed, “I don’t know. You’re probably too smart for literally anyone in this town. You’re- you’re just, too good, I guess. If you’re thinking that I- I don’t like you, then no, of course not, I don’t feel… hatred. It’s not that.” A noise whined from the back of his throat, crossed between a pained groan and a frustrated growl. “What kind of question is this? What do you even want me to say?”
“I just know what I don’t want you to say,” Maru countered. She swallowed thickly, shaking her head again. “Don’t say I’m ‘too good’ or anything—I’m not! I’m just trying my best! I’m a kid, still,” she tried to say, averting her gaze back to the leaf in her hand as she crushed it. “A kid! Basically, at least. Sort of! I’m still young, and… you and everyone else in town think—this is ridiculous to say, but—that I’m some sort of mechanical god who shouldn’t be toyed with, but should have nothing but the utmost respect. Even dad. Especially dad… and especially mom,” she lamented. After she wiped off the small bits of dried leaf from her hand onto her overalls, Maru continued. “Can I tell you something, Sebastian? Something… kind of private, I guess. I haven’t spoken about it to anyone yet, not even Penny.”
“You want to talk to me?”
Maru nodded, “Yes. You... I feel like you might understand. Just please don’t really mention it to… mom.”
Sebastian’s eyes widened. “Is this about mom?” He made his voice quieter, as if he were a kid exchanging a secret that would land him in trouble. He had already done his fair share of that when he was younger.
Maru shot him a harsh look before letting it drop. “Uh-huh. It’s not so serious, I think... just… she’s kind of been incredibly overbearing lately! Just very peremptory whenever we try to talk. But always in private. She’s hiding how she acts with me, and I can’t… I don’t know how…”
“Woah, wait,” Sebastian interrupted. He let his hands fall from their iron grip around his knees, and he unfurled himself beside her. “Really? Mom? What… what’s going on?” He hardened his look suspiciously. “Why?”
Maru cringed, grimacing with teeth. “It’s like this every year, she always… has always gotten like this since I graduated, Sebastian.” She took a moment to think of her wording, the thinking process flickering over her face. “Can you imagine? She wants me out. Out, out, out, of the house.”
A silence grew as Maru chewed on her lip and Sebastian processed the sudden information. His shoulders slumped, and he looked at Maru almost dumbfounded. He never heard Robin speak imperiously to Maru ever, but he also figured Maru had zero reasons to lie. Less than zero, probably.
Eventually, it was Maru who found her voice to break the silence. “For school,” she clarified.
“I figured,” Sebastian muttered. For some reason, he acted on the impulse to close the distance between them a little more. He scooted closer, and spoke even softer, “I’ve noticed you haven’t exactly… given into her demands.”
Maru raked her hands through her hair in frustration—she hadn’t bothered to style her hair that day, and it had regained some of its natural texture, making her look as frazzled as she really was—and she shrugged dramatically. “No. I don’t want to! Not yet, at least. I have so many things I want to do!” She explained. That made enough sense, as she was often busy with her own projects, and Sebastian had once heard her say she wanted to help Dr. Harvey further with some medical research. Other than just working, though, Sebastian never really knew what she wanted… did she want to travel before school? Go out and do young person things, ever? Sebastian wondered, but Maru never elaborated. “But the looks mom gives me every year when I decide to stay home. She always looks so disappointed—disappointed in me? My decision specifically? I never know. All I know is, whenever I feel like I’ve somehow hurt her when I stay home? I can’t look her in the eyes, Sebastian,” she stated solemnly. “Even if I apply, but defer for a year, I’ll still feel like I’m doing something bad.”
She clenched her jaw and looked at her brother expectantly, awaiting a response. However, Sebastian wasn’t exactly sure how to comfort his sister. This was more she had revealed to him in… a long time. There was little way to know how he could settle her mind. He wasn’t even good at comforting people. He was absolute shit—he didn’t even know to handle his own problems, let alone the problems of others... in the end, though, Sebastian could understand why she would only go to him. But god, were families difficult. “Fuck. That’s tough,” Sebastian offered. “I get the whole… disappointing look thing, though. But then again? I kind of… I kind of get where mom is coming from.” He paused to scratch the back of his neck, but when he took a glance at Maru, he saw her face twist in a bit of confusion, and mostly mistrust. It unnerved him. “Let me explain,” he pleaded, furrowing his brows and raising a lone, slender hand, making slight gestures as he tried to get his point across as quickly and cleanly as he could. “She doesn’t like talking about stuff like that, schools ‘n whatever. She really doesn’t—shit, I know from experience, I’ve been on the receiving end of her glares too—she hates talking about her own education more than she has to. She wants you to have a better schooling than she ever had—not just a small college, but a big, important university. Something good. I know it’d be her and Demetrius’ fantasy to get you into somewhere like… U of Z in the city, or even… like, could you imagine if you went to the capital?”
Maru groaned. “But that’s so hard! I know I’m smart, I’m good with that, that’s not the problem. But. It’s so much pressure. It feels like there’s already so much on my shoulders… and disappointing them would just be too heavy.” Maru’s voice had gone quiet, unsure.
“I know. I’m not saying you should go. But… I’m just kind of… ah, fuck. I’m failing to get you to understand.” He sighed, wiping at his eyes. They felt tired, and he already felt exhausted from indulging Maru for a conversation ever since she sat down. “Look. Robin wanted to go somewhere good, but she never got the chance to do anything big. Mom wanted to study abroad and go see all this ancient architecture and volunteer and do things first-hand…” he dipped into a frown, trying to think of how to go about admitting the rest. “Don’t tell mom I told you anything, okay? I don’t like… talking about her. But. Instead of getting to do a whole bunch of shit, she met my father.” He paused again, grasping for some way to spit out everything without feeling shame in himself as well. It was impossible, of course, and he felt the guilt he always had when thinking about his own dad. “They met. And had me. Robin was suddenly burdened, and... and she settled for this quiet life.” For a third time, he paused. “Maybe she just doesn’t want you to meet any cute, untrustworthy city boys too.”
The light joke Sebastian presented her with was ultimately lost on Maru. Instead, she put an earnest hand on Sebastian’s arm. “What do you remember about your father?” She asked, completely unexpectedly.
Sebastian pursed his lips for a second. “Uh. Not… much? He wasn’t good. I know that much. But I still inherited his looks, and now that mom is married to Demetrius, I looked more like I was adopted than anything; it sucks sometimes because Sam likes to bullshit around, and—shit, wait. Wait.” Sebastian looked up. |Maru, are you... deflecting?”
Maru suddenly looked sheepish, letting her hand fall. “No- no, I was, mostly just curious. I’m a curious person, but…” she huffed and took off her glasses, opting to take the moment to clean them on a cleaning cloth that was tucked in one of her pockets. “Maybe I was deflecting, a little. Knee-jerk reaction,” she admitted. “I just felt a lot more awkward, all of a sudden. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten you to talk about… all that you did.”
“Nevermind that,” Sebastian said, maybe a little gruffer than he intended. “My only question is this: did you start this whole… topic, about school, because you wanted to show how you and mom mirrored with Demetrius and I? No offence, but... I’m really not going to take your shit if you did just so we can, you know.” Maru still wasn’t really his friend. For all he knew, it could all be a ploy, right?
No, he knew otherwise. The look of disgust Maru gave intimidated Sebastian with the sheer honesty she exuded. “What? Make up? God, no!” Maru spat. “I couldn’t care less about how many parallels you can form between us four right now. I tried to admit my problems to you. I tried to build bridges, Sebastian. This isn’t easy for you, and it’s not easy for me, either,” she said in the sharpest voice she could have mustered during the whole time she had been with him.
Sebastian wouldn’t say he flinched, but he was a little… taken aback. He gave her an apology, albeit small, and tried to figure out what words would soften the glare of death she was giving him. “But you… you really can’t ignore that there are some, um, parallels, as you said,” he tried, stumbling with his words.
“I guess I can’t.” Sebastian hadn’t noticed when she put her glasses back on, but suddenly Maru was looking at him with her big, dark eyes, accentuated by her big, red frames. “God. You know what? I hate the fall. I really, really hate the fall,” she said. “That’s the start of the school talk. And next month, it’ll be the begging to submit applications,” she elaborated, “The fall is basically the harbinger of doom to my mood until spring.” She shifted her vision up, looking at the branches and leaves of the tree they sat under. “Not to mention, there’s so much dull browns, it’s kind of ugly, isn’t it?”
Sebastian wasn’t sure if he was supposed to take that as a joke, but it managed to get the slightest bit of a laugh bubbling from his throat. “Well, I mean, I can’t blame nature for it’s bad aesthetics.”
Maru looked back at Sebastian, and tried giving him a smile. “Guess you’re right.” As quickly as it came, her smile fell, and Maru slipped back into her melancholy.
Sebastian suddenly felt bad, again. He didn’t exactly like how he ended up mistrusting Maru. To the surprise of both of them, he lifted his arm, and laid it gently over Maru’s bunched-up shoulders. She didn’t jump, and she quickly relaxed into the gesture, laden with comforting intentions as it was, but she couldn’t keep from turning her whole head from to look at Sebastian with surprise. He knew how foreign it was, but… he tried putting in some effort. “I can help you talk to mom, if you want. I think I’m good with her. I think I’m a source of guilt for her, she never really gets too mad at me.”
“Oh—Sebastian, don’t say that… you know she’s proud of you! She likes that you have your own business. It’s very good. I think it’s… cool,” she offered. “But yes. Yes, I think I would like to have you present while I discuss my plans with mom this year. I think I’ll take another year off.” Sebastian gave an affirming hum and accompanied that with vocalized support before Maru turned the subject to him. “If you want, I could help you talk to my dad. That would work well too.”
Dryness suddenly afflicted Sebastian’s throat. “Yeah. I don’t know. That doesn’t sound great right now,” he managed to say.
“I swear, he means well. He just doesn’t understand what you do, and all. I know it’s unnerving, but—”
“No. I don’t want to,” Sebastian interrupted. “I… thank, you, but he really doesn’t understand. Maybe I… or we, could try to make it click for him, but not right now. Please.” In reality, he couldn’t imagine how trying to make amends with Demetrius would ever go. The rift between them was at a point where there was no telling whether it could be mended or not, and the anxiety that started to make him feel a little ill again affirmed Sebastian’s decision to not bother.
“Oh,” Maru said in a breathy sigh. “I understand.” She didn’t say more.
The contact between them ended up being mutually beneficial: the comfort and trust that it presented had them both at ease, finally. Most of the flood of panic Sebastian had earlier was gone, and he found it much easier to breathe. Even if he wasn’t planning to be on top of reconciliation between he and Demetrius, he still felt the decent. Being able to help someone for once instead of floundering around in pity and loathing was an interesting feeling. On top of that, it was someone in his family that he helped. It was odd, maybe, but he had a fair level of contentedness and even a bit of pride for it. He was glad. After all, Maru was his little sister first, and Demetrius’ daughter second.
The autumn air of the approaching night was cool and crisp, and every breeze brought more leaves falling from the trees. It was nice, for some, but not all. There was no mistaking that Sebastian knew for a fact he and Maru were two very, very different people: from personality, to outlook on life, to appearance—they both somehow managed to look more like their fathers than their mother, and Sebastian hardly noticed any similarities at all—it was hard to say whether they shared enough likes and dislikes to ever call themselves close, or friends. However, if one of the biggest similarities between them was with how much they both hated the fall… Sebastian would take it. It was likely that they would never end up being a tight-knit family, as idealistic as it seemed, but as for the bare minimum… when Sebastian thought about it, when he and Maru both started discussing their plans for Spirit’s Eve, maybe having the trust of each other wouldn’t be so bad after all.