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It’s a Sunday, which means no training. Most people would use today to sleep in, or recover from any sort of wounds or aches they might’ve gotten from missions, but not Satoru. He feels like today is the first day he can actually enjoy with his friends, as Yaga has been going on missions every weekend before this one.
So Satoru had made sure to inform their teacher that him, Suguru, and Shoko would be gone for the day. He’d forgotten to tell the two in question, though.
No matter! Satoru just shook them awake at seven, and told them to be ready by eight, and with their fair share of complaining (unfair, Satoru was just trying to have a fun day with them), had come down to hang out.
Satoru had yanked them onto a metro to Tokyo (he had a little sympathy for Ijichi, and decided not to wake him up) and then explained why he’d woken them up.
“It’s been forever since we’ve hung out!” Satoru exclaims. “I told Yaga-sensei that we’d be gone for today, and I decided that getting an early start would be best!”
“While that’s all fine and dandy,” Shoko responds, blowing out a bit of smoke from her cigarette that makes a mom turn her child away from the three teenagers, “you couldn’t tell us? You had to just barge in?”
“Well, then it wouldn’t be a surprise, would it?” He turns to Suguru. “Some people, right?”
Suguru looks at him with a raised eyebrow. “Sorry Satoru, but I have to agree with Shoko here. I’d like to not be randomly woken up at 7 on my one free day.”
“Aww, are you saying you wouldn’t want to spend your day off with me?”
“C’mon, Satoru, that’s not what I was saying. Even if we didn’t go out, you’d find some way to rope me into your shenanigans.”
“You know me so well!” Satoru exclaims, practically pouncing on Suguru with a giant hug. Suguru just laughs and half pulls Satoru into his lap, his butt resting in between Suguru’s legs, and Suguru’s arms around his waist.
“Can you two stop acting like a newly-wed couple for three seconds?” Shoko asks, clearly exasperated. “Anywa-”
“Couple?!” Satoru gasps. “Wha- that would make it seem like I’m gay!”
Shoko blinks. “I was under the impression that you and Suguru… were?”
Now, Satoru had no problem with gay people. Love who you love, y’know? But he’d grown up knowing he needs to bear the Gojō Clan an heir, or the clan might seize to exist. He’s only ever thought of himself as being with a girl… but that thought was also never appealing. He just assumed he’d find someone.
But… the only person he can confidently say he wants to stay with for the rest of his life is Suguru. That was just something he knew. After they graduate, they’re gonna exorcise curses and be the strongest and keep the Gojō Clan as the strongest together.
That didn’t make him gay, right? He just wanted to stay with his best friend.
“I’m not gay!” Satoru insists, although he tightens his grip on Suguru a little more, putting his head on his shoulder. “I love Suguru ’cause he’s my best friend.”
“That sounds a little gay.”
“No! I- I have to be straight, so I can continue on the Gojō lineage.” He sticks his nose into the air.
“Alright then, I didn’t mean to make you angry,” Shoko responds. “Anyway, what’re we gonna do in Tokyo?”
Satoru brightens up. “Oh! There’s a neat Spring festival going on, and I thought we should check it out! That’s why I wanted to go early.”
Suguru hums, and Satoru feels it in his head as he starts to speak, reminding Satoru of the position the two of them are in. “I heard of that,” Suguru starts, “but I bet Satoru just wants to go for the food, right?”
Satoru kicks his legs a little, nodding. “Oh yeah, because I bought us the train tickets and had the idea, you both are paying for whatever we do there.”
“What.” Suguru responds. “You’re gonna buy like- 15 million dollars worth of food! Not all of us come from rich clans, y’know.”
“UGH. Fine. Then we all pay for what we get. I’m not paying for both of you again,” Satoru recalls how they always manage to get him to pay. It’s never a problem, but it’s not like the other two are broke.
“But if you’re not paying, then why should we be friends?” Shoko asks, and Satoru’s mouth falls open.
“EXCUSE ME.” He yells, causing a few eyes to wander over, “are you just using me for my Clan money?!”
“Well, of course,” Suguru responds, “why else would we be friends with you?”
Gasping in shock, Satoru scoots off of Suguru’s lap. “WOW. I am NEVER hanging out with you again.”
“Wait- nonono, I’m sorry, Satoru,” Suguru coaxes, extending his arms. “Come back, I’m sorry-”
“Hmph. Fine.” Still holding a pout on his face, he takes Suguru’s hands and scoots back onto his lap, arms wrapped around him. “Only because I love you.”
“Gay.” is all Shoko says.
“I AM NOT GAY.” Satoru exclaims back.
Shoko just blows some smoke in his face.
“Oooh, sesame chicken!” Satoru exclaims. “Let’s get some!”
“How are you still hungry?” Suguru asks. “We just had like- like soo much food! Also, Shoko’s allergic to Sesame.”
“I thought we were best friends!” Satoru exclaims. “You should know I’m always hungry. Also can’t Shoko just use RCT if she gets an allergic reaction?”
“I’d like to avoid getting an allergic reaction in the first place,” Shoko monotones. “Anyway, I have to go to the bathroom. You guys go get the chicken and wait while I find a bathroom.”
“Yay, we got rid of Shoko!” Satoru cheers, grabbing Suguru’s hand as Shoko just rolls her eyes. Suguru just smiles fondly as Satoru drags him into the line.
They fall into meaningless conversation as the line moves forward. Around two minutes later, Suguru’s gaze falls down from Satoru’s face, and Satoru follows his eyes.
Both Suguru and Satoru are more than 185 centimeters, with Satoru being 5 centimeters taller than Suguru, which means they both have to look down to see most people - like Shoko, whose usually in the middle because she’s just that short - and when they look down, they see two giggly girls, who look like they’re in high school, who are even shorter than Shoko.
They’re both staring at Suguru, and the one in the back is edging the one in the front forward. They’re both giggling, and it makes Satoru just want to punch them, although he’s not sure why.
“E-excuse me,” the one in the front starts, face turning red.
Suguru smiles a little. “Yes?”
“Sorry,” she cranes her neck a little to look at him, “it’s just- I saw you from over there,” she gestures some place behind her, “and thought you were kinda cute. Uh- I just wanted to ask- do you have a girlfriend? O-or boyfriend,” she glances quickly at Satoru, then back at Suguru, a shy smile on her face.
Satoru’s not sure why, but he really wants Suguru to say yes, although Satoru knows that’s not true. Just to have them stop. It feels silly, Suguru can date whoever he wants, but Satoru feels a strange sort of possessiveness. He doesn’t want Suguru to date anyone. After all, none of them are good enough for him. No one would be good enough for Suguru but Satoru, but that was just because there was no one better (or stronger) than Satoru. Satoru just chalks it up to them being best friends.
“No, I’m currently single,” Suguru smiles that warm smile at the girls, something Satoru wishes he would only smile at him, and fervently wants to latch onto Suguru forever and turn on his infinity so no one can ever take Suguru away from him. Because they’re best friends.
“Oh- well-” she scrambles for a second, before pulling out a pink, folded, post-it. “Here’s my number. Call me!” Giggling, she turns, tugging her friend along, and Satoru really wants to fucking sic Red onthem.
“Well, that was unexpected,” Suguru says, turning back to Satoru, still holding that goddamn pink post-it.
“Yeah…” Satoru tries to look at Suguru’s face, but all he can look at is that pink post-it.
“Are you okay?” Suguru asks. “You seem distracted.”
Satoru shakes his head, trying to smile a little. “Sorry. I’m fine. Just wondering why they would ask for your number when I’m right here.”
Suguru laughs at that, then they get to the front of the line. Satoru orders them two bowls of sesame chicken, and right as they’re walking out of the line, Shoko catches up to them.
“Hey guys!” She exclaims, then glances down at Suguru’s hand. “Hey, Getō, what’s that?”
Satoru bites his cheek as Suguru holds it up. “Oh. A girl came up to me and gave me her number.” He then crumbles it harshly. “Anyway, Shoko, can you throw this out for me?”
Shoko raises an eyebrow, grabbing it and throwing it into the trashcan next to her. “Why? You’re not gonna call her?”
“Nah. She’s… not my type.” Suguru takes one of the bowls out of a dumbfounded-Satoru’s hands and a fork, taking a bite.
“Is it ’cause she’s a giiirl?” Shoko teases.
“You- shut it. I’m bi, anyway.” Suguru takes another bite of his chicken. “She’s just really not my type.” He glances over at Satoru. “You gonna eat that?”
Satoru blinks, then takes a bite of his chicken. Suguru’s bi? Since when?
“Why’s she ‘not your type’?” Shoko asks. “Hey, wait, what even is your type?”
“Well, for one, she’s really short. Like, shorter than you, and you’re a midget.”
“EXCUSE ME. I’m tall for a girl!”
“Another thing, she was too… giggly. I’d want someone who laughs about things they actually find funny. Who finds humor more important than just…” he trails off, making Satoru raise an eyebrow. What does that mean?
“And anyway, I’m interested in someone else. No reason to start something with someone else.”
And that makes Satoru almost spit out his chicken, then throw up everything he’s ever eaten. He’s interested in someone else? And Satoru didn’t know?
“WHAT?!” Satoru exclaims. “Suguruuuu!! Whoo? Tell me!”
Suguru glances at him with an almost amused expression. “No.”
“Please?! Suguru, I thought I was your best friend!” He leans in, smiling widely at Suguru, trying to hide the way his stomach is twisting itself in knots, and his heart is racing. He hates how scared he is, just to learn who his best friend has a crush on. This is silly, he should be supportive.
“No, Satoru, I would like to keep this a secret. Don’t beat yourself up, I haven’t told anyone.” He tosses his ridiculously beautiful hair to the side. “And, anyway, I didn’t finish telling Shoko about my type.” He turns his gaze down to Shoko, before taking another bite of his chicken, and speaking in that low voice of his.
“I also like people who are smart. Like, being bilingual.”
Satoru’s not sure why, but he ended up in the languages section of the Jujutsu Tech library. Most of it is languages in Jujutsu, or interpreting what curses are saying, but Satoru’s in the part that’s just about other non-shaman languages.
Ever since that day at the festival, Satoru can’t stop thinking about what Suguru said. About being interested in someone else, about how he likes bilingual people. Well, Satoru knows Suguru likes him enough to be his best friend, but he also feels like this would just make Suguru like him more. And, who knows, maybe then he’d be enough for Suguru. He didn’t need a romantic partner when he had Satoru.
He doesn’t know what to choose, though. Satoru already knows Japanese, so the Japanese beginners books didn’t appeal. Other than that, there were three other beginner books - Dutch, Chinese, and German.
After some quick googling, he deduces that Chinese would be too hard to learn (he needs to save some brain power for Infinity), and then, after flipping through the books, realizes that there’s an entire chapter of the Dutch book that’s missing. He then grabs the book on how to speak German, and the second book in the series (Beginners German and How to Have Conversations in German) and then starts to the front of the library to check out the books.
As he’s walking, he passes the Self-Help section, and at the front is one book in bright colors. And Satoru doesn’t mean to, but he stops to read the title.
How to Figure Out if You’re a Homosexual.
He grabs it and checks out all three books.
It’s 9 PM by the time he gets back to his room, and he gets into his bed, grabbing the first German book, and starting to read.
It’s a pretty good book, and after what feels like five minutes, but turns out to be an hour, he hears a knock on his door.
“Satoru?” he hears Suguru’s voice.
“C-come in!” Satoru responds, shoving the books into his night stand. He then grabs his phone to pretend to be scrolling.
“Satoru, where were you? You usually wish me good night and stay with me before we go to bed. I was trying to sleep, but…” he trails off.
“Oh, shit, Suguru, I got distracted. C’mere,” he makes grabby hands at Suguru, and his best friend smiles, shutting the door behind him. Suguru’s hair is out and he’s in his sleep clothes. Satoru always changes into his sleep clothes - a t-shirt and shorts, even in Winter - right after classes, so he’s basically ready to sleep. Well… he didn’t brush his teeth, but oh well.
As soon as Suguru gets close enough, Satoru grabs his best friend's shirt and yanks him onto the bed, rolling them around and around. He then reaches above his bed, turns off the lights, and throws his glasses onto the nightstand.
“Goood niiiiight, Suguru!” he whispers.
“Why’d you turn the light off?” Suguru asks.
“We always sleep in your room. Tonight we’re in my room.” He presses his face into Suguru’s shoulder. This tradition of them ‘sleeping together’ started after Satoru heard Suguru scream in the middle of the night. He’d run in and Suguru had admitted to waking up from a nightmare, and Satoru had stayed with him that night.
He’d started checking in on Suguru and hugging him every night, until some nights, he’d just stay there. Neither of them questioned it.
They were, after all, best friends.
“Have beautiful dreams,” he whispers into Suguru’s ear, “so, basically dreams of me.”
Suguru laughs a little, his breath sending goosebumps (because his breath is warm, no other reason) down Satoru’s neck. “Good night, Satoru.”
“You two are so fucking gay,” Shoko says, and Satoru jumps, before realizing he’s entangled in Satoru’s arms. “Falling asleep in each other’s arms? Cliche. You’re lucky that I came, and not Yaga-sensei.”
“Shoko!!” Satoru exclaims, as Suguru stares at her in horror. “Hii!”
“C’mon. You’re already ten minutes late to class. I’ll give you ten more.”
“Yes, Ma’am!” Satoru jumps out of bed. “C’mon Suguru.”
“O-oh, right. Sorry, Shoko, I forgot my phone, which has my alarm set.” Suguru scrambles out of the bed, hurriedly going over to the next room.
Satoru throws on his uniform, brushing his teeth (for the first time in 24 hours, he realizes with disgust) and washing his face. His hair comes out of bed perfectly, because Satoru is naturally perfect, but he just puts a little water in it before grabbing his glasses from his nightstand and his backpack (which he slips the German book into) and walking out with his usual swagger. “I’m all ready to go.”
Shoko is looking in Suguru’s room, yelling how much longer (3 minutes) he has. “This bastard has to style his hair,” she says to Satoru.
“C’moooon, Suguru, you don’t need your hair up everyday,” he calls into Suguru’s room, and hears a sigh.
“Fine.” Suguru walks out of his bathroom. Everything about him looks normal but- his hair.
His usual bun is out, hair curving around his shoulders, and Satoru holds his breath, as if expecting it to perform some sort of magic. Satoru’s always thought that he was into girls that keep their hair up and in ponytails, but… all of the sudden he sees the appeal in long hair.
Because Suguru’s hair is pretty. Like, in a practical sense. Not like- not like that, okay?
“Let’s go,” Suguru says, starting down the steps, Shoko following. Satoru stays frozen for a second, before scrambling to join them.
Class that day’s boring. Nanami and Haibara join them for training, but more surprisingly, so does Shoko. She apparently needs a bit more combat training.
Satoru decides to sit out, and Nanami and Suguru fight, while Shoko and Haibara spar.
Grabbing his German book, Satoru starts to read, mouthing some pronunciations to himself. Midway through, he glances up, and sees Suguru, who still hasn’t put his hair up.
Being special grades and older, Satoru and Suguru are leagues above Nanami and Haibara, and it shows in Suguru and Nanami’s fight. Even though Suguru’s hair is clearly in his eyes, he’s fending off Nanami perfectly, and giving the younger sorcerer advice.
Every turn, Suguru’s hair catches in the wind, and it looks royal, almost regal. If this fight was a movie, it would be in slo-mo, and the audience would catch their breaths (but Satoru doesn’t want it to be a movie, or at least not a movie that anyone else is privy to) as Suguru jumps and teases Nanami.
Suddenly, he hears a laugh next to him, and jumps, looking up to see Shoko, taking a sip of her water. “Yeah, Suguru looks almost Godly when he fights, wouldn’t you say? Anyone could just… fall in love watching him fight.”
Satoru yelps. “Fall in love? Where did that come from?!”
Shoko laughs even more. “Nowhere. Just saying. Considering your reaction when Suguru said he’s interested in someone, I’d say you don’t want your best friend to be romantically involved with anyone else.”
“He’s my best friend! I’m sorry if I want him to spend his time with me.” He glances to the side, face turning red. “I’m not gay.”
”I never said you were,” Shoko responds. “Anyway, what’re you reading?”
“Oh- uh, just a beginner's German book.”
“Oh? Trying to become bilingual? Really, that would make you perfectly fit Suguru’s type.”
“WHA- Can’t I do something for myself?!” Satoru can feel himself burning.
“Of course, but you think you’re perfect. Why else would you feel the need to do this?”
“Just shut up and go back to fighting.”
“Whatever you say, Gojō.”
Tossing her water bottle back, Shoko runs back to the sand pits to continue to train.
Satoru tries to read the book, but he can’t stop watching Suguru and thinking of Shoko’s words.
There’s something wrong with him, isn’t there?
It’s been two months since Satoru got the German books.
He’s at the end of the second one, moving through them faster than he thought he would. He’s been talking to people online using German, and he’s surprisingly good for someone who started two months ago.
However, he hasn’t picked up the other book he’s got yet. It’s just been sitting in his nightstand, and every time Satoru goes to grab it, he ends up grabbing the German books.
It’s silly, he knows. But Satoru feels… almost nervous?
But he’s just finished the other books. So now…
Satoru reaches over and grabs it, checking the library card. No one’s checked it out before him. Makes sense - no one’s probably been stupid enough to not understand their feelings.
No matter. He opens it, reading the first page.
Chapter 1 - So You Think You’re a Homosexual?
Well, congratulations! Chances are, you are a homosexual. It’s not a bad thing, we’re all very welcoming. But, if you want to check, I can help you figure it out. I won’t be straightforward, I’ll just guide you.
For now, here’s the first thing I want you to do: think of someone who makes your heart race. Gender, race, sexuality, none of that matters.
Well, that’s easy. Satoru tries to think of someone he had a crush on in his childhood.
Maybe with long hair? Long, dark hair, curling down broad shoulders, leading to muscled arms… a warm smile, deep purple eyes-
It’s Suguru. Everytime Satoru tries to think of someone who makes his heart race, it’s Suguru.
He’s not… wrong? Suguru makes his heart race. But that was because they were best friends… right…?
Sighing, he continues through the chapter.
— — —
“It’s a first grade cursed spirit,” Yaga tells them. “Even if you can’t exorcise it, chase it out. It’s really ruining the kids' school life.”
“Well it makes sense a first-grade spawned in a high school,” Satoru jokes, “after all, schools are the saddest place to be.”
“You’re funny,” Yaga monotones. “Satoru, did you understand? Please, escape with your lives.”
“Sure,” he shrugs. “I’m a special-grade, it’s a first-grade. And I have Suguru! Yaga-sensei, did you forget,” Satoru tugs Suguru close to him, “we’re the strongest?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Yaga waves them off. “Go defeat that curse and don’t die.”
“Ay ay!” Satoru cheers as Suguru responds with “of course, Yaga-sensei.”
“Alright, Satoru, listen,” Suguru says, and Satoru turns to him as they get into Ijichi’s car, “I have one first-grade spirit. I don’t want to use it, but I will if the fight gets too hopeless. You’ll have to trust me with that one.”
“But it won’t get hopeless, ’cause-”
“We’re the strongest, I know. But, also, make sure you don’t burn down the school, okay?”
“Alright, I’ll try.” Satoru feels a bit sour, like a puckered up lemon. He just wants to have fun, exorcising a cursed spirit with Suguru.
They fall into silence, but after a minute, Satoru feels a hand on his. He turns, trying to keep his face from overheating and his infinity from subconsciously activating. “Suguru…?” he whispers.
“I don’t mean to be harsh, Satoru. You can just get carried away, at times. I love you for that, y’know, I just want to keep those kids’ school safe.”
“…it’s fine, Suguru. I know you mean well.”
“And I know we’re going to exorcise that spirit quicker than Shoko burns through a pack of cigarettes. We are the strongest, right Satoru?”
“That’s the spirit!” Satoru cheers.
Chapter 2: Special Person
I’m going to bet most of you picked up this book because of one person who made you question your sexuality. I want you to think of that person.
Was it one moment? Multiple? What made you realize you might like that person? If it wasn’t a person, feel free to skip this chapter.
Do you like them because of their gender, or because of who they are?
Don’t move on until you’ve answered that question.
You like them because of who they are, don’t you? And that’s the thing. It’s rare that you fall in love with someone for their gender. People can be a variety, regardless of gender. It’s nothing bad to fall in love with someone of the same gender, because if they were the exact same, just of the opposite gender, you’d probably fall in love with them too.
And, on that note, I want you to do something for them. Show them how much they mean to you.
Who knows? That might show you how much they mean to you.
— — —
They’re going on another mission in five minutes. It’s easy, which means Suguru will probably get another curse to eat from it.
Before they go, Satoru grabs a box of his expensive chocolates, some apple juice, and shoves them into his deep pockets. Then, he goes to join Suguru as they get into Ijichi’s car, and Suguru starts planning out their mission.
“Does that sound good?” Suguru asks after he’s done.
“Huh? Oh, yeah.” Satoru responds, a bit distracted.
“Were you even listening?” Suguru asks.
“Of course.”
“Then tell me what I said.”
“Uhh, basically you barrel it with curses, then I give it the killing strike. Nothing big.” Satoru shrugs, hoping he’s right.
“You’re literally completely wrong.” Suguru responds. “We barrel it with some fighting, then I unleash some curses to finish it off. It’s only grade two. We’ll be fine.”
And they are fine. The mission goes by seamlessly (aka i dont wanna write them brutally killing a curse) and Suguru is left with another cursed spirit to swallow.
Satoru doesn’t miss the ugly expression that washes through his best friend's face as he presses the vulgar, swirling spirit to his lips and shoves it down his throat.
Immediately, Satoru pulls out the chocolate and apple juice, handing it over to Suguru, whose face goes through like fifteen stages before settling on surprise. “Is this… for me?” he whispers, and Satoru’s heart swells a bit at his shock.
“Yeah. You don’t seem to enjoy the taste of the cursed spirits. So here. To… get the taste out.”
Suguru glances away, muttering, “I thought I hid that well.”
Satoru immediately reaches out, turning off his infinity and resting a hand on Suguru’s shoulder. “You shouldn’t have to hide anything from me, Suguru. I wanna help with your pain.”
Smiling, Suguru pushes the straw into the juice box, started to thoughtfully suck at the juice. Satoru hates the way his eyes naturally gravitate to his lips around the straw, and the way his brain naturally gravitates to how they would feel around h-
Holy shit, was he gay?
Chapter 3: To Love
Love is a complicated, fickle thing.
Love can come in many forms, romantic, platonic, familial. Right now, you’re probably battling between platonic and romantic love. And that’s fine.
Love is an immense care. Don’t forget that. Make sure to remind those you love that you love them. And if you find that you love someone of the same gender in ways that feel more than platonic, so what?
To love is to love.
— — —
“Yo- SATORU GET BACK HERE.” Suguru demands, but Satoru just sticks out his tongue, hand still wrapped around Suguru’s hair tie.
Satoru hates to admit it, but after that day at practice there’s a part of him that yearns to see Suguru with his hair down. So, yes, when the opportunity presented itself, Satoru tugged the hair tie out of Suguru’s hair, watching the cascades of hair fall. Now, he was watching in fascination as Suguru’s shoulder-length hair sways to his every movement.
“Make me!” He exclaims back, turning off his infinity. As much as he’s enjoying this, he’d rather wrestle on the ground with Suguru for a little while.
Suguru seems to notice that his infinity is off, because he licks his lips - no, Satoru, you can’t think like that - and runs into Satoru, knocking him over.
They end up wrestling on the ground of the hallway, Satoru’s glasses getting knocked off his face. Eventually, Suguru’s hands get grips on Satoru’s wrists, and Satoru laughs while conceding, and laying on the ground, although his wrist is still tight around the hair tie.
Suguru seems to be moving to open Satoru’s wrist, but first he looks up, and him and Satoru make eye contact. Satoru catches his breath, staring up at Suguru with wide eyes. Suguru’s merely inches above him, with Satoru’s wrists pinned to the ground, and Suguru’s hair falling everywhere, Satoru can feel it tickling the edges of his face.
Satoru’s mouth opens, and as air funnels into his lungs, he finds himself wanting to tell Suguru to kiss him. He’s right there. There’s no one else in the hallway.
But right before Satoru can say anything, Suguru’s fists slacken, and he sits up. “I won, Satoru,” Suguru says, voice shattering the romantic tension, and making it awkward. “Can I have my hair tie?”
Satoru blinks. “Oh- yeah.” He hands it back to Suguru, before getting up and brushing off his pants a little, even though they’re not dirty. “I think Shoko’s waiting for us. Let’s go back to class.”
Suguru coughs a little, then Satoru smiles, trying to break the tension. “Oooor, we could like bunk class. Y’know, go to Tokyo again? And this time I get hit on by random girls?”
“Yeah, like they’d hit on you with me there.”
“Yo- SHUT UP SUGURU. I’m literally, like, the chick magnet here.”
“The Spring festival proved you wrong.”
“THAT WAS A FLUKE. My infinity was repelling them!”
“That’s not how it works and you know it.”
Satoru shoves Suguru slightly before opening the door and striding into the classroom. Yaga isn’t there, so he takes his usual seat on the left of Shoko, and Suguru goes on his other side as Satoru throws his legs on his desk. Nanami and Haibara aren’t here yet, which is weird, as Nanami’s always on time - they’re probably on a mission.
“Hey, Getō,” Shoko starts, “are you free Saturday?”
“Wow, asking Suguru and not me?” Satoru asks, rolling his eyes.
“Because this doesn’t concern you,” Shoko mutters, barely sparing him a glance. “Anyway, Getō?”
“I think so, unless Satoru has any more mystery plans,” Suguru responds. “Why?”
Shoko gives him (and oddly, it seems a bit directed at Satoru too) a devious smile. “I was meeting up with some of my friends from middle school, and I told them about you two. One of them was very interested in you, and I think you’d like her too. She’s practical, bilingual, and smart. You’d like her.”
“What, like a date?” Satoru spits, before he can help himself.
“Yes, Satoru, that seems like a date,” Suguru responds dryly. “Why do you care? Anyway, Shoko,” he turns back to her, “she seems like a delight. It’d be my pleasure to take her on a date.”
Shoko takes a long puff of her cigarette, before blowing out a shit ton of smoke. “Perfect.”
Satoru can feel himself tensing up. Yeah, why did he care? But he felt a strange sense of possessiveness, like he did at the Spring festival. He still wanted Suguru all to himself, but now it felt like…
The love, the way he and Suguru were attached at the hip, it was starting to feel like more.
But what kind of more?
These thoughts plague him through class, through training where he takes Suguru’s elbow to his neck and stumbles back.
“Shit, Satoru, sorry,” Suguru exclaims, catching Satoru before he can fall. “You usually block my hits, I jus-” he’s stopped by Satoru pressing a finger to his lips.
Satoru needs to say something, something or he’s probably going to explode. “Suguru,” he mutters, “Ich liebe dich.”
“Uh… Satoru…?” Suguru questions. “I didn’t understand that.”
Smiling a little, Satoru gets to his feet, feeling a little better now that he’s said something, even if not in the right language. “Good.”
Saturday rolls around quicker than Satoru wants it to.
Suguru knocks on his door, and after Satoru calls out for him to come in, Suguru walks in wearing a black button up and jeans that- God, that girl must’ve been a fucking priest in her last life to deserve to go on a date with this.
“How do I look?” Suguru asks, and it’s all Satoru can do from yelling, “YOU LOOK SO FUCKING HOT GO ON A DATE WITH ME NOT THIS RANDOM GIRL!”
Instead, Satoru blinks, before letting a smirk settle on his face. “Better than usual, I’ll give you that. Nowhere near me on a regular day though.”
“Yeah, hush with your ego-stroking. We’re going to Tokyo. To the Summer festival.” Suguru smiles, and Satoru wants to punch someone because who let his Suguru go to this shitty festival with someone who isn’t him?
But Satoru just keeps the cheeky grin on his face. “Alright, alright. Tell me how it goes, alright?”
“Of course,” Suguru smiles at him, before reaching forward and hugging him. It’s definitely not the first time they’ve hugged, but it’s the first time something that simple made Satoru’s heart wanna jump out of his body and cuddle up to Suguru. “Alright, bye.”
“Bye, Suguru,” Satoru mutters, watching Suguru exit his room. To go on a date.
The second the door shuts, Satoru grabs his pillow and yells into it. This was not how it was supposed to go! Suguru wasn’t supposed to find some other girl, and go on a date with her. They were supposed to spend their entire lives together, even if just as best friends.
With sharp tears pricking at his eyes, Satoru chucks the pillow at the wall in front of him with a scream. Rushedly, Satoru grabs his books and flips to the last chapter of How to Know if You’re a Homosexual, reading through tear-filled eyes.
— — —
Chapter 10: Why are you here?
If you’re here, you’re one of three cases:
- You just read through this whole book for fun and didn’t adhere to the tests and questions I asked. If so, there’s nothing more I can do for you except hope you had a good read.
- You made it through every test. In that case, I want you to ask yourself the following: do you think you could feel any sort of love for someone of the same gender that surpasses that of platonic love? We will come back to you later, but I have one more case.
- You skipped to the end after you had an awakening. And if so… I think you already know the answer.
I cannot tell you what to do now. All I can say is, go for it. What is it?
I think you already know.
— — —
Go for it. Satoru had to go for it?
But… Suguru was going all the way to Tokyo, for a date. With another girl.
Satoru was pissed. Not at Suguru. Not at this fucking book. At himself.
He’d been so pent up on the fact that he needed to date a girl that he didn’t see Suguru. Suguru, his best friend who anyone would be lucky to have. Who he could’ve made a move on, but he didn’t because Satoru was a fucking idiot.
Shoving his face in his hands, Satoru yelled again. At his idiocy. At everything he fucked up on recently.
Satoru’s not sure how, but the salty tears that had been at the edge of his eyes start streaming out. It’s weird. Satoru doesn’t cry. He smiles, he laughs. He hides his feelings behind those smiles and laughs.
So why did that just change now? He felt like he couldn’t control the tears, they were just- they wouldn’t stop.
He misses Suguru. He wants Suguru. He loves Suguru.
In more ways than he could describe.
“Satoru…?” Blinking open his eyes, Satoru sees Suguru and feels his heart jump, then immediately feel like someone sent an airplane crashing down on said heart.
“Su- Suguru!” Satoru sits up, trying to shove the book beneath his covers, but Suguru’s hand catches Satoru’s wrist.
“What’s this?” Suguru’s words aren’t harsh, but they make Satoru want to cry.
“I- it’s nothing, Suguru. Uh. You’re still in your date outfit. You should change- and then you can tell me everything.”
“Satoru.” Suguru reprimands, “What happened? You look- why were you crying…?”
“I wasn’t-!”
“Nanami and Haibara said they heard screams and you crying. When they checked in, you were asleep. Don’t deny it.” Suguru comes closer, sitting next to Satoru, and Satoru hates how his heart reacts.
“I swear, Suguru, it’s nothing. Y-”
“And what’s this?” Suguru asks, grabbing the book. Satoru cries out as Suguru grabs it.
“Suguru, it’s nothi-”
“Stop saying it’s nothing, Satoru. It’s never nothing. Stop putting on a smile and let me help you. Were you,” Suguru glances down at the book, “questioning your sexuality?”
Satoru glances to the side. “It’s none of your beeswax.”
“Satoru…” Suguru trails off. It hurts, the gentleness with which Suguru utters Satoru’s name. It makes Satoru’s heart ache.
Without thinking, he grabs Suguru’s collar and tugs him closer. Suguru’s eyes widen, and now they’re inches apart, Suguru’s hot breath on Satoru’s face.
“Please… Suguru… can I…?”
“Satoru…” Suguru looks at him with lidded eyes.
That wasn’t a yes, though. And… Satoru could think. Suguru would probably never say yes.
With a small whimper, Satoru starts to lean back, but before he can fully sit back on his butt, Suguru leans forward, pressing his lips onto Satoru’s.
Satoru gasps, feeling everything he’s wanted being given to him. Faintly, Satoru can smell a sweet perfume on Suguru, and he presses harder, trying to remove that smell. He doesn’t want another girl’s perfume on Suguru.
After a little while, they both pull back for air, gasping. “Shit- I’m sorry,” Satoru gasps. “You’ve just- you’ve just been on a date. You probably ha-”
Satoru finds himself being cut off by Suguru pressing his lips against his once more. This one is more direct, less heated, but it’s still Suguru kissing him.
“So, what,” Suguru whispers after they pull away, “finally figured it out?”
“Figured out- what?” Satoru mutters back.
“That I love you,” Suguru smiles. “It was great, Satoru. I had fun. But not- not like what we have. And at the top of this ferris wheel- I didn’t say her name, Satoru. I said yours.”
“You- what?”
“She kissed me, Satoru, and I whispered your name. It ended quickly after that. I- you know I love you, Satoru. This was a mistake. A way for me to get back at you, at least in my head, for not liking me back- I’m an idiot.”
Satoru looks down a little at Suguru, and blinks, dumbfounded. “It’s not your fault,” he whispers. “I- I’m the idiot, for not realizing I loved you too until you went on a date with another girl. For being so focused on my stupid clan that I oversaw you.”
“You… love me too…?” Suguru whispers, eyes wide, and Satoru raises a hand to flick Suguru’s nose.
“Yes, stupid. I always have. Just… now I realize, I was denying it. Telling myself it was all platonic. This fuckass book really helped,” Satoru gestures to the book lying next to him.
“How to Figure Out if You’re a Homosexual. What a charming title.”
”…I also learned German for you…” Satoru whispers under his breath.
“Hmm…?” Suguru asks, mouth in a dangerous smirk. “What’d you do?”
“You said you liked people who were bilingual- and I told myself it was just because we were best friends, but I really learned it. That’s also how I stumbled upon this book. I’m hopelessly devoted to you, Suguru.”
Fondly, Suguru strokes a thumb down Satoru’s jawline. “I got you to learn an entire language? Say something, Satoru.”
Satoru smiles softly. “Ich liebe dich, Suguru,” he whispers. “Du und sonst niemsand.”
“That’s what you said during that training session…” Suguru remembers. “What’s that mean?” Suguru wraps his arms around Satoru’s waist, and Satoru rests his head on Suguru’s shoulder, wrapping his own arms around Suguru’s neck.
“I love you,” he tells Suguru, and Suguru presses his chin to Satoru’s head.
Satoru could stay here, with Suguru, forever.