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Toya drums out a jittery melody against the box of cheesecake he bought.
In recent times, he's been acting especially selfishly around Akito. Akito's always so kind, so accepting, and he's been abusing that kindness. Telling Akito what to do, asking him to follow commands without an explanation just to prove his own thoughts… it sends a shudder through him. To treat his own partner, his boyfriend with such horrid selfishness is an offense he can't forgive himself for. Selfishly, he's leaving that to Akito; the judgement is in his hands. The cheesecake he holds is a selfish peace offering; one he'd like to selfishly feed to Akito himself.
The train comes to a halt at his station, so he gets out and hurries towards Akito's. They have the house to themselves, as his parents are out and Ena-san has art classes. He wants to spend as much time with Akito, though isn't that desire selfish, too?
He shakes his head as he takes a left. He's supposed to apologize to Akito, this is meant to be for Akito and about Akito. He can’t let his own selfish thoughts derail the moment.
A few minutes later, he's letting himself into Akito's house. He locks the door, left open for him as Akito told him he needs to clean up a bit and probably can't greet him. Maybe if he didn't insist on coming so selfishly early, Akito wouldn't have to rush to clean up. He takes off his shoes then heads to Akito's room. His room looks fine, really; it's usually pretty chaotic inside, so Akito didn't have to go out of his way for him.
Right now, Akito's finishing up fixing his bed. Toya waits until he's done, then sits down opposite to him.
“Akito,” he starts, bowing down with the box outstretched in his hands. “I want to apologize. I've come to realize that I've been acting terribly selfishly when spending time with you. You shouldn't have to entertain my selfishness, and I promise to improve my behaviour and the way I treat you.” For a few terrifying moments, the only sounds he can hear are their breaths and his own rushing heartbeat.
Akito breaks the silence with a soft, amused exhale.
“Dude, the hell're you talkin’ ‘bout?” The cheesecake is taken from his hands, and familiar fingers start messing up his hair instead. He looks up to see mild confusion in Akito's eyes, interspersed with comforting warmth.
“Have I not been indulging too much?” He looks away, shame stinging in his insides, not unlike the biting winter cold. “I've been ordering you around for my own amusement, comparing you to a dog even though I know you fear them. Isn't that all so terribly selfish?” He takes one of Akito's hands into two of his, hoping to convey just how sorry he feels. Ah, but isn't he indulging himself by taking Akito's hand like this?
“Toya.” Akito huffs out, laughter coloring his tone. “What gave ya the impression I wasn't enjoying it?” Akito's other hand joins in to comfortingly squeeze his own.
“I—” he starts, but he's quickly cut off by Akito's voice.
“I'm selfish too, ya know.” Akito's hands switch their hold, then Akito brings his hands up to kiss his knuckles. “If I can keep takin’ whatever I want from you, why can't ya do the same? I'd tell ya if I didn't like somethin’, promise.”
He frowns, looking back at Akito's face. Akito isn't selfish, not with how big his heart is; it may not look like it at first glance, but Toya knows the kindness hidden beneath his ribs well.
“C'mon,” Akito encourages, pulling him closer. “I'm tellin’ ya, be selfish.” Akito's face suddenly goes red. “And, uh, I like it when ya take charge, too. I don't wanna be the only one to always do it.”
He carefully studies Akito's face. Flushed cheeks, embarrassed smile and an earnest, honest look in his eyes. He's telling the truth, even if his own doubtful heart refuses to accept it. Oftentimes, Akito hides his furiously blushing face when Toya tries something — has it always been those ‘tsundere’ elements Shiraishi loves to call Akito out on? Shying away from something, even though deep down, he’s enjoying it?
“Are you certain?” He needs to double, triple check. Akito's offer is too kind for his selfish heart, for all the things he wants.
“Yes, ‘m certain.” Akito lets go of his hands to nudge his legs open, which he, of course, allows. Akito settles between them, his legs lazily thrown around his waist. “Ain't this selfish, too?” Akito's face wears a familiar, lopsided grin while his hands pull him into a kiss.
Akito kisses eagerly, as usual. His lips feel more insistent, more desperate, though; as if he’s doing his best to convince Toya of his words. He has to admit that it's working; he shouldn't doubt Akito. Akito's brilliant when it comes to feelings and emotions; he can read people quite easily, effectively getting to the core of their issue. Surely, with Akito's permission, he can allow himself his selfishness. If Akito asks him to take, then take he will. He trusts his partner.
“May I feed you the cheesecake?” he pants out, eyes sweeping over Akito's face. He looks quite handsome like this, lips and cheeks turning red, eyes shining with pupils blown wide. Eagerness sparks inside them at his question.
“Please.” Akito leans away to take the box, handing it to Toya with a smile. Toya takes it, then watches Akito’s hands as they drop down to the bed, placed in the space between their hips. He’s even waiting patiently like a dog that wants a treat…
He opens the box with a fond chuckle. Akito hums in question, and he shakes his head in response.
“Don’t worry about it,” he assures, picking up the fork. Even if Akito wants him to be selfish, he should still be considerate.
One of Akito’s hands flies up to flick his forehead. “C’mon, ‘m not gonna be mad or anythin’.”
He looks away, not meeting Akito’s eyes. “I just thought that you look like a dog asking for treats.”
Akito huffs out a small laugh, his hand reaching out to briefly ruffle his hair before dropping back down. “‘S nothin’ to be mad about. We picked the name BAD DOGS, after all.”
When he looks back, Akito’s cheeks are a deep red, and he refuses to meet his eyes. This must be a ‘tsundere’ moment. With a small smile, he portions off a bit of the cheesecake and raises it to Akito’s lips. Akito happily accepts it, his eyes rolling back a little moments later.
“Holy shit,” Akito mumbles out dreamily. “‘S fuckin amazin’.”
Akito’s expression is pure bliss, eyelids fluttering and body relaxed. It seems like citrus cheesecake was the right choice, because Akito looks like he’s on another plane of reality.
Akito comes down from his high moments later, eagerly looking between the cheesecake and Toya’s hand around the fork. Does he not realize just how much he embodies their team’s namesake? Though, he really doesn’t act all that bad, so the label of a ‘good boy’ would be more suitable. Last time he used it, Akito’s reaction to it was quite strong. Would it be the same this time?
Toya feeds him another bite, still watching Akito’s face. Back then, was his reaction dislike, or should he file that moment away as a ‘tsundere’ one?
Should he test it?
Akito blushes so beautifully, his face turning such a vibrant scarlet. His reactions are always strong, and he wears his heart on his sleeve, so they're quite easy to observe, too. He knows his own reactions are often more subdued, so he takes pleasure in seeing Akito's face flicker between emotions with ease.
“Akito,” he starts, fork stabbed into the cake. Akito's face falls ever so slighly into a pout, which looks quite cute on him. “Last time, when I called you a ‘good boy’, what did you think of it?”
Akito's reaction is instant, with a deep blush covering his face and spilling down his neck. He looks to the side, then looks back at him, clearly embarrassed.
“Don't hate it. Jus’ never say that in public.” Akito's voice is a low mumble as he looks down.
“Thank you for telling me, Akito. I was worried that I'd upset you back then.” He covers Akito's hands with one of his own. Given how Akito reacts to the words, he should patiently wait for the best moment to use them again.
“‘S no problem.” Akito shakes his head, then looks at him expectantly. Right, the cheesecake he bought specifically so he can feed it to Akito. He takes the fork and raises the bite to Akito's lips.
They spend the next while like this; him feeding Akito and watching his blissful expressions, until they're out of cheesecake.
“Now that that's outta the way—” Akito carelessly throws the box and fork onto his recently cleaned table “— I can finally kiss ya.”
Akito eagerly connects their lips, his hands coming up to bring him closer. He's more than happy to reciprocate, even if Akito tastes very sweet. He places his hands on Akito's hips, letting his fingers sneak in under the hem of his T-shirt and onto the soft skin beneath it. It's selfish, especially as his hands travel higher, hiking Akito's T-shirt up, but if Akito says it's okay, then he'll allow himself the indulgence.
“Ya can take it off,” Akito offers once they break away.
He hesitates, hands halfway up Akito's chest. “It's alright. I want to feel you.” To emphasize his words, he moves his fingers to trace the contour of Akito's pecs.
“Mm, if ya say so.” Akito's hands eagerly guide him into another kiss.
Eventually, the T-shirt does come off, and he gets to guide Akito to lay down, too. Whatever he asks for, Akito gladly indulges him in, making his own demands in return.
If they're both selfish, then everything is fine.