Work Text:
Goro crouched in the shadows, careful to keep his cape out of sight. A Shadow was in front of them, unaware and looking around for intruders. He kept a hand on his saber, glancing at his 'teammates'. He could barely make out their frames in the darkness. He despised the House of Darkness, and they weren't even five rooms in.
Takamaki, Sakamoto, and Ren were hiding as well, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce. Ren, who was behind the wall in front of Goro, turned back to flash him a smirk. Then he leapt up and sprinted as fast as he could, cutting through the pitch-black area and heading straight towards the Shadow.
"Joker, what the in—" Takamaki sprung up from behind a crate, a blurry shape.
Ren effortlessly scaled the Shadow's back, reaching over to rip off its mask in one agile move. He backflipped off, unsheathing his dagger as the others ran towards the fight.
Goro whipped out his saber, taking his place next to Ren. There were two Unicorns and a Valkyrie, the Palace suspicion at 60%. He shot the thief a glance, despite knowing he had to keep both eyes on the monsters.
Ren was simply too tempting. His fluffy hair, wild grin, bright silver irises, excited stance—all of that and more pulled Goro deeper in the rabbit hole he'd already fallen into.
"What were you thinking, running in like that?" Sakura's voice echoed in the area while staying inside her fiery ball of Prometheus. She gave everyone a boost, helping them focus and upgrading their magic attacks.
Ren laughed wildly as he called on Raoul for an Eigaon, downing a Unicorn quickly. "Don't worry! And thanks for the Concentrate!" He achieved a Once More, and called out for Takamaki.
Goro dodged a Bless attack, surrounding the perimeter. Something strangely uncomfortable shot down his back when Ren passed the Baton to Takamaki.
Shouldn't he give it to me? After all, Robin Hood also has Eigaon to down the other Unicorn.
The prick of irritation grew hotter and larger when Takamaki winked at Ren, spinning around in place. She was rather graceful summoning Hecate, as much as Goro hated to admit. She had more elegance than the blundering Sakamoto, at least.
Takamaki wiped out the Valkyrie with a single Agidyne. "Crow!" She shouted, raising her hand for a Baton Pass.
Goro reluctantly ran over, shaking his head at himself mentally. He needed to focus. This mission was not about fighting for Ren's attention. It was to finally achieve what he'd been working towards ever since he was eight.
"Nice timing," he nodded at Takamaki, who beamed back encouragingly. As if he needed it. Goro ripped off his mask, aiming a Curse spell at the Unicorn with a bit more power than he really had to. With the support from the Baton Pass, he obliterated the poor Shadow.
The group closed in on the lone Unicorn, guns out and ready to fire. Sakamoto and Takamaki turned to Ren, waiting for his command. Goro kept his gaze on the Shadow, firearm unwavering.
"Give me the goods," Ren ordered, most likely realizing that the Shadow had a valuable item.
The Unicorn snorted, raising its head. "Why don't we talk first?"
"All right, then," Ren allowed swiftly, shifting his weight. He raised an eyebrow, radiating calm confidence and coolness.
"You're really cruel, you know? Picking on a weakling like me," the gloomy shadow whined.
Ren smirked slightly, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I don't think I can pick you up."
The Shadow roared in anger, about to stand on its hind legs and—
"Let's rethink things," Goro interrupted sharply, raising his gun and aiming it straight at the Shadow's head.
The Unicorn dropped right down, cowering underneath the threat.
Ren shot him a grateful look, smiling sheepishly.
Goro nodded back. Internally he rolled his eyes at the childish answer, but a small blossom of pride billowed in his heart like a flower. He'd managed to elicit a grin from Ren, directed at him. And him only.
Throughout the negotiation and deeper into the House, Goro found himself observing Ren far more often than he really should have. He wasn't looking for or at anything in particular. Just the clear authority in his voice, the way he summoned Arsène so powerfully, the graceful flourish of his hands after a victory... it all forged a twisted, ugly feeling in Goro's chest. One that made him want to keep Ren all to himself, one that demanded Ren's undivided attention, one that burned its way past his ribs and into his heart, where it nestled there, a promise of eternal yearning.
Ren is my rival. Mine, and mine only. He can only compete with me, only I can challenge him to his limits, only he is allowed to stand his ground against me.
Goro flinched out of his thoughts when he heard Sakura's high-pitched squealing about a treasure chest. He forced himself to prioritize what was in front of him—acting the "Detective Prince" role in front of the idiot Phantom Thieves.
"Yo, that's totally sick!" Sakamoto charged forward and threw his arm around Ren while he was lockpicking. His hand was right next to Ren's neck, loosely on his shoulder.
Something primal, from the very depth of Goro's soul, ripped out and began tearing at his insides. He wanted nothing more but to yank Ren away from the bastard and keep him all to himself. Goro wanted—needed to be as physically and emotionally close to Ren as possible. He needed to hold him, breathe in the faint comforting scent of coffee and curry, run his fingers through the soft black hair.
Because Ren was his. Not fucking Sakamoto's, or Takamaki's, or Niijima's, or Okumura's, or Kitagawa's. No one but him was allowed to touch Ren.
Goro sank his teeth into his lower lip, using the pain to suppress the urges. No. This is...this is absurd.None of this is any of my damn business. I will kill Ren and the rest of the Thieves later—I should not feel anything for anyone. Ren...should not matter.
"Hey, Crow?"
Panic flashed through Goro's mind, and he gave himself half a second to reshape his face and mold himself into something presentable. "Yes, Oracle?" He turned with a polite front as he faced Sakura.
The shorter girl cocked her head at him, adjusting her goggles. "What's up? You've stopped in the middle of the road."
Goro chuckled apologetically, tucking his hair behind an ear. "Ah, my apologies. I was simply admiring the interior of this Palace—after all, I'm still amazed at how they're able to operate."
The next time they found a chest, Goro was ready. He saw Takamaki heading over to Ren, eager to do whatever it is she wanted. Over Goro's dead body.
In a flash, he smoothly cut in front of her to place his hand on Ren's shoulder. He pretended to peer down at the lockpick, analyzing the structure of the lock and chest.
Ren glanced up in slight surprise, as if he'd been expecting Takamaki instead. Either way, he beamed brightly at him and continued to unlock the chest.
After he retrieved the Soma, he beckoned the team to continue on the Palace.
Goro's hand remained warm after the interaction, a sickening giddiness spreading through his body. He'd just touched Ren's shoulder, and the younger boy wasn't repulsed at all. He'd even smiled at him!
Wait—Goro should not be happy over this! He didn't care at all, remember??!
"Soo...how's life?" Ren asked with a small grin.
Goro glanced up from his seat on the couch, uncrossing his legs. He made room for Ren, his heart pounding loudly in his ears even though the noise in the Safe Room reached volumes.
Why did Ren choose me, out of everyone in this room, to talk to?
"Pretty calm, all things considered. What would you think my fans would react if they discovered I was working with the Phantom Thieves?" He cocked his head in false consideration.
Ren took a seat next to him, grinning widely. "They'd probably cry."
Goro chuckled, fake and high-pitched. It was a perfect copy of the laugh he'd practiced for hours in front of the mirror. "Oh, I don't doubt it. Some of my fans are very extreme. You should read some of the confession letters they've sent me—I felt horrible rejecting so many people."
Ren hesitated for a moment, his face flickering with just the slightest hint of unreadable emotion. But he smirked again after that split second, the perfect example of nonchalance.
Interesting. Goro internally made a note in the back of his head as he nodded along to Ren's subsequent words.
"Wish me luck, guys," Ren grinned at everyone as he turned towards the gates.
The Thieves nodded back, some faces showing fear while others, a hardened determination.
Goro knew Ren could win, but he was still slightly worried about the repercussions. If Ren made even the tiniest mistake...
Calm yourself. Trust in the plan.
It was rather difficult to maintain his façade when the doors slammed behind Ren. He wanted to wrench the bars open and stay by Ren's side where he belonged.
He opted to file into the balcony seats above, sitting farther away from the rest of the Thieves. He glowered at the unjust battles that took place below, despite already having a suspicion that Sae-san would cheat. He kept his hand at ready on his saber in case he had to leap down and kill any stupid Shadows.
There was no need. Ren breezed through each battle effortlessly, summoning a plethora of Personas and deftly cutting through enemies. Goro let out a microscopic sigh of relief when he approached Ren. The other boy didn't even have a scratch on him.
Goro allowed the others to crowd around Ren, slipping away to collect the money from his bets. He returned to shove Kitagawa and Niijima out of the way, knowing he was supposed to give some word of appreciation to Ren.
Anger. The first emotion that slammed into Goro's gut was anger. Pure, furious, absolutely devastating wrath. His hands clenched into twitching fists.
Sakamoto was with Ren, his arm around the raven-haired's shoulders. The blond buffoon was laughing and grinning proudly, shaking the amused leader.
Goro's amused leader. Because Ren was Goro's.
The sheer amount of rage inside Goro's body was enough to burn hotter than the sun. He stiffly marched over to the pair, biting the inside of his cheek to uphold his polite expression. Plastering a satisfied guise over his body, he subtly wrapped an arm around Ren's waist and pulled him away.
"I had no doubt in my mind that you would emerge victorious," Goro assured as he ruffled Ren's hair playfully. He swiftly took his hand off of his waist, patting his shoulder instead. "I'd expect nothing less from my rival."
Ren leaned into the touch, smirking smugly. He quirked an eyebrow up at Goro. "I'd hope not."
Goro kept his own smile on his face, although it felt a bit more genuine when he saw Ren's. He released the younger a second too late, his cheeks tinging light pink.
It evoked a curious glance from Sakura and a wink from Takamaki. The equally infuriating blonde made a little heart with her fingers, raising her eyebrows at Goro and Ren.
"I'll have to improve myself to stay worthy of being your rival," Goro said smoothly, attempting to regain his composure.
"I won't let you exceed me so easily," Ren replied with equal enthusiasm. He fixed his mask, the light reflecting off of his vivid silver eyes. He took a step forward, mere inches away from Goro as he tapped him lightly on the nose.
A cough escaped Sakamoto as he rubbed the nape of his neck. "Uh, can you do your gay competition somewhere else? We kinda still have a Palace to infiltrate."
Ren's cheeks tinted a beautiful light pink, half covered by the damn mask. "Sh-shut up!" He smacked Sakamoto upside the head.
Thankfully, they secured the route to the Treasure without any further incidents. Ren decided to head towards the entrance right after, planning to pick up any stray items they hadn't covered on the way. He gathered them in a Safe Room, checking on every individual member.
Goro held his breath when Ren approached him. His Skill Points were dipping rather low, but he'd survive. He didn't want to appear spent or tired out.
"And you, Crow?" Ren gave him a once-over, circling him. He smiled gently when he faced Goro again, the sweet action lighting up his entire body.
Goro told himself not to react—or rather, react in a way that would contrast or even be slightly off of the 'Akechi Goro' he displayed for everyone. Instead, he etched on another mild grin. "I'm fine."
Ren raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. He sighed dramatically, whirling towards Sakura. "Oracle?"
Sakura looked up from her spot on the couch, holding her palms up. "Hey, I'm laying off this one. I don't want to interfere with a couple's first fight, okay?"
Kitagawa had a brilliant stoic face while everyone else in the room either giggled like an immature kindergartener who heard the word 'poop', or scrunched up their face like they'd just gotten a lovely whiff of said feces.
Ren facepalmed. He shook his head, an equally amused and exasperated smile on his lips. "Fine, then." He took a step closer to Goro, shoving his hands in his pockets. "You've been switching through gun and physical attacks lately. You also use Happy Bombs instead of calling on Robin Hood. Is there anything you want to add?"
Reflectively, Goro's eyes narrowed and he crossed his arms tightly for a split second. He hated when Ren always saw through his guise. It both annoyed and impressed him how this person who had nothing simultaneously also had everything.
Wait—shit.
He shouldn't be revealing more of himself—this was not Detective Prince behavior. He should be the Akechi Goro everyone knows and loves and expects and wants. 'Akechi-kun' wouldn't ever glare or show any negative emotion, correct?
Goro relaxed his arms, wiping his face and curling his lips up into a plasticky grin that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Haha, you caught me! Sorry, I didn't want to drag anyone behind," he explained cheerfully.
Ren didn't seem convinced, his eyebrows knitting in worry. He hesitated for a moment before reaching inside his pocket and pulling out a mini thermos of coffee. "Well, here..."
"Apologies." Goro took the thermos, taking a few steps back. He downed the coffee in one gulp, heart racing as the burst of energy cleared his mind in a way he didn't realize could be. He glanced at the wall and tilted his head down so his hair covered his face, leaning against the table. He took deep breaths to calm his body down from the rush, arms folded in front of him protectively.
Goro was usually good at tuning out distractions. He was basically required to be, with his double—now triple—life. One for the media, one for the Phantom Thieves, and one for the motherfucker that shall not be named. So, as a result, he was a natural when it comes to narrowing things down and discarding useless matters.
Yet one damn person was always the exception.
"Oh my God, you fucking dumbass," Ren snickered across the room, shoving Sakamoto's shoulder teasingly.
Sakamoto laughed loudly, roughly hugging Ren. It was a playful gesture, innocent and thoughtless. Simply meant for the shits and giggles.
Goro was not shitting or giggling.
The familiar scorching anger came back, and when Goro slammed the thermos down, there were tiny indents where his fingers gripped it. Fuck. Who was the bumbling idiot thinking he was, hugging his Ren like that?
He stalked over to them, blood-red eyes blazing. He promptly snatched Ren's wrist and yanked him away, ripping Sakamoto's infuriating hands off. Goro's breathing was heavy, his other hand coming up to ghost Ren's back, barely touching the fabric of his jacket.
Ren's head snapped back so fast he might as well have suffered whiplash. He stumbled a few steps towards Goro, obviously caught off guard. His hands instinctively shot out to grab Goro's shoulders, blunt fingernails digging into his suit. Their faces were inches, no, centimeters apart. His gorgeous, deep silver eyes were shocked and wide. His mouth was half open, lips soft and plush. (With much effort, Goro was able to tear his gaze away from them.)
After finding his way back to Earth after getting lost in Ren's eyes, Goro blinked back into reality. He finally discovered what the fuck he did. His brain racked for excuses while his body remained frozen with the exception of his ears and cheeks turning bright red. He was remotely aware of everyone else staring at them, in varied states of shock.
"Joker...your tailcoat had caught on the leg of the table," Goro cleared his throat, removing the strain from his voice. "I was afraid you might trip."
Ren let out a nervous laugh, a few octaves higher than his usually deeper voice. "Oh...um. Thank you." He made no move to take his hands off of Goro or leave their position. A small, twitchy smile formed on his (kissable) lips, pink gradually coloring his pale face.
"You could've just told him instead of basically reenacting any classic BL scene!" Sakura objected slyly, beaming widely. She'd sat up on her heels and was watching them both with interest.
Okumura's mouth dropped open in panic, and she quickly put a finger over her lips, shushing Sakura gently. Niijima slapped a hand over Sakura's mouth, the two hovering over her like disappointed parents.
Goro's neck grew as hot as the rest of his body, practically melting in the layers of his Phantom Thief outfit. He flashed a passive-aggressive smile at Sakura, cocking his head. "Apologies, but that's rather rich coming from someone who's the size of an elementary schooler. If only your mouth were as tiny as your frame."
Sakura shot up from her seat, knocking the older girl's hand back. "What?" she demanded indignantly, slamming her hands down on the couch. But she was grinning, as if she was excited to have someone who finally countered her remarks. "At least I’m not some geeky nerd! You are not cute with your weird little quirks."
Goro raised an eyebrow, slightly amused but mostly annoyed. He fashioned his expression with precision, giving himself a soft little smirk and raised eyebrows, as if he was simply jesting with a child he was surprised could handle his comments.
"Funny you mention that, Sakura-san," he refuted calmly. "If you'd like to, I'd be happy to send you some heartfelt fan letters I've received in the past week. I'm sure you'd like to read through all 178 of them." He tucked a strand of hair behind his ear.
Out of the corner of his eye, he noted that Ren's face had turned rather stiff.
Sakura's face scrunched up as she mimed barfing. "Ugh. I forgot how many idiots are in this world."
Goro laughed lightly, a plastic high-pitched trill. "I wholeheartedly agree."
Ren shook his head, finally able to move his limbs. "Guys, calm down," he smiled sheepishly, clearly still flustered. His complexion had never faded from the pretty pink, and when he pulled away from Goro, his movements were jerky and uncertain.
It made such a warm burst of pride shoot through Goro's body. He was the only one allowed to give Ren such an effect. No one else could ever make Ren blush or flustered.
He had the sudden violent thought that if anyone was able to affect Ren that way, he'd shoot them.
No, I would give them an even more painful death than just a simple bullet in the skull. I would tie them up and take out my best knife, that one with the serrated blade and—
A thin hand interrupted his train of thought. Goro's gaze flickered from the floor to Kitagawa, who was waving his hand in front of the shorter boy's face.
"We are departing for the entrance, Crow. Is something wrong?"
Goro shook his head to clear his thoughts, rubbing the nape of his neck performatively. He quickly fabricated an expression that hopefully was able to convince Kitagawa. "No, I apologize. I was simply considering the subsequent events."
Kitagawa nodded before heading over to the entrance of the Safe Room. On the way, he engaged in a conversation with Sakura, thankfully distracted.
Goro blew out a small breath, closing his eyes for a brief second. His heart rate had picked up in nervousness, and he took a moment to slow it down. He usually wasn't this sloppy, but it was towards the end of his plan. Of course he'd be...excited...
"Hey." Ren strode over to him, his expression impassive and stony. He shoved his hands in his pockets, although his stare was piercing in a blank, unapologetic manner. "What were you guys talking about?"
Goro pasted on a casual grin for him, fixing his gloves. "Ah, that? It was merely nothing," he reassured airily. He was about to suggest they catch up with the others, before Ren cut him off.
"Well, what was it?" Ren prompted with a tight-lipped smile in return. He didn't look like dropping the subject at all, taking a few steps forward. His dark eyes bored into Goro's soul, prying him apart and scrutinizing the deepest parts of his essence.
Goro cocked his head in slight curiosity. This response was rather unforeseen. He didn't expect Ren to pursue an answer...perhaps the abnormality that revolved around the other boy was what made him so captivating. Ren never seemed to follow the script everyone else acted out upon, never played by the rules. Truly the most invigorating person he's known.
"Joker, it really holds no significance," Goro insisted, raising an eyebrow in confusion.
A tiny frown formed on Ren's face and he crossed his arms firmly. He stalked forward again, now directly in front of Goro. "Then tell me," he pressed emphatically. "It shouldn't be a problem, right?"
Goro's eyebrows shot up, and he raised up his palms light-heartedly. "Of course," he agreed swiftly. "Fox was merely informing me of our next course of action. He inquired about my well-being; I replied that I was fine."
Why is Ren so adamant to obtain an answer? Why does he care about this particular interaction so much?
Ren proved himself to be unpredictable yet again. "Is there any more?" he prodded tightly, shoving his hands back in his pockets.
Goro nodded, placing his hand on his hip. He shot a teasing grin at Ren, attempting to appear unbothered. "Of course, Joker. Now, why don't we follow up with the others? They must be quite worried as to where their leader is."
Ren blew out a breath, shaking his head at himself. It was as if all the intensity and energy had deflated and faded back into the normal amount. He took off his mask to rub at his eyes, nodding slowly. "You're...right. Sorry about that..."
Goro's grin softened in spite of himself. He gently placed a hand on Ren's head, stroking the fluffy hair. "It's alright. We've run through the entire floor in one day—let's head back and get some rest, yes?"
Ren nodded again, a bit more like himself already. He suddenly wrapped his arms around Goro's waist tightly, nearly strangling him in a hug. "You're right again. Thanks, Akechi."
Goro's pulse rushed in his ears again, and his hands were trembling when they embraced Ren. "Of course."
This is how it's supposed to be. Just Ren and I. Me and Ren.
Goro shook his head at himself, biting his lip until he could taste copper. He had to get a grip on himself. This wasn't on the agenda.
Goro forced a light chuckle out of his throat, patting Ren's back. He took a slow step back, as excruciating as it was to leave Ren's warmth. "Shall I go inform the others that you haven't smashed my skull in and hid my body in a closet?" he teased as he turned his back and began walking towards the entrance of the room.
Ren laughed quietly. "Go ahead." He didn't sound affected by the physical contact at all.
Fuck him. Goro waved a hand as he left, not turning back.
He didn't catch the dark glint in Ren's eyes or the way the other boy's gaze remained on Goro's receding figure.
"You really hate losing, don't you?"
Goro's nerves frayed even further at those words, although he plastered yet another smile on his face, covering the ugliness underneath. "Yes," he chuckled, widening his eyes for effect. "Even I was unaware it was this severe."
FUCK! How in the world did I lose to him? I cannot possibly have lost to Amamiya Ren. He's—he pisses me off! He has everything. Everyone somehow fucking loves him. And how could they not? He's beautiful, smart, funny, kind—he has everything that I don't. Yet I still—I still—I still don't hate him for it?!
Why can't I hate him?
Goro shook his head at himself, his smile turning dark and hysterical. His face twitched with effort to uphold the prestigious expression. He stared at the ground, nails digging crescents into his palms as he clenched his fists.
I need to leave. Now. I cannot afford to lose control at such a critical moment.
Goro took a deep breath, steeling his shoulders. "I must go. I'll be seeing you, Ren. Don't worry—this won't hold me back from our mission." Without waiting for an answer, he briskly turned on his heel and began stalking away.
"Wait—Akechi!"
Ren didn't let the other boy walk more than three steps. He grabbed Goro's arm, quickly swerving to face him. "You don't really hate me, do you?" he asked quietly, those damn eyes piercing into Goro's very being.
Goro scoffed bitterly, his facial features twitching with strain from upholding the calm, collected façade. He opened his mouth, ready to fire back, before he bit his tongue. He mentally cursed himself. He couldn’t reveal any more about himself. He had to maintain his image.
A sour mix of frustration and resentment built up inside him, boiling under his skin and ready to explode. He choked it down, taking a deep breath and reshaping his face. He urged the corners of his lips to twist in an amiable grin, but his body wasn't having it. He eventually gave up and settled on a blank, neutral expression. "What are you talking about, Joker? Did I not express myself clearly enough?" he asked flatly.
Ren shook his head, gritting his teeth as he tightened his grip around Goro's forearm. Devastation marred the carefreeness in his eyes, desperation laced his voice. "You're lying. To yourself, to me, you're lying."
Goro ran a trembling hand through his hair, blowing out a harsh breath. He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut in vexation.
"No." Ren dug his fingers into Goro's arm, forcing the other boy to meet his intensely sharp gaze. "I know you're lying because I love you." His eyes narrowed. "And I know you love me back."
That was the last straw.
A dark, completely hysterical laugh escaped Goro's throat, jagged and raspy. He tried to wrench his hand away, rolling his eyes to hide how they were burning holes in his sockets.
"Don't you understand?" Goro snapped, his voice strained from attempting to stay calm. "All you're going to do is get hurt by me." He glared at Ren, pouring all his fury into those deep silver eyes. "And you know nothing about me, Ren."
Ren shook his head determinedly, although he sensed the truth in the words. "That doesn't matter right now," he countered. "And even if it does, I want to know more about you. I've always wanted to."
He tugged Goro closer, a plea in his words. "Don't leave."
Goro laughed again at the absurdity of the situation, cursing the entire damn planet. He yanked on his hand, a futile attempt against the iron grip Ren had on his arm.
"Are you stupid?" Goro demanded severely, his voice cracking. "You've seen me. You're seeing me right now." He jabbed his finger against his own chest, a sardonic smile splitting his face. "This isn't what you want."
"Will you shut up?" Ren screamed back, his voice shattering the fragile atmosphere. He surged forward, his eyes wild and unrestrained with something dark. His arms enveloped Goro's waist, unyielding and vise-like. Tears welled up and spilled over his waterline, flowing over his smooth, pale cheeks. He cleared his throat, an attempt to appear somewhat sensible. His hot tears soaked into Goro's shoulder, penetrating through the fabric similar to how he penetrated Goro's walls and was able to see the ugly, twisted being underneath that plastic smile.
Goro's cheeks burned in what he tried to convince himself was anger. But the tightness in his chest was much too constricting, as if his rib cages had grown consciousnesses and had a goal of strangling his heart to death. Ren's warmth seeped through the layers of clothing, further igniting the smarting in Goro's eyes. The vigor of Ren's embrace shocked him into silence, sent him scrambling for certainty.
WHAT THE FUCK. What...he...Why is he hugging me? Is he insane? How can I...how can I possibly kill him now?
Who was Goro kidding. He couldn't ever have killed Ren in the first place. Not when the fool was the only person keeping him alive.
Goro, who hated waking up every day because it reminded him of his own worthless existence. Who hated plastering a mask over his real personality. Who believed no one wanted him. Who knew no one could ever want him. Who hated the world and the stupidity-filled humans.
Goro, who now woke up for the prospect of passing by Ren in the morning. Who attended television shows in hopes Ren would watch them from Leblanc. Who felt heard by Ren whenever he spoke of philosophy and justice. Who allowed himself to share his past troubles and worries with Ren. Who found the one human he trusted wouldn't hurt him.
Ren took a deep breath, reminding Goro where he was in reality. "Listen for a second," Ren implored quickly, resting his head on Goro's shoulder. "I just want to be with you. I don't care if you think you'll hurt me because I know you won't. I'm not stupid, Goro."
He raised his gaze, lifting up a hand to hover over Goro's cheek. "Whenever you mention someone confessing to you, I'm so damn jealous all the fucking time. And I’m tired of it. I can't imagine anyone being with you, and I won't let anyone be with you. Because...you're mine."
Goro couldn't breathe. Couldn't move. From emotional and physical reasons—Ren's other arm was crushing one of his lungs. But the steady pulse from that arm was what encouraged Goro's to continue. A constant reminder that Ren wanted this. Wanted him. It burned a wound through Goro's chest, a ball of fire nestling into the hollowness where his heart was barely struggling to beat, chipped away and reduced to a tiny fragment.
But Ren's infinite, bright silver eyes? Piercing through Goro in the best way possible, searching for something even he himself didn't know. Always straying to Goro, pricking his skull. Telling him he was wanted, admiring him for something more than just the Detective Prince, the façade he wore. The quiet attention that put him on the stage in front of a loving audience, adoring anything and everything he did.
The pain returned to Goro's eyes, stronger than ever. They drew out tears, the wetness flowing down his cheeks like hot blood.
Ren loved him. Ren wanted him.
Fuck Ren. I hate him. I love him. Of course I love Ren. But...I don't know how to love him. I've read countless books, seen countless movies. Yet Ren isn't normal. I cannot satisfy him with basic services. But...I must try.
Goro batted Ren's hand away, his arms sore from holding still for the past five minutes. He reached up a hesitant hand to pinch Ren's cheek, hard. Ren's face twitched endearingly, his large eyes widening even more and glossy. It was a beautiful sight, for Goro and Goro only.
"Mine," he whispered faintly, under his breath. He was fixated on Ren. The chains holding him back had been shattered and his feelings were overwhelming his brain. He poured it all into the one boy who'd caused everything. A wry, disbelieving smile formed on Goro's lips. It was crooked and wide, soft with a certain kind of gentleness he only had for Ren.
"I won't allow anyone else to be with you, either," he promised severely. "As I recall, you're my rival, yes? Only my rival. And I'm only yours as well." He smirked brokenly, melancholy and sarcasm melding together. "I'm incapable of this concept you label as 'love'. I don't know if you realize it, Ren, but you've made possibly the largest mistake in your life."
Ren shook his head, beaming widely. He hugged Goro tightly, pressing his cheek against Goro's as if trying to mold them together. "No, I haven't. I've made possibly the best decision of my life. I love you, Goro. No matter what."
Goro's cheeks ignited with the flames of the sun, his heart screaming and trying to break free from his ribs. He tried to shove the feelings away, gripping Ren's shoulders like a lifeline. "You should be prepared for whatever I throw your way," he muttered, attempting to sound powerful and threatening. He resembled a sappy teenager infatuated with the love of his life. "If you aren't, I'm going to be disappointed."
Ren merely grinned brighter, planting a tiny kiss on Goro's cheek. "Oh, I'm ready. If anything, you better watch out," he teased playfully, practically glowing.
Goro glared at him for the kiss, rolling his eyes. "That was rather weak." He wound his hand around to cup the back of Ren's head, pulling him closer. Another hand on Ren's cheek guided their mouths together in a challenging dance, unrelenting with both boys striving to be the victor.
Ren made a tiny muffled noise, his embrace growing firmer and tighter as well. He was just as enthusiastic, perhaps even more so. As if he wouldn't let Goro go, ever. And Goro would be lying if he said the prospect didn't please him.