Work Text:
Wei Wuxian
Trailblazer
The other day, I stopped and asked myself a vitally important question: Why CAN’T we just print more money?
The more I contemplated it, the more I realized that there’s actually no good reason why we can’t do that.
If we just print some more cash, everyone can have more for free, and we’ll all be better off as a society.
This is the perfect example of how our mindsets hold us back.
The only thing stopping us from achieving our potential is that mental block telling us we can’t do it.
So I am going to buy a printer and learn some specialized forging techniques, because I’m not willing to give in to the “majority opinion” just because I’m supposed to.
Without trailblazers, how will any trails be blazed?
Think about it.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: This is illegal.
Wei Wuxian
Interviewee
I tipped my interviewer—and here’s why.
The greatest corporate HR departments work so hard evaluating job candidates, and they deserve to be recognized for their work and the time they put in.
Whether it’s using AI to filter keywords on candidates’ resumes, sending impersonal automated emails, or lying to prospective employees about the work culture, many HR professionals expend unimaginable resources and effort to find the perfect fit for an open role.
So when I leave an interview after being asked insightful questions about what plant I most relate to, I slip the interviewers a little something to show my appreciation—nothing crazy, just a $50 bill or so. I give them a playful wink to show that I value their hard work.
Some may call this a “bribe” or an “inappropriate gift,” but those naysayers are shortsighted. They don’t understand that networking happens when you least expect it; maybe I don’t get this job, but they’ll remember me if something else comes up, and they’ll be eager to interview me again because they know I truly sympathize with them.
It’s not just about the networking, though. It’s mainly about the pureness of my heart that wants them to have this small monetary donation to acknowledge that the work they’re doing is so vital.
Thank you cards and emails are old-fashioned and trite. Interviewers might not tell you this to your face, but that’s not what they want. They actually want to know that they’re truly seen.
And isn’t that what we all want, really?
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: You shouldn’t bribe interviewers.
Wei Wuxian
Storyteller
Practicing mindful fictionalization is going to change the way you interview.
It’s time to release yourself from the shackles of sincerity and allow yourself to explore the fabrication of a new reality through your answers to interview questions.
No matter what they ask you, remember: At no point during this interview did you swear to tell the truth. And at no point does anyone expect that from you. They don’t want honesty; they want entertainment value.
You will become a more valuable candidate by proving you have the creativity and ingenuity to make up outrageous lies on the spot. This shows a kind of unique forward thinking that is lacking from so many job seekers these days.
The more unbelievable your lies, the more respect your interviewer will have for you. That’s why in every interview I make sure to reference my seventeen Olympic gold medals and my fluency in languages that may or may not exist. What are they going to do, fact-check me?
Be confident. Be creative. Be cunning.
That’s how you’ll land your dream job.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: Are you telling a joke? They can easily fact-check those statements.
Wei Wuxian
Gastronome
Here’s a tip: When you do a lunch interview, your interviewer IS paying attention to what you order.
That’s why I order hundreds of dollars’ worth of food at every lunch interview.
This demonstrates to my prospective employer that I have great taste, a healthy estimation of my value, and a voracious appetite for success.
Many interviewees make the mistake of appearing timid and concerned for the company’s finances by only ordering something small and cheap, but 9 out of 10 interviewers will become enraged by you implying they can’t afford to shell out the big bucks.
To make money, you have to spend other people’s money. That’s a fact.
The fastest way to earn your interviewer’s respect is by asserting dominance through your restaurant order. You need to be ordering the most expensive dishes and libations and asking the waiter thoughtful, in-depth questions about each selection.
Make sure you order several staggered courses so no matter what the interviewer asks, you’ll always have an opportunity to tastefully avoid the question because your mouth is full.
Even if the interview is not supposed to be over lunch, you can transform the opportunity by requesting a lunch interview instead, asking them to place a delivery order for you during the interview, or bringing your own food and sending them a reimbursement request along with your thank you email.
This is going to revolutionize the way you interview. Trust me.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: Do you need help preparing for interviews?
Wei Wuxian
Trained Combatant
We’ve all been there. The dreaded question: Can you explain this gap in your resume?
It may seem daunting to be asked this invasive personal question in an interview, but the truth is that there’s an easy way around it.
You just have to turn it around on your interviewer. Try responding with: “Okay, then can you explain why you [insert invasive personal detail]?” For example, can you explain why you’re wearing such a hideous tie?
Not only will the interviewer be impressed by your bold approach to being questioned, but they will feel touched that you noticed something personal about them and incorporated it into your response.
You need to treat every interview like a battle and ensure that your interviewer suffers a crushing defeat with every question.
This is what we call “show don’t tell”: Rather than telling your interviewer that you are confident, ambitious, and effective, you need to show them this by gaining the upper hand.
They won’t be worried about some gap in your resume when they’re too busy trying to keep up after you take control of the interview.
Remember: This isn’t about them. It’s about you demonstrating how capable you are, and there’s nothing that highlights your abilities more than victory.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: Is this why you’re having difficulty finding a job?
Wei Wuxian
Master Tactician
The biggest challenge for any job candidate is figuring out how to stand out among the crowd.
But it may not be as hard as you think.
What I’m about to tell you will change your life.
I’m about to guarantee your success with a 100% foolproof method. If you do this, you’re going to get any job you want.
Every time you interview with a company, you just need to do one simple thing.
Leave a 1-star review.
On Google, Glassdoor, Yelp—anywhere you find the opportunity to rate the company. You can also email your review directly to your interviewer.
The modern corporate world doesn’t want sheep. They’re looking for the next great movers and shakers.
You can be exactly that by posting scathing criticisms online. Be sure to give as much identifying information as possible to get your name out there.
Your prospective employer will be humbled by your thoughtful critiques, ashamed of their own inadequacy, and impressed that you had the courage to post such an incendiary review in the middle of the interview process.
That’s how you set yourself apart from the crowd. It’ll work every time.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: Not a good idea.
Wei Wuxian
Cat Whisperer
While on my way to an interview today, I found a feral cat on the street.
So I brought her along.
Why?
Because I believe in taking every opportunity presented to me. Maybe this cat was just a cat, or maybe she was a witch’s familiar trying to issue me a quest.
Are you going to risk missing a valuable opportunity?
So I brought that cat to my job interview, and she did what any feral cat would.
She attacked the interviewer.
Not only that, she caused more than $1 million in damages by destroying irreplaceable documents, and she killed one of the fish in the office fish tank.
Do I regret it?
Of course not.
That interviewer is going to remember me as the person who caught the feral cat and stopped her reign of destructive tyranny.
No one’s going to remember that I brought the cat in the first place.
Let this be a valuable lesson: A cat is never just a cat. A cat is a chance to differentiate yourself and stand out from the crowd. An opening to display your quick reflexes and creative problem-solving. And, most importantly, a friend to accompany you through the interview process.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: When did you get a cat?
Wei Wuxian
Thought Leader
Here’s three reasons why you should negotiate a lower salary. (Yes, I do mean lower.)
- Greed is one of those sins they talk about in the Bible.
A love of money drives evil if you’re just starting out in your career. It’s not good for your character to earn too much money until you grind for years and exploit other people’s labor to eventually rise to the highest level of the corporate ladder. Once you understand the value of money, then you can start to earn millions at the expense of your employees.
- If your boss doesn’t pay you enough, you don’t actually have to listen to them.
This is a work hack that no one is willing to tell you about: You can free yourself from the chains of tyranny simply by reminding your boss that they don’t pay you a living wage, so the tasks they assign you are not worth the effort. Your boss will be really impressed that you know your worth—and really happy you’re still not asking for pay commensurate with that worth, so they can keep that money for themself.
- It’s a power move that will confuse your interviewers into hiring you.
Don’t underestimate the power of psychological warfare. No one ever asks for a lower number than the starting offer, so the corporate denizens negotiating with you will fall into confusion, thinking it’s too good to be true. Keep dropping the number bit by bit until they realize you’re being serious, and they’ll be so delighted and bewildered by what’s happening that they’ll offer you the position immediately. This is 100% guaranteed.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: You should be compensated fairly for your labor, but I can support you.
Wei Wuxian
Global Synergy Facilitator
Today a Nigerian prince offered me the chance of a lifetime—and I said yes.
Here’s what I know: You can’t be afraid to take risks or make new connections. Fear is the enemy of success.
That’s why I built a strong relationship with a member of the Nigerian royal family. He needs a bank account to deposit money in; I have a bank account. He’s offering a commission for my assistance; I could use a bit of extra cash.
See how easy it is to network?
I haven’t received the money yet, but I’m confident in the trust we’ve fostered via email. That’s how you do business.
In this technological golden age, you need to stop trusting your “instincts” and start relying on your hustle mentality.
If an offer seems too good to be true, that just means it’s a really, really good offer.
In business, you can’t do everything alone. Sometimes you just need a wealthy Nigerian prince by your side.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: Is this a joke? Did you give your bank account information to a scammer?
Wei Wuxian
Conqueror, Collaborative Spaces
You’re using your office breakroom all wrong.
It’s not a place for community-building.
It’s not a spot to relax when you need a break from work.
It’s not a convenient venue to reheat your leftovers.
You need to expand your mind.
The breakroom is, fundamentally, an opportunity to assert dominance over your colleagues.
Here’s some methods to try:
- Set the breakroom microwave on fire.
- Eat your coworkers’ food in front of them.
- Freeze their food in blocks of ice.
- Turn the communal sink into an aquarium for live fish or crustaceans.
- Put up posters detailing each colleague’s personal flaws.
- Install a speaker in the ceiling that only plays horror movie music.
Once you establish your totalitarian rule over the breakroom, the entire office will be trembling with respect and fear. This will only improve the bonds between your colleagues—maybe not your bonds with them, but they’ll certainly develop more synergy with each other, and that’s a net win for the company.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: Is this how your first day of work is going?
Wei Wuxian
Lateral Thinker
I have a surefire way to pass your performance evaluations every time.
Performance appraisals are the enemy of progress. They cannot capture the unique charms and skillsets of the best employees, and they overpraise the meek rule followers who are too afraid to burn bridges or break company property on the road to success.
Fortunately, I have the perfect way for today’s movers and shakers to level the playing field, one performance eval at a time: Tank your coworkers’ reviews when you’re asked to give stakeholder feedback.
Why is this a genius move?
First, it makes you seem better in comparison. Your coworkers are probably too timid to give you negative critiques even behind your back, so pushing their scores lower will only benefit you.
Second, it will impress your boss. They will be amazed that you were willing to turn on your fellow proletariat and give such harsh, cutting evaluations of people who work much harder than you.
Third and most importantly, it will build your character. Not everyone has the psychological strength to be so callous and disloyal, so doing this evil deed will fortify your spirit.
At the end of the day, class consciousness is the enemy of success. You can only truly move up on the world by stomping on the faces of your comrades in the trenches.
Only losers care about the people around them. Don’t forget that!
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: Delete this. What if people take it seriously?
Wei Wuxian
Time Maximizer
Here’s how I work 200-hour weeks: I just don’t sleep.
Sleeping is actually a lie propagated by Big Pillow, and no one really needs it.
Recently, I learned that I don’t have to sleep at all, and I’ve never felt better in my life. I’m hearing colors and seeing sounds I’ve never heard or seen before.
Every minute you spend asleep is a minute you could’ve spent on the grind, making money for our corporate overlords.
True hustlers and grinders know that the “eight-hour myth” is designed to hold us back. The pillow and mattress companies have been spinning this web of lies since prehistoric times, and we need to fight back.
I hope you’ll join me in saying “no” to a night of sleep and instead investing that time back into work. Everyone knows that peak performance can only be achieved if you release yourself from the constraints of alleged biological necessities.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: A week is only 168 hours.
Wei Wuxian
Valued Asset
How committed are you as an employee?
I’m so committed that I didn’t even leave my desk when I found out that my girlfriend was trapped in a burning building.
You may be thinking, “That’s crazy!” or “Wow!” or even “Did she live?”
The truth is, girlfriends are temporary, but the grind is forever. That’s why I turned off my phone so the notifications wouldn’t distract me from hitting my KPIs.
Truly great employees are always able to keep their eyes on the prize, so I never let minor distractions pull me away from my goals.
Before you help your girlfriend, you first have to help your clients. That building may be burning for a while, but your clients’ metaphorical burning building—a small typo in a PowerPoint—has to be rectified immediately.
That’s how you show your clients and your employer that you are truly willing to give up anything in service of them.
That’s how you become a businessman.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: Girlfriend?
Wei Wuxian
Crypto Enthusiast
It happened to me: I got shadow-banned in real life.
This disgusting practice of censorship violates human rights, and I won’t stay quiet about my experience.
Yesterday I attended a children’s birthday party to teach today’s youth about tomorrow’s best investment: cryptocurrency.
This is a valuable lesson that needs to start as early as possible to kickstart a child’s financial future.
Unfortunately, the evil algorithms conspired to silence me.
As I tried valiantly to share my wisdom on hustle culture and child-friendly crypto, no one was able to hear me. They just walked right past me like I wasn’t even there, and I can’t think of another explanation for this other than some new, advanced method of shadow banning that follows you offline.
The algorithm is afraid of what I have to say, which is how I know I need to double down and start selling crypto to children even harder.
I will not bow my head to tyranny, and I cannot be stopped.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: One-year-old children do not need cryptocurrency.
Wei Wuxian
Radical Realist
Today a child came up to me on the street and said, “I want to be an entrepreneur excelling in B2B sales just like you one day.”
You know what I said?
“Get this thing away from me.”
The kid may have run away crying, but I told his mother this is the greatest gift anyone is ever going to give him.
The gift of failure.
When he’s an entrepreneur excelling in B2B sales, his mother is going to thank me.
Entrepreneurship is not for crybabies. It’s not for the faint of heart.
To become truly legendary in the sphere of B2B sales, you have to treat every person you interact with as an enemy combatant. It’s never a simple interaction; it’s a battle.
That’s how I’ve become the #1 B2B salesperson in the entire world.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: You do not do B2B sales.
Wei Wuxian
Geometry Wizard
Many people have been saying I’m running a “pyramid scheme.”
Every time I hear that, I have to laugh at their foolishness.
They must not know their shapes very well.
It’s not a pyramid; it’s an inverted funnel system. Ever heard of an inverted funnel system scheme? No, because it’s completely different and totally legitimate.
If it were a pyramid scheme, why would so many people have signed up to become home-based distributors and transform their lives? Exactly.
The people know that this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
You’re not selling some boring, run-of-the-mill product. You’re selling the IDEA of selling to other potential salespeople.
You’re also selling magic beans that can cure all ills, so that’s just the cherry on top.
If you’re ready to take the leap into this dark chasm and plummet to uncertain depths, DM me to join my inverted funnel system.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: What do you mean by “magic beans”?
Wei Wuxian
Sub-Optimal Self-Starter
My first 20 businesses have failed, and that’s actually a sign of success.
Here’s why.
Putting all my capital into 20 consecutive failed businesses has freed me of my material concerns. I’m essentially a monk of the business world.
With my newfound perspective, I know what’s truly important.
Mindset.
As long as I don’t “feel” like a failure, I’m not one.
Sure, all of my money has been sunk into ventures that will never pay off.
Sure, I owe millions to loan sharks who won’t get off my back.
Sure, I sold my kidney to pursue a business opportunity that didn’t pan out.
But none of that defines me or my worth as a businessman.
In my mind, I’m the most successful person in the world.
Can you say the same?
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: Kidney??
Wei Wuxian
Talent Appreciator
Today, I happened to come across a promising young woman with huge potential for success, so I hired her on the spot.
Yes, she was trying to rob me at knifepoint.
In actuality, though, she was highlighting a security flaw.
There’s nothing in this world I value more than that kind of solutions-oriented mindset.
Where other people see a felony, I see tenacity and an unyielding spirit.
Today she might be robbing me with a knife, but tomorrow she can hook prospective clients with that knife, metaphorical or otherwise.
Truly great entrepreneurs know how to leverage every situation they encounter and harness rare talent.
Never let it be said that I’m not one of the greats.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: Knife? Robbery? Explain.
Wei Wuxian
Shrewd Businessman
Here’s the type of job candidate you should never, ever hire.
One who asks about the salary.
While interviewing a candidate today, I was excited about his immense knowledge about the company, his impressive skills, and his sparkling personality.
Then he asked the dreaded question: “What’s the salary for this position?”
That tells me he’s not in this business for the love of the game.
If he really wanted to work here, he would be begging to do it for free.
Maybe he would even pay me for the opportunity.
Jobs are not about the money you can make there.
They’re about the grind.
If you’re not working a job because you love the hustle, why are you even here?
I had security escort this candidate out right away, because I’m not looking to hire people who aren’t committed to their passion.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: That would be highly inappropriate if true.
Wei Wuxian
Nondenominational Nonreligious Corporate Youth Pastor
I hired a 17-year-old as a senior engineer, and it was the best decision I’ve ever made for my company.
No, this teenager hasn’t graduated early.
No, he doesn’t have any background in engineering.
No, he didn’t seek out the role.
But age, experience, skill, and interest should be nonfactors in hiring.
Let’s look at the facts:
This kid worked as a barista in the lobby cafe, so he was already familiar with my office building. ✅
He made my coffee just the way I asked, with 15 sugars and a cup of cream. ✅
When I asked him why he wanted to be an engineer, he said, “I don’t.” ✅
Sometimes the best hire is the most unlikely one.
Remember that.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: Fifteen sugars? I thought it was eight. Has your order changed?
Wei Wuxian
Boss of the Year
I tested these methods of incentivizing employees so you don’t have to—here’s what actually works and doesn’t work.
First, the traditional methods:
BONUSES & RAISES ❌
Not effective. Employees are not there for the money.
FREE BREAKFAST ❌
Employees prefer to supply their own food, so there’s no point in providing it for free.
EXTRA PTO ❌
Giving employees extra time off from work will only make them feel unwelcome, like you don’t want to see them in the office. Avoid this method.
Now for the more avant-garde techniques, which get real results:
LIVE RATTLESNAKES ✅
You would not believe how much more productive your employees will be if you fill the office with live rattlesnakes and only offer protective gear to those who meet their targets on schedule.
ATTACK RABBITS ✅
Train rabbits to attack on sight if they see any employees not focused on their computer.
BOMB TIMER ✅
Connect your employees’ computers to a live explosive device that will go off if their mouse stops moving for more than 30 seconds.
These methods may seem extreme at first, but I guarantee that once you start implementing them you will see immediate results.
Your employees’ productivity is a reflection of your worth as a manager, so don’t be afraid to take action.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: Rabbits cannot and should not be trained in that way.
Wei Wuxian
Senior VP, Psychological Operations
My subordinate asked for a raise, so I fired him on the spot in the middle of the company holiday party.
Extreme? Maybe. Effective? Yes.
After I publicly fired him, I rehired him immediately.
Why? Because I’d hate to lose a valuable employee over such a minor issue, and now he won’t dare to ask for any more money.
To succeed in business, you have to know how to navigate complex social dynamics and use tactics of psychological warfare to your advantage.
What does this employee want even more than a raise?
To keep his job.
Now that I’ve given him what he truly wants, I’ve fulfilled his psychological need to stay employed and my own psychological need to not pay my subordinates a living wage.
This is a win for all involved.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: Have you considered writing fiction novels instead of LinkedIn posts?
Wei Wuxian
Aspiring Alpha
What if everything you’ve ever been told about wellness was a scam?
These “vegetables” and “fruits” are an invention by Big Produce to sell you something your body doesn’t enjoy or even need.
I eat a 16-ounce steak and a cold stick of artisanal butter for every meal, and I’ve never felt better in my life.
Why?
Because you can’t put low-quality oil in your engine and expect high-quality performance.
The Tyrannosaurus rex didn’t eat his greens.
Why?
Probably because his arms couldn’t reach any. And he still managed to be king of the dinosaurs. The original alpha.
I’ve already seen tremendous results from my new diet. I have more energy than ever, I’m maximizing my LDL levels, and I’m developing an intense urge to consume the steaks raw on every full moon.
This new approach to a healthy lifestyle is going to revolutionize my productivity and the way I do business.
Why?
Because it’s just that powerful.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: If you’re not eating half of the produce in our fridge, then who is?
Wei Wuxian
Director of Priorities
Today I taught my employees an important lesson. 💡
I called a meeting and told them to take out their personal phones and throw them out the window. 🤳🪟
You might be wondering, Why? 🤔
It’s something everyone has to learn eventually: You’re not going to be successful if you’re unwilling to make sacrifices. 🔥
Today it’s your phone, tomorrow it might be your marriage, but the job has to come first. 💍🔨
I can’t work with staff who aren’t willing to blindly destroy their personal possessions on the whim of a corporate tyrant. 👑👔
That’s why I’m now hiring for several new roles. Link below. ⤵️
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: Yes, I am wondering why.
Wei Wuxian
Cybersecurity Expert
What if everything you’ve ever been told about phishing is wrong? 🎣
It’s actually good to click on links in suspicious emails, and here’s why. 🔗☠️
This is an infallible method to test your business’s cybersecurity defenses and make sure your IT staff are actually doing their jobs. 👨🏻💻
The truth is, there’s really no better way to test someone’s ability to think on their feet than by putting them in a crisis situation. 💣
Your IT department will probably even thank you for the opportunity to solve a challenging problem. 🧠
I feel content every day knowing that my IT staffers are truly earning their wages. 💰
I’m not going to let an important email or an exciting virtual opportunity pass me by just because I’m scared of the consequences of clicking on that link. That’s not who I am.🦠
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: 👎
Wei Wuxian
Financial Visionary
The biggest scam that no one in business talks about? Taxes.
I stopped paying my taxes, and here’s why you should too.
If you think about it, I’m already contributing enough to society by being this sexy and charming and intelligent and hilarious and successful and business-minded, so it doesn’t seem right that I also have to give up the money I worked hard to earn by exploiting my workers.
Given all I do, I shouldn’t also be expected to care about the well-being of the community I live in and pay my fair share.
That’s just ludicrous.
Besides, taxes aren’t even that useful. Why should I pay a fixed, reasonable amount of money in taxes to fund public resources when instead I could pay an exorbitant amount of money to get my own resources that don’t benefit anyone else?
That’s just common sense.
Think about it.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: You do pay taxes. I file them for you.
Wei Wuxian
Character Development Strategist
My son asked me for some ice cream, and you know what I said?
“This is what’s wrong with your generation. When I was your age, I wasn’t asking for handouts.”
I didn’t need to ask. In fact, everyone just automatically gave me everything I ever needed.
This is an important lesson for kids to learn if they want to be successful in life and, more importantly, in business.
You have to grind, hustle, struggle, toil, labor away, strive, strain, and be backed by unfathomable amounts of generational wealth. That’s the formula, and ANYONE can do it if they really try.
You can’t just go around “asking” for things, expecting to be given them for free.
At the end of the day, I could’ve given my son some ice cream, but then what would he have learned?
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: Son? Is this about Sizhui? Why did you not give him ice cream?
Wei Wuxian
Radical Grindset Practitioner
I haven’t taken a Saturday off since I was in diapers.
What’s your excuse?
When you look up the word “losers” in the dictionary, you’ll find that definition is “people who believe in weekends.”
When you’re on the grind, you don’t get days off. The grind doesn’t know days of the week, because it can’t read a calendar.
By adopting the grindset, you are swearing a sacred vow at the altar of capitalism that must be upheld.
We were put on this earth not to forge meaningful human connections or pursue wisdom or find joy or improve ourselves. Our one true purpose is to strive for arbitrary and spiritually bankrupt markers of success that once achieved will make us feel empty inside.
That’s what this is all about.
And I think about that every Saturday as I grind.
What’s it all for?
It’s for that moment on your deathbed when you look back and think, “I’m so glad I spent my life leveraging core competencies to optimize deliverables and maximize ROI while achieving OKRs through strategically aligned synergy. That was really meaningful.”
Sure, no one will be there at the end to send you off on your final journey, but you’ll be accompanied by your fond memories of moving the needle.
Think of all the beautiful moments you’ll miss if you don’t grind on Saturdays.
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: You have never worked on a Saturday.
Wei Wuxian
President of Romantic Optimization
I’ll let you in on a secret.
This is the most powerful move you can make in business.
It’s the ultimate tactic for strategic cohesion.
With this foolproof method, you can double your assets and pool your resources almost instantaneously.
This force multiplier can allow you to achieve never-before-seen heights of synergy in the business sphere.
There is perhaps no greater or more efficient collaboration.
And it pays out the most meaningful dividends you’ll ever receive.
What is it, you ask?
Alright, alright, I’ll tell you.
I’m not a stingy person. I don’t believe in gatekeeping the good stuff.
That’s why I only share the best and most legitimate advice on my LinkedIn.
Here’s the best strategy of all: a merger of equals.
Some might even call it a marriage!
[Comments]
Lan Wangji: I suppose I agree, since I have already implemented this “strategy.” Are you finished making these ridiculous posts?