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1
When Jake pulls up to what he dubs the Austin-Wickham household in his beat up 2002 Silverado, Hailey nearly eats shit sprinting to the passenger seat. Jake stifles a laugh.
She doesn’t have any competition—Zander and Milly have other modes of transport—but she runs anyway. As much as she loves her family, she’s been losing her mind a little. Plus, Hailey has a feeling Jake would lock the car door and slowly pull forward til he’s down the block to fuck with her.
“Ya ready for this?” Jake asks, sending Hailey a teasing look.
Hailey’s been wanting to go to the beach for a while, and she couldn’t help dragging everyone else in the band along, especially after Milly revealed she hadn’t gone since middle school.
“It’s not, like, a big thing,” she’d groaned. Hailey had flicked her. “We are going as a family.” And that was that.
Hailey grabs her seatbelt and buckles up.
Hailey likes the passenger seat. She likes it more in her mom’s car, where Zander will kick her seat until she throws her headphones at him and Mom nearly swerves off the road, but Jake’s is nice, too.
His whole car is nice. Sure, the seats are busted and there’s a mysterious stain on the carpet covered by car mat, but it’s comfy.
Hailey tosses her beach bag onto the backseat. Jake shifts gears and rolls his shoulders back.
“Super ready,” Hailey says. “After all, I’m next to the best driver on this side of Rosemeadow.”
Jake grins. “That’s right!”
The best driver in all of Rosemeadow isn’t picking anyone else up. Zander’s at Luke’s house getting ready and Milly and Sean are driving with Milly’s mom.
Hailey feels her phone buzz.
Assder to you
Don’t get in a car crash
Jake is an evil reckless driver
Hailey sends him two thumbs up emojis and a middle finger for good measure.
“Who is it?” Jake asks, inching his way through the school zone.
“Zander,” Hailey answers. “He says you can’t drive.”
Jake laughs. “He’s just jealous of my driving skills. Maybe we should ditch the beach and go off-roading. You record for evidence I’m an awesome driver.”
Hailey snorts. “You’d crash.”
“Would not!”
“Would too.”
“Whatever, princess,” Jake shoots back.
“Maybe you’d almost hit Zander, too,” Hailey says, sinking back into her chair. The car smells like dust and air freshener. She lets the scent sink down to her bones, basks in it.
They drive in silence for a while, but once they’re on the open road, Jake tosses Hailey his phone and tells her to play whatever. She queues Charlie Puth to fuck with him, which earns a loud groan, but decides to stalk his Apple Music.
“Didn’t know you liked Christmas this much,” Hailey says, staring down at a playlist titled Meerry Christmas toooo YOUUU.
“Ignore that! That’s Milo’s!” Jake yelps.
Hailey eventually settles on queueing her favorite songs, which leads to them both singing along to “Scar Tissue” and Jake drumming out “Voulez-Vous” against the steering wheel.
The drive to the beach is an hour max, but they take a detour at the gas station and end up taking an extra half hour. Jake’s stuck between buying peach rings and gummy bears before he gives up and grabs both. Hailey scoops up a family size bag of Cheetos Puffs.
They elbow each other to the register and Jake elbows her out the door. When they get back to the truck, Hailey pushes his arm off of the center console. Jake pushes back, then they’re both elbowing each other again. At some point, some way that Hailey barely notices, her arm stops moving and suddenly her and Jake are pressed against each other, forearm to forearm.
Hailey swallows. She can feel him tapping away to “Message In A Bottle” without a care in the world.
Jake always needs to do something with his hands. In class she catches him pulling at his bracelets, toying with his lobe piercing, bouncing his leg. It’s constant. He’s constant, Hailey thinks, staring at his fingers. Jake fidgets and that’ll probably never change.
She kinda blanks out the rest of the drive. Her neck feels burning hot and the view from her window is nice, so she ends up rolling it down.
The wind is crisp and soothes her blush. The only warm thing is her arm sitting on the glove compartment.
The beach is—okay. Hailey’s just distracted. Even Milly notices, which means she must be acting super weird.
Jake threw her off. Not really him, but them nearly holding hands on the drive.
Hailey isn’t a stranger to touch: Dad always insists on hugs and Beth tackles her whenever she accidentally coops herself up in her bedroom for too long. It’s Jake’s touch she isn’t used to.
Distantly, she knows it should be normal, because it’s normal for the rest of her friends. She knocks out on Luke’s lap, huddles around Sean’s laptop whenever they produce together, and even hugs Milly when Zoey pisses her off a little too much. She doesn’t feel… excited, during any of that, like she guesses she does with Jake.
She and Zander are walking along the beach, straying further and further from everyone. When they’re out of earshot, Zander turns to her with narrowed eyes.
“What happened?”
Hailey blinks. “Nothing! Nothing, nothing happened.” She feels herself blushing at the thought of the car ride. Maybe Zander is stupid enough to think she’s sunburnt.
Zander’s eyes narrow even more. “You sure? Nothing with Jake?”
“Yes,” Hailey says.
Zander isn’t impressed, nor convinced. For now, though, he seems content to let it go.
They stroll for a little while longer, until Zander drops down and starts searching through the sand.
Hailey looks down at him, confused, until he lets out a soft “Ha!” and lifts up a cowrie shell. Hailey grins.
“You’re on,” Hailey says, and drops to the sand. She can’t remember the last time she lost this game.
When they were little, Zander and her would go to the beach enough that they made up little competitions. Things like castle building, pool digging (where they’d dig giant holes on the beach and lug buckets of water around to fill them), and, most importantly, shelling. They’d see who could find the coolest shell—Zander usually found the most, but Hailey always found the coolest.
She and Zander make their way back along the shore toward the club’s setup, which consists of towels and snacks piled up in Jake’s tailgate. Zander’s faster than her because he rushes, so he ends up yards away from her. At least she doesn’t have to worry about someone stealing the good shells.
Hailey’s not a fan of bending down, so when she spends more than a minute in a spot, she drops down and scoots herself along the beach. It’s not really productive, just a result of her laziness. She wants to keep her ankles intact.
They have a shell jar at home up on some shelf collecting dust, probably. They shove things that are too valuable to be thrown out but too unimportant to be out in the house into the attic. Hailey remembers once, while looking for art supplies, she dug up one of Dad’s old guitars and promptly lost her mind. It was hand-painted with flames crawling up the body. Dad caught her holding it and told her it was her inheritance. Hailey had barked out a laugh.
Maybe she should try to paint her guitar? Or get someone to do it? She doesn’t know anyone who could paint, though…
Hailey’s soul nearly leaves her body when she feels someone tap her shoulder.
“Sorry, sorry,” Jake says, dropping down to her level. He lowers his voice. “Whatcha doing?”
Hailey keeps her eyes trained on the sand and hopes she looks focused. “Looking for shells.”
Jake sounds excited. “Really?” He looks to Zander down the beach. “It’s a competition?”
Hailey hums, “Mhm.”
Hailey pushes the sand around and grabs a white cowrie with brown spots. She lifts it up so Jake can see.
Jake’s mouth forms an O. “Can I help?”
Hailey cracks a smile. “You don’t have to ask.”
Jake grins back and stands up, holding out a hand for Hailey to grab.
Her and Jake take turns looking beside each other. She shows Jake each shell and tells him its name—the cones, the clams, the tiny nerite shells. By the time Hailey’s legs hurt from kneeling down, her and Jake turn in. They both have a handful of shells. They dump them on Jake’s tailgate and Hailey gets to organizing.
Jake’s picked up about thirty puka shells. Hailey knows because she counts them between bursts of laughter. “You know, you can make a bracelet out of those,” Hailey says.
“For real?” Jake asks, leaning against his truck. “I just thought they were cool.”
“I can tell,” Hailey says with a grin, holding back a laugh.
Hailey found a couple of cones and augers. They’re all pretty small and they’re decorated with all kinds of patterns.
Jake picks up an orange and white auger and twists it around. “I like this one, too.”
“You can have it, if you want.”
“Really?” Jake asks, then smirks. “Of course you’d wanna gift a shell to a hunk like me.”
Hailey flushes slightly and rolls her eyes. “Take it. I probably have a trillion of those at home.”
“Even puka shells?”
Hailey snorts. “Yes, even puka shells.”
Jake makes a curious noise. He picks up each individual shell, examines it, and sets it down, like he needs to see each one in the light.
When Zander comes back, drops his shells, and it’s already clear Hailey’s won by a landslide.
“This is ridiculous,” Zander mutters, arms crossed. “How did you find so many cones?”
Hailey shrugs. “My favorite for a reason.”
“I hope there’s still poison in one of them,” Zander says with no bite. He looks back down at their collection. “Why did you grab so many puka shells?”
Hailey stiffens and slowly points to Jake, who is building a sand castle with Luke. Milly is burying Sean beside it. Zander snorts.
She and Zander watch them for a while, but then Milly launches a sand-snowball (sandball, she dubs it) at Luke and it turns into a brawl. Hailey finds herself laughing when Jake trips on Luke’s foot and eats a mouthful of sand.
When she looks back to Zander, he’s already looking at her with narrowed eyes. Hailey’s smile falters. “What?”
“Nothing,” Zander says. “Just noticing.”
Hailey turns beet red. “Noticing what?”
Zander suddenly looks away and clears his throat. “Luke! If you throw that at me, I’m throwing you into next fucking week.”
Zander sprints away to dodge a sandball. Hailey’s left standing alone in embarrassment, staring out into the blue, blue sea.
2
Jake corners a worn-out Hailey when she’s dragging herself out of AP Physics. He looks much better than she does. His face is practically glowing, mouth split into a wide grin and eyes glimmering. Hailey feels her stomach lurch.
“We should practice,” Jake says excitedly.
Jake follows Hailey down the hall to her locker. “Practice what?”
“Singing!” Jake exclaims, and Hailey feels her heart plummet to her feet. She’d rather eat dirt than try to write after this.
“Jake…” Hailey starts, turning to him, preparing herself to reject him. “I have…”
Jake stares at her with the most hopeful, enthusiastic expression she’s ever seen in her life. She feels her legs get weak. God, she needs help.
Her being weird with Jake is… new. She can’t say it’s unexpected, though. It’s Jake. Everyone likes him. Hailey just likes him a teensy bit more than someone normally would. Not like, romantically, or anything, though. Hailey just wants to get to know Jake. Obviously.
“I have… I have to tell Zander,” Hailey says quickly. “Tell Zander. That I won’t be with him. For the drive home?”
Hailey grimaces, because it’s so obviously a lie that she wants to bury herself six feet underground. Jake beams at her anyway. “‘Kay! I’ll see you, then.”
“See you,” Hailey says weakly.
Hailey’s a zombie trudging through the rest of her classes. They all pass by in a blur, occasionally interrupted by Luke or her partner for her Calculus project. All she can think about is practice. She thanks god that Zander won’t be around to “notice” other things, like he did at the beach.
Hailey knows she wants to know Jake better. She guesses it’s because he’s talented. He can sing his heart out, sure, but he’s skilled in other ways. He has a million friends and everyone knows him as nice, even after ditching the music club. Even after Zoey leaked the recording. Even after leaving his old friends in the dust.
Hailey thinks it's because he’s so sincere. He looks you in the eye, says what he knows needs to be said, encourages you. Hailey thinks he’s a little insane for it.
It’s hard to understand someone so positive and determined. When Jake auditioned for the music club, she could feel that determination roll off him in waves. Those same waves pulled her in gradually, lapping at her ankles and knocking her forward, until Hailey was so close to Jake she couldn’t imagine a time where she wasn’t. He wormed his way into her life and Hailey’s better for it.
It’s 3:30 P.M. when Hailey pulls out a chair in the club room. School’s over and Jake’s late, like he always is. Hailey’s staring down at her songbook when he all but slams the door to the music room open.
“Sorry,” he pants. “I’m… late. Teacher… held me back.”
Hailey looks at him incredulously. His last period was on the fifth floor. “Did you run here?”
Jake gasps up air and slides down the door. “Yes,” he manages, and sheds his backpack.
Jake’s on the ground, elbows on his knees as he catches his breath. Hailey fiddles: flips through her songbook, takes the lead in and out of her mechanical pencil, pushes her hair behind her ear.
Jake rises eventually and Hailey looks up at him. “So… what did you wanna try?”
“I wanted to try something like we did with ‘Starlight,’ but without instrumentals,” Jake says immediately, dropping into a chair.
Hailey furrows a brow. “Like… harmonizing?”
“Uhm… yeah, I guess,” Jake says. “I was just curious on how we’d sound. Something new?”
“We usually do that at practice anyway, though,” Hailey says, skeptical.
Jake puts his palms flat against the table. “Well, we’re also always ready for the backtrack, right? So what if it’s just our vocals we’re depending on?” Jake leans back.
Hailey must be looking at him weird, because Jake sighs. “Honestly…? I just wanna practice my singing,” he admits.
“I figured.” Hailey grins. “Why?”
“Well,” Jake begins, scratching the back of his neck, “I never really practiced my singing until I joined you guys. I should strengthen my vocals if I plan on singing with you again, right? I mean, you’re a thousand times better than I am.”
Hailey blushes. “I’m not that much better.”
Jake scoffs. “What? Of course you are! Your dad is a musician and you’ve been singing since forever. I just started taking it seriously again.”
“Well.” Hailey shuts her songbook. “Guess we need to get you to my level, huh?”
Jake rolls his eyes. “Come onnn, Haileyyyyy, I gotta practiceeee.”
“Fine.”
They start with a million vocal warmups, some so stupid sounding that they both burst out laughing at the first note. Jake won’t stop chanting about his mother mashing M&M’S.
Afterward, Jake suggests they sing “Starlight” to ease into everything. They run it over a couple times, but Jake keeps running out of breath on the longer notes. Hailey jokingly suggests he runs up and down the hall while holding a note to improve his breath control, but Jake heartily agrees and does it twice. He flops onto the table after, breathing hard.
“Did it help?” Hailey asks, looking up from her homework. She could hear his voice echoing in the hallway the whole time.
Jake practically rolls across the table to get closer to her. “Can’t… tell. Been running a lot today.”
Hailey snorts. Jake pulls out the notebook Hailey gifted him while she finishes up her homework.
“I think track will probably help me,” Jake says to break the quiet of their pencils scribbling. “With my breath control. Since I have to get better stamina.”
Hailey considers it. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“I think I’ll try out in spring.”
“Starting a sport in junior year is a little silly,” Hailey says. “Don’t you also have soccer?”
“I started the music club pretty recently,” Jake says. “Why not more stuff, y’know? And… I dunno about soccer, not anymore.”
Hailey blinks. She didn’t really think about why he did soccer. It was because of Drew.
“I didn’t mean to bring that up,” Hailey blurts. “I didn’t think—”
“Hails, it’s fine. You didn’t mean to,” Jake says, but he won't meet Hailey’s eyes. “I was the one who brought up sports.”
“I’m still sorry,” Hailey says, and they pan into silence.
Hailey wants to melt into the floor. Despite all his talk, Jake’s always quick to blame himself, even for things that are definitely not his fault. Hailey’s dumb for bringing it up.
After a second, Jake nudges her leg with his foot. “Whatcha thinking about?”
Hailey leans back in her chair and tries for not freaking out. “Nothing. What about you?”
“Thinking about writing a song,” Jake says.
Hailey’s brows shoot up. “Really?”
“Yeah,” Jake says. He nudges Hailey’s leg again. Hailey smiles and kicks him back.
“A song about what?”
Jake toys with his bracelets. “Not sure. A love song, maybe?” Hailey makes a noise in the back of her throat. Jake looks up meaningfully. “Something we could perform. I feel like you wrote all of ‘Starlight.’”
“You don’t have to focus so much on the competition,” Hailey says. “It’s already done. We have a lot of things ahead of us. Plus, we’re a club for a reason.”
Jake scoffs lightheartedly and kicks at Hailey’s shin. “Take your own advice. You’re so fast to stress over everyone. It’s a group effort.”
“Sorry everyone else doesn’t take practice seriously,” Hailey mutters, because she doesn’t really know what else to say.
“Hey, don’t get weird! I think it’s nice,” Jake says. “It means you care a lot.”
Hailey feels herself flush a violent shade of pink. Jake barks out a laugh.
“Seriously! You do so much for the club,” Jake says.
“You’re stupid,” Hailey says. She kicks his leg again. “…Thanks.”
Jake shrugs. He nudges Hailey’s foot and interlocks their ankles.
Hailey returns to her work and Jake seems to be brainstorming lyrics. He’s tapping out the melody to something, brow furrowed at his songbook, when Hailey shoves her homework into her backpack.
To her remorse, Hailey ends up staring at him for a while: the gentle slope of his cheek, his focused eyes, the tilt of his brows narrowed in focus. His new jacket is a bit stiff on his shoulders as he props his chin into his hand. He’s bouncing his leg and his jeans are worn. A small puka shell bracelet adorns his wrist.
After a bit, Jake has to head home. “Sorry for dragging you here! We barely even sang,” Jake says. Hailey scoffs and smiles. They pack up in silence.
“Don’t be late for practice tomorrow,” Hailey says to Jake in the parking lot, where they split off. Jake usually goes to his truck and Hailey usually walks down the block to the bus stop.
“No promises!” Jake calls, jogging toward his parking spot.
Hailey watches Jake pull out and wave stupidly at her from his window. The sky is cloudy but it suddenly feels very hot out.
Hailey shuffles slowly to her bus stop. There are barely any cars around at this time. A squirrel scales a tree as she walks past and the sun hangs low, but not low enough to turn the sky orange.
Jake’s passionate and talented, despite everything. Hailey doesn’t know how he does it. Jake’s admitted he used to love music, but he quit. It puts a sour feeling in her mouth, thinking how he could’ve been with them so much sooner. Knowing that he was stuck with people like Drew for three years straight.
If she were him, Hailey would break down. It makes her feel a little pathetic.
Hailey takes a seat in the back of the bus, like she always does. She jams her backpack under the seat.
It’s only when the bus starts up and she’s staring out the window that Hailey realizes they were basically playing footsie back in the club room.
Hailey buries her head in her hands.
3
Hailey is mashing random buttons on Smash Bros in an attempt to beat Sean when the doorbell rings.
Zander rises from where he’s sunken into the couch lazily. “I guess I’ll get the door.”
Luke lets out a small laugh from his beanbag and Hailey scoffs.
Every month, the music club tries to have sleepovers. Jake calls it “club bonding.” He says that they should try to hang out outside of practice, but Hailey suspects he just wants to raid their fridge. Nonetheless, the sleepovers happen monthly. They usually just mess around til 4 A.M. and wake up at 12:00 P.M. It’s nice, though.
Sean is on the couch leaning all the way forward, laser focused and elbows propped on his knees. Hailey is a little terrified, which makes her forget that she’s meant to be randomly smashing buttons. When Sean wins, it’s no surprise.
Hailey tosses her controller in the general direction of the couch. “How are you so good?”
Sean shrugs, reaching his hand deep into the cavern that is the empty Pirate’s Booty bag. “I play a lot.” He pops one into his mouth.
“Guess who’s here and ready to beat all of you at Mario Kart!” A loud voice yells, and Hailey thinks it echoes. Milly tramples in with an armload of blankets and nearly trips on a couch pillow. She thinks it’s Milly, at least. Her face is covered by the blankets.
Luke turns from where he’s splayed flat like a starfish. “Why do you have so many blankets?” He asks with a cheek smooshed against his beanbag, which muffles his voice and makes it sound like gibberish.
Milly falls forward and dumps all the blankets directly onto Hailey. Hailey lets herself be smothered.
“Well,” Milly clears her throat and dusts off her hands. “My mom went fucking nuts.”
“Wow, I would’ve never noticed,” Zander says. He emerges from the hallway with Jake trailing him.
“What’s up, guys?” Jake asks, a couple more blankets in his arms. He pauses. “Where’s Hailey?”
Sean, Milly, and Luke all point to the blanket pile in sync. Zander lets out a groan.
After they dig out Hailey from Mount Blanket, Luke proposes they build a fort. That turns into a fort building competition with Milly, Hailey, and Zander against Luke, Sean, and Jake. It’s Hailey and Zander’s house and they know where the extra sheets are, so Jake is recruited to follow them around. Which turns into Milly following her teammates around as a pillow-wielding bodyguard. This means Luke and Sean are left alone with both forts, so they end up stealing pillows to complete their castle tower. Milly comes back and launches herself into the tower as revenge and accidentally flies herself into the wall. Then Mom comes down to tell everyone to quiet down, please? and their fort competition effectively comes to an end.
They all work together to combine the forts into one giant one that takes up half the living room. By the time it’s 10:00 P.M., Milly and Sean are playing Mario Kart and, by the sound of Milly’s defeated yells, Sean’s winning. Luke and Zander are in the kitchen grabbing snacks while Hailey and Jake scroll mindlessly on Netflix.
“What should we watch?” Jake whispers from his spot in the fort, snuggled into a corner and bracketed by pillows.
“Why are you whispering?” Hailey whispers, eyes trained on the T.V.
“’M tired,” he whispers back groggily. “We should watch…” Jake tries, but he’s cut off by his yawn and doesn’t continue.
Hailey angles her neck back to look at him. His face is bathed in glowy light from the T.V. His eyes are a little hazy and he looks like he’s about to knock out. Hailey smiles. His hair is splayed messily against the Squishmallow behind him. He looks really relaxed and nice and kinda handso—
“Scooch,” Zander says, snapping Hailey out of whatever the fuck that was. He nudges her with his foot.
Hailey moves without really thinking about it, face burning, which ends badly, because of course it does. She ends up shoved against Jake, who’s dead to the world, snoring. There’s a pillow between them but Hailey can vividly feel the warmth radiate off of him like a space heater.
Luke and Zander dump about thirty snacks in the middle of the fort. Milly and Sean end up migrating down after Luke turns on Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse.
Hailey steals Zander’s popcorn, which he swats her for, and Milly throws candy in the air to catch in her mouth. She accidentally hits Jake with a Skittle and he starts to stir, but he rolls over into Hailey and falls right back asleep.
Hailey doesn’t really know she falls asleep until she blinks herself awake. The first thing she feels is her arm filled with pins and needles, which is weird. Beth’s the only one who likes to roll on top of people in her sleep, and she isn’t here. Hailey cracks her eyes open and finds the movie credits paused on the T.V. She considers looking for the remote for a second, but she figures she should check why her arm is so numb first.
Hailey peeks at her side and feels her heart stop.
Jake is drooling onto a pillow, side cushioned by Hailey’s arm. His whole body is curled towards her. His hair is really messy now, twisted and sticking up in places. His lips are slightly parted. He’s snoring softly enough that Hailey wouldn’t have noticed if she weren’t touching him.
She’s touching him. Hailey’s stomach is going to explode. She can smell him a little and it’s fresh. Old Spice, maybe? God, she needs to get a grip.
Hailey lies awake for a while.
A normal person would move, but Hailey doesn’t really feel normal right now. She feels lightheaded and hot from the blankets draped over her. She’s pretty sure there’s hair in her mouth, but she can’t move to take it out. And her gut is still doing somersaults.
She doesn’t want to wake Jake, either, because he’s confessed multiple times that he’s a light sleeper. That’d be annoying and he probably wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep, Hailey logicizes. Yeah. She’ll leave him there. Yeah.
Hailey squeezes her eyes shut and tries to fall asleep.
4
The music club has a gig.
Performing in places for people isn’t new, but they’ve never really been paid to do it. Sure, the occasional charity or fundraiser or school event, but nothing too serious.
That’s why everyone’s bouncing off the walls in Mom’s car. Dad is reminiscing about his first gig and how it went terribly wrong, something about his bandmate’s drumsticks flying into the audience. Zander cuts him off mid-story because Hailey’s sure she’s turning green.
Zander nudges her shoulder. “Don’t worry, Luke has a good grip,” he says with a grin.
The gig is at a small bar and grill named Nancy’s around the corner from the mall. The owner requested they play for two hours, which is way too much for Hailey’s mind to handle.
Nancy’s was super casual, so they decided they wouldn’t need Sean and his setup. That meant tinkering with their production to depend solely on their playing and voices, no tech, which meant all of their songs have become slightly more difficult. Which means Hailey was and is insanely stressed. She spent all of last week listening to recordings of their mock performances and finding mistakes.
Sean eventually put a stop to her spiral yesterday at practice, where all she’d do was gnaw on her pencil and write a thousand notes down.
“Listen,” Sean said. “We’ve already tweaked our songs. If something happens, I’ll be there, right in the audience, in the very front. You need to focus on singing.”
Milly had nodded and grinned. “Come on, have some faith in us! We all got this. We won our last competition, after all.”
Hailey had smiled weakly. “Yeah, yeah, okay. Sorry. Let’s just practice.”
Mom backs into a parking spot behind the restaurant. Hailey’s skin crawls with nerves. When they get out, Zander pulls her into a hug immediately.
“You’re okay, okay?” he says, patting Hailey on the back.
Hailey is okay. It’s gonna be fine. They’ll do great, she tells herself as they unload Zander’s keyboard from the trunk. Nothing will go wrong, she mentally repeats while she helps Luke take his drumset inside and nearly walks into a wall. This’ll be an amazing performance, she thinks when she helps the staff set up and test the mics.
Sean comes early, too, and the manager offers the four of them a free meal. Hailey thanks god that Milly isn't there and declines before anyone else can say anything. The last time they were offered free stuff, it was merch from a diabetes charity. Milly tried to take three hoodies and a ton of hats until a volunteer stopped her. It wasn’t a very good look to be caught with a cardboard box stuffed to the brim with merchandise. Hailey had apologized profusely on the club’s behalf.
Hailey and Zander are sitting on the stage when Jake comes. It’s a small area, tucked into a corner. There’s about five empty tables turned to face them. They have the curtain shut, so the diners can’t see them.
“What’s up?” Jake says cheerily.
“The sky,” Zander says. Hailey sinks back further into herself.
“Oh,” Jake says, eyes on Hailey.
Once Milly arrives, Hailey thinks everything is going to go wrong. She doesn’t really have a reason, just a weight on her shoulders.
Everyone’s scattered about the stage, chatting casually while Milly fiddles with her acoustic guitar. They should’ve practiced an hour longer yesterday. Hailey should’ve read her already memorized lyrics over and over until they didn’t feel like real words anymore.
Everyone takes turns glancing back at Hailey every couple minutes like she’s a puppy with a broken leg. She’s just a little nervous for the performance. That’s it. Her anxiety is getting better.
While Hailey is testing her microphone for the thirtieth time, someone taps her shoulder from behind and ice travels down her spine.
“Sorry,” Jake says.
“You need to stop doing that,” Hailey says stiffly, eyes fixed on her microphone.
Jake opens his mouth to retort, looks at Hailey’s face, and promptly snaps it shut. After a second of silence, he continues: “Hailey. Everything’s gonna be fine.” His voice is soft.
Hailey shifts foot to foot. “You don’t know that.”
“Of course I do. We practiced each song half a million times,” Jake says. “I’m pretty sure Luke can play his parts with his eyes closed, at this point.”
Hailey turns Milly’s words around in her head. Come on, have some faith in us! She does have faith. She just can’t help overthinking. Do they think that she thinks that they’re incapable?
“It’s not that I think you guys can’t do it,” Hailey blurts.
Jake makes a face like that’s never even crossed his mind. “What? Duh, obviously. I know that! We all know that.”
Hailey’s eyes scan over everyone again and she takes in a deep breath. Then another. “Okay,” she says.
“We’re gonna do amazing,” Jake says.
“Okay,” Hailey says again.
Jake narrows his eyes, like he knows Hailey doesn’t believe it. He takes a step closer and grabs her arm. “It’s just like I always say, okay? If you get nervous, just look at me.”
Hailey flushes. “Okay, okay, I get it! You can let go of me.”
“Oh! My bad,” Jake says, jumping back three steps, at the exact same time Zander pushes back the curtain and steps onto the stage. Hailey hadn’t realized he left.
“They said they want us ready in 5,” Zander says. Hailey knows she looks as red as she feels because Zander sends her an odd look.
“Bring it on!” Milly yells loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear.
The performance goes well. They ease into a lazy rhythm after a couple of songs, and even Hailey thinks this is the least stressed she’s ever been onstage. The fact that they’re at a restaurant helps, she guesses. Nobody’s really here for entertainment—they’re here to eat. Only a handful of people are paying attention. Hailey pretty much forgets why she was worried whenever she looks at Jake, the happiest person alive, anyway. He’s smiling like a psycho the whole time.
After their last song, some people clap softly and whistle. Hailey helps Zander take apart his keyboard and carries a drum to Luke’s mom’s car. The three of them are loitering in the parking lot when Zander says to Hailey:
“Told ya, you were gonna be fine.”
Hailey rolls her eyes and kicks a rock. She watches it skitter across the asphalt. “Yeah, yeah, I stressed out for no reason. What’s new?”
“You did good, though,” Luke says, sincere. “I’m glad you’re starting to like audiences.”
Zander nods. “You’ve come far, little sis,” he teases, ruffling her hair. Hailey swats him away with a groan. She’s a month older than him.
She has come far, though. Hailey thinks of herself in middle school, fear-ridden and terrified of the stage. Younger Hailey would be ecstatic to see where she is now, onstage with passionate friends beside her. She’s making it out.
The wind outside blows Hailey’s hair around in a whirlpool. The sun creeps down the horizon in orangey purplish hues and washes over them. Their shadows are long and skinny against the ground. A few cars pass on the street behind them, engines murmuring.
The quiet is interrupted by a loud text notification. Hailey grabs her phone.
Jake to The Music Clubbbb!! now
Guyss guys
Come back inside
“Oh god,” Zander says from where he’s peeking over Hailey’s shoulder.
They shuffle single-file into the restaurant, which is now filled to the brim with people. Voices fill every nook and cranny. Luke spots everyone in a booth and drags Hailey and Zander to the table.
“Guys!” Milly yells. “Guess what? Our food is free!”
Hailey rolls her eyes as she slides into the booth next to Jake. “Don’t order twenty things, please,” she says. So much for declining earlier.
“I won’t!”
“Mil, stop yelling,” Luke says, glancing at the tables around them.
Zander snickers. “Yeah, Millicent, don’t get us kicked out.” Milly shoves him and he lets out a yelp.
Luke puts his elbows on the table and leans forward, ignoring Milly and Zander arguing. “So, Sean, what’d you think?”
“You guys did good,” Sean says. “It’s cool to see you guys perform. I’ve never watched from the audience before.”
“It was so weird without you, though!” Jake says.
Sean shrugs and drags his fry through the ketchup. “You guys gotta get used to it. After all, I’m graduating soon.”
Jake lets out a sad whine. Hailey smiles. “Don’t run off, now. We still have dibs on you for the next couple months.”
Sean laughs. It’s better to make light of his graduation now and to cry later. Hailey’s happy for him, too. He got into Berklee, which they all screamed about together in the music room, but he’s going to University of Washington because he got a scholarship and financial aid is practically voiding everything else. “I wanna go somewhere new,” Sean had said when Hailey asked him why he didn’t just stay home. Hailey thinks that’s understandable.
When the waiter comes to take their orders, Hailey has to talk Milly and Jake out of lying about it being Luke’s birthday. The table next to them had a birthday and got a cupcake with a giant candle.
The meal passes with casual chatter, except when Zander and Milly argue again and knock over a glass of Sprite. They wipe it up and shove all the sopping wet napkins to the middle of their table, which forms a giant pile.
Milly and Hailey are sharing a giant vanilla milkshake and Luke’s picking at the remains of his salad when Jake suddenly says, “What do you think they’re doing over there?”
Jake’s pointing to the stage. They’re dragging up a cart filled with equipment and messing with the microphones. It looks like they took down the blue curtain a while ago and replaced it with a rolling whiteboard.
“We should go check it out,” Sean says.
“I’ll come too, then,” Zander says.
“Me too,” Jake and Milly say in unison.
“I don’t think everyone should go,” Hailey says uncertainly, but they’re already shuffling out of the booth.
“See ya,” Luke says, and Jake sends him finger guns as he walks off.
Hailey watches them disappear into the sea of crowded tables and waiters balancing steaming hot plates.
Once they’re out of earshot, Luke immediately turns to Hailey with a serious look in his eyes. “Did you and Jake have an argument?”
Hailey blinks. “What?”
Luke leans forward. “You heard me.”
“Did… did you plan this?” Hailey stammers. If Milly and Sean know, she’s screwed.
“No,” Luke says. “Jake’s been acting weird around you lately.” He looks side to side. “Zander told me to ask.”
“Weird?” Hailey says, voice high.
“Yeah, and… you, too,” Luke says, like it’s obvious.
Zander noticed, and now Luke! Fuck her, seriously. She wants to slam her head onto the table.
“Weird how?” Hailey asks, but Jake and Zander are coming back, so she zips her mouth, locks it, and throws away the key.
“So, what’s up over there?” Luke asks like nothing happened. Hailey wants to kick him under the table.
Jake’s face is alight. “They’re setting up karaoke!”
“Really?” Luke asks.
“Where’s Sean and Milly?” Hailey interrupts, peeking out of the booth. They’re nowhere to be found.
“They got stuck talking to the manager,” Zander says. “He said thanks for our immaculate performance. And that we should lie about it being Luke’s birthday.”
“He did not fucking say that,” Luke says.
Zander bumps into Luke as he’s getting back into the booth. “I’m trying to convince Hailey, shh.”
“I’m right here,” Hailey says before taking a sip of the milkshake.
Jake scoots in next to her. “Is it good?”
Hailey shrugs and turns toward him. “Just a milkshake.”
Jake leans in. “Can I try?”
Hailey slides the cup toward him wordlessly. See, she’s not acting weird. They’re both being normal. Hailey has no idea what Luke is talking about.
Jake ends up drinking the rest of the milkshake and when Milly returns, she orders another one with a loud, dramatic sigh. People are starting to crowd around the stage. When they finally dim the lights in the restaurant, the first person goes on: a girl in her 20’s with long, flowy braids who sings “Into You.” Her voice is nice and clear and her friends cheer when she finishes.
Jake nudges Hailey. “D’ya wanna do karaoke?”
“Nah, it’s okay,” Hailey says, the same time Milly yells “Fuck yes!”
After a second of arguing, Hailey, Sean, and Zander stay at their table while the other three go to sign up for the waitlist. Milly keeps looking back at them and holding a thumb up.
“What do you think they’re gonna sing?” Sean asks after a guy in his 40’s finishes “Anaconda.”
“Something bad,” Zander says, squinting at Luke, who’s talking animatedly with Jake.
Hailey snorts.
They end up singing “Poker Face.” The three of them sing the whole thing in sync, except when Milly takes the stage and spits “p-p-p-poker face” into the mic. When they finish, Zander says, “Told you it was gonna be bad.”
After that, the band takes turns rotating through the karaoke stage alongside a handful of other people. Zander sings “Heart Attack” and hits none of the notes, Milly and Sean do “Beauty And A Beat,” and Jake even sings Bruno Mars.
“You don’t wanna sing?” Zander asks, leaning into Hailey’s shoulder. He’s back from a duet with Luke.
The thought of sounding like an idiot in front of a room of people makes Hailey’s skin crawl. She knows that, logically, nobody cares, but the thought of it happening in itself makes her stomach churn.
Hailey sends him an apologetic smile. “Yeah, I’ve performed enough for one day.”
Zander snickers. “Tell that to Jake,” he says, lifting his chin toward the stage, where Sean and Jake are singing “Fergalicious.” “He’s been trying to get us to talk you into it.”
Hailey feels her face prickle with heat. “Of course he is,” she says.
Zander looks amused. Hailey briefly considers bringing up her conversation with Luke earlier, just to get at him, but all that’ll do is incriminate her more. She leans into the booth and crosses her arms.
Luke comes to grab Zander at 8:30 to head home together. Hailey chicken legs him on his way out. Milly has to leave a second after, so Jake offers to drive Sean home.
Then the restaurant winds down: there’s only four tables left, including theirs, and they’ve started sweeping the floors. Hailey burrows herself deeper into her hoodie. She’s blinded by her phone screen when she checks the time. 9:00. She feels like she’s about to knock out.
Karaoke’s ended by now. Sean and Jake have been pulled aside by a group of gushing old ladies, so Hailey’s left alone. Bored, she watches Modern Family on one of the bar T.V.s. Hailey feels a sliver of guilt because she’s been camping the table for hours, but the waiters don’t seem to care. They come by every once in a while to ask if Hailey needs anything. She ends up ordering a basket of mozzarella sticks out of shame.
Hailey’s gnawing on a cold mozzarella stick when Jake walks up to the table.
“Sean wants you to hold his jacket,” Jake says, placing it carefully onto the booth seat.
Hailey hums in response. “You got away from the old ladies?”
Jake laughs tiredly. “Somehow,” he says.
Hailey looks back up to Modern Family. Jake slides into the booth.
Whenever Jake is near you, you can feel him. Maybe it’s because he’s so easygoing, or maybe because he’s so solid and supportive. Either way, Hailey thinks it’s comforting. It eases her tense shoulders and surrounds her like a hug. Hailey can feel Jake’s presence float around her like she’s submerged in an ocean.
It’s kinda weird, because Hailey’s not like this with anyone else. She doesn’t know what’s happening to her.
Hailey’s staring at an employee sweeping across the restaurant when she feels something warm touch her hand.
The pads of Jake’s fingers trace over Hailey’s knuckles. His hand is warm and Hailey feels embarrassed because hers are probably freezing cold. She’s also embarrassed because, holy shit, they’re holding hands. Hailey’s stomach does a flip. And then five more. She feels heat shoot to her cheeks.
They’re holding hands. Did he mean to do that? You can’t hold someone’s hand on accident, that’s not a thing. Is it? Either way, Hailey’s frozen in place.
Jake’s grip tightens. Definitely not an accident. Hailey’s eyes stray to his face.
Jake’s lying on the table, cheek pressed against his arm. His hood is pulled halfway over his head. His face looks red. “Are you okay?”
Hailey’s mouth goes dry. She whips her head away immediately. “Yes!”
Jake squeezes her hand but loosens his grip. Hailey’s hit with a stab of panic and squeezes back automatically like an idiot, because she doesn’t want him to let go.
If Jake’s presence is an ocean, Hailey’s probably drowning. Her whole body feels hot. She wonders if her palm is sweaty and if Jake can feel it, and if he does, if he thinks it's weird.
She can feel the metal of his rings, which are warm from their combined body heat. She presses her thumb onto one and traces the pattern of it.
Obviously Jake doesn’t mean anything by this. Hailey feels a little guilty knowing she’s getting a little pleasure out of it, because he has no idea. Nonetheless, she sinks into the booth again and tries to pretend she’s totally fine.
Hailey and Jake are both watching T.V., nearly passed out, when Sean returns.
“Can we go now?” he asks, shrugging his jacket on. He looks wrung out.
“Yeah,” Hailey says. She shuts her eyes hard and opens them to wake herself up. And to ground herself in reality, just a bit. “Let’s go.”
Her hand slips out of Jake’s when he stands up, and that seems to snap both of them fully awake. Hailey really hopes Sean didn’t see their interlocked hands.
The parking lot is cold and the wind is crisp against Hailey’s cheeks. Light poles flood yellowy rays onto the ground in patches.
The car ride is bumpy and quiet. Sean insists on being dropped off next to Milliot Mart instead of his house, which Jake sounds increasingly worried about.
“Text the group chat when you get home!” Jake calls from his window as Sean disappears down the sidewalk.
Hailey’s half asleep when Jake stops in front of her driveway.
“Thanks for driving me,” she says around a yawn. The night is heavy.
“No problem,” Jake says, voice raw.
Hailey stumbles inside of the house and kicks off her sneakers. She trips up the stairs and falls into her bed and buries her face in her pillow. Her last thought before falling asleep is how fucked she probably is tomorrow.
5
Hailey’s noticing things about Jake, the same way Zander and Luke have been noticing.
“Thanks for helping me,” Jake says. Hailey looks up to send him a smile, but he’s already looking at her.
For one, Jake has a staring problem. Hailey can’t recall if this has always been a thing, but she’s just noticing it now. Hailey’ll always catch him staring at her across the classroom (where he sends her a grin and looks away) or studying her while she plays her guitar at practice. It makes her skin crawl and neck burn.
Hailey throws a picnic blanket over her shoulder and grabs a paper grocery bag. Jake locks his truck and they journey to the picnic table, where Luke is perched. The club is at the park to watch the sunset.
“Luke, can you run to my truck and grab the cardboard from the back, pleeeasee?” Jake asks as he dumps a pile of snacks onto the table. Half of them fall on the grass.
“Sure,” Luke says and jogs off. Hailey watches his figure recede.
Hailey can be normal with Jake. She knows she can, because she was! For a while. Zander and Luke noticing threw her off a little, sure, but now Jake’s… being more Jake, and it’s making everything worse.
“So—”
“Let’s—”
“Sorry,” Jake says immediately, shoulders stiff. “You go!”
Hailey looks away. “Let’s set up,” she says, and thanks god Jake doesn’t say anything else.
Sue Hailey because she doesn’t want intense one-on-one conversation time with Jake Sterling. It’s Jake. She wants to slam her head into a wall.
They unpack silently. Which means Hailey lays out the picnic blanket and Jake launches all the snacks onto it. Hailey’s straightening the last corner when a bag of Nerds Gummy Clusters hit her square in the face.
“Oooohh…” Jake says. “Sorry!”
“It’s fine,” Hailey assures.
Hailey’s fixing her hair when a yell echoes through the park. Her and Jake whip to look at the same time. Hailey feels relief flood through her. She has a distraction from her reeling mind. The yelling’s coming from the playground, so the two of them jog over.
Milly is the one screaming and she’s hanging upside down from the monkey bars. Sean is recording from his spot below her.
“Sean, you better fucking help me right now!” Milly yells.
Sean laughs. “You got yourself there in the first place.”
“Milly!” Hailey shouts. “I told you to stop doing that!”
“Shut up, Mom!” Milly crosses both of her arms. “I was just climbing!”
Jake laughs. Zander’s whirling 300 miles per hour on the merry-go-round next to him.
“Hailey? Jake? Is that you? I can’t see,” Zander says between spins.
“Sean, you should get Zander in your shot,” Hailey says. Zander lets out a yell of frustration.
“Who’s ready to sled?” Luke interrupts. He’s back and holding up a giant refrigerator box.
Milly’s face lights up and she, distracted, falls from the monkey bars. “Send me that video,” she manages, crumpled in a heap on the floor. Sean laughs.
It takes all five of them to stop the merry-go-round. Once Zander stands up, it takes him nearly ten minutes to balance normally again.
“You should’ve gotten me out sooner!” Zander says, stumbling. They’re walking up a steep hill that Luke deemed the “perfect sledding spot.”
“Too bad,” Hailey says.
“You got sea legs,” Luke says. Zander swats him.
“Hurry up!” Milly yells from beside the tree, waving the cardboard around like a maniac.
“Don’t rush me!” Zander shouts.
Once everyone makes it to the top, everyone rotates using their makeshift sled.
Milly’s first: she grabs the box and tries to surf down the hill. She trips first thing and eats shit. Sean bursts out laughing so hard he has to sit down.
Jake sends himself launching down the hill and tilts to the side, which makes him whirl in circles. At the bottom, he launches side-first and lands with the box on top of him.
Hailey and Sean go on together. Hailey feels the breeze whip against her cheeks. They come to a slow stop beside a mud patch.
Hailey turns around in time to see Sean spitting something teal out. “You got hair in my mouth,” he says.
Next, Luke and Zander go together, because Luke is a cardboard sledding expert. Zander screams the whole way down.
Then Milly, Jake, Sean, and Luke pile on and try to go down together. Sean’s in the back and he flies off immediately. Luke’s off next, and he tumbles down the hill, rolling. Milly and Jake make it to the bottom, but they hit a rock and split the cardboard in half.
“You broke it!” Zander calls, sitting against a tree at the top of the hill.
“Zander? Thanks for saying that,” Hailey says from her spot beside him. “I didn’t notice.”
Zander kicks her in the side.
While Milly complains about their wrecked sled, Luke examines the damage. He grabs the bigger half of cardboard for himself, so Jake grabs the other and insists they race. Sean and Zander draw a giant competition bracket with a stick in the dirt. Unsurprisingly, Luke wins it all.
Zander grabs Luke by the shoulder with a dark expression. “We’re teaming up. I’m not losing next time.”
“Don’t make me lose,” Luke says jokingly.
Zander doesn’t. Sean and Milly lose brutally against the two. Halfway down the hill, Milly tilts them too far to the left and knocks Sean off their sled.
Zander whoops in victory.
Hailey looks dead at Jake. “We’re beating them.”
Jake grins. “Of course we are.”
Jake’s whispering the plan in her ear when Zander yells, “Hey! What do you think you’re doing over there?”
Jake turns bright red. “Nothing!”
“We’re talking about how we’re gonna beat your asses,” Hailey says.
“You’re on!” Luke says.
Hailey and Jake take the smaller sled because Zander insists he and Luke get the bigger one. Hailey goes in the front so Jake can steer. She has to press her back against him to fit, which makes her whole body feel light. His knees encircle her. She can feel the rise and fall of his chest.
“Okay, don’t forget the plan,” Jake says into her ear.
Hailey tries not to shiver. “Mhm.”
“I’m doing the countdown!” Milly interrupts, practically jumping up and down.
“Sure,” Sean says. He’s rubbing furiously at a spot of mud on his hoodie.
Luke and Zander scoot up to align with Hailey and Jake. “You’re going down,” Zander says to Hailey.
“Whatever you say,” Hailey says, trying not to pay attention to the feeling of Jake’s breath against her neck.
Milly takes a deep breath. “Threeeee… twooooooo…”
Sean starts to drumroll against his legs.
“One!” Milly yells. “Go, go, go, gogogogo!”
Hailey uses her legs to launch them and they both lean forward. Luke and Zander barrel past them. Jake’s legs squeeze around her.
“Lean! Lean!” Jake yells.
“I am!” Hailey yells back.
Wind whips at Hailey’s face. They’re gaining on Zander and Luke. When their sleds align, Jake yells “Tuuurn!”
Hailey puts all her body weight to the right. They slam into Zander and Luke. Zander lets out a yell of surprise and their sled flips. The cardboard tumbles down the hill, but Hailey can’t see where it goes, because her and Jake are spinning.
Jake digs both of his heels into the dirt in an attempt to center them, and it takes Hailey a second to realize they’re sledding sideways. But they’re winning—they’re still sledding. A laugh rips out of Hailey’s throat.
When they hit the bottom, both of them go flying off the sled. They land in a tangle of arms and legs. Hailey spots mud smeared across Jake’s back.
“Ow,” Jake says, wiggling. Hailey feels a knee collide with her stomach.
“Jake!” Hailey says, and Jake freezes. The only thing she hears is their labored breathing.
Hailey feels an arm pressed against her head and a foot against her shin. Jake’s skin is like a fucking furnace.
“We won,” Jake says after a moment, breathless.
“Yeah,” Hailey says, squinting up. Whispy clouds twirl across the sky. She turns her head towards the general direction of Jake’s and meets his eyes. He’s smiling a small, private smile. Her face burns.
Hailey’s not dumb. She knows she likes Jake, after two months of deluding herself. Sometimes, she lies in bed at night and stares at the ceiling, wondering how Jake’s reeled her so far in. It makes her stomach swoop, like it is now.
“Stop harassing my sister!” A voice interrupts. Hailey thinks she’s going to kill Zander one day.
“Wh.. What?! I’m not!” Jake says, scrambling upright. His elbow meets Hailey’s face. “I swear!”
“Jake, stop moving,” Hailey says, grimacing.
Jake doesn’t listen. He quickly untangles himself and deals five more blows to Hailey in the process. She groans as she props herself up. Her cheek throbs.
Jake starts, “Hailey,” but then he blanches.
“What?” Hailey asks, scrubbing a hand over her face.
Hailey hears quick footsteps and a gasp. “Jake!” Milly says.
“What? What happened?” Hailey asks again.
“Jake, did you just punch her?” Zander yells.
“No! No, no, I swear I didn’t,” Jake says, hands up in defense.
Sean kneels and pats Hailey’s shoulder like she’s a lost kid. “Your cheek is bright red.”
“Oh my god,” Hailey says.
“Jake beat Hailey uppp!” Milly calls. Hailey swears she sees birds fly off of the trees nearby.
Zander tries to carry Hailey back to the picnic table, which she slaps him on the back of the head for. “Put me down!”
“But you’re hurt!”
“I didn’t get hit by a car,” Hailey says, marching toward the picnic table.
“Haileyyy,” Jake says once Hailey sits, holding something out to her. “I’m sorry!”
“Jake, it’s fine.” Hailey laughs, reaching out. It’s an instant cold pack. She opens her mouth to question him, but Jake cuts her off:
“I keep some in my glovebox.”
So Hailey holds Jake’s glovebox’s instant cold pack to her cheek for 20 minutes as the sun creeps down the horizon. Milly and Luke play Speed on the blanket beside Hailey, who’s talking to Sean.
“You’ll come visit, right?” Hailey asks, popping a Cheeto in her mouth.
Sean winces, but he says, “Of course.”
Hailey frowns. “You don’t wanna?”
“No, I do! I do. I wanna see you guys,” Sean says, stretching his arms out. “The thing is, I might not have the money for it.”
“We can always drive and meet you in the middle,” Jake butts in.
“That’s a stupid idea,” Zander says from where his cheek is cushioned against a pillow made of Luke's jacket. “But I’d be willing to do it.”
Sean shrugs. “We’ll see what happens.”
“Speed! Speed!” Milly yells.
“You don’t have to say ‘Speed,’” Luke says over a mouthful of Corn Nuts.
“Yeah, but I want everyone to know I won!”
The sun sets with a flourish. The blue wavers, overtaken by orangey-red hues mixed with a river of pink clouds. Every once in a while, a flock of birds float by lazily, chirping. A squirrel keeps trying to drag away Zander’s bag of peanuts whenever he’s not looking.
“Sorry for punching you,” Jake says in a low voice, eyes to the sun. They’re squished side-to-side. His face is bathed in honey-colored sunlight.
“For the record, it was your elbow,” Hailey says.
“Sorry for elbowing you.”
Hailey breathes a laugh, sinking back on her elbows. “Apology accepted, for the thousandth time.”
Jake laughs softly. Hailey can watch him, because he’s occupied with admiring the view.
His lips are curled into a delicate smile, the one from earlier that he reserves for when he’s really happy. The corners of his eyes are crinkled and the dark shadow of his lashes dip down onto his cheeks.
Jake’s gaze flickers to Hailey, eyes big and brown and shining.
Hailey whips her head away. They always do this. They dance around each other, but Hailey always has to go and step on Jake’s foot and get him tangled in all her complicated feelings.
Hailey desperately wants everything to end, because she hates being awkward around Jake. She hates that, sometimes, she feels like Jake can see right through her. It makes her want to kick herself. It makes her want to wrap her arms around his waist and pull him close.
It makes her want to squeeze her eyes shut and pretend there’s nothing there.