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The boy standing above him in his nightmares was like a twisted figure couldn't have been Suo. His smile was gone and a blinding white light, small yet powerful and piercing, replaced the warm, brown eye that Nirei knew so well. At first, he was shrouded in shadow, the coat that went down to his ankles billowing like an oppressive force as Nirei could practically smell the grass and feel the hard, cold ground that he was lying on. His hand was gripping the hem of his pants but Suo merely looked down at him as if he was some sort of bug. The shadows melted and Suo's face fell off, the lips of that face, that mask, were sewn together, the brown eye bounced across the floor, fixing him in a dead gaze and when Nirei looked up, he could smell the putrid rotting flesh of something dead as maggots crawled around jovially on muscle that was black and withered, feasting in an avaricious manner and hiding in the gaping cavity that used to be Suo's mouth but now its teeth were crooked and decaying and bleeding. It leaned forward, shiny segmented leeches sliding from its ears onto the ground, fat with its blood as Nirei felt himself freeze in horror, helpless to stop Suo the monster from getting closer. A laugh. A deep laugh, unnatural, too many layers, coming from its chasm of a mouth with no movement. Some blood flecked up out of its throat onto his face with a gurgling sound and then a hiss "You're such a crybaby," it said. Then from somewhere else in Nirei's mind, it echoed.
You're such a crybaby
You're such a crybaby
We aren't anything
You're such a crybaby
You're always like this
We aren't anything
Always pissed me off
Always such a crybaby
He sat up with a start and his breaths immediately came in short gasps as he desperately tried to free his legs from the blankets that were now tangled around them in his likely thrashing. Rubbing a hand over his face, a snapshot of the monster flashed in his eyes and he gasped again. He felt like its hands were around his throat, squeezing hard until he felt like he was going to faint. He could already feel the coldness of rigor mortis settling into his bones. He was already dead. He knew that tips he'd been given in the past but all of that seemed to melt in the face of the lurking enemy he couldn't even see. Fumbling for the switch of the lamp next to his bed. His bedroom lit up, safe and comforting but this comfort was lingering and fragile. Nirei practically launched himself from his bed, heading to the trash can in his room where he threw up until there was only spit coming out.
His picked his phone with shaking hands and sent another text to Suo through the laboured breathing. It was the only thing he could think about doing. He knew his desperate words would go unread but maybe, just maybe, it could get through to whatever was left of the cheerful Suo he knew. Halfway through, he simply let the phone drop to the floor. What was the point? Suo would never reply. He was right. He was a crybaby because all Nirei could think to do, in his sweat-soaked shirt, tangled blankets, sour taste in his mouth, was sob into his hands. He tasted the saltiness of his tears, mixing unpleasantly with the sourness. "Screw you Suo." he whispered to no one in particular, his voice hoarse.
He couldn't help but feel that Suo had just got sick and tired of him. What kind of Bofurin member needs to be protected in a fight? What kind of Bofurin member only knows one pathetic move? What kind of Bofurin member was useless? Was he even a real Bofurin member if they were all...better...off...without...him? He had nothing to offer aside from a stupid notebook. No wonder Suo had left. Did he even have a right to feel angry about it? Suo had simply left when he had the chance. His phone lit up, Tsuguera sending some dumb meme in the group chat. Nirei started typing a message but deleted it before he could finish writing it. There were bigger things to worry about than him. It was selfish of him to say anything. He was fine. He was always fine. He left his phone where it was, feeling the post-panic attack exhaustion set in.