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Megumi shot up from his bed with a scream. He was breathing heavily, a cold sweat coating his newly awakened body. Calm down, calm down, he chanted in his mind, trying not to “burden” anyone else with his nightmares. They weren’t new, of course, he had at least one every single night. This time, however, it was… different. They all had the same premise, but this time it was crueler. He was in a plain room, alone with nothing to do. That part was the same, but then he started hearing someone’s voice. It repeated things like “It’s your fault I’m like this,” and “If only you could save me”. At first he was confused, who could this person possibly be and what were they talking about? After listening closer he could finally tell who it was.
“Tsumiki?” he whispered, unsure if he was correct, though deep down he knew that it had to be.
The voice spoke again, harsher this time, “Who else could I be? Who else have you failed so horribly? Oh, of course! Satoru, Yuuji, Nobara, the list goes on and on, doesn’t it?”
“No… I didn’t fail them…” he tried to convince himself, not lingering on the use of first names.
“Yes you did! Because you’re so weak.” Tsumiki added emphasis on the last word, making sure that her statement would stay in his mind even after he awoke. Then, her voice began to echo until it only repeated her last word. His breathing became more labored as the room started to shrink. That’s when he woke up. It’s safe to say he wasn’t going back to sleep. For now though his only focus was easing his breathing. Deep breaths, in and out, he reminded himself. He’d done this before, but for some reason, even after calming down, he still felt on edge. Sitting there for a bit, he inhaled and exhaled to no avail.
He started thinking about the nightmare again. Well, that’s speaking as if he ever stopped. Sitting in the dark of his room, he wondered if what Tsumiki said was true. No, that’s not quite right either. He didn’t wonder, he knew. Though it seems a little selfish to decide such a thing for himself, that’s what he believed. That word, selfish. Everything about him was selfish, wasn’t it? His attitude, personality, why he saved people, his thought process, how he was around Itadori, Kugisaki, everyone. Even, no, especially Gojo. We’re a bit off topic now, though, aren’t we? Back to Megumi’s current situation, he thought about what Tsumiki said. He thought about how true it was. How could something so selfish not be true to him? Suddenly, his crying (when did that start?) was interrupted by knocking at his door.
“Gumi? I heard a scream, I’m coming in.” Megumi’s eyes widened in horror as he realized who was standing outside his room. The door creaked open and soon Megumi was staring directly at his teacher’s face.
“Oh Megumi…” His eyes softened, crinkling at the edges, a frown present on his face. He walked toward the crying boy and slid down next to him on the bed. Megumi sat frozen in shock until Gojo spoke up, “What happened?”
He wondered if he should answer the question honestly or not. “I, uh, it-it’s nothing.” He decided on the latter of the two. Somewhere along the way, the tears had stopped. Almost like his body knew that he shouldn’t cry in front of others. “Don’t, uhm, don't worry about me,” Megumi choked out the words, clearly lying to himself. Gojo didn’t believe him either as his brows furrowed and his frown deepened. “Please…” his plea was a whisper, almost a breath. He squeezed his eyes shut, convinced that if he opened them he wouldn’t be able to stop the tears that would follow. Convinced that if he had to look at his teacher's pitiful expression he would confess everything. Confess that this wasn’t the first time he’d woken up in the middle of the night, that he felt Tsumiki’s sickness was his fault, that he needed someone. And the worst part? He thought that needing someone was worse than the other things mentioned. He believed that he didn’t deserve to need someone whether he wanted to or not. He believed that, only when he did it, loving someone was selfish. However, he couldn’t believe that others loving him was selfish, no, he couldn’t describe anyone else with such a word. Which, now that he thinks about it, is sort of selfish, too.
“Megumi, honey…” The typical joking tone that occupied his voice had left his mind the second he heard that scream. “It’s my job to worry about you, now did you have a nightmare?” He sounded trusting and Megumi could almost tell him. Then, he realized something. If he told Gojo here and now, he would either make fun of him or comfort him. Obviously, being who he was, Megumi figured it’d be the first one and decided that he’d rather have Gojo judge him now rather than later. He took a deep breath and gulped before answering.
“Yeah. I did.” He nodded. “You can go ahead and say it.”
“Do you want to tell me what it was about?” Gojo asked, not processing the last part of Megumi’s statement. “Wait, what do you mean?”
“You can go ahead and say it,” he said again, slower this time. He was close to looking up at Gojo, but he kept his eyes elsewhere. “I figured you would, anyway. Y’know it’s not exactly news to me.” He answered as if it was clear what the other man was meant to say. Like he’d been expecting it. Which, if we’re being honest, he was.
“What? What can I go ahead and say?” He was genuinely curious and his voice had a confused undertone that you almost never hear from him.
Megumi kept his head down, staring at the blankets as he had been the whole time. He mumbled out a response that was too quiet for Gojo to hear.
“What was that?”
“I said that you can call me weak. I know you want to and I’d rather you say it now than convince me you care and say it later. It’s not surprising to me anyway…” Megumi muttered the last part, but Gojo heard it. He still hadn’t lifted his head, so he was unable to see the expression that had taken on Gojo’s face. He pulled his legs up so he could wrap his arms around them and rested his head in between his knees, facing the door. His feet pressed into the mattress, making sure that he stayed exactly where he was. The older boy’s eyes had never left him as he moved around on the bed. Gojo’s first thought after seeing him do this motion was that he looked like a little kid again. When he was younger and much smaller he used to do this all the time. Whenever he was uncomfortable, bored, sad, or angry, he would pull this pose.
Old habits die hard, Satoru thought.
After the silence, in Megumi’s opinion, was lasting too long for who was sitting next to him, he turned his head to the left to make sure he hadn’t fallen asleep. The second he turned his head to look he was wrapped in a hug. Eyes wide open, he sat there stiff while strong arms embraced him. After a second of sitting there motionless, Megumi started crying. Full on sobs that shook his whole body. Gojo’s grip just tightened while he let the boy get it all out. As tears rolled down his face, his hands reached around to hold on to Gojo. He never wanted to let go. His hands dug into the other’s shirt and back.
“Dad… it hurts…” His voice was weak as he got the words out between sobs.
“Shhh, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Gojo soothed, “I’m here, I promise.” Slowly but surely his sound got quieter until all that could be heard were breaths and sniffles. One hand rubbed circles on Megumi’s back while his other continued to hold him. He waited a minute longer, savoring this moment.
“Are you okay now, Megs?” He asked, his voice quiet. He got no response.
“Megs?” Moving his torso away from the embrace to look into the younger boy’s eyes, he saw that he was fast asleep. His eyes, though slightly red and puffy, lay peacefully closed with his eyelashes nearly dusting his cheeks. A trail of dried tears could be seen resting on the light blush that danced across his face. His mouth was slightly open to allow air through and, though it wasn’t very noticeable, you could even see his lips quirking up at the corners. His features finally soft and content, he truly looked how young he was. Harsh features smoothed out to form a picture that could only be described as ethereal. Gojo, very carefully, began to move both himself and the sleeping boy, though he was mainly moving the other. After he was sure that Megumi was sleeping and comfortable, he started to get off the bed. He was stopped by a hand holding onto his shirt. Startled, he looked back to see the younger, still asleep but now his brows were furrowed and he seemed a little troubled.
“D-don’t go…” It was merely a whisper, barely audible if you weren’t listening. His voice wavered slightly as if he were about to cry subconsciously. Knowing he couldn’t just leave now, Gojo decided to stay. Getting under the covers, he kissed Megumi’s forehead.
“Ok, Gumi.” The other didn’t hear him but the arms that now wrapped around his waist were enough response for him. They could talk about everything tomorrow, but for now this was all they needed.
(Extra)
The next morning when Itadori and Kugisaki get back from their mission and go to wake Megumi, they would find the latter cuddling with their teacher. Instead of waking them up, Kugisaki would take pictures for blackmail and Itadori would gush about how cute it was. Kugisaki would try to make Yuuji quieter unsuccessfully which would lead to Gojo waking up. After telling them to get out (and telling Kugisaki to send him those pictures), he’d wake up Megumi and the day would go as usual. The only exception was the teasing Megumi got from his friends and the talk that he and Gojo would soon have.