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Bobby lost count of the days.
He remembered being in the lab some times. Other moments were just flashes of sparking lights and a blue-tinted room. But mostly, he remembered what came after: the multitude of injections and blood tests, blurred faces and hazmat suits covering low, technical voices.
"Subject 81068 status: stable."
"Mark it down— Subject 81068 reaction to test 023: hives along the cervical and brachial regions. Hives are red and vary from .50 to 1 centimeters in diameter."
"Subject's blood type is compatible."
Cold chills constantly thrummed through his veins. He could never keep his eyes open for too long, exhaustion clawing at him from every side.
"Subject 81068 reaction to test 074: positive. Proteins are neutralizing antibodies."
"Subject 81068's memory: feeble."
Some moments— because he hadn't felt the sun in so long, and up was down and night was day— relieved his brain. Memories maybe, that caused a little warmth to spread from his chest all the way to his toes.
A dark-skinned police officer, passionately fierce and kind. Bobby would see her smile stretch wide, sometimes feel her hand tightly clasped in his. If he focused hard enough, sometimes he could imagine his thumb brushing over her wedding ring and hear her laugh echo through his ears.
Other times he saw a younger man. It almost freaked Bobby out, how much they looked alike. He knew it wasn't Bobby Jr. but there was a similar slouch of the nose and a crooked smile, and he could see them standing side by side, postures perfectly mimicked in matching uniforms. He saw them in the kitchen a lot. Made his mouth water from the faint aromas of fresh meals— has he eaten? When did he eat?
But that man. Bobby knew he knew him. He knew he…meant something to him.
But he also doubted he'd ever be able to figure it out— until, that is, wherever he had been kept, well, it finally got broken into.
Bobby had lost count of the days, but he would never forget the the sounds of gunfire and shouts of surprise. A raging siren filled the room. The white lights snapped dark right as he received a clear dose of something that always made his skin itch and the corner of his eyes burn. Scientists around him scrambled, barking orders under flashing red lights, haphazardly trying to grab flying paperwork and shut down the computers connected to the wires and patches on his chest.
Soldiers kicked the lab doors in. Covered head to toe in black protective gear with poised weapons in hand, they surrounded every inch. They forced the scientists to the ground, creating room for two more agents to come inside, wearing bullet proof vests and gold badges around their neck.
One agent, the female with pinned-back hair, cast her eyes around the lab. She inhaled sharply at the sight of Bobby on the thin bed, fighting to stay awake against the pressure on his eyelids.
"Dear god," her partner, a male with short, brown hair, muttered with a shake of his head. He turned to his radio and informed, "We found him. Repeat: Robert Nash has been found."
The first agent approached his side, eyeing the machines beeping around him. "His heart rate looks good," she reported over her shoulder before her eyes landed on Bobby's face. A small, relieved smile curled up the sides of her lips. "Hey, captain. My name is Kono. You're safe now."
"S-Safe?" he croaked out, his voice cracking.
Kono nodded, and rested a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You're going to be okay."
"There's been a lot of people missing you," her partner moved closer. He cast a wary glance at the neutralized threat around them before offering Bobby a small smile. "My name's Steve. We're here to bring you home."
A deep sigh escaped Bobby at the word. It struck his center, brought a warmth that he hadn't experienced in so long. The corner of his eyes dotted black, his limbs growing numb.
"Home."
Kono's eyes went wide as Bobby went slack against the bed. "No, wait— captain!"
Their radio cackled. "Mayday, mayday, mayday," Steve shouted. "We need an ambulance and med evac team now. Be prepared at the south corridor. Five minutes!" Him and Kono jumped into action, undoing the locks on the bed and grabbing the IV stands.
"Hold on, captain. Just hold on."
______________________________________________
Buck lost count of the nightmares.
For months, everytime he closed his eyes, he didn't see the ladder truck trapping him underneath it. He didn't see Eddie buried under thirty feet of mud or getting shot right in front of him in broad daylight. He didn't see Maddie in Big Bear, blood soaking her clothes as she collapsed in his arms after killing Doug. He didn't hear Chris's cries in the tsunami, his entire body screaming for him stop as he fought against the churning waves to pull the boy safely into his arms. Buck didn't feel the shock of the lightning or the snap of his line as his body fell limp forty feet in the air.
But, for months, everytime he closed his eyes, Buck saw Bobby. The captain he admired, the mentor who taught him so much, and the father he loved, Buck kept seeing him. Trapped on the other side of bullet-proof tampered glass, blood dripping from his nose across his graying skin. The pained expression in his watering eyes.
"I love you, kid."
Buck hadn't said it back. He never told Bobby he loved him, too, so his subconscious decided mentally tearing him apart was the solution. Not just with the trauma from the lab, either. From the good days. From the very first time the two hung out together at a Bruce Springsteen concert and Buck accidentally spilled nacho cheese on Bobby's sleeve cause he couldn't hide his excitement. When Bobby taught him how to tie a tie and cook everything from pancakes to his signature lasagna. All of the claps on his shoulder, the exasperated but fond looks Bobby would give him when he acted reckless, but pulled off a save on calls. The words of wisdom shared over card games, and the laughter between them at the grill on 118 family barbecue nights.
Those were the times Buck never really wanted to wake up. He just wanted more time, one last hug, one last minute to tell Bobby that he loved him, too.
But life wasn't fair that way.
Bobby had promised Buck that he would be okay, but Buck had been anything but.
It's why he locked onto the idea of Bobby haunting his new house so quickly. It was a much bigger space than he was used to, after living in his loft for so long and his temporary stay in Eddie's house. If Bobby's spirit was there, it wouldn't have felt so…empty.
Instead, the culprit turned out to be an alcoholic squatter— which, honestly, had terrified Buck more than he was willing to share with anyone, even Ravi— but he tried to channel Bobby and direct Dwayne to the help he needed instead of pressing charges. Yet, the ache in his chest from losing his captain still didn't fade.
Buck wondered if it ever would. He also wondered how much life would be different if Bobby had survived the lab. If he hadn't taken off his helmet. If he hadn't asked Buck to leave so he could have a few minutes with Athena. Would Eddie and Chris have come back? Would Athena and Hen have gone into space or would Harry have applied to the firefighter academy? Would Buck have become dependent on his painkillers?
Would Bobby be proud of him? Of how he turned himself in, and asked for help before it went too far? Would Bobby be proud of how Buck was attempting to foster Theo? Or grapple the grief of losing his first friend in Los Angeles? Did Buck have any qualities from Bobby—his perseverance or strength? His leadership skills or compassion?
Buck wondered and wondered. His daydreams clashed with his nightmares, and thus, he lost count of them all. He was trying to move forward, trying to move on, especially for the sake of Christopher and Theo. Two boys who also knew the grief of losing a parent and suffered way too much at their young ages.
He knew his friends were worried about him, too.
They had been for a while, especially since his intense withdrawal where they camped out in his living room. Even though he started to care for himself again, eating right, socializing, and trying counseling once more, he still noticed.
Hen wouldn't eat at meals during shifts until he ate first. Chimney and Maddie would invite him over "just because" and shove their children toward him the second he walked in to shower him with tight hugs and affection. Harry and May kept having movie nights with him after the Bachelor ended. Ravi made sure they went on hikes and taught him pickleball at the new courts near the station. And Eddie…Eddie hovered.
Feather touches to Buck's collarbone or the lower parts of his back when he walked past. Focused, observing gazes when they lounged at the station between calls. Gentle reminders of his therapy appointments. He'd offer to watch Theo when he had to run errands and show up on his doorstep, often with Chris and pizza or food from Tiá Pepa and Abuela in tow. They'd play games with Theo, watch the newest season of Buck's favorite ocean docu-series, or just sit and exist together.
And Buck loved him for it. He loved all of them. But he still missed Bobby like a missing limb. He thought about his name so much that it hurt.
So, maybe, that was why he couldn't believe it.
Buck thinks he blacked out after the phone call. He remembers being in the kitchen with Eddie. Theo and Christopher were asleep in their rooms after a Phineas and Ferb marathon because the little boy was obsessed with Perry the Platypus. And Eddie playfully teased Buck as they put away the dishes, bumping their shoulders together. But then, Buck's phone rang.
May's name flashed on his screen. He didn't think twice about answering, his cheeks flushing pink as Eddie smirked at him.
But Buck's face fell the instant he heard her crying. He couldn't make out anything May told him, her words slurring together through choked-out hiccups. He tried to calm her down, fear swelling in his chest from how distraught the young woman sounded. His panicked blue eyes met Eddie, who instantly moved closer and gripped onto Buck's arm with his brows furrowed.
"Just, just get down here," May begged them to come to the hospital. Her voice cracked, a laugh of disbelief breaking through. "He's alive, Buck. Bobby's alive. He's alive, a-and I still, I still have to call— my mom, she's here, but I, I have to call everyone—"
Buck stopped listening.
Bobby's alive.
The phone slipped from his hand. It clattered to the ground. Eddie tried to catch it. Buck could hear him continuing to talk to May, demand what the hell she was talking about. Buck felt how Eddie's grip tightened at the news, his breath hitching. His own heart thundered against his rib cage.
He's alive.
He's alive.
For months, everytime he closed his eyes, Buck saw Bobby; and for months, Buck had lied to everyone about how much losing him had hurt. He had perfected being okay. He knew how to press his tongue to the roof of his mouth just hard enough to stop his voice from cracking. He could dig his nails into his palms instead of allowing the tears to breach the corners of his eyes.
But May's words caused a dangerous feeling to stir deep in his gut. Something that felt a lot like hope and like a switch, Buck couldn't lie anymore. He couldn't hide.
So, his body gave out. Eddie grunted at how Buck suddenly collapsed against him, his hands shooting out to try and ease the blow. He had no choice but to kneel, his arm wrapped around the front of Buck's chest.
"Hey, hey, hey," Eddie rushed out, his own shock being covered by the worry for Buck. He felt Buck's nails dig into his back. "I got you, it's okay, I'm here. I got you."
The guttural cry Buck emitted was a sound Eddie never wanted to hear again. His entire torso shook in Eddie's arms as he sobbed. His T-shirt became drenched in tears, and Eddie failed to stop his own from falling, too. He buried his face in Buck's curls.
"I got you," he repeated, barely above a whisper. "Okay? I got you, but we've gotta move, okay? We gotta go to the hospital."
Buck whimpered. "I-I— Bobby, they, the boys—"
"I'll call my tiá," Eddie assured, leaning back to look into Buck's glistening storm-water eyes. He gently wiped the tears off Buck's flushed cheeks and held his face in his hands. "She'll stay over, but we have to go, okay? You know we have to go."
"I-I, I can't."
"You can," Eddie disagreed firmly. "And you will. We will. Together."
Buck swallowed hard, but held Eddie's gaze. He forced his head to dip into a nod, and Eddie released a heavy, but relieved sigh. Then, he leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Buck's forehead.
"Let's go get our captain back."
______________________________________________
Buck and Eddie didn't learn much once they got to the hospital, at least, not at first.
They met their frazzled team in the emergency room lobby. Chim's hair stuck out in a million different directions, and deep grey bags underlined his tired eyes. He death-gripped Maddie's hand, the dispatcher clothed in plaid pajama pants stuck inside two different Ugg boots. Karen hadn't stopped biting her thumbnail, Hen toying with her wife's braids with her hoodie pulled over her head. Ravi bounced his leg, glued to May, who shot up from beside Harry on her other side the second she saw Buck.
"Thank god, you're here," she breathed into his chest, the older man wrapping her in a tight hug. "I-I'm sorry. I know my call didn't make any sense, but I just needed everyone to get here—"
Buck's grip on May tightened, his cheek on her messy hair. Eddie placed a hand on May's shoulder. "We're here," Eddie confirmed. "Now, can someone catch us up? Please?"
"There's nothing much to catch you up on," Chimney sighed. He motioned to their left. "Those officers have been talking to Athena for, like twenty minutes, but won't let the rest of us get near her yet."
Eddie and Buck followed Chimney's hand. Only now did they notice a very-stressed Athena twisting her hands repeatedly as she talked in intense, hushed voices with three officers on the other side of the room. The one woman had short dark hair pinned and stood between Athena and her partners. One was shorter with gelled back blond hair and wore a long-sleeve light blue buttoned shirt. The taller officer had a solid T-shirt and dark wash jeans, and brown hair, but both of them displayed their badges on their hips. His arms crossed over his chest. All three wore bullet-proof vests.
Buck stiffened.
"Who are they?" Buck heard Eddie ask.
"We don't know," Hen replied, as May leaned back from Buck and looked up at him, confused.
"Buck?" her concerned voice made the rest of their team look over, too. "What's wrong?"
His feet started to move before he could even think about an answer. Eddie stepped up to May's side once he realized Buck was heading toward Athena. "Buck—"
"Steve?"
Buck didn't speak loudly, but the former Navy Seal heard him anyway. His head snapped over, as did his partners'. Instant recognition flitted across his eyes, even though so much time had passed since they had stood in the same room. "Ace?"
The old nickname almost made Buck freeze. He hadn't heard it in years. He hadn't seen Lieutenant Steve McGarrett in just as long. It hadn't been a lie, all that time ago, when Buck told Bobby he quit the Seals before the completion of training. But that didn't mean Buck didn't make it far or didn't make any friends either.
Steve, or Smooth Dog, had been scouting out fresh meat for his specialized unit based in Hawaii. He discovered Buck in the middle of his qualification training, impressed and amused by the kid's stamina and creative ideas that surprisingly never got him seriously injured or killed. 'Ace' had been a slip of the tongue and stuck, even though Buck ended up denying his job offer. But they never lost contact.
However, Buck never expected to see him in L.A., much less the hospital with his team and Athena.
"What on earth are you doing here?" Buck blurted out as Steve pulled him in for a brief hug. "Last I heard from you, I- you…you were in Hawaii. When did you get here?"
Steve checked the watch on his wrist. "Above twenty-four hours ago, give or take."
"What?"
Steve sighed. "Ace, you were my next call." He motioned to his team and Athena, who couldn't stop looking between Buck and Steve. "Right after I finished talking to Sergeant Grant."
"What?" Buck repeated. "Why?"
Steve hesitated, his eyes catching Danny's, the man shooting his partner a warning look.
"Steve," Buck repeated, desperate. "Why are you here?"
Steve pursed his lips, nodded a few times, and then let out a deep breath and looked Buck straight in the eyes.
"Because when I discover one of the victims of abuse and unlawful science experimentation in a ring of underground labs is the captain of one of my guys, I think I owe it to him to bring him home."
______________________________________________
Steve's words almost Buck crash out for the second time that night.
The other members of the 118 family huddled closer after they realized Buck knew the agents, or at least one of them. Eddie stayed right at Buck's side, casting wary glances at Steve, who started to tell the fire family the redacted version of their mission and introduced his team members: Detective Sergeant Danny Williams and Officer Kono Kalakaua. They operated as part of a special government task force in Hawaii that dealt with crime, corruption, murder, and terrorist threats.
Another team member, Detective Lieutenant Chin Ho Kelly, received a tip about a few months ago about a network of underground labs when two scientists were caught illegally trying to smuggle an eradicated virus into Hawaii. They followed the trail, discovered connections of presumed dead individuals to shady counterfeit death certificates and redacted reports about Moira Blake, the bio-terrorist who caused the explosion that trapped Chimney, Hen, Buck, Ravi, and Bobby. Then, more files revealed activity regarding unlawful experimentation and abuse and Chin 'nicely convinced' their suspects to reveal the locations of the laboratories.
The first two revealed little information, but allowed the Hawaii Five-0 to rescue and shelter stolen dogs, cats, guinea pigs, and rats. The third lab showcased an even more gruesome reality.
Patient 81068 to them was a medical miracle, who should've died from the incubated virus that infected his lungs. But once they stole his body from the United States Army and replaced it with a fake corpse, they realized he hadn't died at all. His pulse was very low, very faint, but present. Something in his blood saved him, kept him alive just barely, and the deranged mad scientists who cried about how they were saving the world through Captain Nash's torture had been determined to find about it, no matter the cost.
Unfortunately, Bobby wasn't the only person they found. Six other individuals— two doctors, one FBI agent, two virologists, and one thirteen year-old girl— had all been taken, held hostage and tortured to the point where barely any of them knew their own names.
Danny elbowed Steve a few times when his wording got too brutal, his eyes flitting between a crying May, a shell-shocked Harry, a choked-up Buck, and a stoic, grief-stricken Athena.
The rest of the 118 fared no better. Eddie's grip on Buck tightened significantly, lips pressed into a firm line to hold back his tears. Chimney went deathly pale, Maddie crying like May. Hen and Karen arms were locked together, the paramedic's lips parted in such a way that Danny feared she wasn't breathing at all.
"I know it sounds crazy," Steve let out a deep sigh at the end of his story, his head shaking. "But we wouldn't be here otherwise. We did the DNA tests, kept him under guard while he began his recovery with surgery—"
"Surgery?" The way Athena's voice cracked made everyone flinch.
Danny put a hand on Steve's shoulder and sent him a warning look, before answering, "He had significant damage to his heart from the testing, and had to have a heart valve replacement. It was risky, given his condition, but they saved him. Expect him to make a full recovery."
"Your husband is alive," Kono agreed softly, eyes on Athena before they swept over the family broken. "Robert is going to be okay."
"B-Bobby," Buck had to force the words out, completely overwhelmed. "We, we call him Bobby."
Kono nodded. "Bobby," she corrected without thinking twice. "He's going to be fine. Doctors are keeping him in the ICU for a few days, just to make sure everything is clear, and then he'll be moved to the standard room."
Eddie spoke up, his voice raspy from the emotional night. "His memories," he cleared his throat. "You said something about amnesia, right? With the other patients? Did Bobby, did he remember—"
Steve replied honestly, "There are gaps. But he remembered his last name, his wife and kids." He looked at Athena with a small smile. "It's how I knew how to find you." He nodded at Buck. "You, too, Ace."
Buck's blood ran cold. His feet felt glued to the floor, and his entire body stiffened. His lips opened.
You're wrong, he wanted to tell Steve. He couldn't have remembered me. I'm not his son. I'm not his son. I'm no one's son. He's not my dad, even though I always wanted him to be. I'm not his son.
But nothing came out.
He barely even could blink when he felt a hand slip into his and give it a firm squeeze. Athena had moved closer, but didn't look at Buck. Didn't correct Steve. No one did. Instead, Athena asked, "When can we see him?"
"That's up to the doctors," Steve nudged his head toward the nurses' station. "But my team and I… we're not going anywhere, yet. As Bobby's memory recovers, we won't push, but well, we need to make sure that there isn't anything we're missing in our investigation. In fact," he sent the rest of the 118 a grim, sympathetic look, "I'll need to talk to all of those who were in the lab, too. I apologize, because I understand it was traumatic, but—"
"You brought Bobby home to us," Hen interrupted. "The least we can do is help you make sure that those people get locked away."
"For good," Chimney added with a firm nod.
"Okay," Kono blew out a heavy breath and clasped her hands together. "How about I run and get you guys some food, huh? I know you're all not going anywhere anytime soon, but hospital food is not exactly the kind of fuel you need."
"I'll go with you," Karen volunteered, squeezing Hen's arm before letting go. "I know what they all like and you're going to need help."
Maddie wiped at her eyes, nodding her head. "I'll come, too." She forced out a quiet laugh. "Gives me something to do, ya know?"
"If you two don't mind, and are up for it, we can start on those questions," Danny suggested to Hen, Ravi, and Chimney. "No pressure, though. If you need more time, we can wait."
"Now is, now is okay," Chimney agreed, voice thick as he waved his hand. "Athena, you and the kids go see Bobby."
"We'll all be here," Hen promised, and stepped forward to give Athena a tight hug. "None of us are going anywhere."
Buck stayed still as Karen and Maddie followed Kono out of the hospital, Hen and Chimney leading Danny and Steve— who clapped him on the back gently—to where they knew there were quiet rooms to talk. God, the team had been in that hospital so many times. They knew the layout just as well as their firehouse.
Athena and Eddie hadn't moved from his sides, but May and Harry promised their mom to go find one of the nurses to lead them to Bobby.
Bobby, who was alive. Not well, but alive with a beating heart. It hadn't sunken in. How could it? Buck feared any second he'd wake up from this intense dream, the place where hope began to dangerously spread across their team with every one of Steve's words.
He's alive. He's alive. He's alive.
Buck squeezed his eyes shut.
Please, God, universe or whatever, please don't let this be another waking nightmare. Please, God, let Bobby be actually alive.
When Harry and May came back, a nurse in blue scrubs and a tired, yet compassionate smile, joined them. She explained Bobby could only have one visitor at a time for twenty-minute increments. They had cleared him of any diseases or viruses, but regaining his strength now was critical. He needed time to heal and time to rest.
Of course, they sent Athena in first. She was Bobby's life partner, his other half. She sat at Bobby's bedside with shaking sanitized hands, keeping her emotions in check until the moment she touched his wrist and felt a strong, consistent pulse underneath her fingertips. Her entire body shuddered from her sobs. She continued to mutter under her breath how much she had missed him, how there had been times when she had felt tempted to give up on this life because he hadn't been at her side. But then she promised her presence. Her support. Her love that never died and persevered through death.
They were going to find time to rest— to truly enjoy life together even more than they had already.
She emerged from the room with tear-stained cheeks, May and Harry springing up from their chairs to greet her with a tight hug. They each took their turns, too, while Eddie stayed with Buck, who still felt frozen. He knew where he was, could smell the aggressive combination of isopropyl alcohol, bleach, and ammonia. Felt the slick, cold tiles even through his untied sneakers. His mouth was dry and his throat was scratchy, but he didn't ask for water. He just sat there, reminding himself to breathe.
He's alive. He's alive. He's alive.
"Buck?" Athena's voice broke through his scratched record thoughts. "Your turn, baby."
For the first time in over an hour, Buck moved. His head started to shake from side to side, tears quickly building in his icy blue eyes. No matter how hard he pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth, he couldn't stop them from falling.
"I-I can't," he cried, hunching over and burying his face with his hands. "I can't. I can't see him like that. I can't. Please don't make me see him like that."
"Okay, okay, you're okay," Eddie sprung into action. May did, too. They hugged Buck on both sides, Eddie resting his head against Buck's curls while May whispered soothes. Athena hesitated at first, not wanting to completely surround the younger man, but eventually knelt in front of him.
"I want to wake up," Buck begged and the police sergeant felt her own heart crack again. "Don't make me see him like that. Let me wake up."
"Buck, this isn't a dream," Eddie spoke in a gently firm and collected tone that informed the others this isn't the first time Buck had confused reality. "This is real. You're real. You're here with me, okay? You're here and you're safe, and Bobby is safe. Can you say that back to me?"
Buck trembled in his hold. "I-I'm here."
Eddie nodded once. "You're awake and safe."
"I am," Buck swallowed hard, tears still rolling down his flushed skin. "I am awake. I-I am safe."
"Bobby is safe."
"Bobby," Buck's voice cracked. "He's, he's safe. But I-I can't, Eddie."
"You don't have to see him right now," Eddie assured him. "You're okay. He's okay. You're both okay." He directed Buck's gaze gently toward where Steve was heading their direction with Chimney, Hen, Ravi, and Danny. "They're protecting him, okay? They got him."
Buck released a deep sigh that made May and Harry exchange relieved glances. "They got him," Buck whispered, his body going lax.
"Mom, why don't you back in?" May suggested, still having an arm wrapped around Buck's back. "Gives Har and I a chance to call Dad and Michael, see when they'll be able to come home. We'll come get you when the food gets here."
Athena cast a wary glance at Buck, still crouched in front of him. She placed a gentle hand on his knee.
It wasn't a secret to anyone in the room why Buck was struggling. It was a crazy story, a miracle that probably wouldn't settle in for a while. They had watched him over the past year grieve his captain intently; they all had. But they also recognized Bobby was more than a captain to Buck. More than a friend. And as the reality of Bobby being alive hit Buck, they were watching him truly grieve his father for the first time.
So, Athena squeezed his knee and raised to her feet. She nodded in appreciation at Danny and Steve, and then headed back to Bobby's room.
They weren't going to force Buck to see him if he wasn't ready.
May and Harry, they understood Buck's situation a little better than the others. Bobby was their second dad, too. It had killed them to see him in the hospital again, with wires and tubes, flushed skin and an eerie stillness that could never replace Bobby's natural warmth he brought wherever he went. If Buck didn't want to see that, the bruises and scars, they didn't blame him.
______________________________________________
The next few days passed in a similar fashion.
The Hawaii Five-0 team continued their investigation and rotated security outside Bobby and the other patients' doors. The 118 at different points watched other families reunite, everyone becoming blubbering messes because no one could believe that their lost people had been found.
Once Bobby was moved from the ICU, his memories made progress, as did his mobility. The first words he spoke made Athena burst into tears and every hug from May, Harry, and the others brought a deep warmth to his soul that he hadn't felt in months. He got to laugh with Chimney about being a captain, meet baby Nash with Maddie, accept cards from Hen, Karen and the other kids, and play cards with Eddie and Christopher. He also grimaced through questions from Agent McGarrett and Detective Williams and stubbornly followed through on his physical exercise with his doctoral team to help with walking again.
But someone was missing.
Bobby felt it in his soul, and kept scanning the room when his team would visit for the curly-haired, energetic firefighter. He pestered Athena.
"Where is my son?"
At that point, Buck felt like he lived at the hospital. Once he ended up falling asleep in the small plastic chair in the waiting room, Eddie's arm protectively around him, that first night, he failed to stop moving. He paced, ran errands for Athena and the kids while they visited with Bobby, snatching his niece and nephew away to babysit once Bobby's visiting hours extended. His knee would bounce in the chairs, still in the waiting room. Yet, even with Eddie's gentle prodding and Athena's questioning, he couldn't bring himself to do it.
He couldn't make himself cross the threshold and see Bobby again. So he clung to the others' tales, their teary and smiling faces. He could believe through them. It was enough. It had to be, because any time he thought of getting up, of finally taking that step, he'd remember the lab.
The way Bobby looked at him, pain-stricken and dying. The bullet proof glass that wouldn't shatter no matter how hard Buck tried. The damaged oxygen tube. The glaze over Bobby's eyes and his heartbreaking words.
"I love you, kid."
Buck didn't get to say it back then, so what right did he have to say it now?
So, when he heard Eddie offhandedly mention to Steve about a coffee shop down the street that he and his team would enjoy, Buck jumped at the opportunity to go for them. Eddie studied him through his rushed chattering of hot chai and coconut cream cold brew, his shaking fingers gripping his phone even tighter as he typed out the order in his notes app. Steve looked at him, unsure, too, even stated Buck didn't need to go. Buck felt their eyes and promptly fled.
He took his time, too, knowing that when he returned Eddie would try to persuade him to see Bobby. As he came through the hospital doors and walked the familiar path toward Bobby's room, where he'd normally pause to stay out of sight, he kept his head down. He intended to drop them off and then find Hen, convince her to let him take Denny and Mara to the park with Jee-Yun.
That was his plan, but life wasn't fair that way.
"Buck?"
His name hit the air as a gentle whisper, yet it pierced Buck's heart all the same. His head snapped up. The drink tray once secure in his hands slipped, coffee and tea swallowing the tile. His focus, though, couldn't be torn away from the man standing only a few feet away from him.
Bobby looked smaller somehow at first, hands gripping the sides of a rectangular cane. A hospital gown swallowed his chest and upper arms, and there was an IV attached to his right forearm. A small scar stretched across the left side of his forehead. His eyes looked tired, but Buck saw a familiar spark of light as Bobby gained more creases in his face from smiling wide.
A nurse was at his side, raising her eyebrows from the unique exchange happening before her. "Captain Nash?"
"Buck," Bobby beamed now, more sure of himself. He glanced away from the man for a millisecond to his nurse. "That's my son."
Buck couldn't breathe.
Buck had thought about Bobby so much that is hurt. He had dreamed about what it would like for Bobby to survive, to plow into him as a greeting at the firehouse, to cook with him again. He had wondered about introducing Theo to the man who saw him as more than a screw-up. The man who helped him tie a tie and mentored him in firefighting and life. He had lost count of the nightmares where he never got to thank him. Never got to tell him that he loved him, too, that he needed him.
And now, Bobby was here. Bobby stood in front of him, alive with a beating heart, claiming to a stranger that Buck was his own. Buck was his son.
Tears sprung into Buck's eyes.
Bobby's smile faded into a concerned frown. He wondered what Buck's world had been; Athena had told him it had been over a year since the laboratory explosion. His team had filled in details of what they experienced in his absence, and while they didn't reveal details of Buck's journey, he caught the certain look of heartache in their expressions. Buck had suffered. They all had.
Bobby had too, and on the days where he had more consciousness, he remembered praying and begging to God to let the pain go away. To let him reunite with his family. And now, his prayer was finally being answered.
Bobby took a step forward, his cane squeaking against the floor.
"Kid?"
The name rolled down Buck's shoulders. His bottom lip quivered, and he couldn't hold himself back. He was too tired. He couldn't do this alone, not anymore.
"Dad."
Buck cried out, almost slipping on the spilled drinks as his body caught up with his brain and sprung into action. Bobby grunted when Buck slammed into his chest, flying his hands up to wrap around Buck and to keep himself from falling. He felt a pang from the sudden pressure on his heart but as he embraced his own, he couldn't find himself to care.
Buck sobbed, his face squished into Bobby's neck. Tears soaked the hospital gown. Bobby's left hand reached up to the back of Buck's hair, his other arm gripping the young man into a tight hug. "I didn't say it back, I'm sorry," Buck cried. "I'm sorry I didn't say it."
"You're okay, kid," Bobby whispered. "You're okay."
"I'm not," Buck shook his head, but still didn't let Bobby go. "I'm not, I'm not okay, Bobby. I-I needed you, and it's been," Buck squeezed his eyes shut, his body shuddering. "It's been so hard without you."
Bobby leaned back. He took a moment to observe the creases on Buck's face, the exhaustion in his eyes and felt the tension in his shoulders. Even though it had only been a year, somehow, Buck looked more grown. Time had flown by and Bobby hated it. He had missed so much, his wife, his families both alive and dead…and Buck. Maybe they weren't biologically related, and maybe at one point, Bobby tried to keep distance from Buck due to the paternal pull he felt toward the younger firefighter, but it didn't matter now.
Bobby had missed Buck. He missed his son.
"I'm here, son," Bobby promised, Buck's eyes welling with tears again. "I'm home now. I love you, kid."
Buck instantly pulled him into another embrace. This time he didn't hesitate to speak either.
"I love you, too, Dad."