Work Text:
Julian has always believed that a family does not exist between his hopes of becoming a God of football and toppling Noel Noa. He planned to keep playing football until his legs gave out, and he did just that— one broken leg with irreparable consequences later and he had a kid at 38. He was finished with the broken God complex that came with being forced to no longer play soccer any longer; his rivals were now younger men with vitality he remembers seeing in his youth.
Vivian likes to mediate his broken godliness and the new kid they have, by saying he was now the God of things associated with football, and one of these is, he supposes, becoming coach of the PXG team. While he longs for the field, he had a painful mind shattering realization when he realizes that, after surgery, he could never run as fast as he can again.
He tried to act like he'd been fine, but Vivian knows everything about him.
It's so daunting, really. Vivian retired from football after Julian's own retirement, and had plans on having a kid. They ended up having only one, because Vivian’s wish is Julian's compromise.
Honore Loki was born on November 14 of 2039, with Julian's colors and void black eyes, courtesy of Vivian. Julian liked the name Honore so much that Vivian settled on Honore’s middle name being Destiny. Vivian was being too on the nose with that one, but seeing how he looks so satisfied pampering their child, Julian allows it.
The two of them never married, preferring this… unlabeled relationship between them rather than binding their souls together forever. Julian knows he's made Vivian unsatisfie, but that's what he gets for continously sticking by his side. Honore has his last name, and Vivian is stuck as a guardian. The child was passed off as someone who spawned into Julian's life one day for the press. They came up with multiple conspiracies regarding the child, the most popular being that Honore was a product of a one-night-stand. Julian lets them talk, as long as Honore knows that their parents are here for them. Obviously, he had to swat some reporters away, before realizing France was a rather unhealthy environment before proceeding to send them to a school in Japan.
Julian never thought about family in the personal sense; he had one, sure, but he was just as absent from their lives as they are with his. He could barely recall their names nor their faces; they've been replaced by Honore’s, his former teammates, and his extended family’s faces.
Despite people telling him having a kid will be life changing, it all feels like a wistful dream; life moved on, except now Julian has to have a wheelchair every time he heads outside, and he must supervise his rambunctious child. All the while, Vivian waits for them to come home, already having cooked dinner for them both.
It's a good life. When Honore is with him, the sting of retiring prematurely abates.
Julian was busy watching a PXG match when he feels a weight beside him. He doesn’t meet Vivian’s eyes as he continues watching, but he's no longer listening. “Do you need something, Vivian?”
Vivian has an aged beauty with him that Julian has tried his damndest to replicate, to good results. Despite the two of them being fifty-five and fifty-six respectively, press reports say they haven’t aged since they were forty. Yeah yeah, aging is the sign of wisdom or whatever the hell, but Noa himself hasn't aged over fifty despite the fact that he's seventy years old.
“My sister wants to arrange a playdate with her grandchildren and Honore.” Even hearing Vivian confirm the lateness of their child and how early Celine and Seishiro had theirs was enough to put Julian in a mood.
The only children who were able to socialize with Honore, from people they knew, were from Vivian’s half-brother Seishiro, with Seiryuu Mikage, and — urgh — Isagi Yoichi’s kids Sachiyo and Rie. Honore is adjusting well to their school in Japan, even if Seiryuu was a mere upperclassman rather than a classmate. At least someone’s there to keep Honore safe.
“How old is the oldest?” Julian asks, raising a brow. Celine Hugo is Vivian’s older half-sister, and they are ten years apart. When they met, Celine already had a kid clutching her skirts.
“Fifteen,” Vivian replies with a hum. His hand ends up on Julian’s thigh, and he does not slap it away. “From Celine’s oldest.”
Julian shrugs. “If Honore is willing to leave Japan for the summer, then I don’t see why not.”
Vivian lets out a breath, leaning against the sofa. This sofa was burgundy in color, and had also been the figment of Julian’s madness at one point. Blame Vivian and his tendency to get everything in red colors; it had irritated Julian, and is still irritating him now. Julian decides to turn the TV off so he can check if Vivian’s having one of his migraines again. Thanks to the large amount of wealth they both racked up in the apex of their soccer careers, the two of them were never bereaved of money. Although, Vivian’s headaches are starting to… concern Julian. He never complains about them, but it’s beginning to be detrimental for them both.
“You’re not having headaches again, aren’t you?” Julian asks, keeping his voice low, even if no one is inside their house. “We need to get you to a doctor.”
Vivian shakes his head, but lets Julian’s hand stay on his forehead. “I’m fine. I’m just… tired.”
“Tired from sorting books in the local library all day?”
Vivian snorts. “You wouldn’t believe at how small the texts of each new book has come to us. The young ones these days are reading miniature texts in big books. Honestly, it is baffling.”
“You still read those stupid blank books.”
“It keeps my mind sharp.”
Julian snorts, smirking. “Sure, whatever you say, Vivi.”
And there Vivian is, his husband in everything but in name, smiling at Julian. He knows that things between them had changed since they first met, for better or for worse, and Julian knows that Vivian is never going to forgive him for labeling him as merely being Honore’s guardian instead of a full-fledged father, nor marrying him, but he can pretend that they were both still the same starry-eyed teenagers who first met in a football mock match. Vivian smiles at him like Julian was still the faultless god sitting on a gilded throne.
It makes Julian sick. It makes Julian feel as if golden pride glitters around him.
No headache or argument is going to separate them.
“When is Honore returning from Japan?” Julian asks, glancing towards a picture frame containing Honore’s smiling face. Vivian attempted to get their kid into modeling, but Julian had been adamant Honore follow in their parents’ footsteps and become a soccer player. It all turned into a huge argument, with Julian stating outright that Honore must become a soccer player, as they only came into existence when Julian’s soccer career had to end. Vivian’s look of horror forced Julian to let go of the supposed belief that it was Honore’s fault he had to quit soccer, instead of the circumstances prior to their birth.
“Some time in August,” Vivian hums. “Honore likes it in Japan. They like staying in Uncle Reo’s mansion, even if that horrendous skyscraper is more dystopian business building than a mansion.”
“Nagi’s eldest sons already moved out, right?” Julian asks, as he remembers the older kids of their contemporaries (Sae, Kaiser, hell, even Bunny’s) having moved out and now have stable careers. Julian is relieved that he wouldn’t practically be hands-on with Honore, but his kid’s absence is palpable in this house. No amount of gardening, or exercising, or even walking around the park with Vivian can help secure how much he misses Honore.
At least, from what Seishiro is sending them, Honore is being taken cared of well. After the soccer field fiasco of 2050, he’s not keen on letting Honore stay with their uncles unless some of Seishiro’s kids moved out.
“Do you miss them?”
Julian scoffs. “Pick better questions next time, Vivian. Of course I miss Honore. It’s just that these stupid paparazzi hadn’t given us reprieve and it’s been seventeen years!”
“You mean… you haven’t been given reprieve,” Vivian corrects, stale and firm.
Julian’s golden eyes brush over Vivian’s empty ones. “Yes, I guess so.”
“There is one way to solve this—”
“I’m not marrying you, Vivian, not now, not ever.” Julian doesn’t have any reason to deny Vivian’s marriage proposals anymore, as they grew older. First, it was because they were teenagers with lives ahead of them. Next, they were young adults who think they should see other people. In their thirties, Julian insists it doesn’t mean anything, and attempted to convince Vivian to see other people. In their forties, Julian feared Vivian would look for someone younger, and yet, he stayed. Julian deluded himself into believing he stayed only for Honore, but without Honore here, it’s become clear what Vivian wants from him.
A tense silence occurs between them. The weight in the sofa beside shifts, as Vivian looks away.
“I see.”
That was the end of the conversation.