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“Enjolras and Grantaire really need to get their act together,” commented Bahorel one morning in the back of the Cafe Musain. “I know they’ve never said they’re going out, but…it’s not hard to tell.”
“I agree,” said Joly, his voice muffled by his scarf. “I wanted to bring it up to R, but I didn’t want to infer anything.”
Bossuet looked sideways at Joly, “Come on, Mr Doctor, take that scarf off. It's spring.”
“It’s not for warmth!” Joly replied defensively. “Do you know the risk of contracting new allergies in this season? Not to mention hayfever-”
“Anyway…” Bahorel poked Joly teasingly before returning to polishing his impressive collection of firearms. “Something needs to be done about our fearless leader and our drunk cynic. They’re never going to confess to each other on their own, let’s be real.”
“Yes, we can accidentally-on-purpose set them up on something!” said Bossuet, jumping onto the idea. “We can tell them that it’s a group thing, but in reality…it’s just them.”
“Only problem is making them believe it,” Bahorel smirked. “R would fall for it, eventually, but I can’t see any of us straight-up lying to Enjolras and getting away with it.”
“Maybe not, but we’d have to give it a try, right?” Joly winked and began polishing his glasses.
“Ok, once we’ve figured out a plan, someone has to go and tell them. Who’s gonna do it?” Bahorel asked.
“Feel free to go ahead,” Bossuet waved his hand. “I don’t much feel like getting stared to death by Enjolras.”
“Gamble on it?” Bahorel suggested immediately.
“Bold of you to assume I have any money,” Bossuet retorted.
“Oh, forget it, I’ll do it.” Joly stood up. “Just give me the plan.”
“Right, so we put them together in a park-”
“Hayfever risk,” interjected Joly.
“Ok, a restaurant-”
“Food poisoning.”
“Come on! What’s life without a little risk?” Bahorel asked.
Joly shrugged. “Fine. You search for ideas with Bossuet, I’ll deliver the message.”
“Right. Meet back here in an hour, then.”
***
“It looks like Courfeyrac and Combeferre still haven’t acknowledged their feelings,” sighed Feuilly, watching the two of them sit together at a table.
“Don’t get me started. You couldn’t possibly imagine how unbearable they were when we went to school together,” Enjolras said shortly from his table in the corner.
“Don’t get me started on unbearable people,” Grantaire replied as he slid into a chair opposite Enjolras and snatched the pen from his hand. “Some unbearable people need to know when to take a break, and a proper break. Especially on the weekends.”
Enjolras glared at him. “What difference does the day of the week make to our plans? I’m not the unbearable one here,” He added and continued to write distractedly.
“Uh, people are supposed to rest on the weekends. Even I’m not working,” said Feuilly with emphasis.
“Surely that should send the message? You know, Feuilly being…Feuilly, and all.”
“Why should we succumb to the rules that society deems acceptable for-”
“Moving on,” Feuilly quickly interjected, hoping to avoid a full-blown monologue from Enjolras. “Courf and Ferre need to get their act together.” He glanced subtly at the other two, as if to say You too. The other two either didn’t acknowledge the look or pretended not to.
Grantaire leaned forward suddenly. “I wonder if we could…help them with that?”
Feuilly joined them at the table. “How so?”
“Well, say if we were to get them together on a nice boat ride, and then, uh…push the boat away with just them two in it, or-”
“I’m not supposed to condone any of this,” muttered Enjolras, but he had stopped writing and was sitting with his arms crossed, staring at Grantaire in an intrigued fashion.
“Or, we say we’re going to dinner with all nine of us, but it turns out it’s just them,” suggested Feuilly excitedly…
“Or push them into the Luxembourg Gardens together,” Enjolras added.
Grantaire looked triumphant. “So, we are in agreement. We need to find a way to get those two together, if they won’t do it themselves.”
***
“I can’t believe Joly and Bossuet haven’t officially asked each other out yet,” said Courfeyrac. “The rest of us know well enough. It’s pretty obvious as it is.”
“I mentioned it to Joly a couple of times,” Combeferre replied mildly, briefly looking up from the large encyclopedia he was studying. “He either changed the subject or said he had to go and work on something.”
“It’s sad, really,” Jehan added, as they flipped through Combeferre’s book to study all the pictures of wildflowers. “They work so well together! I was talking to Bossuet a few days ago, and we were talking about poetry- I asked if he’d talked to Joly about any of the poems I showed him, and he asked why he would…”
“What did you say?” Courfeyrac grinned as he bounced up and down in his seat.
“Oh, I just said ‘Well, you seem to spend so much time together, I’d have thought you might’ve shared your interests’.”
“What did he say?” Combeferre adjusted his glasses and peered at Jehan.
“Um…he said, ‘What, like you and that Montparnasse fellow?’ And then I got embarrassed and made an excuse to go away.”
“Jehan!” Combeferre rolled his eyes. “He’s right, you know. That man is no good.”
“No, he’s got a heart, trust me…” Jehan blushed and then continued to protest faintly as Combeferre laughed and Courfeyrac leaned forward.
“Anyway, what I was thinking. What if they simply needed a little…external help?”
Combeferre paused and closed his book. “What are you suggesting, Courf?”
“Nothing bad!” Just that…maybe if we happened to set them up on something, make it seem like a total accident…they couldn’t say no then, right?”
“Actually, they could,” pointed out Combeferre. “I don’t want them to think that we forced them.
“Come on, Ferre! They’re in love. You can see it, surely. They just need a little…push.”
“What did you have in mind?” Jehan leaned forward, interested. Combeferre followed, albeit quite exasperated.
“So. Here’s the plan…”
***
One day later, all nine of the Les Amis gathered together in their usual room. Joly had given an invitation to Enjolras and Grantaire. Jehan had given an invitation to Joly and Bossuet. Feuilly had given an invitation to Courfeyrac and Combeferre. All letters detailed different things, yet at the same time and place. So the nine of them were a little confused when everyone showed up.
“What is this?” asked Enjolras to Bahorel suspiciously.
“Yes, I’m also a little confused…” Combeferre added.
“Same,” put in Bossuet.
“Hang on,” Courfeyrac said suddenly. “Why is everyone here? I thought it was just meant to be…two.”
“What?” said Grantaire, more confused than ever.
“Okay, we’ll come clean,” Jehan burst out, ignoring the agitated looks from Courfeyrac and Combeferre. “Courf, Ferre and I decided that we wanted to plan a date for Joly and Bossuet. That’s the reason. Sorry,” they added, glancing at Bossuet.
Joly and Bossuet looked confused. “Right, so you did that…and Bossuet, Bahorel and I had the same idea. But for Enjolras and R.”
Due to Enjolras’ pale skin, it was easy to tell when he was blushing. He hurriedly looked away and instead replied, “I see. Well, maybe it won’t come as a surprise to know that Grantaire, Feuilly and I planned the same thing for Courfeyrac and Ferre.”
There was a slightly embarrassed pause, which Courfeyrac broke by laughing. “So we all tried to set up dates for each other because we were all tired of everyone not asking out their partner?”
“Something like that, yeah,” Grantaire confirmed.
Joly joined in the laughter, which quickly turned into coughing. “Well, I might as well make a group outing out of it. The Corinthe?”
“Wait,” said Bahorel, staring between them. “So you six-” he used a complex hand gesture to point at Enjolras, Grantaire, Combeferre, Courfeyrac, Joly and Bossuet- “Admit it? You like your respective people?”
Another embarrassed pause.
“Might as well.” Courfeyrac winked and grabbed Combeferre’s hand, who blushed and looked away. Joly and Bossuet followed suit.
“I- I’m not sure. Is it appropriate to tell you all-?” Enjolras began hesitantly.
“Oh, shut up.” Grantaire kissed him on the cheek. “The Corinthe, someone said?”
The group began to head out the door. The respective parties had achieved their goals- perhaps in a rather confusing way…but a victory nonetheless.