Chapter Text
Natallia curled up against her bed, gripping the sheets. She’d always loved her family deeply.
They were the only ones ever there for her.
But her love turned violent.
And then they turned away.
Who did Natallia have now? No one. No one.
So she lay alone. Her only redeeming quality was that she was pretty. Her brother had said it himself. She was mean. She was aggressive. Violent. Something was wrong with her.
Sometimes, Natallia just wanted to hide away.
Sometimes, Natallia hated herself.
Sometimes, Natallia felt as if she was nothing more than a pathetic insect crawling on the wall.
Something that someone needed to crush beneath them.
And Natallia didn’t know what to do about these feelings.
So, she resented. She resented everyone around her. They weren’t better than her. They wouldn’t crush her. They weren’t as pretty as her.
Sure, they were nicer. Sure, they didn’t feel these things. Sure, they knew how to show love.
But, Natallia was better. She was better. She would be better.
Natallia sat down beside him on the bench. They didn’t really get along. Not truly. But she knew how he felt. He knew how she felt. They understood each other, more than anyone else could.
Natallia had her earplugs in, closing her eyes as she listened to the music playing through them.
That's when he tapped her shoulder.
Natallia huffed and paused the song. “What?”
“I asked what you were listening to.” Matthew asked.
The thing is, Natallia didn’t like Matthew. He was quiet and shy and weird. But, he hung out with her. Which was new. And apparently, it was new that she noticed him.
“An artist.” Natallia said. “Jun Togawa.”
Matthew tilted his head. “I’ve never heard of her.”
Natallia shrugged. “You wouldn’t like her music.”
Matthew grabbed one of her earbuds despite what she said.
Natallia waited for the judgement.
It didn’t come.
“I like it.” Matthew said after a moment.
Natallia raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
Matthew nodded. “I do.”
Natallia looked away, trying to hide the smile that crossed her face. “Don’t say that just to make me feel happy.”
“Why are you so certain that I wouldn’t like it?” Matthew asked.
Natallia shrugged. “You don’t… seem like the type of guy to like her, is all.”
For the first time in a while, Natallia was sharing something she enjoyed with someone.
And she was happy about it.
Natallia started listening to music with Matthew after that. It became a sort of ritual to sit outside and take turns playing songs.
It turned out, Matthew really liked death metal. It caught Natallia off guard when she heard it blaring.
“Too much?” Matthew asked nervously.
Natallia shook her head. “Startled me. You seem like the type to like… I don’t know… soft music.”
Matthew laughed. “I like most genres, but hardcore music is like… I don’t know. Cool?”
Natallia nodded, closing her eyes.
She also learned Matthew was kind of unpredictable.
After her chosen song ended, Matthew typed up a song.
Turns out, it was a Vocaloid song. Well, Natallia hadn’t heard Vocaloid before, but she knew the gist.
“This song. What is it called?” Natallia asked.
“Rolling Girl.”
Natallia nodded. The music was good. Very good.
Moments like these made her feel less like a centipede and more of a butterfly.
Whatever that meant.