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1. Sixteen Candles (and the rest) by myfatherwillhearaboutthisss

   Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling  

   • Explicit
   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • F/M
   • Work in Progress

   19 Jun 2026

   Tags

   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
   • Draco Malfoy
   • Hermione Granger
   • Theodore Nott
   • Ash Goode (Original Character)
   • Narcissa Black Malfoy
   • Scorpius Malfoy
   • Original Child Character(s)
   • Established Relationship
   • Post-Canon
   • Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence
   • married Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger
   • Dad Draco Malfoy
   • Draco Malfoy POV
   • Domestic Fluff
   • Birthday Fluff
   • Malfoy Family Feels
   • Married flirting
   • Sabrina Carpenter Crimes Against Fathers
   • Dadda Is Late
   • Draco Malfoy Gets Many Hugs
   • Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy Or Should We Say Draco 2.0
   • Lyra Lucy Malfoy AKA Head of the Anti-Bean Coalition
   • Helena Grace Malfoy Knows Where the Bodies Are Buried
   • Alice Ara Malfoy Has Main Character Energy
   • Birthday Sex
   • Oral Sex
   • Hell Fucking Yeah Get It D-Man
   • Horny Witch Barbie Rides Again

   Summary

   Draco Malfoy is forty-six, late for his own birthday, and being bullied by everyone he loves except his mother.

   There is cake (thanks Queen Delia). There is music (Sabrina slay). There is a bean (IYKYK). Eventually, there is very little dignity.

   Also: this is now 2/3, because Hermione Granger-Malfoy has demanded a right of reply.

   Happy birthday, D-Man. 🎂

   Series

   • Part 2 of Ferret Stabler's World, Excellent

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   8,337

   Chapters:

   2/3

   Comments:

   10

   Kudos:

   15

   Bookmarks:

   5

   Hits:

   361