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Aziraphale’s heart was breaking in two. Here they were, in this gorgeous tranquil paradise, in what should have been one of the happiest moments of his life. Instead it was the most excruciating.
Crowley was ready to throw it all away, so the universe could start over. So the humans could have free will — proper free will this time, not the kind where God dangles an apple in front of you and calls it a choice when you eat it.
“Please tell me you understand, angel.”
Aziraphale turned away from Crowley, fighting back tears as he grappled with the horrid sinking feeling in his chest. Crowley’s voice was cracking, pleading, and Aziraphale knew that he had the power make Crowley abandon his plan, to do the thing Aziraphale wanted, rather than what the world needed.
“I do understand,” Aziraphale finally answered. “In the larger sense, of course I do.” He turned back around. “And that’s all well and good for the humans. But what about us, Crowley?”
“This decision can’t be about only us. You were ready to sacrifice all that when you thought you could make things better for the humans by going back to Heaven. Is this any different?”
“I didn’t think it would be permanent," Aziraphale said. "I thought we would have more time. That the humans would go to Heaven for eternity, and then… I thought peace on earth would be peace for us. That we could finally rest. After all this time, after everything we’ve been through, we deserve that, don’t we?”
“Of course we do," Crowley said. "I wish more than anything that we could have had our chance at a life together. But—”
“I know. And I know we can’t have it—” Aziraphale blinked back tears. “Oh, this is really it, isn’t it? And I haven’t even — I need to say—” He stepped forward, and took Crowley’s hands. They were warm, and calloused, and trembling. “I can’t have God being the only one to have said it out loud.”
“I already know, angel,” Crowley said softly. “I knew it when you left, and I know it now.”
“Please,” Aziraphale insisted. “Let me tell you how much I love you. That I’m in love with you.” He gripped Crowley’s hands tighter. “I know it’s too late—”
“No.” Crowley shook his head ferociously. “No, it’s never too late. Because now I finally get to say it back, that I love you, I love you more than anything—”
Aziraphale couldn’t bear to look at him anymore. He pulled Crowley in for a hug, clutching at him tightly, as though that would stop the inevitable. Crowley held him, and they got to seek comfort in each other’s arms, for the first and last time.
Aziraphale let Crowley’s jacket absorb his tears. He reached a hand up and ran it through the hair at the nape of Crowley’s neck, holding him closer. They basked in each other’s solid physical presence, seeking the comfort they had been denied all these millennia.
Finally Crowley leaned back to look at Aziraphale, still holding him. He smiled, open and heartbroken and content.
“There’s just one last thing,” Aziraphale said. He closed the distance between them, and planted a soft kiss on Crowley’s lips.
They didn’t linger. They couldn’t, there wasn’t enough time. Time, which had always seemed in over abundance, was now their enemy.
“I can’t believe we wasted all these years,” Aziraphale whispered.
Crowley shook his head, and tears spilled down his cheeks. “I don’t think they were wasted. Not if I got to spend them with you.” He took a deep breath. “I don’t know how much longer we can stay here. Are you ready?”
“No,” Aziraphale said. “But I don’t think I’ll ever be.”
And so they stood in front of God, holding each other’s hands for strength, and asked for a new world, one where humans could be free of the manipulative vicissitudes of Satan and God, Hell and Heaven.
God agreed to their terms. And then everything vanished.
Nothing in Aziraphale’s aeons-long existence surprised him more than opening his eyes to find himself still standing in his bookshop, holding his demon’s hand.
Crowley hesitantly cracked one eye open. “Are we — is this—” He turned to Aziraphale. “Did She lie to us?”
“Of course I didn’t,” a voice snapped. God was still sitting in the chair across from them, looking amused. “I did exactly what you asked. I created a brand new universe. No God, no angels, no demons. You’re welcome.”
“But—” Aziraphale looked out the window. Whickber Street was teeming with humans, all of whom looked to be in a daze, probably reeling from their dissolution and subsequent reappearance. “They’re all still here. I can feel Heaven and Hell. And you’re still here.”
“Don’t sound too disappointed,” God said. “Did you really think I would let Michael win? Erasing everything all at once, how sloppy. The sheer fucking hubris, thinking she could play Me. I couldn’t let it stand. So I gave us both what we wanted. A compromise.”
“I can feel the other world,” Crowley said. His hand was shaking in Aziraphale’s grip. “It’s just beyond our plane of existence, like an echo of an echo.”
“A brand new universe,” God said. “Squeaky clean, to balance this one out. Two sides of the same coin. You two would know all about that.”
“But if this world is still the same—” Aziraphale looked at Crowley in a panic. “We didn’t go through all this just for you to end it again.”
God shook her head. “There’s no more Great Plan. No more Armageddon. Heaven and Hell will stick to the business of handling dead souls.” She smiled. “It’ll be interesting to see how the humans manage on their own. I didn’t design them to last longer than six thousand years. Should be fun to watch.”
“Just more characters to entertain you,” Crowley said.
“If you’d prefer I make it go away—” She raised a hand.
“No!” Aziraphale said, giving Crowley a stern look. “No. We’re quite happy with our world the way it is.”
“I’m so glad you approve,” she said sardonically. “And who knows, maybe in the other world, some version of you two will meddle in things as well. Or maybe you’ll just be two dreadfully boring humans like all the rest of them.”
She stood up abruptly. “I’m done here. Enjoy eternity.”
And then God was gone.
Immediately, Aziraphale pulled Crowley in for another hug, clinging to him to reassure himself that they were both still alive.
“Did that really just happen?” Crowley murmured into Aziraphale’s hair.
“It did. We’re still here, and apparently, some other versions of us.”
“Hard to imagine us as humans,” Crowley said. “I’d probably be something exciting. Like a spy. Or a cowboy.”
Aziraphale laughed, and felt some of his tension drain away. “Well. Whatever those versions of us end up being, I hope they’re happy.”
“As long as they have each other, they will be. Just like we do.”
“I still can’t believe we have the rest of our lives to do as we wish,” Aziraphale said. “It’s almost too good to be true.”
“You’re too good to be true.” Crowley cupped Aziraphale’s face. “Never leave me again.”
“Never,” Aziraphale promised, and kissed him.
After a while, Crowley reluctantly pulled back. “Maybe we should go check on the humans? They’re gonna take a while to recover from this.”
“Hmm.” Aziraphale looked out the window. “There doesn’t seem to be any immediate crisis. And look! Jesus is back.”
Crowley followed his gaze to see Jesus comforting a shaken Ms Sandwich. “Good for him. He’s gonna finally get a chance to live his life out, poor bloke. Should we go say hello?”
“He seems to be fine for now,” Aziraphale said. “Maybe we could take a few moments for ourselves first? Upstairs?”
“Angel, I don’t think now is a good time to go back to Heaven—”
“I meant upstairs in the bookshop, Crowley.” Aziraphale raised his eyebrows.
“Oh. Oh!” Understanding bloomed on Crowley’s face. “Yeah, upstairs. Good. The humans can wait for an hour.”
“Or three.” Aziraphale winked, and Crowley gulped.
“You’re a menace, you know that?”
“You love it,” Aziraphale said, already marching toward the stairs.
“Yeah,” Crowley said. “I do.”