Chapter Text
Kasane Teto
The love wasn't genuine.
Kasane Teto bowed and tried her best to look happy as her fans applauded her. Forcing a smile onto her face, she waved and struck a few poses as she slowly inched away from the stage, and below, her fans. Well, they were supposed to be her fans. But Teto knew their love wasn't genuine.
It had never been.
"Kasane Teto!"
Teto just barely stopped herself from leaping into the air. Instead, she turned to face her manager. "Oh, uh, hi!" She tried.
"Your fans want to see you!" He didn't let Teto protest before continuing. "It's sweet, really-they've brought all sorts of gifts for you!"
That's right. Gifts. Gifts with no thought behind them, just the hope that they'll become my best friends or something.
"Go!" Her manager exclaimed, shoving Teto towards the door.
Teto nodded, cursing her terrible life under her breath. Pushing open the door, cameras swarmed her vision, and she shielded her eyes. "Hey," she called.
The following cheers and screams were deafening, but Teto continued smiling. Somehow, no one noticed how fake it was. "Thank you," Teto announced, pouring positivity into her voice. "I'm so grateful I could be here with all of you." Teto had rehearsed this script enough to know it by heart. "I'm thankful for every one of you who have allowed me to come this far and pursue my dreams of becoming who I am now." Bowing again, Teto posed for a few photos and gracefully accepted the flowers and gifts thrown towards her. "Thank you," she repeated. "I love you all!"
"We love you!" Her fans screamed, sounding insane.
Probably because they are. No normal person would want a stranger to- Teto stopped before she could traumatize herself with the terrible things her so-called "fans" had told her. Teto grinned, posed, and made a heart with her hands before retreating back into the darkness. Into the silence. Into the loneliness. Away from one terrible aspect of her life, and into another.
"Kasane Teto!"
No matter how many times she had reminded him, her manager refused to call her "Teto".
"You have an appointment with the dietitian today!"
No matter how many times she had reminded him, her manager refused to speak in an acceptable volume.
Teto's manager raised an eyebrow at her as he glanced at her arms. "Have you been following your diet?" He questioned.
Teto nodded.
Her manager, for once, was silent. Without saying a word, he pointed down the hall towards the dietitian's office.
As Teto stepped towards the office, she held up one of her bony arms. To most people, it was probably better than perfect. To her …
Her entire body was disgusting.
She hated it.
It wasn't her body, and she wanted to be rid of it.
Breathing in and ignoring the voices in her head, Teto pulled open the door, even though she wanted to tear her heart out of her chest.
And watch it bleed.
She wanted to watch the blood drip from her beautiful, broken body.
No one would care about her death. No one would care about the death of Kasane Teto.
They'd only care that their favorite idol was gone.
"Hi, Teto! How are you?"
"Good," Teto managed.
The dietitian smiled. "That's great news to hear! Have you been following your diet?"
Teto nodded.
"Aw, you're such a good person!"
What you mean is, I'm obedient and not brave enough to speak up. But I won't correct you. My entire life is out of my hands, anyway.
The dietitian ran her fingers over Teto's arms. They went over the standard procedure Teto had memorized after the first few visits, which was mostly the dietitian asking Teto if she'd stayed on her diet and Teto being weighed. As Teto waited for the dietitian to compare her weight with her last visit, she absentmindedly picked at her skin.
Trying to pick all the disgusting parts off.
The parts that were wrong.
The parts that Teto wanted to watch bleed.
She wanted to watch her arms, and her legs, and her body bleed.
And no one would care.
"Teto…"
"What?" Startled, Teto glanced back up at the dietitian. She immediately flinched at the dietitian's grim expression.
"You've gained weight again."
Again.
"This is the third week in a row," the dietitian continued. Teto could tell she was trying to be gentle, but it didn't soften the impact of the words.
Again.
I'm broken.
I shouldn't be like this. I'm supposed to be perfect, not this broken mess.
Teto picked at her arms again, this time with purpose. She wanted to watch herself bleed.
She deserved to bleed.
She deserved to die.