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Trinity Santos stomped up the blustery sidewalk on a miserable Tuesday evening in October. She had just survived another shift in the Pitt and instead of drowning her sorrows in alcohol she had promised her therapist that she would try something healthy for once.
“Nothing against primal scream therapy, Trinity, but maybe we give your liver a break once in a while? Besides no one wants a hungover doctor treating them,” the counselor, a lovely gen x woman unwilling to tolerate bullshit, had suggested. Which found Trinity yanking open a glass front door and sliding into a building filled with heavy punching bags hanging from the ceiling by heavy chains.
“Hey, welcome to demon hour!” A burly bald dude covered in tattoos called from the front desk. “Come get your waiver signed.”
Trinity hitched her backpack over her shoulder, sliding through a group of people milling about, filling out paperwork and wrapping their hands.
“First time?” He asked, glancing at the name. Santos nodded. “This one is on the house. You got wraps and gloves?”
“Yeah,” she patted her back pack. “It's been a minute but I've trained before. Krav and kickboxing.”
“Fuck yeah, welcome in. Go set your stuff in a cubby and grab a bag. Class starts in like 5.”
Santos nodded once more, feeling awkward as she walked to the cubbies against the wall and pulled out her hand wraps and gloves. With a practiced hand, she twisted the long strips of fabric around and between each finger, careful to support each joint and knuckle. If she hurt her hand Dr. Abbott would just give her shit and Dr. Al may well send her home, neither was an option she wanted to entertain. She had just siddled up a black heavy bag and given it a light tap when her eyes caught a streak of auburn by the front door.
Cassie McKay strode in and immediately met the man at the desk with a broad smile.
“Killer McKay, where the hell you been?” He asked, crossing from behind the desk to give the lithe doctor a bear hug.
“Switched shifts for a few weeks for Mom stuff. How you doing, Doug?”
“Can't complain. You better go grab a bag before we get going, though.”
Cassie patted him on the arm once more before heading into the classroom and tossing her bag against the wall with practiced ease. Santos kept her eyes on the older doctor the entire time she wrapped her hands and slid on worn black boxing gloves, only looking down when Cassie turned to face her. A wry smile crossed Cassie’s face as she picked the bag next to Santos.
“Doctor,” Cassie winked.
“Doctor,” Santos replied with a nod, just as all the overhead lights went out and red strobe lights began to pulse from the back of the shop. Blaring metal guitar blasted through the surround sound as the instructor a tiny blonde chick with red devil horns on burst into the room.
“Demons, let's rage! Get those gloves up! Let's go!”
A few of the other boxers howled in response as the music throbbed. Santos took a deep breath and allowed herself to forget about medicine and everything else outside of this room as she raised her gloves to nose level and waited for instruction.
For the next hour, the tiny she-devil barked out punch combinations over the roar of heavy metal, the creaking of chains and the muffled thuds of hands hitting canvas. Sweat burned into Santos’ eyes, her lungs burned with exertion but there was no way she was gonna tap out with Cassie McKay standing right behind her. Finally, the overhead lights switched back on, blinding the room as choral music played.
“Yessss, you did it! Good job. Now drink your water, clean up your station. Be good to yourselves.”
Santos rested her sweaty head against the bag, dripping onto the black material in a satisfying way. A rough poke pushed her shoulder forward.
“Nice job, Doctor,” Cassie huffed, her voice rougher than normal. Santos turned and gave a quick nod of acknowledgement.
“Jesus, remind me to kick my therapist’s ass.”
“May wanna take a few more classes before you try that,” Cassie quipped, yanking off her gloves. Santos laughed and then gasped for a breath.
“So, you come here often? Santos asked while pulling sweaty wraps off her wrists. Cassie raised her eyebrows at Santos. “Not like that! Just curious.”
“Uh, yeah,” Cassie looked down to roll her wraps carefully. “It was highly recommended by the judge that I find healthier ways to address my anger…”
“Yeah my therapist wants me to give my liver a vacation from late nights and bar tabs,” Santos replied and Cassie nodded in understanding.
“Well listen, not to be a bad influence, but there's a bar next door with amazing burgers. Wanna replace some of the calories we just burned?”
“We good to go like this?” Santos gestured at her sweaty tshirt and soaked hair. Cassie smirked.
“Yeah, let's say I've looked way worse. It'll be cool.”
After a quick toweling off, both doctors left with thanks to the staff, hurrying down the sidewalk without much talking. Cassie reached the solid metal door first and wrenched it open with a practiced pull.
“Ladies first,” she offered, instantly laughing when Santos met her with a raised middle finger. They paused for a moment to let their eyes adjust to the light before stepping into the dark bar and settling into a booth against the wall.
“Cassie…” a worn out man in his 50s sighed.
“Just here for burgers after boxing, Jason,” Cassie shot back. “Can a girl get some menus and waters in this shit hole?”
“A girl? Sure. You? I don't know…” the bartender said, settling down two large waters and plastic menus on the table in front of them. “New friend?” He nodded at Santos. Cassie shook her head.
“Coworker at the circus.”
“In that case,” he reached back out and snatched the menus back. “I'll be ordering for the doctor's this evening. Sit tight.”
He disappeared to the back, leaving Santos to glance around at the beer signs, Polaroids and…
“Is that your mug shot?” Santos asked, shocked. Cassie glanced over her shoulder.
“Technically, it's two of them,” Cassie sighed before taking a slurp of water. “First one was from a fight when I was in undergrad. Second one was. More recent.”
“When you beat your ex's girlfriend’s ass?”
“She came to my spot! Got drunk, trashed the place. And then she started a fight with me!” Cassie ticked off on her fingers. Santos threw her hands up in defense.
“Whoa Killer,” she said. “If you swung on her she probably deserved it.”
“Yeah well be that as it may, it nearly got my kid taken away. So now I box and blast heavy metal.”
“Respect.”
The bartender returned with two towering burgers.
“Bacon cheeseburgers with grilled peppers and avocado. Don't say a fucking word, I know neither of you have eaten enough in the last twelve hours. One has fries, one has onion rings, split them how you want,” he paused to make eye contact with Santos, “Call me over if you wanna order a drink. Otherwise keep it down, y'all's shop talk turns the customer's stomachs.”
Both women dove into the burgers with gusto.
“Oh my God,” Santos mumbled around her first bite.
“I know right?”
They ate without mercy for a few minutes before finally pausing to breathe and sip water.
“So you're from Pittsburgh, right? You planning on staying here after your residency ends next year?” Santos asked, stretching for something to talk about with Cassie. Truth was, though they spent hours and hours together every week they didn't often get the chance to talk about anything not relating to patient care. Cassie nodded around another bite of burger and wiped her mouth before answering.
“Yeah, my family is all here, Harrison loves his school. We'll see how it works out, though, the fellowship track is a bitch and a half. What about you?”
“Oh I have a long time before I need to think about my plans after residency,” Santos sighed.
“Eh, don't let it sneak up on you. One second you're learning to put in IVs and the next you're doing research on reptile bites to get a hospital to cover your salary.”
Santos snorted into her burger, laughing despite herself. Cassie fixed her with a little smirk.
“Can I ask…?”
Santos met her eye.
“Mel didn't feel like joining tonight?”
Santos swallowed roughly. As a demonstration for how her and Melissa King’s relationship had changed over the past few months, Santos chose honesty over sarcasm.
“No, the noise and lights are not at all her vibe,” this time Trinity fixed the older woman with her own look. “What, Crash isn't into mortal combat?”
Cassie had the grace to cough into her fist before responding.
“No, she ah, actually goes to hot yoga across town,” Cassie admitted, taking another quick sip of cold water.
“Of course she does,” Santos couldn't help herself. Cassie fixed her with a glare. “Now now, Killer, don't get your scrubs in a bunch.”
“Okay there Sport, God someone needs to give you a fucking nickname already,” Cassie snapped. Santos chuckled, keeping Mel’s preferred name to herself. “In any case, there's nothing wrong with Javadi doing yoga instead of boxing.”
“Oh, no indeed, I'm sure her flexibility comes in handy,” Santos replied. Cassie took a deep breath in through her nose. “Oh lighten up, McKay, I mean no disrespect, y'all are cute together or whatever.”
Cassie sputtered, about to argue that there wasn't anything going on between her and the med student, that she just gives her rides home sometimes and sometimes they talk outside her house for awhile before Victoria gets out… She quickly pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. Trinity reeled back in shock.
“Oh shit, you haven't tapped that yet? Fuck, my bad. I thought that was a thing since like July.”
“What? No! Wait. Are you actually hooking up with Mel?!” Cassie asked, more than a little surprised herself.
“Uh yeah, since July. Shit, maybe that's why I misjudged, just had sex colored glasses on. My bad, girlie pop.”
Cassie shook her head out, clearing her thoughts as Jason wandered back over.
“Shit, to hell with this, you want a beer?” Santos asked, embarrassed. Cassie immediately shook her off.
“No, I don't drink actually. I've been sober for ten years.”
Santos let out a low whistle.
“Shit, go you. I couldn't imagine doing residency without happy hour. Okay that sounds bad…”
Cassie waved her off.
“No it's okay. If I only went to happy hour after work I may still be able to drink but unfortunately I'm an addict.”
Santos nodded uncomfortably, trying not to think of Langdon and failing completely.
“For the record,” Cassie interrupted Santos’ internal bashing, “You did the right thing with Langdon. He may not admit it but you probably saved his life and God knows how many patients he could've treated.”
“Wow. I figured you would hate me for being a narc.”
“Eh, narc is just another word for someone who didn't put up with an addict’s bullshit. Trust me, if anything, people are more embarrassed that you figured him out on your first day when everyone worked with him for years…”
Santos thought back to Robby’s face when she initially reported her suspicions.
“That said,” Cassie mused, more to herself than anything, “There used to be this bar across town, the Flamingo, that I used to work at. Oof I used to be the worst bartender in the history of alcohol there. I stole? Had sex with my drug dealer boyfriend… God on my last night there I puked in the ice machine at 10pm, they had to burn it all down…” Cassie winced, munching on an onion ring. “I think of that place and… man I'm so fucking grateful I didn't have to go back there after rehab so I didn't set a quarter of a million in debt on fire, you know?”
Santos considered this silently.
“Now, Langdon is an ass and Lord knows he doesn't deserve the chance he's on but… you gotta admit it takes some courage to keep coming back to the place you hit rock bottom without scraping the ground again.”
“So far,” Santos allowed. Cassie nodded around another bite.
“Oh hundred percent. Relapse is a part of recovery. I don't envy his path, I just had to stop going to the Flamingo. Look at what that poor schmuck has to do,” Cassie laughed ruefully. Jason hovered on the edge of their conversation. “Still want that beer?”
“You know what, I think I'll pass tonight.”
Jason gave a nod and wandered off to another group down the bar. Santos munched for a few moments, considering.
“So. If you've been sober for ten years, that means you were sober when your ex’s girlfriend attacked you drunk… and you still beat her ass…”
“Look, I said I was sober, not a saint. Bitch had it coming; she threw a drink on Jason and broke two glasses.”
“Would you do it again?”
“Shit…” Cassie drawled, biting her lower lip in thought. “I've spent a lot of time and money to get out of the mess that fight got me into… let's hope the healing version of me comes out before the old version does.”
“Let's say someone does a code hula hoop on Crash-”
“Like you won't be throwing elbows next to me and Dana if that happens,” Cassie interrupted.
“Okay fair, but what if Dr. Shamsi pops off with some out of pocket shit…”
Cassie looked away, gritting her teeth. She could not wait until she could tell off Victoria's mom without jeopardizing her place in the program.
“Wait, is that why you haven't,” Santos paused to gesture lewdly at Cassie. Cassie gave her another fierce look.
“We haven't done anything inappropriate because we have a professional relationship, Dr. Santos.”
“Well that is fucking stupid. Who cares if you two bone? You're both adults, it's consensual, it's mutual. You're not some creepy cis dude holding a promotion over her head. If anything, she has the power because of who her parents are,” Santos used a fry dipped in ketchup as her talking stick. “Besides, sex is good for stress. I've done the research.”
Cassie chuckled. Santos leaned in and went in for the kill.
“McKay, look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn't have gone absolutely feral at the thought of bagging a red headed mommy in her forties when you were twenty.”
Cassie coughed again, holding up one finger.
“Okay, none of that mommy daddy shit. I actually have a kid, the last thing I want is someone else’s maternal expectations.”
“So let her have her way with you already. I swear that girl is gonna melt into a pile of goo, watching you with those heart eyes.”
Cassie gulped at her water, forcing herself not to imagine Javadi straddling her and whispering in her ear… she shook her head out, ignoring Santos’ smirk.
“So you and Mel, huh? Boy is Robby gonna be surprised by that one,” Cassie tried changing the subject.
Santos smiled as she played with an onion ring.
“No one is more surprised than me, I'll say that much for free. You think he'll mind?”
Cassie shook her head.
“Nah, he's a softie at heart. If you two are happy and keep it in your pants at work he won't care.”
“I could say the same about you and a certain social media maven…”
“She can't even rent a car yet!”
“Then it's a good thing she's got your Subaru driving ass to look after her.”
Jason laughed in the background before Cassie could muster a good insult.
“Why are you so invested in this?” Cassie asked before taking another bite. Santos looked away, studying the TV in the corner before answering.
“Crash is a good kid and somehow she's gotten this far without being crushed by the world. I get the overwhelming suspicion that that wasn't true for either of us at her age… And someone needs to tame that brat and we both know which of us is better suited to that task.”
Cassie popped her jaw, deeply considering her next words.
“You know, for a pain in the ass you're pretty decent. Got a good hook too, it seems.”
“Thanks…” Santos gathered her courage, “We should do this again sometime. You're pretty cool to talk to outside of work. And Mel goes to Tuesday family groups at Becca’s.”
“Wow, look at all of us with our healthy coping techniques… Robby could learn a thing or two from us.”
“Speaking of healthy coping techniques, sleeping with a future psychiatrist is basically free therapy for both of y'all so like…”
This time Cassie snorted water and sprayed it across the bar laughing.
“Fuck. You,” she gasped between sobs of laughter, pulling Santos into the laughter with her.
“Ah shit, my bad Jason,” Trinity pulled out her wallet and took out her card, “This one is on me.”
Cassie opened her mouth to argue.
“Save your money for the spoiled med student. Besides you have a whole ass kid. Whitaker finally gets a paycheck at least.”
“Fine, but only because preteen boys are impossible to feed and for no other reason!”
“The lady doth protest too much, me thinks.”
“Okay Shakespeare,” Cassie snorted, yanking the door open for them both. They shivered in the cool fall air against their damp skin. “God, I just wanna shower and go to bed.”
“Same,” Trinity said, tapping a quick message on her phone, grinning widely. “Of course, my shower is going to be a bit more crowded than yours… if only you had a hot med student just finishing up yoga to call.”
“I'm not bothering Javadi, fuck off Santos!” Cassie yelled, exasperated but somehow amused. “Tell Mel hey.”
“I shall. Doctor,” Santos offered a jaunty salute. Cassie chuckled and saluted back.
“Doctor.”
The two women drifted in opposite directions into the cold Pittsburgh night.