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He could walk across a tightwire without the fear of falling. He could soar through the sky with the confidence that he’ll land on his feet. He’s faced down ordinary men one week and the next, he’s fighting those that could only be described as gods. And he’s done it all with a smirk and a quip. He could do it over and over again with no trepidation. He was born to be a hero. And yet…
And yet it was those buildings that left him feeling disoriented. The murmurings of the hospital staff, the sterile smell, the lights that shone too bright. They remind him of that late night call all those years ago. The hallway felt neverending as he ran through them, desperately seeking her room. He was close to throwing up when he saw her on that hospital bed, tubes sticking out of her, machines surrounding her, keeping her alive.
They chose that line of work, to fight for a better tomorrow day in and day out. They knew the risks, they knew that someday there wouldn’t be anymore time for them. But it’s easy to think you’re immune to death when enough time goes by. They felt like they were immortal.
Then a bullet lodged itself in her spine and time stopped.
~
Dick awoke with a start, heart hammering away in his chest, body shaking like a leaf. It took him a few moments to collect himself. He hadn’t had that dream in a very long time.
He swallowed against the dry feeling in his throat and looked over to Barbara’s side of the bed. There she remained, still fast asleep. Still alive. He released a shuddered sigh and reached out to lightly brush a lock of her hair behind her ear. The tears started to ricochet down his face as he breathed in her sweet and familiar scent.
Minutes passed as he desperately sought sleep again but every time he closed his eyes, he would see those bright lights and hear the beeping of the machines. He pushed himself out of their bed, careful not to wake her, and stumbled to the living room. He sat on the couch and curled into himself, letting the lights of the city wash over him from the windows.
Deep breath in, deep breath out, over and over again.
Dick lost track of time as he sat in the dark of the room, begging for his heart to slow its beating. His emotions were roaring in his blood stream, making everything fade away. He was taught by the best. Taught to feel, see, hear things that others would brush aside or ignore. So he was only slightly embarrassed when Barbara came to him minutes later without him realizing.
“Hey.”
Dick startled and looked up to see her watching him closely. He released a heavy exhale after a few moments and held his arm out to which she gladly rolled herself over. Once she was close enough, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and rested his forehead to her temple. Again, her scent that meant home wafted over him.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, voice like gravel.
He released a shaky exhale, “Nothing, just… a nightmare.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked after a beat of silence passed them by.
He clung tighter to her, buried his face into the crux of her neck, inhaled deeply like he was trying to absorb her through his skin. Her soft yet calloused hand cupped the side of his neck, her thumb lightly caressing his skin. He breathed deeper.
“I hate hospitals.”
“Yeah?”
Dick nodded his head, “I’m always going to think of you laying up in that hospital bed.”
Barbara turned her head slightly and pressed her lips to his hair.
“I could’ve lost you,” he murmured, not bothering to hide the way his voice cracked.
“You didn’t. You never will,” she said with conviction.
He lifted his head to look into her eyes and fell into the warmth of them. There was no guarantee in this world or in their line of work for such promises. But he accepted her words either way and held on to the moment as hard as he could.
“Come on,” she said as she lightly tugged on his hand, “let’s go make some pancakes.”
A smile then tugged at the corner of his lips.