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He hasn’t been sleeping.
“You need to rest,” Hoseok chides, rubbing a hand over his shoulders to loosen the tense muscles there. “Seriously.”
“I know, I know,” Jungkook brushes the hand away, rolls his shoulders. He straightens, shaking off the tiredness as he stares ahead at Yoongi. Hoseok remains mercifully silent, and Jungkook lets himself watch Yoongi bump his shoulder into Namjoon’s side, watches Namjoon laugh and throw an arm over his shoulders.
“You should say something,” Hoseok says after a few minutes. The moment has passed, and Hoseok is good like this, good at reading when he should speak. Jungkook laughs.
“I really shouldn’t,” he says, turning and looking at Hoseok. His friend just shrugs.
“You never know,” he says, hands in his pockets now. Jungkook loops his arm with Hoseok’s and they keep walking.
*******
“Who’s there?”
Yoongi’s voice is low and scratchy, but he sits up in his bed and squints at the door way. He sighs, recognizing Jungkook right away.
“Jungkook, come here,” he says, dropping back onto the mattress and waving him over. Jungkook does, and Yoongi can hear the soft click of the door closing, Jungkook’s timid steps toward the bed.
“Yes, hyung?” Jungkook is tentative.
“Shut up,” Yoongi grins, opening his arms to Jungkook. “You came for cuddles, and cuddles you shall receive. Now get in here, it’s getting cold.”
Jungkook scrambles into the bed, and Yoongi is embarrassingly fond. He ends up snuggled into Jungkook’s warmth, instead of it being the other way around, and he sighs happily.
“Night, hyung,” Jungkook whispers, and Yoongi tries to hide his smile.
*******
They’re going on a road trip. Namjoon is the one to suggest it, his watchful eye over Taehyung making him think they all need to escape for a bit. Everyone is on board, of course, and Seokjin says they can use his car as long as he’s the only one who drives.
“What are you packing?” Jungkook is sprawled on his bed, as he seems to be doing more and more lately. Yoongi grins at him, tosses a shirt at his face. Jungkook just makes a noise from under it, and Yoongi laughs.
“Shirts, pants, sweaters, socks,” Yoongi shrugs, and Jungkook hums as he sits up and folds the shirt, places it on the corner of the bed. “Nothing fancy. It’s just us.”
He watches Jungkook go tense all over, open his mouth like he’s about to speak.
“If only,” he ends up saying, and it’s so quiet that Yoongi almost misses it.
“Yeah?” he asks, and Jungkook looks up at him. He’s still sitting on his bed, the bed they’ve shared every night for almost a month now. It’s gotten to the point where Jungkook doesn’t even go to his own room, just comes yawning into Yoongi’s.
Yoongi nods, folding a shirt and placing it on the bed. He lets out a little breath, nodding again. “Yeah.”
*******
Yoongi’s gone quiet.
Jungkook doesn’t want to push, doesn’t want to pry at the doors of the walls Yoongi builds around himself sometimes, but he’s worried. They stopped at the side of the road, and have made a fire in an empty lot outside a warehouse. It was loud and bright for a bit, music playing and fire licking high up into the night, sparking as they threw things at it, but that has passed. They’re all quiet, if Jungkook’s being honest, but Yoongi’s being Quiet.
“Hey,” he says, elbowing Yoongi gently. He lets himself be jostled, doesn’t even blink. “Want something to eat?”
It takes a second, but Yoongi shakes his head. Jungkook takes the bag of pretzels he’d held out as an offering, and sticks a few in his mouth before passing it off.
Seokjin grabs it, and the bag crinkles loudly in the muted darkness of their circle. Yoongi inhales slowly, and Jungkook watches him hold it. He closes his eyes, flicks the lighter on, and exhales just as slowly.
“Hey,” Jungkook whispers, so quiet, after Yoongi breathes in and out like that a few more times. Yoongi pauses in the downtime between breaths, and Jungkook knows he’s listening. “I’m here.”
This makes Yoongi open his eyes again as he inhales, and he looks over to meet Jungkook’s gaze. Jungkook nods once, solid and steady, and Yoongi breathes out through his mouth as he nods back, quick and tiny but not as trapped as before.
“Yeah,” he says. Jungkook hums, smiling gently.
“Can I lay on you?” Yoongi looks a little flighty, like he’s gonna get up and sprint away the way he does now when he feels too wound up, instead of lashing out and getting violent. But then he looks back up at Jungkook’s face, and his expression softens. He hums.
Jungkook tries to stop the happy flutter in his chest, but Yoongi just seems to spark it in him no matter what, always, every damn time he does anything at all, and he’s learnt to roll with it. He lays down, head on Yoongi’s thigh.
The lighter flicks on, the pulse of warmth near the crown of Jungkook’s head, and he lets it happen a few times before he leans up on his elbow, and blows out the little flame.
Yoongi makes a small noise like he’s confused, and Jungkook just lays on his thigh again, smiles up at him.
“I’m here,” he says, and closes his eyes.
Yoongi puts the lighter in his pocket, and doesn’t have to take it out for the rest of the night.
*******
They go to the ocean, drive across the huge expanses of sand recklessly and happily. The wind is light and sweet with salt and sun as it whips through the car.
“I fucking love this!” they hear Taehyung yell from the truck bed, and the four of them in the car laugh along. Yoongi turns around to peek out the back window at the three younger ones who are sitting in the bed of the truck and yelling. He catches Jungkook’s eye and they both grin at each other.
They park somewhere, get out and run everywhere. They’re loud but their voices are swallowed up by the sky, the sun so bright and infusing them with energy.
Everyone is happy, so pleased to be alive, and Yoongi can’t even try to remember what he was so fucked up over the night before. Right now they’re alive, they’re together, and they’re happy.
At one point, Jungkook runs up to him and hugs him from behind.
“I love you!” he cries, drunk on the sea and the sand as he presses his face into Yoongi’s sun warmed skin. Yoongi lifts his hands to hold onto Jungkook’s arms across his chest, and they waddle along pressed together.
“Love you too,” Yoongi says, looking over his shoulder to look at Jungkook.
“You have to yell it,” Jungkook is so smiley, the gold of his skin accentuated against the soft blue sky that overwhelms them. He lets go of Yoongi, stepping back and dropping to his knees, eyes shut and hands clenched into fists as he yells again. “I love you!”
“I love you too!” Yoongi turns around to yell it right at him, and they grin at each other for a second, before Yoongi moves closer. He leans over Jungkook, who goes a little stiller at the proximity. Yoongi knows Jungkook thinks he’s going to kiss him, knows he wants to kiss Jungkook, but instead he just boops Jungkook on the nose and smiles.
“Tag,” he says, and then spins and sprints away. Jungkook jumps to his feet, runs after him as Yoongi heads towards their group again, yelling about how Jungkook is It. They all scatter quickly, taunting Jungkook until he catches Jimin, grabs him around the waist and tackles him to the ground.
Jungkook jogs up to Yoongi after, and they watch Jimin catch up to and jump on Hoseok, smothering him in kisses in the sand.
“You good?” he asks, out of breath, and Yoongi turns to look up at him. He has to shield his eyes, the sun and Jungkook both so bright.
“I’m good, yeah,” he’s smiling really wide, and Jungkook joins in. “I’m really good.”
*******
They stop at a gas station, and Jungkook is lying in the bed of the truck. Taehyung and Jimin are sleeping cuddled into each other, sharing warmth, but Jungkook hasn’t been able to fall asleep. He tries to pretend it’s not because Yoongi isn’t beside him, but he can’t.
Someone opens the car door and slips out, and Jungkook closes his eyes, pretends to be sleeping.
“Jungkook,” Yoongi murmurs, a smile in his voice, and Jungkook keeps his eyes closed.
“I know you’re not sleeping, c’mon,” he tries again, and Jungkook cracks an eye open, smiles a little when he sees Yoongi’s sleep messy hair.
“Hey,” Jungkook is sweeter here, softer than he normally is, and he knows it, can feel how his walls are down. “You okay?”
Yoongi leans on the side of the truck bed, lays his head on his arms. He hums in assent, eyes droopy, and Jungkook sits up, careful not to jostle the sleeping boys. Once he’s upright, his face is very close to Yoongi’s. He can feel the warmth rolling off him, and he wants so much to fall asleep with him again.
“You?” Yoongi asks, and Jungkook can see every one of his eyelashes as his eyes flutter sleepily.
Jungkook shrugs. “This is really fun,” he starts. His fingers tangle in his lap, and he nods. “I love our friends, and I’m glad to be out of the city.”
Yoongi waits. “But?”
He can’t speak for a moment, can’t wrangle the words together into something honest and concise. “I miss you.”
It seems to be the right thing to say, because Yoongi smiles gently, hums again. “I miss you too.”
Jungkook watches his eyes slip closed, watches his breathing grow deeper in that way it does when he’s completely calm. He could kiss him, Yoongi is so close and his mouth it pouted cutely and he wants to, god, does he want to.
“Let’s head out,” Namjoon says, not overly loud, but it’s enough to make Yoongi jump, eyes opening sharply. He blinks twice at Jungkook, and then his eyes dart down to his lips for a long second.
“Okay,” Yoongi says, responding to Namjoon, but he doesn’t stop staring at Jungkook’s mouth.
“See you later?” Jungkook asks, and it’s quiet again, just them. Yoongi inhales, nods.
“Yeah,” he pushes off the side of the truck bed. “See you later.”
Jungkook lays back down, and as they get back on the road again, he stares up at the sky instead of sleeping.
He can’t seem to stop smiling.
*******
Yoongi wakes up because of the sun. The car is silent, the whole world seems to have quieted, and Yoongi reaches above himself to stretch. When he settles back into his seat, he checks out the back window to see if the younger ones are awake or not. Jimin and Taehyung are asleep, curled together again, keeping warm. Jungkook isn’t there, though, so Yoongi opens the car door as quietly as he can and slips out onto the dock.
It’s absolutely quiet, so so still, and Yoongi just stands near the car for a moment, face tipped up to the sky as he basks in the silence. As he tips his head back down, he opens his eyes and spots Jungkook right away, sat at the end of the dock with his legs hanging off.
He’s sweet, his silhouette soft against the horizon, and Yoongi almost doesn’t want to interrupt him. But they’re alone, really alone, for the first time this whole trip, and Yoongi doesn’t want to lose this chance.
He walks over, limbs kind of floppy with drowsiness and drops down beside Jungkook. He lays an arm over his shoulders, and pats him once on the shoulder, and he knows Jungkook is looking at him, knows he’s watching him.
When Jungkook turns to look back at the ocean, Yoongi takes his turn to look. Jungkook’s just so pretty, all of his lines soft and gentle, the curves of his nose and chin and neck so smooth.
He wants to kiss him. And so he does.
It’s just a quick peck on the cheek, Yoongi pulling Jungkook in by his arm around his shoulder and keeping him close as he presses his lips to Jungkook’s cheek swiftly. He ducks his head afterward, kicks his feet under the dock and tries really hard not to blush like crazy and smile until his face hurts. Jungkook is staring at him again.
“Hey,” he says, nudging him a bit with his shoulder. “Can I kiss you?”
Yoongi’s cheeks really are aflame, now, and he turns his face into his left shoulder for a moment before looking back at Jungkook.
“Yes,” he says around an exhale. “Please.”
Jungkook is smiling, so so wide, and so is Yoongi, and it impedes their first kiss a bit, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. Jungkook is soft, the kiss is chaste, and they end up staring and giggling at each other, foreheads pressed together.
“Yeah?” Jungkook asks, and Yoongi laughs, pulling away and looking back out at the ocean.
“Yeah,” he says, looking back at Jungkook sideways. “Really, yeah.”
“Mmm,” Jungkook hums, wriggling closer, pressing his face into Yoongi’s neck and kissing him there. “Me too.”