Work Text:
From the moment he woke up, Goro knew it was one of those days.
He opened his eyes, stared a bit at nothing, and closed them back. The emptiness and coldness of the other side of the bed didn’t help his situation at all. Goro was stupidly exhausted and could already feel the beginning of his irritation at himself because he had things to do. And it didn’t seem at all possible to do them right now. There were dishes waiting to be washed after their dinner yesterday, laundry to be done, and and and—
The list seemed endless and unbeatable, no matter how mundane and simple the tasks before him were. He should honestly just get up and start doing it all while Akira still was out shopping, or the man would return with his hands full of bags, his mundane task perfectly completed. While Goro’s haven’t even been started. That wasn’t fair of course, but besides that it was humiliating. Why Akira could get up, do every thing needed to be done without coaxing himself and bargaining with his own mind and Goro couldn’t even roll out of bed to at least wash up. He was perfectly aware how stupid this wallowing in self-pity was. But oh well. He knows that all these self-deprecating thoughts did nothing to help him with this self-imposed hurdle. Besides it would make Akira stupidly angry to know what he thought of himself right now.
Still. When, if ever, knowing and understanding everything logically has ever helped him with anything regarding his own mind.
Goro didn’t know for how much longer he lay there without doing anything, when he had to get up and start being productive!!!, when he heard the lock being opened and heaved a sigh. Great. But nevertheless, he couldn’t help but feel the flutter of hope under all the self-disappointment. Yes, he have heard this door open hundreds of times already across the span of years, every time letting in this same person, but it seems his pathetically giant feelings still worked against him. Well okay, that wasn’t true, he could already admit, even with no shame. The years helped him accept that everything connected to Akira brought mostly, if not only, positive things into his life. Though to accept that he deserved them was a different thing altogether. Even his weakness for that stupidly wonderful man didn’t have to be something bad.
But that’s beside the point. The aforementioned wonderful man was probably taking his shoes off and wondering why his terrible choice for a partner in life isn’t greeting him. Not in an angry way of fucking course, but a worried one. God and if it didn’t make everything only worse. Goro deserved to be yelled at, to be tired of, he wasn’t upholding his part of the deal at the end of the day, he wasn’t pulling his weight—
“Goro? Are you asleep?”
The voice was so soft and kind and he had to pull himself together and string together an answer.
“No, no I’m awake.” muffled and weak but there.
Akira came into the room a moment later and carefully sat on the bed beside him, bringing his hand to Goro’s hair and carding his fingers through. His gaze searching and his hands gentle.
“Bad day?” Akira’s hand hovered for a second and he brushed the knuckles against Goro’s cheek, who couldn’t help but lean into the touch. Okay, we’ve already established that he’s a weak man.
“I guess so…I’m sorry,” Goro swallowed and continued despite seeing that Akira wanted to start protesting “I am sorry. I ought to do things and i want to do them, but i can’t. And I know you don’t condone my opinion regarding this and you would do everything by yourself if only I let you, but I shouldn’t and I won’t. But today…” he came to a stop not wanting to start excusing himself, but at loss for words otherwise.
Akira continued to gaze at him with all understanding in the world and it was unbearable, he needed to escape, but all he could afford right now is to close his eyes.
He felt the warmth as Akira leaned in, the hand lifting his bangs and lips touching his forehead, eliciting an unconscious hum of pleasure from Goro. He opened his eyes.
“You didn’t eat yet, did you? How about I change, bring us some snacks and stay here with you for a while?” ever the kind and tender Akira. Oh how hard it was to squash down all the self-hatred.
“And don’t apologize for not being fine, Goro, you know better than this” sadness filled his voice and it was like a blade to Goro’s hard.
“I do know, but i still am sorry. You should not be saddled with all of this—”
“Shush. Now wait a bit, I’ll be back.” interrupting and cutting off Goro’s tirade may have been the best tactic in this case, but still. Hmph.
Akira shuffled to the kitchen and by the sound of it unpacked his grocery bags. After several minutes he did indeed come back, threw a bag of chips at Goro and turned to the wardrobe, taking his sweater off. Goro’s gaze slid over Akira’s back, taking in the familiar hills and valleys of the back, still tantalizing and still absolutely beautiful. Akira turned his head back, as if feeling the gaze on himself.
“Staring” he all but purred.
“Might as well” grumbled Akechi, and sat up slowly in the bed reaching for the bag of chips.
Akira finished changing, ditching the top, and simply tugging on pajama pants, the bastard. He proceeded to climb onto the bed, plopping half on top of the other man. Goro silently offered him a chip and Akira took it with his teeth.
“Is there anything else you want?” he asked after finishing chewing.
“No. You. I don’t know,” Goro put half emptied bag of chips on the bedside table. leaning his back on the headboard. Akira hugged him across the torso and nestled his head on his chest, looking up. Goro could barely resist the need to start apologizing for his utter uselessness, but he couldn’t resist this fucking face and leaned down to peck him on the lips. Akira’s lips spread into a smile and he tipped his head to a side.
Having him this close surely did help. The light Akira emitted with his whole being somehow always managed to dull all of Goro’s shadows, if not make them disappear. This warm, soft and tender creature somehow found himself content here, in Goro’s arms, and even though he did not understand it sometimes, he appreciated it nonetheless. Of course Akira was an owner of his fair share of shadows, but Goro, too, tried his best to be of help to tackle them.
“I’m so glad that you’re here with me despite everything” Goro tensed after hearing the whispered words “On the days when you are confident and snarky, when you’re moody and pessimistic, when you’re angry and annoyed. Or when you are tired and want to stay in bed. I love you not despite of them, but through them.”
He couldn’t do anything draw a shuddering breath, hands reaching for other’s face and cradling it, thumbs sliding over the cheekbones.
“I do love you too, and hope to repay you one day for everything I put you through”
“Don’t be silly” Akira butted his forehead with his own. And well, what else were there to do but kiss this utterly annoyingly wonderful man.
So he did.
And hopefully will do every day lying ahead of him, because maybe after all, he did deserve this one good thing in his life. The best he could ever ask for.