Chapter Text
Jill stood on the balcony off the chambers she and Clive shared, taking in the early morning sounds of the Hideaway. It was how she started every morning when she was home.
The Hideaway was busy even at this hour, with Cursebreakers who were about to set off on new missions stopping by the mess for a last consult, Hortense already working at her station, and morning-shift physickers making their way to the infirmary. They vigorously debated tincture dosages as they climbed the stairs, passing by drowsy residents just leaving the bunks to break their fast.
Jill looked up into the sky. The morning light was soft, the sickly gray of the skies not yet so oppressive. It would be worse later, at midday, when they would be able to sense the sun blazing impotently behind the heavy clouds.
Life under Primogenesis grew more oppressive each day as the clouds never lifted, as no wind stirred. Supplies were daily more difficult to come by and more and more contacts across Storm were suddenly unresponsive.
But life under Primogenesis also went on. Origin was ahead and their future was uncertain, but they were here together, for the time being.
At the moment, Clive and Joshua were away on another mission, Torgal accompanying them. She had wanted to join them for this one, but there was much for her to get done here. Besides, she very much enjoyed when they came back.
There would be the moment Joshua caught sight of her. “Jill!” he would say with earnest delight, less ebullient than when he was a child, but no less sweet. He would stride forward, always astonishing her with how much ground he covered with those long legs, eager to tell her about whatever new fascinating thing he had discovered. Then Clive would have to pull him back, saying something like “my turn first,” and stepping forward to embrace her. Joshua usually gave them but a moment before he started chattering on, and Clive would shake his head and smile fondly.
She had both Clive and Joshua again, each of them more whole to have the other. She loved how they would chuckle at something together and then both look at her, like puppies wanting to share the fun, because she was a unit with them. She remembered the first time they had done that, when she was feeling cold and lonely at Rosalith Castle, missing her father and subjected to Anabella’s disapproving eye. It had brought a spark of such warmth it was startling.
Even as the Warden of Ice, she sought out that warmth.
The three of them together, adventuring across a dangerous, dying world, felt like it did when they had scampered across the grounds of Rosalith castle, keeping themselves out of sight of the servants who might report their activities to the Duchess Anabella. Climbing the Sagespire and battling ancient monsters brought her back to climbing castle towers in their youth. Even Joshua’s excited whispering echoing off the walls had felt the same.
She shook her head, remembering how eager she had been to leave the Sagespire behind. It had been an especially disturbing place, with the undead creatures frozen in torment a thousand years past their lifetimes, making the akashic seem natural by comparison. Then there were the tendrils that snaked viciously across the walls and floors, pulsing like a parasitic creature drinking the lifeblood of the spire and everything inside of it.
But a week out from it and back at the Hideaway, she could only remember the experience fondly.
Of course, Origin hung heavy in the sky, making their lives feel small, their bonds mere fragile things. They were as nothing against the will of a god.
But was this so different, really, than the bonds of children thrown against the machinations of duchesses and emperors and Ironblood high priests? They had been innocent, cast asunder, all broken nearly beyond recovery. But still they had survived and come back together, taking down those dark forces on their way.
Their odds against Ultima were not so overwhelming. She had faith.
Still, she did not look forward to when Clive, Joshua, and Dion would take wing to Origin, leaving her behind.
She wanted to fight with them.
She wanted more time.
Even though she believed they would all make it back, she knew that change would come, just as it had after Phoenix Gate. She could not know what it would take for them to get through this next challenge.
Just a little more time. She hoped another missive would await Clive when he returned, calling him to another task before Origin.
For now, she left the balcony and went out onto the main deck to start her day.
She spent the morning with Blackthorne. When she had first asked him to teach her, he had only grunted. Then she had pulled a knife from her boot and placed it in front of him. “I made that when I was ten,” she had said. “I would like to do much better.”
Since then, Blackthorne let her come into his work space whenever she wanted. She did not have time to be a regular apprentice, but when she was there she cleaned the forge and helped to finish pieces. Inevitably, Blackthorne would call her over to show her something in his process.
Afterwards, she moved to the Backyard to cool off a bit. It was always wonderful to be there; the air was incredibly fresh and lush, the colors lively.
In fact, it was strange that the colors were still lively. Cormac, a botanist nearby, thought something similar. “Without sun, these leaves should have withered long ago,” he said, wonderingly.
“They found a way. Life found a way!” Vera, his fellow botanist, responded.
The hope in their voices was a balm. No sun shone through the clouds, but the Backyard seemed bright and warm anyway. Jill took a few more moments, breathing deeply and thinking about finding a way, before moving on.
After a stop at the Tub and Crown for a midday meal, she made for the boarding deck, from which she could make her rounds with Hortense, Otto, Tarja, and then onwards to Mid’s Dungeon. As she stepped through the large circular entryway, her eyes fell on the spot where Joshua usually stood.
It was his favorite spot, she knew, because he could look up towards Origin and think his thoughts, and because a certain prince also stood nearby.
Those two. She knew there was something between them, but Dion was too deeply wounded while Joshua was like Clive: a Rosfield.
They would be so good for each other. If only they had more time. But they didn’t have five weeks, much less five years.
The prince had his arms crossed as usual, brooding. Her heart went out to him.
“Dion,” she said in greeting.
He raised his eyes from the ground, giving her a polite half-smile. “Lady Shiva.”
“Joshua should be back soon.”
Dion looked a little startled at that. “I…thank you.” He looked like he would say something more, but could not find the words.
She wanted to say more to him, about how living through the pain was its own atonement, about how there was so much to live for, about how much his life mattered to them and to someone in particular...But those were a lot of words, and it never seemed quite the right time or place to say all of them.
—-------
Jill found Mid standing at her work table, staring at the schematics beneath her hands.
“Blasted Fallen,” Mid muttered. “If they figured it out I should be able to figure it out.”
“I believe the Fallen had more at their disposal than you do,” Jill said, indicating the workshop around them. “Clive did his best, but this does not compare to what we saw in the Sagespire.”
“The Sagespire,” Mid said. “If only I could just get me hands on one of those airships. I could figure out what I’m missing.”
Jill looked down at the schematics. They illustrated the inside of a hull of a ship, overlaid with circles and squares and tiny notation. Jill was good at many things once she got her hands on them, but these schematics escaped her. Still, she often spent time in Mid’s Dungeon, as her knowledge of weave, fabric, and working materials of all types tended to be useful.
“What is it you’re trying to do?” Jill asked.
Mid sighed, a very un-Mid-like thing to do. “Summat I told Clive I wasn’t goin’ to figure out in time: Give the Enterprise some wings.” She flattened her hand and floated it in front of her, a ship at sail in the clouds. “To carry those three up to Origin. Get ‘em any sort of edge I can.”
Jill had never seen Mid so introspective. Her energy usually went outwards, furiously productive, undauntingly innovative.
But now she let her hand drop to the table. “I even told him I was giving up and hiding the plans for the Enterprise forever. But here I am, still tryin’ and still getting nowhere. And time is running out.”
Time, Jill thought, and not wanting to be left behind. They both wanted to do more, to not leave Clive and Joshua and Dion to take the weight of the world on for them. Mid felt like there just had to be something she could do. Jill felt much the same. “You’re anything but useless, Mid,” she said slowly. An idea formed in her mind, like one of her many projects forming under her hands. “What if…”
Mid quirked an eyebrow at her.
“What if you could get your hands on one of those ships?”
They stood together watching Obolus row Clive, Joshua, and Torgal towards the Hideaway. Mid was brimming with energy, nearly bouncing on her toes, an enormous grin on her face.
Clive caught sight of them as the boat neared. Jill saw his eyes soften when he spotted her, then they took in Mid and narrowed warily.
It didn’t help that Mid waved at them excitedly from the railing as they disembarked and yelled, “Get yourselves up here!”
Jill put a hand on Mid’s arm, which did absolutely nothing to settle her down.
“Do I even want to know?” Clive said as they stepped off the lift.
Jill spoke first, because if Mid did so there would have been immediate protest. “We’re going back to the Sagespire.”
Clive stopped in his tracks. Joshua ran into him. Mid cackled as they righted themselves.
“B-But. I…I thought,” Joshua sputtered. His elegance with words was completely lost in his shock.
She remembered how excited he had been about going back, and how she had cut him off. She regretted that, because now it was clear to her. The Sagespire was where they might find an edge, find a way. If nothing else, it was where they could spend more time together.
It was absolutely essential that they go.
But all of her vehemence was hidden under the surface. All they saw was her calm as she said, “The tower may have vital information about Ultima that we could use.”
There was silence as they took that in. Joshua was the first to recover, his face brightening with delight as it was clear to him they would be going back. Clive could not say no to anyone, let alone her.
“We hardly explored any of it,” Joshua said thoughtfully. “And having Mid with us will greatly aid in our deciphering of–”
“It’s dangerous,” Clive protested weakly.
“It should be much safer now; we destroyed the mothercrystal’s heart and the Eikonoklaste guarding it. All the creatures are most likely dead with nothing to power them.”
“But there could still be–”
“Don’t worry about me, I’ll bring my own guardsman,” Mid said blithely.
Clive frowned at her. “What do you mean?”
She jerked her head toward the prince who stood leaning against the wall, close enough to overhear everything they said. Then she turned and called out to him. “Mr. Fancy Pants! You’re coming with!”
The Sagespire itself was likely to have fewer monsters, but the journey was worse than before, with all the land’s creatures more desperate as the sun remained lost and food became scarce.
This meant that there was more than enough work for their “guardsman,” who could not help himself when it came to opportunities to demonstrate his fighting prowess. He was always scouting ahead, patrolling their camp, and the first one to draw his weapon when yet another death blossom came across their path. The more enemies they encountered, the happier Dion seemed.
Jill was perfectly capable of defending herself, and three Dominants and a Frost Wolf obviously did not need help to keep Mid safe. But Jill was glad that Dion was with them because of how good this was for him, and how happy Joshua was in his presence.
It did not take long for Joshua to join Dion on his scouting and patrols. Even as they simply traversed the path together, they often walked on ahead with Torgal, lost in their own conversation.
Unfortunately, Joshua spending a lot of time with Dion meant Joshua did not spend as much time with Clive, who made his displeasure about the situation very clear.
“What could they still have to talk about?” Clive grumbled a few days in, as Dion and Joshua sat across from them at the campfire, their heads bent close together. Mid was to their right, tinkering with one of her contraptions, Torgal sleeping pressed up against her back for lumbar support.
“They have a lot to catch up on,” Jill said, unable to keep a knowing smile off her face as she watched them. At the Hideaway, Joshua and Dion had been trapped by the weight of their roles; they had been like painted figures, standing so close but never closer, forever held in their moment of waiting. Here on this journey, they were moving and it freed them.
They had started talking, overly polite at first, leaving a certain distance between them. Then that distance had slowly closed, with banter coming more easily. Days in, they found each other upon waking and talked quietly deep into the night. They laughed often, even Dion. There was still a bit of reserve from him, though, as if he could not quite believe that he could enjoy himself.
Joshua was freer with his laughter, and as he chuckled now at something Dion said, Clive shifted with dissatisfaction. “Is he really so amusing?” he said petulantly.
A voice came from behind them, startlingly loud in the quiet night. “Sounds like someone’s jealous.” Mid had somehow moved without them noticing. She plopped herself down close enough that Jill and Clive had to shift automatically, so that it was the three of them in a small council.
“I’m not jealous!” Clive said in an indignant whisper, his eyes sliding over to Dion and Joshua with alarm.
“Oh no?” Mid said, not reducing her volume in the slightest. “What about today after Dion finished off that horde and our bird over there was looking at him with starry eyes?” She crossed her arms and huffed, doing such a good impersonation of Clive that Jill had to cover her mouth to keep herself from laughing.
“Mid!” Clive made another entirely futile shushing motion.
“Don’t you worry,” Mid said. “They can’t hear us. Joshua’s too distracted with how much he wants to get into Mr. Fancy Pants’ fancy pants.”
“I’m not worried–” Clive started, and then his eyes went wide as he finally processed what Mid had said. “He what?”
“They are quite enamoured of each other,” Jill said.
Clive made a strangled noise, obviously wanting to exclaim loudly but still trying to keep his voice down. “How? When?”
Jill answered before Mid could. “I think there has been something there for a long time. I also think they are just discovering some of it now, together.”
“But this isn’t proper,” Clive protested. “Joshua is archduke–”
“Ha!” Mid said, snickering. “What are you expectin’, your lordship? That there’s a prince! He might even be an emperor! This has taken long enough, I’m gonna lose my bet–”
“There are bets?”
Jill put her hands on both of their shoulders and ensured her touch was especially cold to make them both flinch. She needed to calm this down before poor Clive primed from distress.
“Clive,” she said quietly. “Look at how happy he is.”
Clive looked.
He saw what she did. The brightness in Joshua’s eyes. The relaxed set of his shoulders, so different from the slight curve he had from bearing the weight of Origin and the prison in his chest. The color in his cheeks.
“They both need this,” she added. Because Dion’s lips had the barest curve upwards, because his arms were relaxed at his sides, because he was looking at Joshua and not down at the ground.
The three of them were silent as they took this all in, until she felt Clive take her hand and squeeze it.
“Where you’re going will take all of your strength,” she said, squeezing back. “And you know how much strength can be found in love.”
Clive turned to her, his eyes unbearably soft as he understood. “But why…why hasn’t he told me?”
She put a hand on his cheek as warmth swelled in her chest. Clive, the outlaw who could bring terror to even Dominants, was the sweetest man she knew. “I am not certain they know what it is between them, yet. Or perhaps they are each holding back, feeling like they cannot pursue this, given that there is so little time left.”
Time. That word had nearly caught in her throat.
Clive grasped her hand against his cheek and kissed it. Mid cleared her throat.
He turned, looking between her and Mid, a dawning resolution in his eyes. “They have to get together,” he said.
“That’s what I’m talking about!” Mid said.
The rest of the journey to the Sapespire went smoothly and passed all too quickly in Jill’s view. She could spend forever this way, traveling together, camping and taking meals together, watching Clive try to push Dion and Joshua more closely together.
Given that the two of them were already nearly inseparable, Clive’s “pushing” was often literal. He developed an uncharacteristic clumsiness, frequently “accidentally” bumping into Joshua and causing him to trip across Dion’s path. Dion, of course, never failed to catch Joshua, and there was much apologizing and blushing after each of these episodes, to Clive’s satisfaction.
When they were seated beside each other, Clive sat down next to Joshua and kept scooting into his space, forcing Joshua to scoot closer to Dion. Dion, to Clive’s chagrin, would politely make more room.
After a few of these attempts, Jill had to remind Clive that Dion and Joshua should have more privacy to advance the cause. Which then of course meant that Clive started to exhort Jill and Mid to walk slower behind Dion and Joshua to give them said privacy. It wasn’t a terrible stratagem, except eventually they were going too slow, and Joshua and Dion had to wander back in confusion after having found themselves alone.
“We seem to have lost you,” Joshua said sheepishly, knowing full well why he had been distracted.
“We will ensure it does not happen again,” Dion added, entirely too serious.
Clive’s expression was priceless.
But alas, they entered blighted land and too soon found themselves at the Sagespire’s entrance. Jill comforted herself that with both Joshua and Mid joining forces, they would spend plenty of time there.