Chapter Text
Snotlout held the mirror high as he, the twins, Astrid, and Fishlegs entered the Great Hall. He made a beeline for the Chief, eager to show off his find.
“What is this?” Chief Stoick asked, as Snotlout dropped the ornate mirror on the table in front of him.
“This,” Snotlout said, waving his hands over the mirror demonstratively, “is a magic mirror. I found it in the woods, doesn’t matter how. But! Check out these runes around the frame! Fish-face here says these mean this mirror can be used to see the future!”
Chief Stoick made an unconvinced face, but Gobber, at his side, leaned over to take a look at Snotlout’s totally-real-definitely-magic mirror.
“Looks legit to me, Chief,” he said, like he was some kind of authority. Of course, Gobber had been born off of Berk, even if his family was originally from here. He knew a lot of weird things most Berkians never cared to learn about.
“And how, exactly, does it show the future?” Chief Stoick asked, raising one eyebrow.
“I think we just have to ask it, Chief!” Fishlegs said, excited.
“This thing is totally fake. I can’t believe you’re actually wasting the Chief’s time like this,” Astrid hissed.
Snotlout ignored her, waving his hands over the mirror again. “Show me my future self!” he commanded.
Nothing happened.
“See? Fake,” Astrid said smugly, crossing her arms. The twins sighed in disappointment.
“No, no, I think that was actually just too vague. Snotlout, try specifying how far into the future you want to look!” Fishlegs suggested.
Snotlout waved his hands over the mirror. “Show me myself five years into the future!”
To the amazement of everyone gathered, the surface of the mirror rippled like it was made of water and a stone had been dropped into the center. When the ripples passed, a new image was left behind. Not the reflection of the roof of the Great Hall, like it had been before, but the side-view of a man who looked remarkably like Snotlout, but older.
“Holy yak dung, it worked!” Snotlout exclaimed, leaning further over the mirror. “It’s my future self! What is he doing?”
In the mirror, Future-Snotlout was scowling, walking in a group with eight others. Five of them were clearly Future-Astrid, Future-Fishlegs, Future-Ruffnut, Future-Tuffnut, and Future-Hiccup, who had gotten surprisingly tall. The other three were slightly ahead of the group, leading them through an unfamiliar town.
“Is that Hiccup? Wow, he gets tall, huh?” Ruffnut said.
“Is that Dagur?” Snotlout realized, excitedly leaning closer to the mirror to get a better look. “Wow, he gets even cooler in the future!”
“I think that teenager with him might be Gustav Larson,” Chief Stoick said, squinting at the mirror. “Though I don’t recognize the raven-haired lass.”
“These will be phase two,” Gustav said, gesturing at a bunch of panels of wood painted to look like houses. It was clearly a planned expansion of the village which hadn’t quite started construction yet.
“And what will be the difference between phase one and two?” Future-Hiccup asked, a little stiltedly, gesturing back over his shoulder.
“The number. Hello?” Gustav sassed. He turned to talk to Future-Dagur. “Little slow on the uptake over on Dragon’s Edge.”
“What? What is ‘Dragon’s Edge’?” Fishlegs asked. “Or, where? He said that like it’s a place Hiccup lives.”
“I’m not sure, lad,” Chief Stoick answered. He glanced over at Gobber.
“Don’t look at me, I’ve never heard of it,” Gobber said.
Gustav and Future-Dagur laughed, then walked off.
“Yeah, right. It was a stupid question,” Future-Hiccup grumbled, as the group followed Gustav and Future-Dagur.
“Ugh,” Future-Snotlout complained.
The group walked to a new area, still full of wooden cutouts of planned buildings.
“This will be our trading zone. You want it, we got it. You need it, we’ll get it,” Gustav explained, gesturing at various things around them.
“Tell them what you wanna call it, Gusmaster,” Future-Dagur said, as they came to a stop in front of a large wooden cutout, on which was painted the largest planned building, complete with smiling Viking.
“The Wall Market! Get it? Wall Market. Wall Mark-et. Get it?” Gustav asked, gesturing excitedly, repeatedly, to the large cutout, which could definitely be considered a “wall”.
“I—I don’t. But okay,” Future-Hiccup stuttered, exchanging a bewildered look with Future-Astrid, who just crossed her arms and looked uncomfortable.
“Is this incredibly uncomfortable to anyone else?” Tuffnut asked. “Also, completely boring?”
“Genius, this kid! G-nius. Get it? Oh, oh!” Future-Dagur cheered.
“And for la piece de résistance, le Skrill!” Gustav said, spreading his arms to show off a large topiary that had, in fact, been skillfully shaped to resemble a Skrill. “Oh. Yeah. Cue lightning sounds.”
“Isn’t he amazing, Snot-rag? Can’t believe you let this gem of an apprentice get away.” Future-Dagur said, mock-sympathetic, as he put an arm on Gustav’s shoulder.
“Did he just imply that weirdo of a kid used to be my apprentice?” Snotlout asked, reeling back.
“Uh, your apprentice at what? You don’t exactly do anything,” Tuffnut said.
“Excuse me, obviously my apprentice at being a fearsome warrior, Tuffnut!”
“Settle, lads,” Gobber said.
“Shootin’ ‘em out!” Gustav said, ignoring everything and continuing to make various scatting noises that were probably meant to be cool.
A trumpet blew, and Gustav and Future-Dagur turned to each other, giggling. They were obviously brimming with excitement. The group was then led to a sunken area with stone walls, positioned on one of Berserker Island’s many cliffs. Inside was a wooden stage and several wooden benches. They joined the forming crowd, though Future-Dagur broke off to sit in the throne that was centered on the stage.
Slowly, the crowd filled in and the benches filled up. A din of conversation rose in the air. Once it seemed that nobody else was arriving, Future-Dagur stood from his throne and cleared his throat to quiet the crowd and draw their attention.
It didn’t work. Future-Dagur made a disgruntled expression, then yelled, “SHUT UP!”
The crowd quieted down. Future-Dagur calmed and cleared his throat again, beginning a clearly pre-rehearsed speech.
“It is in times like these that I’m reminded of something my great-uncle Haggard used to say: ‘There we were, three against a thousand. Toughest three we ever fought!’” Future-Dagur and Gustav both broke into hysterical laughter, though nobody else did. After a few seconds, Future-Dagur refocused and continued. “Anyhoo, today’s about only one man. One man who I’m going to miss as his apprenticeship comes to a sad but beautiful end. There will be a huge hole here, and a bigger hole here,” Future-Dagur finished, gesturing first to Berserker Island around him and then to his heart.
“Aww,” cooed the crowd.
Future-Snotlout scowled and grunted as the crowd started applauding, clearly annoyed about something.
“What is your future-self’s problem?” Ruffnut asked.
“Uh, obviously that someone as cool as Dagur is wasting his time with someone as lame as Gustav,” Snotlout said.
“You don’t even know Gustav yet,” Astrid pointed out.
“Uh, I don’t have to! I can tell he’s lame just from what we’ve seen in the mirror so far.”
“You know, Snotlout has a point,” Fishlegs agreed.
As the applause died down, the two guards behind Future-Dagur exchanged a look and started moving forward.
Future-Hiccup’s eyes narrowed, clearly seeing something wrong with that. “Mnh-mnh. Hey, Astrid,” he whispered. Future-Astrid turned to look at him, and he gestured with his face to the stage.
Alarmed, Future-Astrid looked back to the stage just as the guards reached Future-Dagur.
Oblivious to the people behind him, Future-Dagur continued to speak, his arms thrown wide in celebration. “And that man is none other than—What the!?” he exclaimed, as the guards seized him.
“Woah!” everybody shouted.
“Uh, part of the ceremony?” Future-Fishlegs suggested, though he didn’t sound like he believed it.
A man ascended the stage from behind, as Future-Dagur struggled against the guards and managed to free himself from one of them. He turned, just as the man approaching behind him drew a sword.
“Savage?” Future-Dagur asked, as the man put the sword to his neck. “What in Thor’s name do you think you're doing?”
“Something I should have done a long time ago. I’m takin’ control,” Savage replied. Then he yelled, “Seize them!”
“Ugh. Savage is right-hand-man to Alvin the Treacherous,” Chief Stoick spat. “Should have known better than to trust him, lad.”
The guards along the walls of the arena turned their spears to the crowd, who panicked and jumped out of their seats.
“Go!” Future-Astrid shouted, grabbing Future-Hiccup’s hand, who grabbed Gustav by the arm. They all ran to the side.
The raven-haired lass, sitting on the bench behind them, stood with a scowl.
“Move!” she ordered, grabbing the bench in front of her. As soon as Gustav was clear, she threw the bench forward into the approaching guards. Once the guards were down, she quickly turned and joined the escaping crowd.
“Finally, something berserk!” Future-Tuffnut cheered. He yelped as Future-Ruffnut grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into escape, too.
Soon enough, the group was running across the island, through the woods.
Future-Hiccup yelled with annoyance, and then called out, “Toothless!”
“Meatlug! Meatlug!” Future-Fishlegs called, between panting for his breath. He sounded worried. “I don't understand, Hiccup. Why won’t they come?”
“Who are you calling for?” Astrid wondered.
“Friends of ours from the Berserker tribe, maybe?” Fishlegs suggested.
“They must be locked in the stables,” Future-Hiccup said.
“Oh, great Berserker friends,” Snotlout grumbled. “Probably not even good warriors if they got locked in the stables.”
“What about Dagur?” Gustav asked, coming to a stop.
“What's wrong, Gusto? Lost without your hero?” Future-Snotlout asked, stopping beside him and putting his hands to his face in a mockery of concern.
Since those two had stopped, the rest of the group came to a stop, turning back so they formed a loose circle.
“Snotlout!” Future-Hiccup scolded.
“We need our dragons,” Future-Astrid said.
“Dragons!?” everybody exclaimed.
“Astrid’s right, everybody. We have no chance on our own. We’re outnumbered,” Future-Hiccup agreed, gesturing with his arms as he talked. Then his attention snapped past Future-Snotlout and Gustav, spotting the raven-haired lass as she ran up from behind. “Heather!” he called, lifting a hand to draw her attention.
“Follow me!” she called back, turning to the right and leading the group to a cliff face. She stopped in a large gap, a cave opening, and gestured them inside. “In here! Quickly!”
Future-Hiccup lingered by the entrance, watching as a group of guards ran past. “It’s clear,” he announced.
“A coup? Really? How did this happen?” Heather exclaimed, sounding more surprised than anything.
“Don’t look at me, I had nothing to do with it,” Gustav said, wide-eyed.
“I wasn’t looking at you,” Heather said.
“I think it’s safe to say that this lass is a Berserker, and probably a high-ranking one,” Gobber remarked. “I wonder why she’s running around with you lot?”
“Unless we should be looking at you,” Future-Ruffnut accused. Future-Tuffnut wasted no time getting up in Gustav’s face, seizing him by the arms.
“Tell us what you know, turncoat! Your coat is turned around. You’re wearing it like a bib, or a smock!” Future-Tuffnut yelled. After a second he let go, laughing. “Ha! You should have seen your face. It was all like—”
Future-Tuffnut mimicked a screaming face, complete with mock shouting in fear.
“No, I’d say it more looked like—” Future-Ruffnut mimicked a more despairing screaming face, making sounds like she was being strangled.
“That’s pretty convincing. Hiccup, what say you?” Future-Tuffnut asked, turning and pointing at future Hiccup.
“I say that as terrifying as you both could be, we need to act fast. Heather, you, me, Astrid, and Fishlegs will go get the dragons. Snotlout and Gustav, go see if you can get a bead on Savage and Dagur,” Future-Hiccup ordered, splitting the group quickly.
Astrid leaned forward. “Did Hiccup just give out orders? Is Hiccup in charge?”
“Uh, shouldn’t the probably-high-ranking Berserker lady be in charge?” Ruffnut pointed out.
“Pretty sure I should be in charge,” Snotlout grumbled.
Future-Snotlout turned to Gustav with a scowl, and Gustav winced, leaning away from him.
“He's probably in a cell. Fastest way to the prison is through the maze of caves under the island,” Heather told them, helpfully.
“Hey! How come I don’t know about those?” Gustav asked.
“It’s probably a need to know basis, and you don’t need to know,” Future-Snotlout said.
“You can reach them if you continue through here,” Heather continued, ignoring the byplay. Future-Snotlout nodded, and he and Gustav started moving toward the tunnel she had indicated.
“What about us?” Future-Tuffnut asked.
Behind him, Future-Snotlout paused, turned to Future-Hiccup, shook his head and mouthed no desperately. Future-Hiccup looked from him to Future-Astrid and Future-Fishlegs, who also shook their heads and begged with their eyes.
“You’re right, Astrid! When a decision needs to be made, you all look to Hiccup. He is in charge,” Chief Stoick said, a note of wonder in his voice. “Ha! He must finally be growing into his heritage!”
“Well, he does seem much taller,” Tuffnut agreed.
“Uh…” Future-Hiccup hesitated.
“I know it’s a hard decision,” Future-Ruffnut said, sounding almost smug.
“Because of our innate value,” Future-Tuffnut agreed.
“Inane, maybe,” Future-Snotlout scoffed, rolling his eyes.
“Yeah, insane, maybe. But we feel our skills can best be used with—” Future-Tuffnut stopped, and Future-Ruffnut reached over to spin him in circles. The others used the twins’ moment of distraction to escape.
The mirror, having been asked to show Future-Snotlout, followed Future-Snotlout and Gustav as they made their way down the tunnel. A little ways down, Future-Snotlout found a torch and quickly lit it.
“Wait! I wanted to see what group we went with!” Tuffnut protested.
“Yeah!” Ruffnut added.
“Well, Snotlout asked the mirror to show his future self, so we’re following him…” Fishlegs said.
“Uh, because I’m the most interesting, best looking, and all-around most awesome?” Snotlout scoffed. “Obviously we’re watching me.”
Astrid sighed.
“Okay, Gusteronimo, time to level with me. How did you really end up in this apprentice program?” Future-Snotlout asked, as they made their way through the caves.
“Dagur obviously saw something in me that you didn’t. Heroism. Loyalty,” Gustav answered, striking a couple poses. Future-Snotlout walked right past him, and he took a few quick steps to catch up. “I spent a lot of time with him when he captured me and Fanghook.”
“Captured!?” Fishlegs squeaked.
“Who’s Fanghook?” Snotlout asked.
“No clue, lad,” Chief Stoick answered.
Future-Snotlout stopped and turned around so he was facing Gustav.
“Which is exactly why I don’t get it. Anyone who spends time with you wants to kill you,” Future-Snotlout said, emphatically, making a motion with his fist like he was imagining strangling Gustav right there.
Gustav, unfazed, just crossed his arms. “I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree.”
“I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree,” Future-Snotlout parroted in a mocking tone.
“And I’m the annoying one? Please,” Gustav drawled, walking past Future-Snotlout, who scowled at his back.
As they continued onward, they stepped into a large cavern, full of ice. The bottom dropped so far it seemed bottomless, and the path narrowed to a thin rim of rock around the edges of the cavern.
Everyone gaped.
“Never seen anything like that before,” Gobber said, wide-eyed.
“Whoa,” Gustav gasped, standing on the edge.
“Wow. I wonder what kind of huge, nasty, venomous dragon lives down here,” Future-Snotlout said, meanly. “Boo!” he yelled, nearly sending Gustav off the edge of the cliff when he startled. Future-Snotlout scoffed, already moving to continue down the path. “Mutton-head. Let’s go, Gustegg.”
The twins laughed. Tuffnut reached over and slapped Snotlout on the shoulder.
“Good one!” he cheered. Snotlout smiled, showboating.
“You got it, man. Stay focused. Come on, Gustav. Stay calm, just keep—keep going. Keep going,” Gustav chanted, clinging to the cavern wall as he made his way down the narrow path.
They came to an area where the path widened, but then there was a gap several feet across which they had to jump over.
Snotlout ran and jumped, making it easily.
“Ha ha! Snot-lip! Snotlout!” he cheered.
“Did you just get your own name wrong?” Ruffnut laughed.
“Shut up! I made the jump, who cares what I said,” Snotlout replied, his grumbling getting quieter as he spoke.
He turned back to Gustav, who was leaning forward and peering down the gap with clear apprehension. “Come on, you can't be afraid of heights. We fly dragons.”
“Fly dragons?” Chief Stoick exclaimed. “How can that even be possible?”
“Well, there are those old stories about Berserkers harnessing the Skrill. Maybe they shared some of that knowledge with us! Clearly, the alliance is stronger in the future, if the kids are being counted on to help during a coup,” Gobber theorized.
“This is different,” Gustav said. Future-Snotlout made a scolding expression. Gustav took a few deep breaths, braced himself and ran, then jumped, screaming the whole way. He almost cleared the gap but fell just barely short, clinging onto the rockface with just his arms on top.
Gustav shouted with fright. “Snotlout!”
Snotlout groaned, trudging forward.
Gustav screamed more and yelled Snotlout’s name again, just as Snotlout grabbed him by the arm and hauled him up.
“Will you shut up? I’ve got you. Even though I should drop you,” Future-Snotlout growled, shaking Gustav a little where he still hung over the gap.
“Snotlout, we don’t drop fellow tribe members over the edges of cliffs,” Chief Stoick sighed. “Especially the kids! No matter how annoying they are.”
“Don’t you dare drop me!” Gustav yelled. Future-Snotlout finally moved him onto solid rock. Gustav gasped with relief. “Thank Thor, thank Thor, thank Thor.”
“Get a hold of yourself,” Future-Snotlout scoffed.
They continued through the maze of caves until they found themselves in a well. Gustav remembered there being a well outside the jail, so they climbed up to see if they were in the right spot. They were.
Hunkering back down in the well, clinging to the brick by their fingertips, Future-Snotlout came up with a plan.
“All right, we’re gonna go old-school and simple. You create a diversion, draw the men away, and I’ll rush in and spring Dagur,” he decided, gesturing confidently with his free hand.
“Good plan,” Gobber said.
“Sounds too risky,” Gustav protested.
“Okay, fine. I’ll be the diversion and you go rescue Dagur,” Future-Snotlout said, adjusting his helmet in a move that somehow expressed his exasperation.
“That sounds too risky, too.”
“It’s all risky, Gustav. Where’s the super apprentice Dagur’s been bragging about?” Future-Snotlout asked, messing with Gustav’s helmet in an imitation of ruffling his hair, which almost pushed the younger boy back down the well.
“Well, I’m ju—I’m just much better with my dragon,” Gustav said, hunching into himself a little.
“Even Gustav has a dragon?” Astrid exclaimed. “Dragons are the enemy! What is going on in the future?”
“Oh, really? You’re stronger and more confident with a fire-breathing, flying war machine?!” Snotlout scolded, in a voice that would have been yelling if he wasn’t keeping his voice low so the guards wouldn’t hear them.
“Yeah,” Gustav admitted, hunching into himself with a wince.
“Oh, okay. Well, we all are, Guster. But they aren’t here. How do you think I feel having you instead of Hookfang? Now, grow some hair on that barren, scrawny chest of yours and just do what I tell you,” Future-Snotlout ordered. He turned and climbed the rest of the way up the well, Gustav following him.
“Huh. Hookfang. Not a bad name for a dragon,” Snotlout decided.
Future-Snotlout climbed out of the well and ran to the side, yelling incoherently once he got there, grabbing the attention of every guard.
“Have you guys seen the Dragon Riders?” he asked, in a loud, bright voice, obviously taunting the guards. “Oh, wait. You know what, I’m a Dragon Rider.”
He ran from the guards, still yelling annoyingly to get them to follow. Two guards fell for the distraction. As Future-Snotlout passed the well, he locked eyes with Gustav.
“Go! Now!” he ordered, in a hissed undertone.
“I got this, I got this,” Gustav told himself.
He did not have it.
As Gustav exited the well, he got his foot tangled in the rope that came down from the top, tripped, rolled, lost his helmet, and came up from the roll just in time to stumble directly into a guard that hadn’t followed Future-Snotlout. He seized Gustav by the shoulders, lifting him straight off his feet, and his partner quickly held a sword to Gustav’s neck.
“Snotlout! Snotlout!” Gustav yelled.
Everybody groaned.
Immediately, Future-Snotlout whirled around and faced his pursuers, quickly defeating both of them.
“Woah!” Snotlout grinned, leaning forward. “Did you guys see that?”
“I have to admit, that wasn’t bad,” Astrid said.
“Woah, dude, you got a ‘not bad’ out of Astrid!” Tuffnut exclaimed.
“She never says that!” Ruffnut added.
Gustav was shoved into the prison.
“Apprentice, my…” Snotlout grumbled. He turned and ran, yelling annoyingly again to draw away the remaining two guards.
He led them deep into the forest and knocked them out, dragging them behind some bushes. He circled back and hid the unconscious bodies of the other guards he had defeated, as well, just before the guard that had been dealing with Gustav emerged from the jail.
The second guard didn’t reappear.
Future-Snotlout hid, looking around to figure out a plan. His eyes landed on the rope from the well, then a nearby large stone, about the size to fit a catapult. Then he spotted the keys to the jail hanging from the guard’s belt. He looked back to the stone and the rope, then watched as the guard with the keys sat down in a chair by the door of the jail.
“Well, that’ll work,” Future-Snotlout smirked.
Through the trees, he could see the next pair of guards coming for their shift. He would need to get rid of all three guards.
After a few minutes, the first guard, in the chair, fell asleep. Future-Snotlout snuck over and tied the rope in a loop around the sleeping guard’s foot. Then, he quickly tied the rope around the large rock, so that the rock would work as an anchor, and lifted it so it sat on the rim of the well. He gave the knot around it one last tug, then dove into the bushes as the two new guards arrived.
The rustle he made only grabbed the guard’s attention for a second before he was distracted by the rock-and-rope trap.
“What was that? Well, this doesn’t look safe,” one guard said, wandering over to inspect Snotlout’s trap. His buddy picked up the rope, holding it with both hands to inspect it.
Future-Snotlout leapt out from the bushes.
“Excuse me, I was wondering if you could tell me where I could find Savage?” he said, in his fakest voice. Obviously, the guard attacked him.
Snotlout used the man’s momentum against him, throwing him into the guard inspecting the stone on the well. The impact knocked the two guards and the stone over the edge, and the snare tightened around the sleeping guard’s foot, giving him a nasty wake-up call by yanking him through the air.
Quick as a flash, Snotlout reached out with one hand and snatched the keys off the guard’s belt. The guard, still tied to the makeshift anchor, quickly disappeared down the well.
“Snotlout!” Future-Snotlout shouted, a victory cry. “Ha, ha, I could watch that all day.”
“Now that was done very well. Good work, lad,” Chief Stoick said. Snotlout practically glowed under the praise.
“Well, you know, all the training I do had to pay off one day,” he said, blushing.
He casually walked up and entered the jail. He dangled the keys from one finger, approaching the cell that Future-Dagur and Gustav were in.
“Om…” hummed Future-Dagur, sitting in a meditation pose on the bench in the cell.
“Well, hello. Fancy meeting you two here. You should’ve seen the way the Snotman took out those guards. It was beautiful. Poetry in motion,” Future-Snotlout bragged, unlocking the cell as he spoke.
Future-Dagur stepped out first, holding his wrists out. Future-Snotlout unlocked his handcuffs.
“Well, now, now. Uh. Gustav deserves a little credit, now. He did bore those guards to sleep with his long, long story,” Future-Dagur said, irritated.
“Huh? Oh. Oh. Y-y-yeah, yeah,” Gustav agreed, stammering.
“What?” Snotlout said, angry at his future-self being denied his rightful credit.
“What?” Future-Snotlout said, frustrated.
“So long,” Gustav emphasized, scrambling after Future-Dagur to leave the jail.
They each took a weapon off the rack by the door as they left the building.
“Oh, my Thor,” Future-Snotlout grumbled.
The three of them made their way through the woods, fighting whatever soldiers found them and slowly gaining more and more pursuers. Night started falling on the island, and soon the only light they fought by was the moon.
“Loose!” a soldier leading a new group yelled, arrows raining down at their command. Future-Snotlout, Future-Dagur, and Gustav were pinned between the new group and the old group, both launching arrows at them.
“Over here!” Future-Snotlout yelled, vaulting a large log and ducking behind it. Future-Dagur and Gustav were quick to follow, landing so that Gustav was between Future-Dagur and Future-Snotlout. Though, while Future-Dagur and Future-Snotlout landed with their backs to the log so it offered optimal protection, Gustav landed on all fours, crouching awkwardly.
“We’re trapped!” Gustav exclaimed, gasping with fear and adrenaline. “What do we do!?”
Future-Dagur looked at his companions, grinning. “Like my great-uncle Haggard used to say, ‘There we were, three against a thousand’—” his story was cut off as an arrow flew past his face. He quickly ducked, then looked back at Snotlout with a pout. “Why doesn’t anyone else think that’s funny? Anyhoo, if my calculations are correct, it’s us against twenty or so of Savage’s men. We go seven apiece, Berserker-style,” Future-Dagur finished, holding up his sword with a deranged grin.
Fishlegs plastered his hands to his face in worry, gasping a little. “Be careful!” he whined, like the people in the mirror could hear him.
“Shut up, Fishlegs,” Snotlout said.
Future-Snotlout returned the grin in kind, hefting his axe. “Me likey.”
Dagur flinched away from another arrow that landed too close to his face, turning to watch the approaching enemy. “On my count. One... Two…”
“Wait!” Gustav called out, desperately. He finally fixed his posture, sitting back so he was properly hiding against the log instead of cowering on the ground. “We—we can’t. I mean, I can’t.”
“You can’t what?” Future-Dagur asked, a little incredulous.
“I’m not the super apprentice you think I am! I cheated on all the history tests! I was lip-syncing when everyone was singing the Berserker songs! And I never learned a single fighting technique! Look, I’m a terrible apprentice!” Gustav admitted, covering his face.
“I knew it!” Future-Snotlout said, clenching a fist in vindication.
Future-Dagur pushed Future-Snotlout along by the shoulder, stepping careful around Gustav. “Come here,” he hissed, maneuvering them to shelter behind a tree a stone’s throw away from the log. “You don’t think I knew that, Snot-pit? The kid’s only here because Stoick needed a break from the little beast. The entire apprentice program is made-up. A sham.”
Chief Stoick raised a brow. “I needed a break from a child and so sent him to Dagur? How troublesome is the lad?”
Tuffnut scoffed. “Yeah, you’ve never sent Hiccup away and he’s tons of trouble. Or me and Ruff, and we’re definitely trouble!”
As if to prove it, Ruffnut seized the horn of her brother’s helmet and smashed his face into the table.
The Chief sighed.
Gustav sobbed to himself. “I’m terrible,” he muttered.
Snotlout’s gaze stayed locked onto Gustav, a hint of real sympathy for the kid entering his expression for the first time that night. “He is not even close to being ready for something like this,” Future-Snotlout realized.
“Negative, Snot-rider,” Future-Dagur said, sounding unconcerned.
“Look, can you please stop messing with my name? I know you know it,” Future-Snotlout asked, voice sincere.
“Aww. But it’s so fun,” Future-Dagur pouted.
Future-Snotlout scowled at him.
“Oh, that’s why my future-self has been so pissed this whole time! That makes sense,” Snotlout realized.
“Fine. I’ll do my best,” Dagur groaned. He looked back to their approaching enemies. His voice lightened as he drew his sword. “Two against twenty?”
“Could be worse,” Future-Snotlout agreed, drawing his axe. He and Future-Dagur turned to face the enemy.
Future-Dagur broke into hysterical laughter. The two Vikings charged forward, and Future-Dagur loosed a wordless war cry. Future-Snotlout shouted his own name as a warcry as the two of them vaulted the log (and Gustav), launching themselves into vicious combat.
They fought their way through those twenty, then through the random guards they met in the forest. Finally, they made it to the town square.
“I can’t believe you actually turn out to be a good warrior,” Astrid said.
“Hey! I’m a great warrior already,” Snotlout pouted.
It was littered with unconscious bodies and scorch marks.
“What are those scorch marks?” Fishlegs asked.
“Looks like marks from dragon fire,” Gobber answered. “Though I couldn’t tell you what type of dragon…”
“Looks like the others beat us here,” Future-Snotlout said.
“Savage will probably be on my throne in the arena,” Future-Dagur decided. “That’s where we should go next.”
“Well then, what are we waiting for?” Future-Snotlout asked. The two Vikings exchanged feral grins and ran for the arena.
“Wait,” Future-Dagur said, throwing out an arm to stop Future-Snotlout. “If the others already got here and started fighting, then we should circle around, surprise our enemies from behind. We can swing in with the spare rope they keep there for various games.”
“Dagur turned out a better Chief than I was expecting,” Chief Stoick finally admitted.
“Aye, though I wonder what happened to Oswald,” Gobber agreed.
“Sounds like a plan,” Future-Snotlout agreed.
They arrived just in time to hear Savage yell “Stand down! All of you!” and see him put his sword to Heather’s neck. The others dropped their weapons.
Future-Dagur took one look and scowled.
“Snotlout, do me a favor and kick the idiot in the face. I have a throne to reclaim,” he ordered.
Future-Snotlout laughed, grabbed a rope, and launched himself down it with a feral yell. Heather took the distraction, ducking under Savage’s arm and running to freedom. Future-Snotlout’s boots collided with Savage’s face just as Future-Dagur fell gracefully into a casual lounge across the throne.
“Ah. It’s a good day to be me,” Future-Dagur proclaimed, smiling down at where Future-Snotlout had Savage pinned to the ground with one foot.
“I still hate your laugh,” Savage groaned.
“Wow. I think this magic mirror just showed us the day I finally win Dagur’s respect for real,” Snotlout said.
“Yeah, but it looks like everybody is just going to bed now. Ugh, I don’t want to watch people sleep,” Tuffnut complained. “Magic mirror! Show us a different day five years in the future!”
“Hey!” Snotlout yelped.
“Wait, shouldn’t we ask about the dragons?” Astrid said, sending an anxious glance toward Chief Stoick, who glowered.
The image in the mirror rippled.