Archive of Our Own

Two months – Richie on tour

Making their relationship long-distance almost immediately after it became official was… hard to say the least. 

Eddie had put his tough face on, driving Richie to the airport two days before his first show, showering him with kisses, and telling him he was going to do so good. He thought that after that, he would be completely fine. He would miss Richie, of course, but it would just be a dull thing in the background. 

God was he wrong. As soon as Richie's plane took off, Eddie was fucking sad. He couldn’t drive by Richie’s apartment whenever he wanted for random reasons, all of his texts got responses hours later because of time zones and late flights, and they could barely talk after the shows because of how hard Richie crashed ( he’s going to let his fucking boyfriend sleep.)

It was at the forefront of his mind all day everyday. Wondering where Richie was, if he was having fun, if the audiences were laughing enough, and especially wondering if Richie missed him too. 

People at work asked him if one of his family members had died. Seriously. And what was Eddie supposed to say?? “ no my boyfriend has been on a country-wide tour for two weeks” ?! It would be a cold day in hell. 

You know who else noticed? Zoe. She ‘clocked it’ the second he came home from the airport, his smile dimmer than it was before he left to go get Rich. 

She kept quiet for a while. Until the three-week mark, to be exact.

They were in the kitchen, both making all the meals she would need for that day, seeing as she had D&D club— and Eddie was on his fifth sigh of the morning.

“ Jesus fuck— you need to see Richie!” She had yelled. 

Eddie looked up from the bag he was packing. “ I'm sorry?”

His daughter shook her head, “This is bullshit, you're all sad now that Richie isn't around, and it's disgusting.”

“Uh-huh.” 

She made a frustrated noise before pulling out her phone. “I'm calling Steve, and we’re going to Richie’s next show.” 

“Excuse me? Do I get a say in this? And how the fuck did you get Steve's number?!”

Zoe shook her head, “Don't ask questions you don't want answers to.”

That led them to now. In the VIP area at Richie’s show in Nashville. They both had gotten shirts from the front kiosk that had Richie’s face on it and the name of the tour (Venti or Grande?) along with all the dates. Eddie was so eager to see his boyfriend that his foot was bouncing audibly in their little booth. 

“ Calm down dad— I'm sure he's not that bad.” 

His foot stops tapping, “ Huh? I'm just excited, Zoe.” 

“ You guys are so lovey dovey, I want to punch you.” 

Why is she like this?

“…Right.”

Then the lights are going down, and some announcer is calling out Richie’s name. Both of them start clapping immediately, Eddie biting his lip to contain a squeal.

“ Hey Tennesee!! How are we doing tonight?” The crowd starts to cheer, and god dammit, Richie looks so good up there. 

It's clear he hasn’t shaved in a while or gotten a haircut, and usually that stuff would turn Eddie off, but on Richie… he looks so fucking good. The urge to run onto the stage and kiss his scraggly boyfriend is… really threatening to consume him. 

“As you all know from the merch stand, which I'm the only comedian who has one of those by the way–“ yeah, and Zoe and Eddie were the only people who bought anything from it.

“—I recently worked as a barista at Starbucks.” Some applause, “Yeah, okay, you addicts– fucking clap.

“You might be wondering what I got out of it, and sadly, I can count it on one hand. A few thousand dollars, a dozen grey hairs, a new comedy set, and a boyfriend–”

Eddie beams from the audience. 

“ Hey i think that's you,” Zoe whispers in his ear

“ Yeah, no shit,” Eddie whispers back, eyes not leaving Richie.

“ –I think that was more than one hand–fuck me.”

The comedian continues, “Anyways, that’s the craziest list ever, I know. I sound like the description of a hallmark movie.” A pause for laughter, “That's just the establishing lore, though– don't even worry, gang.”

*

The rest of the show was a riot. Eddie was borderline crying-laughing in his seat. Richie did a perfect job creating an entire fucking set about working at the starbucks. Whether it was the teenager impressions or the ‘Karen’ stories, Eddie was cracking the fuck up. 

Next to him, Zoe sat with a bright smile the entire show, which is all Eddie could really ask for. If she was happy, then so was he. And he was really fucking happy. 

Being in the same room as Richie heightened his mood almost exponentially. Sure, he doesn’t get to talk to him or touch him where they are now, but just the fact that Richie is right there is enough to make him beam stupidly. 

Way sooner than he’d like, Richie’s set is over, and he’s rising to his feet to cheer for his boyfriend. His stomach hurts from laughing, but he ignores it in favor of whooping and hollering.

Zoe rises too and grabs Eddie’s arm, “ Come on, we gotta run.” Right! They need to beat Richie back to his dressing room. Eddie cannot wait to see the look on his face when he opens the door, and he and Zoe are standing there. 

*

The dressing room was swanky! But in Eddie’s current state, he probably would’ve described a sewer with the same word. 

Only a minute or two after Eddie and Zoe managed to sprint to the dressing room, they heard a grunt of ‘ fuck’ from outside and saw the door start to open. 

Richie’s face was definitely worth the flight, the secrets, and the sprinting.

He freezes in the doorway, hand falling from the handle. His eyes flick back and forth from Zoe to Eddie about a million times over in disbelief. 

“Y-you're here!” He chokes out, eyes filling with tears.

“ We wanted to surprise you. I really missed you, so… we pulled a few strings.” Eddie shrugs like it's no big deal.

“ You missed me?” Richie breathes. 

Eddie and Zoe look at each other before turning back to Richie and nodding. 

Before Eddie can speak again, Richie envelops him in a crushing hug, instantly putting his head in Eddie's neck. 

A moment passes where no one says anything, the only noises are Richie's faint sniffles and Eddie's hand carding through the bigger man’s hair. 

“You really missed me?” Richie whispers eventually, like the thought is unfathomable. It's the same tone of voice someone would use if they were asking, “You really killed that guy?”

Eddie decides to tell the truth. “ I missed you so fucking much. I wasn't even myself.” 

That makes Richie gasp, “ Thank fucking god. I thought I was the only one.” 

Eddie pulls Richie out of his shoulder and shakes his head at him. “ Please don't say that, Rich, you're definitely not the only one. Even my evil devil spawn missed you.” That makes Richie laugh and turn towards Zoe; they nearly forgot she was here. 

The girl sighs under their attention. “ I did, but not nearly as much as Mr. Sighs-a-lot over here.” 

“ Awwww, Zoe, get in here!” Richie extends his arm for her to join their hug. 

“ Hard pass. I'm fine where I am.” 

Richie hisses out a laugh and turns to Eddie, who is already beaming up at him. “ Denied,” he stage-whispers.

“ Although!!” Zoe interjects.

Both men turn to her as she sits down on the couch, pulling out her phone and opening something before looking up at them. 

“ I have some notes.”

Six months – the first “ I love you.”

“ Baby— let me help you, you’re going to be late.” 

Richie and Eddie are currently racing around Eddie's way too small kitchen, trying to come up with a breakfast for Richie to eat. 

He was not supposed to stay the night last night, but with the way Richie was looking at him after their romantic dinner, one thing led to another… and another and another and— now Richie’s going to be late to an extremely important meeting. 

Seems like Eddie is more stressed about it than Richie. If that's not their relationship in a nutshell, Eddie doesn’t know what is.

“I'm sure we have a thing of protein bars here somewhere, so just— get your big ass back out of my kitchen.” god this apartment is small. And Richie is practically a walking brick wall.

“ You were not complaining about my back last night while I was lying on it.” Richie shoots back, walking out of the kitchen and leaning across the island.

“ Oof, Rich, come on, that was a C minus at best.” 

The bigger man snaps in an “ ahh, shucks " motion, making them both laugh.

A moment later, Eddie emerges from the kitchen, protein bar in hand. “Here, please take this,” he slaps it into Richie’s chest.

“ Thank you–”

“ And don't do that thing where you put the food in your backpack and don't eat it. I want you to do good today, and you can't do good on an empty stomach,” he slaps Richie’s chest for emphasis.

His boyfriend practically melts down into him, “ mmm, I’ll eat it. Thank you, honey.” he kisses Eddie’s forehead.

“ I’ll see you tonight. Love you, bye,” he says, one foot out the door.

“ Love you too, see you later.” The interaction is barely thirty seconds long, then Richie is gone.

As soon as it slams shut, Eddie realizes what just happened. They said I love you. Something they’ve definitely never said before. He would've remembered that.

His heart threatens to beat out of his chest; he’s so overwhelmed. In a good way! His mind replays Richie’s casual affection over and over again, so happy he feels the same way.

The thought has been in his mind for months now, going back and forth on the perfect time to say it. Every nice dinner, every movie night, every bad standup set, and every night of passion its been at the front of his mind. It seems Richie's blabbermouth chose the right time for him.

It's nearly five minutes later when there's a hurried knock at the door– Eddie already knows who’s there.

God, that was faster than I thought. He assumed it might take Richie the rest of the day to realize what happened.

“ Eddie, baby, please open the door!! That was fucking crazy.” Eddie giggles and opens the door to his frazzled boyfriend.

“ Back so soon?” he teases.

Richie groans, “Please shut the fuck up.”

Eddie wraps his arms around Richie's waist, and the bigger man physically deflates. “ I’m so sorry I did that.”

Huh? “ Hon, why are you sorry?”

There's a pause before Richie runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “ I wanted that to be a lot more romantic. Like… under fireworks or something. Really just anytime I'm not wearing hot-sauce-stained sweatpants.” 

Eddie thought the sweatpants were endearing but okay.

“ You’ve been…thinking about this?”

Richie is already nodding, “ For so long, since the second I saw you, actually.”

“Me too.” Eddie breathes.

That makes Richie wince in his arms, clearly sad he “ruined” this first.

“ Maybe this was the perfect moment– in our own fucked up way.”

Richie's face scrunches up so so cutely, “ huh?”

“ Well… your trashmouth is the reason we’re together, right? Its only natural– nay expected– to be the reason we say I love you. That's pretty beautiful?”

Though he still looks skeptical, Richie nods.

Eddie continues, “ And it's not like I rejected you. I fucking love you, Richie– I don't care how crazy the first time we say it is. Hell, you could write it on a highway billboard in John Deere Green, and I’d still think it was perfect.”

A noise of disbelief from above him, “ Only you could turn this into the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me. I love you so fucking much.”

Eddie’s entire body lights up as soon as the words are out of Richie's mouth. He feels like the sun is about to shine out of his ass; he’s so happy.

“ I could definitely get used to hearing that,” he murmurs and squeezes Richie’s waist. “ Now, please get out of here so you're not late for your meeting.”

“ No.”

“No?” 

Richie shakes his head and brings Eddie’s body impossibly closer. “I'm cancelling it. You and I are spending the day together.”

“ Richie.”

“My mind is made up, Eddie spaghetti!! Zoe is at Myra’s, you don't have work, and my fine ass boyfriend loves me. I'm not going anywhere.”

Eddie shakes his head even though he knows he’s going to cave in about ten seconds.

And if they spend the entire day in Eddie’s bed whispering a certain three words back and forth? That's their business.

Nine months – The Great Move-In

“ Richie– this is too fucking much,” Eddie yelled from the top of the stairs.

And honestly? He was totally right.

Today’s the day Richie reveals the house he bought for him, Eddie, and Zoe. Ever since he and Eddie said those three beautiful, lovely, absolutely fantastic words, Richie has been a little house hunter.

He needed something with three bedrooms ( Richie and Eddie's, Zoe’s, and a guest one), an office for Richie to do his writing ( and gaming–who said that?), and in Zoe’s school district to make the move easy on the kid. He thought it would be difficult, but he found this place almost immediately.

Though Richie loved the coziness of Eddie’s apartment, he could not stop thinking about a space that was both his and Eddie’s, somewhere Richie didn't have to leave every three days to get more clothes. 

With this borderline mansion he bought, he’d never have to leave Eddie and go to his sad, lonely apartment; he could see Zoe more during the week, and they could make the space uniquely theirs. Not Richie or Eddie’s– theirs.

Did he jump the gun? Two hundred percent. But you know what they say– high risk, high reward.

“We are barely done with the tour, Eddie baby!! Come back down here im losing my tourists.” In a way that Richie could've easily predicted, Eddie started panicking the second they walked in the house, just speedwalking from room to room, silently hyperventilating until he got his thoughts together. Zoe just stood by the door with Richie, watching her father. It seems she could’ve predicted this, too.

Eddie grumbles and comes down the stairs to meet Richie and Zoe. Yay! My tour!!

Absolutely beaming, Richie starts to walk the family into the kitchen, starting their tour.

“ Kaspbraks!! Welcome to our jungle safari tour— aka our new house— aka the fucking coolest place ever,” he puts on a fake Australian accent that makes Eddie chuckle and Zoe roll her eyes fondly. That's kinda her default when it comes to Richie. Tough crowd.

“Right here is the dinner table slash breakfast nook— yes, it can be for both meals— where Eddie will spend countless hours reading the morning paper and grunting ‘ I hate Mondays’” his hands dramatically flourish towards the little table by the window that will be perfect for when the three of them have meals together. 

“ HA! You got him there, Rich!!” Zoe wheezes. 

Both men turn to her at the same time, “That makes you laugh?!” They say seemingly in sync. 

“ Right, so now I'm an old man who's also Garfield. So funny!! Hilarious!!” Eddie’s hand karate chops in front of him. 

Richie giggles and shoots Zoe a wink before continuing the tour. “ And if you’ll follow me, explorers, here is the living room, where I vow to put a couch so big we could all sleep on it and never touch!” 

Nods from the Kaspbraks. 

“ Good idea, babe.”

“ I fuck with that heavily.” 

Eddie rolls his eyes at his daughter, and to the next room they go! 

“ Here is my office! Some have called it the funny room—“

“— Tell me names, Richie, who said that—“

He ignores Zoe, “The door will only open for sex and candy, separate or simultaneously!” 

“ Richie.” Eddie screeches. 

“ Woah Ed’s, sorry I speak my fucking truth.” 

*

It took until halfway through the tour, but Eddie was pretty sure he was in love with the house. 

Every worry Eddie could've possibly had about it was instantly shot down by Richie. It was in Zoe’s school district, was a short distance from both Eddie’s work and Myra’s house, and had a Starbucks down the road for Zoe.

It's… perfect. Imagining the three of them sharing this house makes him want to just… combust with happiness. 

The tour is long over, and Zoe and Richie are planning what furniture can go where in the house while Eddie just… looks around. 

He lost them somewhere about five minutes ago, so he listens for Richie’s booming voice and follows it up the stairs. 

Eddie almost barges into the room Richie and Zoe are in, but quickly stops when he hears his boyfriend’s excited rambling. 

“ So yeah! This’ll be your room as long as you're willing to stay with us.” He walks up to the far wall. “I was thinking right here we can put your vanity— I'm getting you a vanity by the way— so we can have an open floor plan kind of thing.” Zoe stays in the middle of the room, watching Richie as he moves around excitedly. 

“Oh! And we can put your bed in this corner because apparently teenagers love corner beds— and I bought you this curtain thing to go around the bed so you can have that space for when you're mad at me or something— oof.” 

If Eddie wasnt watching from the doorway, he never would’ve believed what happened. 

Zoe runs at Richie and crushes him into a hug, burying her face in the middle of his chest. 

Richie looks… shocked. But in the cutest moment of Eddie’s life, a wide smile takes over his face as he looks down at Zoe. “You like it?” He murmurs, his arms loosely curling around her in return.

Zoe nods against him, and Eddie swears he hears her sniffle. Zoe doesn’t cry. That's not something she does.

“ I love it, Richie. T-thank you.” Now his eyes look pretty wet too. 

“ Of course… You know I’d do anything for you, kid.” And because Richie can never have a serious moment, “ like…making your room completely hot pink.” 

Zoe retches back, “You wouldn’t dare, Richard.” She’s definitely not as scary with tear tracks down her face, but Richie still pretends to be terrified of her. 

Eddie steps away then, letting the two of them have their moment, vaguely aware of the silly grin on his face. 

That night, Richie tells Eddie about what happened, and the way he speaks with such awe and happiness makes Eddie light and giddy— so happy his two favorite people get along so well. 

They can not move in soon enough.

11 months— meeting Myra ( Among other things)

By now, Richie was adapted to the Kaspbrak’s schedules. They are creatures of habit, which is a little insane to Richie, the king of procrastination, but he’s pretty used to it. He doesn't think it's normal– but he's used to it.

So he knows that any minute now, Zoe will run down the stairs with her weekend bag, yelling, “ Wish me luck, gang!!” To him and Eddie before she goes off to Myra’s. He also knows that as soon as the door shuts behind her, Eddie will bitch about everything Myra for thirty minutes before curling up next to Richie on the couch and sighing, “ I just worry about Zoe, you know?”

Sadly, today was a rare day the Kaspbraks reared off schedule. Eddie had to go into work for… something… (Richie was totally listening when he said it, but found it so boring that he immediately forgot it.) So now he’s holding down the fort on their ginormous couch. The perks of being a little couch potato slash housewife. 

Weirdly enough, thirty minutes pass and Zoe never comes down with her bag and prayer. 

“ Little shit is probably asleep,” he grumbles, getting off the couch. He hates to wake her up, but Myra will have a bitch fit if Zoe doesn't come, calling Eddie screaming. 

And he really doesn't want that to happen, so upstairs he goes. 

When he gets to the door, he does the knock from Frozen. A weekly occurrence.

“ Zo-Zo!! Get up, you have to get to your mom’s!!” he yells to ensure she's awake.

“ I’ve decided not to go, Richie!!” from behind the door.

The man sighs, “ And I've decided to start a singing career!! Come on, Zo– it's two days, and then you can come back.”

No response. Fuck meee.

“ Zoe, are we all aware that if you don't go to your mom’s, your father will be mad at me? Are we aware?!”

“I'm aware of a lot of things, Richie! It’s all handled, so please just–go back downstairs.” She sounds so dejected that Richie does what he usually does in these situations: give Zoe whatever she wants.

“ Okay, Zo-Zo. Just please come down and eat something soon, okay?”

A noise of affirmation from Zoe’s room, and the conversation is over. 

Okay then… back to the couch…

*

And for a while, everything is pretty normal. Yeah, Richie stresses about Eddie's reaction when he comes home and sees Zoe hasn't left yet, but that's a Future Richie problem, and fuck that guy.

He’s sitting on the couch (big surprise, he's basically molded into it at this point) when the doorbell rings. Like a completely normal person, he shouts to Zoe, who’s on the complete other side of the house, “ Zoe!! Go get the door!!”

Dead silence before, “ Fuck, Richie, you're fifteen steps away from it, get your fat ass off of the couch.”

Shit, she knows him too well.

The fifteen steps were long and hard ( like something else–AY), but he got there. Instead of looking through the window or peephole or fucking Ring app, he just swings open the door and is met with a short and stout blonde woman glaring up at him.

Myra. Fuck.

“ Zoe, please come down here!!” he immediately screams. He’s never interacted with Myra before, and does not want to start now.

“ Well, aren't you going to invite me in?” he hears from below him, and why does god hate him?

“ Um… I wasn’t planning on it,” he says quietly, off his game.

There's a way too fucking long moment of silence before Myra speaks again.

“You're a lot more handsome than I imagined you.”

Okay, what the fuck, guys?

“Huh!” he has a very hard time believing that Myra has never seen him before– with the whole being famous thing— but the statement still shocks him.

And she's just nodding like this is a thing you say to your ex-husband’s boyfriend.

“ I just expected Eddies ‘ boyfriend’ –” she actually puts her fingers into air quotes, “ to be a lot uglier. And you're not ugly.”

Richie doesn't respond; he turns around and shouts up the stairs once more, “ Zoe, get the fuck down here!!” The little shit still isn't coming. Shes probably watching this entire interaction from the camera. That kid is dead.

“ Do not talk to my child like that! I do not appreciate it.” Myra screeches from below him– wow, is she short.

“Uh-huh, and I don't appreciate unannounced guests on my doorstep,” he grumbles.

Myra shoots him a glare, “I'm here to pick up Zoe. She told me that she isn't coming to my house, so I'm taking her there.”

The self-coined “mama bear instinct” Richie has towards Zoe suddenly kicks in, and he crosses his arms and narrows his eyes at the woman in front of him.

“ If she doesn't want to go, then she's not going,” he spits.

“That's not up to you, you're not her father,” and just like that, Myra has put a knife through his heart. Yeah, he knows he’s not Zoe’s father, but… he doesn't like reminders, you know? Whatever that means– he doesn't know, he tries not to think too hard about it.

“ Right,” he murmurs. 

And shuts the door in her face.

His first interaction with Myra– barely three minutes long and still destroyed him. Sounds about right. 

Richie makes his trek upstairs and bangs on Zoe’s door again. “I hope you're decent im coming in fuckface.”

He slams open the door and sees a curled-up Zoe in the corner of the bed. The kid looks… rough. Richie softens immediately. “What's going on today, Zo?” he murmurs, sitting on the edge of her bed.

“ I just… don't want to go back there,” she sighs, putting down her phone. 

“ From the conversation I just had with your mother, I get the feeling I also wouldn't want to go back there,” he mutters. “ Did something happen?”

“Nothing I want to talk about.”

“ Okay… that's fair… I guess.”

They sit in comfortable silence for a while, Zoe staring down at her hands while Richie admires the room Zoe made her own. He was scared in the beginning that she wouldn't want to move into the house Richie bought for them, but his fears were washed away real quick. Washed away by the purple walls and little decorative leaves covering this room.

“How about this… we wait for your mom to leave our doorstep… then we have a girls' day,” Richie says after a few more minutes.

“ I wasn't informed that you're a girl,” Zoe mutters

“ I wouldn't have that attitude if I were you…I think you’ll like the girls' day agenda,” he singsongs.

“ Oh? Tell me more.”

*

When Eddie opens the door around five that night, he instantly hears the sounds of The Office playing on the TV, and his boyfriend and daughter giggling in the kitchen.

All of those things are terrible signs. Signs of what? He doesn't know yet.

“ Hey guys!! What the fuck happened today? Why is Zoe still home?” he calls from the doorway, sliding off his shoes and blazer.

No answer, only more giggling and someone hissing “ shhh.”

Lord, save me.

With slow, cautious steps, Eddie enters the kitchen. 

And instantly freezes at what he sees.

Richie is standing by the oven, wearing his kiss the cook apron, clearly making cupcakes of some sort, and Zoe is standing next to him… with bright purple hair. 

Well… the ends are bright purple but fucking bright purple hair!!

Both of them turn to look at Eddie, and he must be making a face, because they both start laughing so hard, their bodies lean into each other.

“ What the fuck happened today?” Eddie screeches.

His daughter runs up to him, “ Dad!! Notice anything different?!” he vaguely hears Richie go “ HA!” from behind the island, but is too focused on Zoe to really pay him any heed. 

What he’s really focused on is the smile on Zoe’s face. He hasn't seen her smile quite this brightly in… a long time. It almost brings a matching one to his face as well. Almost.

“ Well… I'm having an aneurysm,” he murmurs after a moment, his hand reaching up to touch Zoe’s newly fucking purple hair.

Both of his favorite people laugh, and it's music to his ears. 

“ Do we like the new do, Ed’s?” Richie shouts.

“ If painful heart palpitations mean you like something, then yes, I like it.” Richie and Zoe laugh again, Richie coming up to him and kissing his head.

Eddie continues, “ What I don't like is the fact I can never leave you two alone ever, ever again.” 

“ Oh come on, Dad!! What could be worse than this??”

“ I don't know!! And I'm never leaving you long enough to find out.” 

While he jokes, his mind goes back to before he left work this morning, when he went into Zoe’s room to tell her goodbye and saw the solemn look on her face and her body in the fetal position in the middle of her bed. He looks down at Zoe now, at the absolutely blinding smile on her face, and starts to smile as well. 

Richie did this. Richie made his daughter this happy.

Eddie has a feeling that Zoe’s hair could be every color of the rainbow, and he wouldn't give a shit at the moment.

Richie and Zoe go back to the cupcakes they were making(??), and Eddie sits at the island and grabs his phone out of his pocket.

“ Hey guys, why do I have thirty missed calls from Myra?!”

1 year and 1 month – Eddie’s sick day

Richie thought he’d never see the day. The day his boyfriend had to miss work. Like… a whole fucking sick day… he feels like he’s in an alternate reality. 

“ ‘Chee stop, I'm not fucking kissing you.” They both woke up to Zoe’s alarm for school ( that kid sleeps like the dead; it has to be loud) about thirty minutes ago and discovered that Eddie had come down with something bad. He looks like death. Adorable death.

Now Richie is going to wait on him hand and foot. Obviously. He’s already planning on making him the chicken soup in the back of their pantry and rubbing his feet until he’s back asleep. The thoughts are so domestic and perfect, Richie wants to do a little dance or something. He’s obviously not going to dance because his boyfriend is sick, but… You get it.

“ Edster, when you say that, I only want to kiss you more.” 

“ And when you call me Edster, I want to throw up.” His boyfriend sniffs. His voice is the way it gets when you're all stuffed up, and Richie really wants to put him in his pocket and love him forever. 

“ Baby, please stop talking dirty to me.” He teases and steals a kiss before rising for coffee. There's no way he’ll be able to fall back to sleep now, so he might as well say bye to Zoe and get some fucking coffee in him. 

“ You're gonna get sick,” Eddie sniffs from under the covers. If he even tried to get up, Richie would shove him back down and put more blankets on him. 

“ Oh Ed’s, I’d get sick a thousand times for one kiss,” he sings

Eddie groans, “ shut the fuck up.”

Before Richie can make the walk down to the kitchen, Zoe appears in their doorway, “ Shit. You’d think since you're glow in the dark now, I'd be able to spot you easier.” he wishes he were joking; Zoe’s hair is so bright he can see it in the dark. Easy to spot her in a crowd, not easy to be blinded by her at six am.

“ Very funny, Richie,” the teenager deadpans. “ I need a ride to school.”

Eddie sits up groggily. “What's wrong with the car I bought you?”

Both men turn to Zoe, fidgeting with the rings on her fingers, “ I… may or may not have left the lights on overnight. There's no gas.”

A beat before, “You're lucky he’s sick– I think you’d already be dead if he wasn't.” Richie says.

“ He’s not sick, he doesn’t do that,” Zoe says instantly.

“ That’s what I'm saying!!” Eddie calls from behind them.

“ You two scare the shit out of me,” Richie murmurs before Zoe finally shouts, “ I need a ride!!”

Eddie throws the blankets off and stands up shakily. “ I’ll take you, sweetheart, just–” he coughs, “ give me a second.” he’s walking like a frail old man towards the closet, and Richie is at his side in an instant. “Okay, no, Eddie baby, please lie the fuck down– I’ll drive Zoe.”

Eddie sniffs, then looks up at Richie, defeated. “ Really? You’ll do that?”

Richie brushes the sweaty hair off of Eddie’s forehead. “ Of course I will.” A pause, “I'm also pretty sure you have the plague, so I am getting the fuck out of here.”

Eddie shoves his hands away, “ Shut the fuck up,” he grumbles.

“ And just like that– we’re off!! Come on, Zoe, to the Batmobile!!”

“ Well… we’re all going to die,” Zoe mutters on her way out.

*

Another first for Richie today. 

Zoe is in his passenger seat, scrolling on her phone while Richie drives her to school. What an absolutely wild thing.

“ Well? Are you going to put your music on?”

Zoe puts down her phone(!!), “ You really can't sit in comfortable silence, Richie?”

“I think both of us have to be comfortable for the silence to be comfortable, Zo,” he sighs. “ Come on, I'm trying to connect with you!! Play some god damn music before you end up listening to mine.”

And it's that threat that has Zoe shooting up and quickly plugging in her phone and clicking play. Which hurts a little, but it's worth it.

They sit in the music for a few minutes– one song worth– and Richie just lets it all sink in.

“ So? Is it life-changing, Rich?”

“ This is…sad,” he whines.

“ Richie–”

“No wonder you sit in your room all day!! This is so depressing!! I feel like my mood is permanently lowered for the rest of my life.”

Zoe scoffs, “ Maybe they capture how I feel.”

Richie starts wheezing-laughing, nearly crashing the car. “ That was so funny, oh my god, I'm forgetting who the comedian in the car is.” 

“ Thats just rude–”

“ Oh, poor me– I'm Zoe, I'm popular and cool, and have so many people that care about me and would jump in front of a bus for me, boo hoo,” he mocks in a girly falsetto. “My hair is purple, I live in a mansion, and my life fucking sucks wahhh.”

From the corner of his eye, he sees Zoe biting back a laugh and feels like his heart has grown three sizes.

“ Maybe you should listen to some happier music, like–”

“ If you tell me to listen to Taylor Swift, I'm jumping out of the car and taking my chances,” Zoe shouts.

“ Wow– Jumping out of the car and taking my chances– is that the next song on your playlist?” Zoe barks out a laugh that wasnt supposed to escape.

“ I’m just saying! It fits the bill!” They giggle for a moment, and sooner than Richie would like, they’re in front of Zoe’s school.

Zoe looks out the window before getting out and perks up– Richie sees that Sam is outside, clearly waiting for someone. A smirk takes over his face.

“ I’ll see you later, Rich!” She says one foot out the door.

“ Uh-huh, have a fantastic day, please.”

The door shuts, but Richie doesn't get out of the loop-de-loop dropoff line just yet. He waits until Sam and Zoe are together before rolling down the window and shouting, “ Zoe!! Did you take your pills this morning?? Wouldn't want you stinking up the class with your growing body!!” he immediately bursts into near-crying laughter, and he knows he’s going to pay for this later.

Before he leaves the lot, he hears Sam ask, “ Who the fuck is that?”

“ Just my stepdad– he’s a lunatic.”

Richie’s heart stops. His car slowly leaves the drop-off and starts the ride home, but his mind is still very much there.

Stepdad. Zoe called me her stepdad.

It's an insane and premature label, but— it sounds so right coming from her. A dumb, stupid ass smile comes to him and hurts his face as it stays on him the entire ride home.

*

“ Hi, baby,” Eddie grumbles. He's just a talking forehead at this point. There are so many blankets on him.

Richie is still smiling stupidly, “ Hi, my Spageds.” He lies down next to Eddie and takes his clammy hand.

“ What’s got you in such a good mood, huh?” 

Richie’s mind fills with thoughts of a future with Eddie and Zoe. A proposal, a wedding, a brand new last name to match his family’s, and the smile gets impossibly wider.

“ Just a good morning is all. Let's get you healthy, yeah?”

1 year and 2 months— Zoe’s homecoming

“ Spaghetti, I can hear foot tapping from here!” Richie calls from the kitchen. And Eddie is in the fucking living room. 

“ Sorry, Richie.” He calls back. 

Richie sighs and rises from his spot at the kitchen island— it's probably better if he stays close to Eddie right now. 

It’s Zoe’s homecoming tonight. It shouldn’t be a big deal because both of them have done this twice before, but this is her first dance with a date. 

It was safe to say Eddie was malfunctioning. 

Richie drops onto the couch directly next to his boyfriend and wraps an arm around his shoulders. “ How are we holding up?”

“ God, Rich, it's not like she's dying.” Eddie spits while cuddling closer.

“ Right.” 

They sit there for a minute,  a random sitcom plays on the TV in front of them, pulling soft laughs here and there, all the while Richie pets Eddie’s hair like he’s a fucking cat. He’s never been the best at comfort, so that and the quiet seem to be working. Until the doorbell rings. 

“That must be Sam,” Eddie grumbles. 

“ And with that— we know who's getting the door!” He untangles himself from Eddie and heads towards the door, taking a deep breath before he opens it. 

The kid looks good, he’ll admit. Besides the ice cream scoop haircut… obviously. But he cleaned up well enough in his little suit with the little boutonniere.

“ Um… good evening, s-sir.” He’s nervous!! How adorable. “I'm here to pick up Zoe.” 

“ She’s upstairs getting ready. Why don't you come in, and we’ll talk.” Sam nods, walking into the house, and Richie swears he can almost hear the kid gulp. Poor bastard.

“ Come sit! Make yourself at home!”

And that's how Sam ends up getting questioned by both men in their living room.

“ You a good driver, Sam? You're not gonna crash the car with Zoe in it?”

“ Tell me about your parents, Sam.”

“ Sam, where are you from?”

“ And we’re going to get Zoe home by ten, aren't we, Sam?”

It was a fun stress reliever! To torture him.

Before long, Zoe was coming down the stairs, already glaring at everyone there. She looked like a Disney princess (if they shopped at Hot Topic) in her black dress with purple accents, and her dyed hair in loose curls flowing down her back.

Sam, Richie, and Eddie gasp. Zoe goes straight to Sam. “ They didn’t traumatize you, right?” she asks instantly.

He just shakes his head and shakily puts the matching flower-thingy on her wrist. “ You look… beautiful.”

In a display that Richie has seen maybe once, Zoe blushes. 

“ Thank you. So do you.”

“ I look beautiful too?!” They both laugh, and Richie honestly feels like he’s going to cry watching something so pure. Like a video of a military dad coming home.

Richie and Eddie take some cringy and downright terrible pictures of the young couple in front of their staircase before kissing Zoe goodbye and watching them peel out of there as fast as they can. Richie cannot even blame them.

He and Eddie stand by the window long after they’re gone. Just staring out at their front yard. That is, until Richie hears a small sniffle beside him and instantly pulls Eddie into him.

“ It’s okay. She's out having fun.”

“It's not okay,” Eddie sniffs, “ I could hold her in my hand like… three days ago, and now she's off dancing with a boy,” he whines.

Richie runs his fingers through the smaller man’s hair for a moment. “She’ll be back before you know it. Definitely complaining about how embarrassing we were.” He speaks with a small fond smile on his face.

 “And then you’ll get to yell at her for leaving shoes in the hallway, or for smiling too wide or something,” he continues.

Eddie huffs a wet laugh, “She’s probably mad at us for grilling her date.”

“Oh, she is definitely mad. Livid even,” Richie says, nudging him gently. “But she’ll still tell us about the dance and how much fun she had…. If we need to bury Sam underneath the house.”

“ Richie!!” Eddie laughs.

“ What?! You know I would!”

A beat.

“You know… no matter what, I’ll still stay right here with you.” Richie murmurs.

“ I know you will, Richie,” his boyfriend says back.

1 year and 7 months

The whole thing started on Richie’s birthday a while back. 

Zoe and Eddie had come to him at their breakfast nook early in the morning and gave him this adorable little cake that just read “ Happy B-da,y Rich!” (he requested that the age he was turning would not be on the cake.)

After he blew out the candles, a manic grin came to Eddie’s face. “ Do you want your present?!” he was practically shaking with excitement. “ That depends– is the present the cocaine you just took?” 

Zoe huffed out a laugh from next to her father. “ God, what a day that would be.”

Eddie ignored both of them. “ I’m getting your present– close your eyes! And… stay here dont move!” he was yelling, and Richie was honestly scared of the present now. 

He covered his eyes with a pout, “ Cocaine it is,” he whispered to Zoe.

After what felt like twenty hours, Eddie came back to the nook. “ Hold out your hands, Rich,” he did, and felt two pieces of paper being placed in them. What the fuck?

“ And… open!”

Richie’s eyes snapped open immediately, and he looked down at his gift.

In his hands… were two Eras Tour tickets. 

“ Eddie…shut the fuck up…” he whispered, about to fucking cry. He looked up and saw Eddie sporting one of the brightest smiles of their entire relationship.

“ These–” Richie blinks back fucking tears, “ – these are fake, there is no way.” he had tried to get tickets when the tour started, but he was two minutes late and completely missed out. Yeah hes a celebrity, but he was not playing thousands of dollars for a ticket. He chose sulking instead.

“ They’re real, baby. You and I are going.”

Richie laughed wetly, “ How did you do this?”

“ I pulled a few strings…”

“ You say that a lot, and it freaks me out every fucking time.” 

Then Richie was rising out of his seat and pulling Eddie into an absolutely bone-crushing hug. “ This is the best gift anyone has ever gotten me. Thank you.”

“ Anything for you, Richie,” Eddie murmured into their hug. They were both dimly aware of the tears trailing down Richie's face, but ignored them.

Zoe was making gag noises behind them. The day was a fairytale.

All of that led them to now. 

Richie and Eddie, fully decked out in bracelets, nearly wrist to elbow, are heading to their almost front row seats. When Richie realized how close to the stage they were– maybe two or three rows back– he grabbed Eddie and pulled him in for a deep kiss.

“ Dear lord, Richie,” Eddie huffs.

“I'm just… so fucking excited!!” Richie squeals like all the other little girls there and sees a fond smile come to Eddie’s face.

“Quite a collection you got for yourself there,” Eddie nods at Richie’s bracelet-clad arms.

“ Oh my god, yes! I was making so many friends, and we were all trading– it was a glittery blur.” Richie borderline babbles.

“ You were trading away the precious bracelets I helped you make?!” Eddie places a hand on his heart and pouts.

“Don't worry, Eddie, I still have the best one,” he points at the very first bracelet on his wrist that says ‘ Eds + Rich’ (they had to keep it short).

Eddie blushes looking at it, and Richie remembers how bright red he was when they sat down and made all of these bracelets. It was possibly one of the greatest moments… ever… him and his gorgeous boyfriend sitting at the dining table, arguing, laughing, and making pretty pink friendship bracelets.

They laugh and make more friends with the other fans around him before everything goes black and the clock starts ticking. 

Richie grabs Eddie’s arm so hard he’ll have nail indents. “ Eddie!!” he squeals. Eddie looks up at him with a way too soft smile.

The first era goes off without a hitch. Richie adores Lover and knows every word to every song she plays. During Lover (the song), he pulled Eddie’s back into his chest and swayed them back and forth. Eddie didn't know the words, but knew the melody well enough to him and sway along. 

It was the fearless era when things got crazy. 

Again, Richie knew all the words, but everything went off the rails during Love Story. Taylor was in the middle of the stage singing the bridge of the song, something about Romeo ignoring Juliet, but as soon as she got to the “ he knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring” lyric, everyone in his section went insane.

He turns towards Eddie and… sees him down on one knee, reciting the lyrics back at him with a watery smile. 

Richie's ears begin to ring so loudly that he couldn't tell you what song was playing with a gun to his head. All he’s focused on is the man in front of him, his blinding smile, the ring in his outstretched hands.

He doesn't even try to follow the lyrics; he reaches down to cup Eddie's face and yells, “ Yes, yes please oh my god, yes.” Eddie surges up and kisses him fiercely, slipping the ring onto his finger while the rows around them cheer at the proposal.

“ Eddie,” Richie says wetly, and is he crying? He just noticed the tears running down his own face.

“ Surprised?” his fiancée ( awooga) whispers into his mouth.

“ You could say that. This is… the best night of my life, Ed’s.”

“ Mine too.”

*

The rest of the concert was… a dream. Richie was practically floating on a cloud. Him and Eddie danced during 1989, cried during Evermore, and really experienced every emotion a human can in a three-hour span.

He would love to tell you that the night of his engagement, he and Eddie fell through the door, making out and grinding before making love in their bed, but that is not what happened. They were so tired they could barely take the bracelets off before falling into bed.

“ Should we call Zoe?” Eddie whispers to his half-asleep fiancée. 

“ Mmmm, I’m sure she already knows exactly what happened tonight. I'm also sure we’ll be viral on TikTok soon.”

“ Huh? What makes you say that?”

“ We’re two gay guys getting engaged at a Taylor Swift concert. Moths to the flame, Eddie.”

“Okay then, big guy, I think it's time for bed.” Eddie chuckled quietly.

“ Ed’s.”

“ What?”

“ I was enchanted to meet you.” Richie giggles and falls asleep almost immediately after.

He’s dimly aware of being placed onto Eddie’s chest after he’s out, but is too deep in his dream to really know.

He dreams of a beautiful white wedding, Eddie walking down the aisle to Lover, Zoe, crying next to her father at the altar.

He smiles against Eddie’s chest.