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The night was cold, the unspoken tension could be sensed at the anger of some Fatui over Signora's death. Pantalone probably was the most on edge, he had already killed and tortured fatuis who dared to speak ill of his old friend. Most understood that the fact that the Raiden Shogun was the murderer of Signora, had made Pantalone even more pent up considering his hate towards Archons.
Pantalone was a man of great renown, always composed. Pierro liked him, as well as her Highness the Signora, because Pantalone wasn't mad, he followed the rules and did his job neatly without any remarks. Pantalone was cold, or perhaps straight–forward was more accurate, he had a fancy taste as much as he expected people to present to him properly, to address him properly, to not be bold around him in order not to waste his precious time.
The Fatui Harbingers fastly saw the bond that grew between Pantalone and other Harbingers, with Pulcinnella for the Stuzha project or with Sandrone as he attended some of her tea parties… Most of all was Dottore, they met before he joined the Fatui, they had a deep bond, everyone knew of course, but no one dared to say anything about it. Even more, Pierro had a silent expectation that this relation would not stand between both of their duties and shouldn't be shown publicly.
Pantalone's eyes were most of the time closed, but tonight they weren't, they were opened looking blankly at the drink in his hand. Everyone could sense the atmosphere, this cold, empty ambiance even Childe didn't dare to break. After some point, some gathered and talked to one another, waiting for the night to pass. Pantalone stayed sat, drinking and drinking over and over again. Dottore, him, couldn't care less, or perhaps that was what he liked to tell himself, because behind his mask, his crimson eyes were focused on the banker's behaviour. He was leaning against a pillar, waiting to be dismissed by Pierro to finally continue his questionables researches.
The room started to be more easy to breathe in when Sandrone Columbina and Alerchino chatted together and invited Childe to join. The chatting grew vivid, the tension soothing, as Pierro discussed softly with Capitano over some irrelevant matter. All until suddenly, Pantalone stood up, everyone froze when they heard a small sound. Everyone was stiff when they saw the scene before their eyes.
Pantalone had hurried his step, almost rushing to hug Dottore tightly, cries coming off his cheeks in sobs. Dottore's hand froze, not knowing what to do, looking around everyone as he swallowed, almost hoping to find a solution in their eyes on how to behave when Pantalone, a stiff–always–annoyed–and–so–damn–cold–banker clung onto him like he was his lifeline. Dottore's mind wandered, was he even allowed to show such affection in public? What was happening right now?
"I hate them." Pantalone inhaled despite his sob, burying his face easily in Dottore's chest since he had left his glasses on the table, his eyes filled with fury. "I despise them."
"Lone–" Dottore almost cursed himself for using the nickname in front of all of them, this was like confirming this wasn't only Pantalone being drunk. "Common– there's the whole gang here you can't just cry like that what am I supposed to–"
"I don't want you to be a God, fuck I don't want it I despise it! What if you abandon me too? I'm never enough, never ever!" Pantalone's jaw clenched, his chest rising. "I hate them, all of them, if only I could…. If I could, I would butcher all of them." Dottore listened. "Why can't I be enough? No matter what I do I'll never be able to kill them, no matter what I fucking do! I can't save her, if I can't save her then I can't save you, or– I… I'm going mad." Pantalone chuckled, his hand now tightening in his own hair. "Dottore please… Please…I'm mad."
Dottore had no idea in the world what he was supposed to do. His heart screamed something entirely different than what his mind thought. He chose, slowly, to wrap his arms around Pantalone, almost as if to protect him, sheltering him against himself, as an attempt to control Pantalone's burning feelings.
"I'm here, Lone. You're enough for me, you'll always be." He muttered against his temple, holding him dangerously too close to him. "You drank too much. Way too much."
Pantalone only hiccuped, burying his face in Dottore's neck, as if his cologne might help the wound in his heart that never got to heal.
"I don't want to be a one night stand, I want to be yours." He muttered, unfortunately loud enough for the others to hear. "I want…. I want your arms when I cry… when it's late, when I cut into my…"
"Shhh, that's enough mh?" Dottore's cheeks were flushed behind his mask. "The whole family's here, remember?"
Everyone was shocked, firstly at Pantalone's behaviour, secondly at how Dottore stroked Pantalone's cheek, soothing him softly as if he would to an injured child. That was Dottore we talked about, he would soothe a child by butchering it up! Not… holding him like his world might shatter if he didn't do so.
Pantalone pouted, whipping some of his own tears. "...Tired."
"I know you are." Dottore chuckled briefly. "Let's go alright?"
"My glasses–"
"We'll get them back later, common."
Dottore peeked one last glance at Pierro, almost in an apology for the scene, before he walked out with Pantalone. As soon as the door closed, he decided to carry him back to his chamber which he always kept decently organised so that Pantalone would stop scolding him.
He made sure to hold the man's hair when he was throwing up, to shower him, to dress him in a silk black robe he only kept for him in his closet. After countless drunken protests, he managed to make the banker lay on the bed. Finally, Dottore pinned him down, cupping his red cheeks, looking at him deeply, his mask previously abandoned.
"Hey look at me, stop crying Feofan, you've been crying for two hours straight Arch– I mean… Her highness knows why. You'll get dehydrated at this point. And I'm not even talking about how pissed you'll be tomorrow, knowing you–" Dottore exhaled, his eyes softening. "Stop looking at me like that would you? What's wrong with you tonight? Mh?"
"I don't know." Pantalone mumbled between sobs. "I'm tired…"
"Then sleep, why are you being so difficult? Why must you always be?" His voice only carried gentleness.
Pantalone resigned and laid down, when Dottore stood up he, however, held his wrist.
"Stay." He almost pleaded, as Dottore sighed.
"I can call one of the segments to assist you."
"I don't want any of them."
"They're me, why would you care?"
"They're anything but you." Pantalone mumbled upset. "They don't breathe, they're cold annoying machines. I want you, I always do."
Dottore looked at him for a long time before he changed to comfier clothes and joined Pantalone to bed. He held him close, letting Pantalone take all the space in bed as he always did. He kissed his forehead, then softly his tender expensive lips.
"Go sleep, alright?"
Pantalone's body immediately relaxed, able to finally rest after those hours of nonsense. Dottore, on his side, looked at him. He was already aware of the fury that would occur tomorrow, Pantalone entirely freaking out angrily over what happened, not to mention the talk he knew Pierro would have with him… But for now, he'd rather enjoy this. He inhaled Pantalone's hair before drifting off to sleep.
Part 2 Available in the Serie "Dottolone - following serie" : "why you?"