Work Text:
It started at breakfast this morning, rambling on and on while the pan heated up until the butter melted and it was actually hot enough to start cooking the eggs so Avery didn't have to wait around right next to the stove and waste time stirring and stirring when he really didn't need to be. Something about a crazy Skywars match Avery had won the night before, staying up way into the night even though he knows he should go to sleep earlier because he had classes in the morning and then work later on today but he'd be fine because he always was. Something about a guy coming at him mid-air and another guy shooting them and then that second guy falling into the void while Avery watched the first one explode into a shower of items he didn't need anymore because the round had ended and his final opponents had killed the other and then themself. Derek just nodded and listened while he put some bread in the toaster and pushed down the little handle-thingy. Avery tapped his foot to the little buzzing noise from the heating elements as he finally poured the eggs in.
Then he had classes, and between those classes he had time and friends who seemed willing enough to listen to Avery go off about the same story and the same motifs and symbolism and the emotional meaning and impact over and over and over again. It didn't matter when they didn't respond and just let Avery keep going, talking about how they really should all see this new movie together and even if it's out of theaters now he has it downloaded because he found a Drive link with everything related to it for free and he could send them all the link if they wanted to watch by themselves or read the source material because it really was super good even before the movie came out and they should totally read it and the other bonus docs that were put out because it just makes everything so much more interesting and the worldbuilding is great and totally worth all the time it takes to get through the whole story a couple times to really understand it. None of them smiled, but at least they waved as they all went their separate ways to class. Avery was three minutes late and huffing as he rushed through the door.
Work was last before home, just stocking shelves and going up and down isles fixing things out of place and putting things back where they belong even if he didn't really need to and nobody cared but it kept Avery on his feet and that was one of the main reasons he took this job instead of taking that tech support job on campus that was open even if he was more than qualified for it. He just always had too much energy after classes, sitting down and cooped up in wheely seats that creaked whenever he rolled back and forth so he couldn't without interrupting his professor and that was rude so he didn't but even if he didn't care about that there wasn't enough space in the first place. There was only ever enough room to pull his chair out and sit down and God forbid someone had to walk behind him or else he'd have to squish himself as far into the table in front of him as possible, but here Avery had more than enough space to do whatever the hell he needed to not feel like he was a jar full of shaken bees and his managers didn't really care whatever he did because he always got his work done and more and never asked for extra whenever they made him do extra and maybe that was naive and dumb of him but taking a tiny bit more time after hours to walk around and take out the trash or do a quick sweep for anything super out of place worked off energy and that was payment enough and Avery really didn't want to bother anyone after he overheard them talking about his habit of rushing around so much so it really was okay.
Cooking dinner is when it starts crashing down, when all that energy from earlier is burned off and Avery is staring at a pan heating up again because Derek wanted to make chicken for dinner tonight because he found a recipe he might be able to stomach even if it is on the more flavorful side than what he would normally ask for after the whole business with The King messed him up so badly in pretty much every sensory department so Avery is more than willing to make it if Derek wants to try and now Derek is walking in and smiling at Avery as he grabs the chicken out of the freezer to defrost because Avery is an idiot who forgot meat actually needs to be defrosted and turned on the stove instead. He reaches for the dial to turn it off because it'll take at least an hour for the chicken to thaw and they don't need the stove to be on for that long because then the apartment will catch on fire somehow and they'll both be dead because of a house fire instead of because they fought and eldritch god, but then Derek catches his hand.
"Why are you turning it off?" he asks quietly because Derek is actually a very quiet person despite everything he's done like being the savior of the entire world and all of humanity and everything.
"Fire hazard?" Avery mumbles even though he is not a quiet person at all.
Derek reaches over Avery's shoulder which isn't very hard to do considering just how much taller he is and turns the burner back on before the pan can lose any heat. "We can cook some vegetables while the chicken defrosts."
"But doesn't it take like, an hour for meat to defrost?"
"I'm putting it in the sink," Derek explains as he does just that and turns the water on too but the sink is plugged so it doesn't go down the drain and the thing of frozen chicken just sits in the water as the layer of frost slowly disappears. "Now it should only take twenty to thirty minutes."
Avery looks down at the pan in his hand and watches the heating element start glowing again as it heats up and the pan gets ready to have something put in it so Avery doesn't have to ramble on and on while he waits for it to get hot enough like he did this morning with the eggs and walking between classes, but then while it heats up and once he doesn't have to be watching it the whole time he'll be dancing around the kitchen like he was during work, and during work and classes and in the morning nobody had said anything and he thinks his managers were even whispering about him and how- he has Derek's hand on his shoulder now, pulling him away because he really doesn't need to be holding the pan the entire time it's warming up and it would be much more helpful to the pursuit of cooking dinner to wash and cut the zucchini Derek and he had picked up at the grocery store the last time they went because Derek thought it would go good with the chicken recipe he wanted to try but make sure not to wash the zucchini in the same side of the sink as the chicken was defrosting in because that probably wouldn't be unhygienic because the chicken was in a plastic bag but it would at the very least be weird and Avery doesn't need to be any weirder.
Avery grabs one of the little serrated knives out of the knife set his mom had gifted him when he first got this apartment because he doesn't trust himself with the big ones you're meant to cut vegetables with because it's supposed to cut nicer or something but that's just what he was told by his grandmother and he doesn't know if he really trusts her on this but even then knives are knives are knives. "But then will twenty minutes be long enough for these?"
"Twenty to thirty minutes, and we don't have to put the chicken on right away," Derek corrects because he's pedantic like that and Avery really only knows that word because Derek called him pedantic one time when playing Minecraft because Avery said the difference between jungle and oak was night and day and they were not having their house built out of jungle even if there was more of it nearby. "And yes, they should since the pan doesn't need to heat up any more." He smiles fondly because he's also an incredibly caring person and that is not in spite of everything he's done like being the savior of the entire world and all of humanity and everything. "You have a tendency to zone out for a bit after turning the stove on."
"'never noticed that."
"You don't notice a lot of things," Derek says just as fondly as he'd smiled like it's a character trait instead of a massive glaring flaw on Avery's otherwise really not at all gleaming record now that he thinks about it.
"...oh." Avery cuts the end off the zucchini in front of him.
They both sit in silence for a little while with Avery handling the knifework because neither of them trust Derek to do it with how his hands shake after everything and it's a miracle he even has the coordination to play Minecraft well enough to build with the wrong wood and it's a miracle he's even alive to play and struggle and not use knives and suggest chicken recipes for dinner at all considering literally everything they both went through even if it was mostly Derek so Avery should be fine right now and shouldn't be worrying about talking too much and moving too much and forgetting things too much because Derek wouldn't do any of those things if he were in Avery's shoes. Granted, Avery's shoes are filled with early but still too-late diagnoses and failed attempts at medications and pills that made him angry and advice and schedules that made him want to scream stuff his socks but even still Derek would do better or at the very least not feel like he's fucking up constantly because he's Derek Hutchins for Christ sake. He's D3rlord3. He has The King In Yellow telling him every little thing going on around him so he knows exactly what to do and what not to do and all Avery can do is guess.
“You’re quiet,” Derek says after a while as he just looks at the chicken in the sink to know if it’s even defrosting at all because he can talk and check and eyeball things at the same time without getting distracted like a certain someone else who is currently preoccupied with the zucchini not slicing how he wants and the skin leaving little tear marks and hanging-off bits that he hates because then they aren’t pretty perfect little coins and it won’t affect cooking them at all and he’ll forget by the time they’re done and ready to be eaten but it’s bothering Avery now so he can’t focus on anything else.
"Sorry."
Derek opens the spice cupboard because that's another thing that Avery forgot, just like turning on the stovetop before he was ready to cook this morning and an assignment he was meant to have ready for class today and that he was meant to be moving things to clearance during work but got distracted and had to be reminded twice by different people who very clearly did not want to deal with him now that he's thinking back on it. "You don't need to apologize, I'm just making an observation. You normally talk more when we cook."
Avery stares at the cutting board so hard and intense that if the universe had any sense of humor or what was right it would burst into flames and they wouldn't need the stove for cooking anymore. "Sorry."
"I said you don't need to apologize."
"...sorry," Avery mumbles because that's all he can muster right now and he is infinitely lucky and blessed and God must be real because it's a miracle that he doesn't just whimper like a kicked puppy. "'m sorry."
"Avery..."
His hands are shaking as he cuts the zucchini and at this rate it might've been a better idea to actually give Derek the knife since Avery can barely since the cutting board in front of him as his vision starts warping with tears. "Sorry. Sorry, Derek, I'm- I'm sorry. I was- I'm just-"
"Avery," Derek says sharply, in that same tone he uses when The King won't shut up and give him peace and now he's using that tone on Avery so he must be pissing him off now and now he actually does whimper like an abused dog and he flinches like one too. The whole pathetic package. "Avery, are you all right?"
"'m sorry," Avery hiccups. He drops the knife as soon as he's done cutting and wraps his arms around his chest, hands tucked against his sides, standing there like a kid who jut got yelled at which he might as well be because he feels like a stupid annoying kid most of the time anyways, it's just other people telling him to knock it off never-- Derek. "I-I'm really- I'm really sorry, Derek. I- I didn't mean to- to make you mad- o-or-"
"Avery-"
"I'm just- I'm sorry- I'm sorry, Derek- please-"
"Avery. Avery," Derek grabs Avery by the shoulders and he flinches and freezes and shrinks and melts and collapses and disintegrates and he's getting into the big fancy words now because normal words aren't enough and he fucking combusts as Derek Hutchins holds Avery's shaking shoulders in his unsteady hands and holds him while he cries for Avery doesn't even know what reason he just does because it's all too much and he doesn't want to annoy Derek too by breaking down in the middle of the kitchen when they're meant to be making dinner and they're both getting hungry so this is just a massive waste of time and Avery is being a massive nuisance and a massive waste of space like always. He keeps mouthing apologies while Derek just stares at him because while he is very quiet and very caring he is not very good at dealing with emotions, his own and especially other's, which does go against everything he's done like being the savior of the entire world and all of humanity and everything but it doesn't matter because struggling with empathy is Derek Hutchins' only flaw.
"I- I don' wanna- wanna be annoying-" Avery sniffles as Derek holds him in place, finally calmed down enough to speak through the tears after an embarrassing amount of time but what isn't embarrassing about a freshly twenty-something sobbing to a guy who he barely knows in the grand scheme of things about not wanting to talk while making dinner because he didn't want to annoy him. It's not just embarrassing, it's humiliating and way more annoying than just rambling on about any memorable customers that came through or whatever insane out of pocket shit his professors had said during class or how during breakfast he remembered they needed to pick up muffins the next time they went to the store or a weird dream he forgot to bring up when he first woke up because the only two things Avery can do well are ramble and forget and both of those are just him being annoying.
"What?-" and then Derek stops and goes quiet like he's listening or thinking or both and looks off at the blank wall next to the entrance to the kitchen where Avery really has been meaning to buy something to put there because it just looks so plain. "Avery, why do you think you're annoying me?"
"B-because between class I was talking to- to my friends and I talked the whole time and nobody s- said anything and they really weren't interested at all but I just kept going and going and I didn't shut up until they all said they had to get to class and now that I'm thinking they definitely just wanted to get away from me because I wouldn't stop talking and none of them cared and- and-" Avery breathes in that stupid way everybody does when crying, like his lungs are trying to fold in over themselves and his breathing tube-thing is tied all up around them so he can't actually get a real breath in and he hiccups and shudders and convulses and Derek still holds him and he's still looking at him and waiting because apparently one reason isn't enough for someone who knows everything. "A-and then during work I was running around how I usually do and I was meant to do things and I kept forgetting and people had to keep reminding me and I kept forgetting and going off to do my own thing instead which I wasn't meant to do because they told me to go put things in clearance and I kept getting distracted so I didn't for a while and I still got it done but I was doing what I was thinking about first instead of what I was supposed to do because I'm a selfish asshole who can only think about himself and what he wants to do and never anyone else or what they want-"
"Avery." That tone is back and Avery stops immediately, clamming up and taking shuddering breaths through his nose that are way too loud for the quiet kitchen and Derek quietly staring at him while he gets himself under control enough to be able to listen even though he won't take anything in or absorb jack shit because he never does and never has and never will because he's Avery and that's just what Avery does. "I asked why you think you're annoying me, not other people."
"W-what?"
"Why do you think you're annoying me?"
Avery sniffles. "B-because you- because you didn't say anything w-when I was talking during- during breakfast."
"Avery..." Derek says, but not in the 'King' tone he's been using. Instead he uses the most devastatingly soft voice he can muster, still harsh and awkward but Avery knows this voice, this is the one he heard at the hospital when he found out that Derek had somehow survived telling an eldritch god to go fuck Itself in no uncertain terms and Avery said he thought he had died and Derek looked at him just as he is now and said in this same, gentle voice that made Avery want to start crying all over again: "Avery."
Avery lifts his head to look at his knight in bedhead and rumpled old thrifted T-shirt and waits on his next words because unlike him Avery doesn't know everything and can't predict entire conversations based on the exact humidity and air pressure of the room when he walks in.
"I wasn't talking because I was listening to you." Avery freezes. "You sounded excited and I didn't want to interrupt."
"I- I thought- I thought you-" Avery's vision had cleared, but now there's rain on the windshield again and he can't see anything more than a dark blob that has to be Derek's face as he still keeps holding onto Avery until he's done crying which won't be for a while.
"I enjoy listening to you talk. It means I don't have to." Derek lets go of Avery's shoulders and Avery feels like he might collapse without the support. He doesn't but he feels like it as he sways and latches onto the kitchen island that he and Derek definitely didn't assemble right and wasn't built to support a person's weight or designed to so the way it sways ever so slightly probably isn't entirely the fault of Avery not being the best at following instructions because he was not going to let Derek assemble this thing by himself so soon out of the hospital when he was still struggling to stand or hold a computer mouse. "And I like seeing you happy, and you get smile a lot when you talk."
At this point Avery just nods, thoroughly out of things to say because he was already clamming up before and now Derek's stapled his mouth shut by telling him how much he likes when Avery yaps and doesn't shut up for anything. He stares at Derek's shoulder because even if he can't see his facial features through his tears looking someone dead in the eyes gets uncomfortable after a while even if he can't actually see his eyes.
Derek's hand lands back on Avery's shoulder but it's only the one this time. "You should go lie down."
"B-but we're cooking-"
"You already did everything that we need a knife for; I can handle it from here." He pulls his hand away and straightens back up because he's been hunched over this whole time and Avery always forgets just how tall he is. "Go lie down on the couch. I'll call you if I need help with anything."
And again, Avery nods because there's nothing else he can do. Avery's gone and all that's left are the lorde's orders. Avery goes and lies down on the couch.